Hi there it is nice we have the internet to find sites like this that bring such love and devotion to our pets. Thank you for letting me come here.

Friday my wife and I made a difficult decision to put our beloved Misty to sleep she was 16. Last May we had to put our other friend Jasper to sleep at 12 as he had major problems with his bowels and throughout his life had to have a clean out. Since he left, Misty became rather distressed with her life, she could not settle, she ate more than she used too and my wife and I were also unhappy. We stuck with it till now and I just woke up and said something is not right and I could not bear seeing her like that. She used to be a relaxed cat doing what cats do and she loved jasper as they were always on the bed together.

Misty did have a thyroid removed a few years back as she became unsettled, wanting food all the time and we think it might have been the other thyroid, we thought that at 16 she was too old to keep poking her about, so I said to my wife, what do you think, it is decision we both got to make and live with it. I told the vet what was going on and thought she was no longer happy and would be wise to put her to sleep. The vet did not even take her out of the box and she just accepted our wishes. Vets I thought never put down a cat unless it was necessary, but she gave us option of blood tests, but maybe I was selfish for my own ends and just wanted out. I do not know. I now feel guilty.

I am an animal person and I do relate to animals better than humans, my wife seems to have accepted it, but I am racked with guilt and seeing misty slipping into a sleep. What have I done. You cannot go back. The home is now empty it is a void.

Misty came with us from our ground floor flat which we had a garden, we then moved to a first floor flat with a communal garden, when we had Jasper he was blind, I think she was not bothered about going out as she was being a mother to him, she washed and cleaned him. we loved them both, maybe she was no longer happy.

She just kept on and on and she would sit with a paw stuck up begging me for something, I always took her down and let her out as we thought it would be good for her, she never went far. So I do not know. She also started coming to the toilet with us, I always had her on my chest when watching telly, she always came and sat between us in bed and we loved each others company, I even woke up one day and she was sleeping with her head on the pillow, like I had a second wife, she was badly abused when we rescued her and she was loved.

Hi, DJ, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Misty. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can once again be happy and restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

DJ, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will have during our earthly journey. It is filled with so many different and complex emotions sometimes overwhelming us all at once. Guilt, unfortunately, is one of the many emotions this grief journey burdens us with, and it is one of the harder emotions to reconcile. Guilt is the result of all the "hindsights" we go over and over in our minds - - the "why did I's" the "why didn't I's" etc. Unfortunately we do not have the privilege of foresight, only the "benefit" of hindsight, and sometimes in our deepest grief this guilt emotion can make us feel like we're going insane.

DJ, our beloved companions can grieve themselves to illness, and it sounds like Misty was not thriving after she lost the physical company of her brother, Jasper. It is sad to see our beloved companions drifting away from us, slowly. Quality of life is not just based on physical health but also on emotional health as well. DJ, from your post there is no doubt in my mind that you and your wife gave your precious Misty a long and happy life. Being 16 years old you were very compassionate to not have your precious Misty undergo invasive tests that certainly would have made her physically uncomfortable.

I can so relate to this situation, DJ. My little kitty son, Noah, is the sole survivor in a household that used to have four furkids. One by one he has witnessed the physical passing of each of his housemates to the angels, the last one being this baby sister, Abbygayle (see my thread on Abbygayle's Journey if you'd like). When Abbygayle joined the angels in March 2010 I was so very afraid that he would grieve himself to death. I know he is lonely without his housemates, but so far he and I are enjoying each other's company. It has been almost 9 months since Abbygayle joined the angels.

My point, DJ, is that you and your wife always did the very best for your precious furkids with the information you had avaialable to you at the time. They know you love them, DJ, and would have done everything within your power to keep them safe, healthy, and happy. Unfortunately, our furkids physical bodies are not designed for immortality on this side of eternaity. And, it doesn't matter if our earthly journey with them has been one minute, one month, one year, 10 years, or 50 years - - we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more - - life time - - with them. Our earthly journey with them will never ever be long enough.

DJ, I do so know how grief stricken your heart, your life, and your home are right now. The physical loss of our beloved companions is very traumatizing. Our lives change for the better when our beloved companions come into our lives, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. This time, however, we are blessed with the precious memories they give to us during their earthly journey with us. The love bond we share with them during their earthly journey with us is eternal, DJ - - for love is not bound by the physical laws of time and space.

DJ, please know you are not alone in this grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, DJ. Perhaps sometime when you're ready you will share picture(s) of your precious furkids with us, and some of your wonderful memories.

DJ, I hope what I have shared with you will bring you some comfort. I know right now there are no adequate words in any language that can take away the deep ache that is in your heart right now. Just please know that each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you every step of your grief journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, DJ, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

thank you moon beam that made us cry and has helped with the guilt and grief. We had misty from 3 and half years where we believe she did not had to good childhood, she was rescued and we chose her as if she was chosen for us. We lived in a ground floor with a garden we then had to move to a first floor flat and a communal garden, I always made sure that windows were closed in the communal area and I took her down, she always went into the bush, so not sure she was happy then. We decided we did not want to give her to another place we were so attached to her so we went a long with it.

We took on another cat called Jasper. he was 5 when we had him, his previous owners could not keep him, but I think the husband pushed his wife to give him away, he was well overweight and I worked to get his weight down so he could clean himself, but it created problems such as megacolon and we did our best to get medical attention to keep him comfortable. In the end at 12 we did not want him to have anymore ops and we let him go.

My wife and I both have disabilities struggled to do our best for them, I just woke up Friday morning and I was so frustrated that I had to get her to a vet and free her. The vet did not even do simple checks she offered blood tests, my wife and I decided that we no longer can cope and it was not fair on her. The vet did not even take her out of the box she just gave 2 options, tests or put to sleep.

That is my guilt, i killed our cat.

when the time is right I will post some pics of misty and jasper together, they were both happy even so they were indoor cats, i could not risk letting a blind cat out as he would have got lost. Misty wasnt that bothered she was happy being with Jasper and yes I believed they were close, times they have a spat but she did sit with him on our bed.

We always had to fight for our bed as we were too soft and treated them like human beings. I even offered them tea, coffee and a biscuit, but they were happy with their food and water. I did occasionally give them milk.

Now we got our bed back, we can open windows and balcony doors as we were too nervous to do that, we did go shopping tonight and we went passed the cat food and we were sad, but we said we can save money. I know what I perferred, having unconditional company with an animal so rewarding.

Which is why the loss of a pet is so difficult to deal with. Our pets love us unconditionally and are always there for us, no matter what. They don't complain about the way we look or if we are sad - they are always there. As you said before, the bonds we share with animals can be as strong, sometimes stronger, than the bonds we share with other humans. As moon beam said, guilt is by far one of the hardest, if not THE hardest, emotion to deal with as we grieve for our pets. I would venture to say that anyone who has ever loved and lost a pet has had to deal with the feelings of guilt. You have to keep reminding yourself and your wife that you gave Misty the best life she could possibly have. She was loved for many years by people who truly cared for her. Always remember the life you gave Misty and be proud of yourselves for taking her into your home.

I have sent a message to the other world that Jasper and Misty will always have a home in spirit if they need to drop by for some comfort. I have asked them that have gone ahead of us to keep an eye on them.

Thank you Aaron for that, it was a great comfort to read it and yes we need to focus on the good times.

I have put there pics up on flickr for safety in case our computers go pop. If you know how to use flickr my username is davidbrooks4060. It is open to the public to see there pics in full.

Misty was also a star in our local council tenant newspaper. I treated all my animals like humans. Misty is the black one, Jasper is the tabby, he was something special too, we had to say goodbye to him last May. He was blind and had his problems, but we kept with it till his last moments. I had to free him from his suffering.

Thank you for sharing the pictures of your two friends. They looked like they were best buddies.

Even though they bring tears in the early stages of grief, you have to try your best to remember the good times, of which I am sure there are a countless number. As my wife and I say to each other, we would trade all the happy memories we have of Reggie and all the good times we shared with him for anything. This grief we all feel is the price we pay for experiencing such strong, happy bonds with these animals. It never matters how long we spend with our friends either, it's never enough.

here is another pic of misty a few years ago. She was very photogenic, a lot of people said she did well to 16, i think if I did not get her first gland sorted she would have gone ages ago. So I gave her 2 more years of life. I am going to light some chinese lanterns at new year in memory of passed loved ones.

I am still feeling guilty of putting her to sleep. but everyone said I did the right thing, she would have got older and if she did have an illness, it would have not been pleasant for her. My stress levels have dropped considerably and as I am diabetic my sugars are down. I wish we could have a way to rejuvinate them.

here is a pic of Jasper on his own, when we had him he was like a barrel as the previous people were to loving and fed him, he could even wash himself, so he went my version of weight watchers and I slimmed him down, he was still a big cat, but he had the ability to wash himself. He was blind and so it my wife so she understood him. He passed away in May with megacolon, I hate seeing animals in pain and emotional suffering.

Hi, DJ, thank you so much for sharing with us the wonderful pictures of your precious Misty and Jasper. They are so o o precious. They were blessed to have you and your wife for their caregivers, and they are still and always will be a part of your heart and your life.

DJ, unfortunately our beloved companions' physical bodies are not designed for immortality on this side of eternity. The good news is that someday at your and your wife's appropriate time, your beloved Misty and Jasper will be waiting for you at the Bridge to guide you into eternal joy with them. But for now, DJ, you and your wife are blessed with the cherished memories of your precious Misty and Jasper. Nothing and no one can ever take these memories from you. Their sweet Living Spirits are forever with you as you and your wife continue on in your earthly journey, and only you and your wife have this privilege.

Thank you again so much for honoring us by sharing these wonderful pictures and your memories with us, DJ. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

thank you moon beam i am glad you enjoyed the pics, Lisa and I always loved and we involved them in home committee, I know it sounds mad, but we did not treat them as second class only first class. They had access to our bed when we did not need it and they knew when we wanted it back. Jasper had a blanket which he brought with him from his first home, I washed it and told him you got to share it with Misty, which he did. There were no favourites.

I always picked good food that they like, I accommodate them well, even fresh chicken and meat not scraps, if I cook for us they were involved when the food would suit them. I never gave them food that was not suitable, hence why they grew old.

So yes it was madhouse but hey it was worth it.

What sweet friends those two were, how lucky to have shared your life with them. The photos are great, I always enjoy seeing pictures of other peoples' pets. Always such beauties, they are.

Like you, I am also struggling with the loss of a sweet companion. She passed away while I was out of town. Still hard to accept at times. I have had others die in recent years, one in 2008 and one in 2009, so it sort of all comes back to you, the loss multiplies. You are, no doubt, feeling this yourselves.

I think we all feel guilt when our animals pass on, we want to give them the very best in life, as they give so much of themselves to us. But there is a limit to our experience here and now and no matter what we do, no matter all our efforts, our good loving friends will leave us. It is the nature of life.

My kitty that died in June of '09 also was depressed at the loss of his lifetime companion, Molly Malone, who had died in September of '08. I was really shocked when he started losing weight and then he rapidly declined. The two were raised together all their lives, she was a surrogate Mom to him as I got him when he was a kitten and she was about 6 months-1 year old. It's been hard losing those two, I had them for about 12 years and there is a lifetime of experiences that we shared. You just can't replace that and you can't expect to move on instantly or painlessly, either. Grieving takes its own time, so I hope you will be kind to yourselves and allow for your own process, your healing to unfold and comfort you in its own way.

Thanks for coming here and sharing your story.

Jan

Hi JanEee, thank you for those kind words, it has been a week now since Misty was put to sleep and I really felt it today. We had Misty for 12 years, it was a priviledge knowing her so long, she gave us so much comfort.

Due to our home circumstances, we decided not to have anymore animals as we are on the first floor and i was always fearful she would fly out of the communal windows. My wife and I took turns to take her downstairs and let her out and let her back in, it is not fair, we had her from our old place where we had a garden and cat flap.

However I do get tempted at times though.

Hi, DJ, yes, I know the temptation all too well to bring another companion into the home. However, I am now of the age where I must consider other factors in how I would be able to properly take care of another companion. You and your wife need to make the decisions that are best for you whatever the circumstances might be. Just please know we are here for you and are a support to you and your wife always.

Please know you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, DJ, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

thank you moon beam for your lovely reply, Lisa and I think that Misty is still with us in spirit, there are times when I see for a split second a cat wondering about the flat, it might be just residual energy, but I if she is there, well she knows we will never turn her away. So if anyone believes or sort of believes or not at all, just remember they might not be in a body but they may well be there, so do not completely write them off.

Hi, DJ, it doesn't surprise me at all that you and your wife have Misty's sweet Living Spirit with you. I'm so glad you and Lisa are comforted by this. Misty knows she is always welcome in whatever life form she may be.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how you and Lisa are doing. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how things are going for you and your wife.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam