I read on here someone described their pet as their "soulkitty." And from the first moment I saw this kitten that's how I felt. Before that day I never liked cats. I never had pets, I just didn't seem that interested. But my boyfriend suggested we take a look at the shelter since there so many animals out there who need some visitors, so worst case we could just go and play with a few.
When he walked out of his cage it was over. He was already mine. I felt like I had known him my entire life, and we were being reunited. His name just came out of my mouth, like it was already his. I said this is Emmett. And that's how we met. My little 2 month old furry best friend.
So me and Emmett spent our days together, and his personality shown through to me instantly. I wasn't sure what a typical cat was supposed to do, but he certainly didn't do what I imagined. He only drank water out of a human glass.. never from a bowl or the sink. It had to be from a drinking cup put on a table. When he was hungry he would let out these little kitty barks all the way over to his food dish. He would steal cheezits from my lunch when I wasn't looking and was known to pull the roast beef out of your sandwich if you didn't eat it fast enough. And he always, ALWAYS slept on his back with this stomach up, in some Cirque du Soleil positions. When I was sick with the flu and suffering from chills, he would come to me and lay the length of my back to keep me warm, and lick my forehead when I was in between consciousness. He also went through about 50 drinking straws a day - his favorite and ONLY toy. These are some of the best things I remember about him, how caring and unique he was. Always there for me, always and always.
Then Emmett got sick. It started one day with his throwing up. Someone recommended to us their vet (not the original one we had seen when he was a kitten,) and we took him there. Looks like maybe he ate something that didn't agree with him.. he soon threw up 3 pieces of a rubber band, and a tiny piece of a plastic straw. That first few days he was throwing up 20 times a day. Severely dehydrated. Not eating. The vet, whom we took him to every single day for two straight weeks did nothing for him. They did bloodwork and xrays EVERY VISIT. It was over 2000 dollars to do this. They never gave him any medicine or told us anything. Just kept telling us to come back. Eventually how can you keep affording to do that with no answers? They mentioned Pancreatitis, but again nothing else and no medicine. We were so scared for him, since he wasn't eating, or doing anything but sleeping. Had to feed him with a syringe for a month, and eventually the throwing up became less and less.
Finally he was feeling better. After not hearing him purr in over a month the slight sound of him doing so brought me to tears. He started to eat again on his own, using the bathroom, even playing with straws. I was so overjoyed in him being out of the woods on whatever was causing his sickness. We kept helping him keep hydrated with some water but other than that he was much better! Yet something was nagging at me. I saw him jump down from the couch and fall.. no longer landing on all his feet the way he should. The tips of his ears were slightly folding over. He looked sad somehow..
Then on Sunday my poor baby was breathing heavily. He was laying there and not moving his legs, like he had no strength at all. His eyes look terrified and I couldn't understand what was happening. He started to cry a bit and we got in the car to rush to the vet and my poor baby's breaths were so weak. Almost once every 10 seconds it felt like. Then he looked at me and I was saying every prayer I knew in the book but I couldn't save him. I saw the spark leave from his eye, and I couldn't feel any more breaths. My baby had died in my arms.
At first I was angry. The stupid vet who said nothing, just continually suggested we come back in and pay and pay. I was angry that God took my best friend at only a year old. Emmett deserved to live a longer life than this, surely. I didn't get out of bed for days, everything was a reminder of him. I kept thinking I heard him, or saw something out of the corner of my eye... I was going nuts. Already an extremely sensitive person I thought, there is no way I'm going to make it through this. But I found comfort in reading some of these posts. Learning to let go of the blame, the guilt. I tried to speak and look at pictures of him often because I want him to be the best memory that I have. I don't want to think of him and only feel pain..
My boyfriend suggested we go back to the shelter and visit some of the other kitties because I have a lot of love in my heart and there are so many who could use a hug. We ended up adopting two kittens when we went.. a spur of the moment thing. They had soooo many animals who needed homes, spilling out into the hallway and visiting rooms. Five times the amount they should even be able to hold comfortably. With Emmett's memory still strong in my heart I tried to make room for two more to come in.
I know people worry about it being too soon. Yet I found myself remembering Emmett more fondly with these kittens. I would tell them (Leonard and Sheldon), "I wish you two could have known your uncle Emmett, this was his favorite spot to lay in the sun." and "Uncle Emmett would have loved to share his straw collection with you guys." It was hard to sit in bed and mope with two innocent kittens begging to be held. In a way they forced me to get up and try to heal.
Emmett was more than just a cat to me. He definitely was this "soulkitty." The kind doctor who helped me after his death said that he died of kidney failure...something that my previous vet should have definitely realized was his issue from day one. He was barely 6 lbs, he had lost 7lbs in a month from his illness. I still miss him deeply, and shed tears for him when I'm alone. But I'm trying to heal.
I want to thank people for taking the time to read this, and for all their other posts on these forums because they helped me get to the point I am today.. on the track of healing.
- Danielle.
and one of him as a kitten in the arm of my boyfriend:
