My husband gave me my little prince, Bruiser, for Mother's Day in 2001. He was only four weeks old when I got him. He meant so much to me because he was not only an awesome little Chihuahua, but because my husband gave him to me.

Bruiser died in my arms last Wednesday morning. He was diagnosed with severe heart disease which resulted in congestive heart failure. I'm so sick and so sad over losing him. I miss him so much. He was my little buddy and we had these goofy things we did routinely. I would hold him and say, "Who's my little prince?" He would put his head down under my chin and snuggle into me. If I was reading a book or working on my laptop, he was either on my lap or under the blanket next to me.

I try not to cry in front of my family because it upsets them to see me upset, but I'm so sad. I feel stupid in saying it, but my heart hurts. I feel such a void. I keep catching myself looking around for Bruiser and he's not there. I can't get over the thought that I'm never going to have him to hold onto or snuggle up to again.

How do people get over this grief? I'm sick to my stomach and I don't want to get out of bed. I know it will get better but, right now, it sucks. And why do people say things like, "It was just a dog. Why are you still upset?" or "He's in a better place. He's not suffering anymore." I want to tell them to shut up. I know they mean well. I do. I just don't want to hear their comments.

Hi, Chrissy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Bruiser. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

It is important that you allow yourself the freedom to validate your feelings, Chrissy. Please believe me when I say they are not "stupid". Clinical professionals recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as devastating, if not more so, as the physical loss of a human family member or friend. Unfortunately, our society in general, and regrettably sometimes the people who are closest to us, do not acknowledge this, and this adds to our sorrow. So when you hear unkind comments from people you do have the right to walk away from them. You also have the right to avoid them, if possible, until - - if or when - - you feel strong enough to share their company again.

Chrissy, this grief journey is filled with so many different emotions sometimes overwhelming us at the same time. Our beloved companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely. When they precede us to the angels our hearts do feel like a part of us is missing, and it is because our beloved companions took that part of us that belongs only to them with them. The "adjustment" journey to re-defining our lives without the physical presence our beloved companions is very painful, both emtionally and physically. Hopefully, as your deep grief eases, Chrissy, you will know that your beloved Bruiser's sweet Living Spirit is forever with you in your heart and memories, and he continues to share your life just as he always has and always will. But for now, Chrissy, this is little consolation to a heart that is shattered with grief.

Chrissy, it is important for you to know that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, for each of us knows first hand what you are going through. Perhaps in time you will want to share a picture (s) and some memories of your sweet Bruiser with us.

Chrissy, I know there are no adequate words in any language that can take the away the grief that you are feeling, but I hope and pray you will find comfort, support, encouragement, and hope here from each of us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Chrissy, and please let us know how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. My sweet Chihuahua mix Spooky passed away 12/23 and I'm still struggling with it all. These past few days have been particularly hard and, besides the people on this board, no one seems to understand the incredibly loss. I find myself being very angry with people who knew and loved her - who don't seem to be upset. Of course, I don't express this to them - but the way certain people have reacted to her passing has changed my opinion of them ...

I don't know how people get over this grief ... it is all consuming at times. There's not much in my day that I do that isn't loaded with thoughts of my girl. Driving today - all I could think about was her in the car with me - the tears burst through the thoughts and I'm crying in an instant.

I can tell how special your little Prince was to you ... and I can almost feel how much you loved him. It's a devastating loss - a whole punched through your world and everything hurts. I feel it too.

I am so so sorry for your loss.

Hi Chrissy

I have found this site so helpful in the past day or so because we can identify with each other's physical responses to losing our beloved pets. I lost my gorgeous boy Tam on Friday afternoon. I now understand why the words heartache and broken hearted are used - I felt nauseous - even when close friends and family have died I had not experienced these feelings as part of my grieving. But i then, rather than thinking about what I will never again be able to do with Tam,I thought about what a gift he had been in my life and focussed on the many many happy and funny memories I have - that helped me greatly.....this morning I have actually eaten breakfast - I have found mornings the hardest because Tam and I had a morning 'routine' for more than 13 and a half years so that is when my nausea and heartache were the worst.

You will never get over losing Prince but you will adjust to life without him - I'm sure his spirit is there and if you sit quietly he will come back to let you know he is always there for you. I apologise if this is not something you can believe.

My heart goes out to you - stay strong and remember the great times you shared....i hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

Margie

Thank you all so much. This has been so hard. I was reading some of the other threads and it helps to know that I'm not alone in how I feel. My husband is really hurting, too. I'm thankful that he's supportive in his own quiet way.

I was having a rough day to begin with and then the mail came. Our vet's office, bless their hearts, sent us a sympathy card. We took Bruiser to them to be cremated - we'll get his ashes this week. I'm not exactly looking forward to that, but at least he'll be here with me albeit in a rather odd way. Anyway, they pawprinted Bruiser and sent the little pieces of paper to me in the sympathy card. I can't even look at them. I appreciate, so much, that they did that but I wasn't expecting it and it made me cry all over again.

moon_beam - Thank you. Just thank you.

Christina R - I'm so sorry for your loss. Isn't it amazing how these little tiny beings leave such an imprint on your heart. I understand about how people have reacted to Spooky's passing and how it changes your opinion of them. I'm amazed that people actually say what they do. Don't they think before they open their mouths?

Margie - I read your posts about Tam. I'm so sorry that he's no longer with you. Bruiser would have been 10 this coming April. It's just not long enough, you know? I do believe that his spirit is with me.

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Hi, Chrissy, thank you so much for sharing a picture of your precious Bruiser with us. Receiving the ashes of our beloved companions is a two edged sword: on the one side it is comforting to have their ashes home again, while on the other side it is another "reality check" that our relationship with them has changed to a different dimension.

Chrissy, I hope today has been an easier one for you. Each day in this grief journey can seem like it has its own agenda. I'm so glad you and your husband are able to comfort one another as each of you need. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, Chrissy, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moon_beam - Today is a week. I still don't feel like leaving my house. I'm not hiding out in my bedroom, though, so that's some progress.

I was reading your posts about Oslo. He was a gorgeous boy. We had a black lab, Bear, when I was growing up. Your Oslo reminds me of her. It's funny because I don't remember being this heartbroken when any of our pets passed away when I was younger.

Thank you, moon_beam. I've read many of your other posts and comments and your words are comforting. :hugs:

Hi Chrissy

It's good to read you are making progress .... Please know you are in my thoughts and my prayers. Stay strong and positive Chrissy - this past week has been a tough flip-side to the wonderful decade (almost) you had with Bruiser. I know the loss is overwhelming but Bruiser's love is eternal ..... I hope it can warm your aching heart soon.

Take care

Margie

Hi Chrissy,

A week is just a drop in the bucket compared to the time you shared with your precious Bruiser, so it's no surprise that you still feel so bad. Just take things slowly, Chrissy, don't put too much pressure on yourself. I assure you with time and tears (that's why they are sometimes called 'healing tears') it will start to feel better. You will never forget your little cutie-pie, and there will probably always be a hole in your heart, but the scar won't feel so raw in time. You will be able to think of Bruiser and smile at the wonderful times you had together, and remember how you're a better person for having known and loved him.

Take care of yourself.

Cheryl x

Hi, Chrissy, progress, however slow, is still progress, and unfortunately this grief journey cannot be rushed. There is no fast forward through the deep sorrow and emotional and physical pain of this grief journey. And that is why each of us are here for each other, for it is through our collective strengh and encouragement that we find the hope to endure one more minute, one more hour, one more day until hopefully one day we can find ourselves once again smiling when we remember our precious companions, and once again able to feel the warmth of their presence in our hearts instead of the piercing cold, aching hole of their physical absence.

Chrissy, we grieve differently when we're younger. Each beloved companion has their own special place in our hearts and lives. So, please do not compare your memory of how you grieved for Bear with how you are now grieving for your precious Bruiser.

Chrissy, to reiterate what Cheryl shared with you, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Allow yourself enough freedom to just hibernate when you don't have to be at work or with friends and/or family. You need private time to rest - - and to let go of your emotions which as Cheryl so poignantly shared is a very necessary part of this grief healing journey.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Chrissy, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Chrissy

It's not stupid at all to say your heart hurts, mine feels broken beyond repair. I think it makes sense that we feel this way. I don't know why it is that some people just don't understand how massive the grief is, I guess that's why you need to come here becuase we do know.

The feelings are so powerful, but I think they are a testament to how deeply we love/d out babies.

I am thinking of you and Bruiser with much fondness.

As hard as it seems and as much as you may not want to, please take gentle care of yourself for however long this takes.

Thank you all so, so much. It's such a huge blessing to have somewhere to go where other people are supportive and nonjudgemental.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm having a hard time with it. I think the worst thing, besides the obvious, is that my girls don't really understand how bad I feel. They're 17 & 10. They feel bad that Bruiser passed away, but they just can't grasp how hard it's hit me. They want to go shopping and I just can't bring myself to deal with the mall and people.

I can't explain it, but I feel stupid for feeling as bad as I feel. I'm so sad and I miss Bruiser so much. There's just such a void in my life. Who knew that a 7 pound, bug eyed, red haired dog could leave such a hole in my heart.

Hi, Chrissy, birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, holidays - - each one can be a benchmark reminder that we are missing a very important part of our lives, and for you, Chrissy, it is the precious physical presence of your beloved Bruiser. The having to put on the "public face" or "happy face" when our hearts are breaking adds to the pain that is already in our hearts.

You are not "stupid", Chrissy, and certainly not because of your deep sorrow. As for your daughters, remember - - children grieve differently from adults, including 17 year old teenagers. There will come a time when your daughters will better understand what you are feeling now, Chrissy, but that may not be for quite awhile. But please be assured that each of us are here for you, Chrissy, and you will always have our support and encouragement.

Chrissy, I hope today and tomorrow, and each day thereafter, will be peaceful for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Chrissy, and that I will look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam