I went looking for pet loss support sites and found this place.

I lost my baby, my kitty girl Sadie, last Tuesday 9/28, to renal lymphoma. It happened so quickly, I am still in shock and can't believe she is not here with me. I'd never even heard of renal lymphoma in cats. We only found out the previous Friday about the lymphoma. I was a mess at that time knowing we had at best a few weeks left with her. It turned out to be only 5 days.

Five days to say goodbye after 9 years of a deep, soul-mate relationship not many people are fortunate enough to have with an animal. Oh, the tears............

I had originally typed a much longer post of what all happened during that time, but I have a feeling you all will know without my blathering on about every painful detail.

How do we go on after something like this?? I miss her more than words can say but am comforted by the fact that there are others, you, who know this awful pain. The hardest times of day for me are first thing in the morning, coming home from work in the evening, and going to bed. We had funny little routines for each of those....

I've read many posts here and cried at the heartache we all share. I find comfort in the thought that all of our precious companions are together at the Rainbow Bridge.

kim

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost a sweet kitty. My Opie passed away in March and I am still a mess. It is a very difficult thing to deal with.
What I can tell you is, you do feel a bit better in time. The routines fade and the pain lessens as you start new routines.
Please take comfort in the fact that you gave your kitty a good life. I know it is so painful. I am so very sorry.

Hi Kim,
I am so sorry to hear about you losing your precious baby, Sadie. Over 5 months ago now, I lost my baby too. Her name was Cleo and similar to your story, Cleo was diagnosed with a rare disease (IMHA) at the age of 8. After desperately trying to save her life through treatment (which seemed to work at first), 3 months later after being diagnosed (on her 9th birthday), she passed away. It was so sudden and I was at a complete and total loss knowing my baby passed away. The difficulty of losing a "child" of sorts is hard to understand and it seems really incomprehensible to live without our babies. Even after 5 months, I still try to look for answers.

But, it does get better.

Right now, the shock of it all is wearing on you. I am sure right now that everywhere you turn you see your Sadie. Just know that even though she is physically no longer with you, she is with you in spirit. I am sure that our pets are watching over us. Although it seems unfair and the pain is unbearable, you need to know that Sadie is no longer in pain and is in fact in a better place. You obviously loved her like no other person could, so be comforted in the fact that you gave her a great life and she was lucky to have you.

As time moves on, I still cry about Cleo all the time. I truly do miss her, but I live through all the wonderful memories we shared and I treasure those more than anything. I constantly think how lucky I was to be her mom. I know you feel the same about Sadie.

One day, when this life passes us by, you will be reunited with Sadie and it will be the most happiest of times again.

I hope you are able to find some peace soon,
Christine

First of all, let me offer my condolences on the lost of your kitty. Losing a pet is never easy, but when it comes so suddenly with so little warning it's especially difficult.

As far as how to deal with it, grieving is a very personal experience and process that differs for each person. The one universal truth to it, though, is you can't hold it in. If you have to cry, cry. If you have to scream, scream. It helps if you have family, friends and co-workers who understand how much losing a pet hurts but if you have the misfortune to get anyone saying "get over it, it's just a cat" tell them "since you obviously don't love animals like I do you have no idea what the pain of losing one is like, and if you can't say something supportive I'd appreciate it if you kept your comments to yourself."

Eventually, the tears will lessen and when you think of Sadie you'll smile, with maybe a silent tear rolling down your face, but as for how long that will take, there's no easy way to say. It will take as long as it takes. When I lost Winston in July within a week the raw pain of his death was gone, but I am the kind of person that processes loss very quickly. It could take you less time, it could take you more time... it will take as long as it has to.

Fortunately, you've come to the right place for support. We all love our pets and all are bonded by the shared experience of losing one. You won't find judgment here... just people who want to help others get through the pain of a lost pet. Welcome to our family, and please let us know how you're doing.

Clay

Dear Kim

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear Sadie. I send my heartfelt condolences and a big HUG to help you through the dreadful pain.
Please come back and let us know how you are, and if you feel able, we would love to hear more about Sadie and maybe see a photo.

Thinking of you

Jan and my Angels and Pixie

Dear Kim,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss of your dear Sadie and my condolences are with you during this hard and sad time. I know the loss and pain that you are feeling because I too lost my beloved dog Lukas over a month ago. My prayers are with you and please keep us posted as to how you are doing.

MommyluvsuLukas

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It must be really hard that it all happened so suddenly. My kitty had kidney problems for years and I thought he would snap back once more but things just escalated at the end. I did not think I could handle it at all or be able carry on without him but eventually it does ease. Right now it is still so new to you-you were not even anticipating it like many of us so the shock is there too. All I can say is just take it one day at a time and try to be good to yourself at this time.

Hi, Kim, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Sadie. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. I, too, know the loss of a precious kitty due to renal Lymphoma. My number one kitty son, Eli, joined the angels on December 11, 2006, 4 months after undergoing surgery that included removing his right kidney that was fully involved. I think the only reason why we had 4 months was because I did elect palliative chemo treatments for 6 weeks, but that was only because I was in such a state of shock that I followed the advice of the treating vet. As Eli had always done in his healthy life, he taught me some very valuable lessons during his illness, and when my beautiful 6 year old kitty daughter Abbygayle was diagnosed with end stage Fibrosarcoma last year in July 2009 I did NOT follow up with chemo post-surgery.

Unfortunately our beloved companions' physical bodies are subject to the same illnesses that our human bodies are. Cancer is a very incidious disease that by the time symptoms are presenting themselves the disease more times than not has established itself.

You ask how to go on after the loss of a beloved companion. It is a very hard journey for sure, Kim, that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes from one moment at a time to the next moment. It has always amazed me at how life continues on - - it doesn't skip a beat. Decisions have to be made, bills have to be paid, jobs have to get done, laundry needs to be cleaned. groceries need to be bought - - and all of it seems so senseless - - so meaningless. The very physical presence that made EVERYTHING worthwhile is now physically missing - - is now with the angels - - and we so desperately want to be with them instead of continuing on this meaningless earthly journey without their sweet physical bodies.

Kim, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will have on this side of eternity. It is one of adjusting to the loss of the physical presence that brought us so much joy - - our beloved companions. But hopefully in time you will come to embrace Sadie's sweet Living Spirit that is forever with you in your heart and memories, and you will come to know that she is still sharing your life now just as she always has and always will until it is your appropriate time to join her in eternal joy.

Kim, one of the many important things for you to remember right now and throughout your grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. I know there are no adequate words that can comfort your broken heart, but hopefully knowing you are among friends here will offer you comfort and encourgement, support, and hope as you travel through your grief journey.

Kim, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kim, I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty Sadie. You have come to the right place, everyone here knows the heartache, pain, and we all share that deep love for our pets....and yes...the tears. How do we get through this? Well....time. It's been 2 months since I said goodbye to Daisy and it hasnt been easy...but everyone's grief process is different.

The little routines, how I loved those (and miss them terribly). Those routines were my life, as I imagine they were yours too. I dont have any more furbabies at home so it has left me dazed and confused. But you will find comfort here from some the most compassionate people you will ever meet.

Please let us know how you are doing. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Annette

Thank you all for your comforting words. I'm at the point now where although it's only been a week since Sadie has been gone, it feels like an eternity. Like all of you, I would do anything to touch her again, love on her. The same day we said goodbye, I put all of her things away....bed, bowls, toys, pictures....because seeing them was too painful. But seeing those places empty is almost as bad...my eyes just fall on those places naturally, and she's not there, and I feel the stab in my heart.

We loved her so, and she in turn adored us. She was always at her happiest when all 3 of us were just hanging out at home. If one of us were gone for longer than several hours, such as going out of town, she would jump at every little noise, hoping that mommy or daddy had come home. These things sound silly to people who don't understand. Yes, this is a cat I'm talking about!

This morning was another hard one. In that twilight in between waking and sleep, I swear I felt her on the bed next to me, like she always was. Then I woke up....

Oh, all of our broken hearts and missing babies....

Thank you again.

Kim

Hi, Kim, you know - - you can put some of Sadie's things back out if you find that it's harder not having anything out. Just select a few items that will help bridge the adjustment to Sadie's physical absence.

Kim, it's not uncommon to have an experience like what you describe - - your precious Sadie being on the bed with you. Some have heard barks, meows, grunts, grinding teeth, etc., from their precious angels. I, too, have experienced a few of them, and it's very comforitng.

Oh, I can so well relate to your Sadie's anticipation of your return home. I have been blessed with the same anticipation from both my kitty and canine furkids throughout my life. When I get home now, my kitty son Noah is up on the dining room table meowing before I even get through the garage door greeting me. So, yes, I do so share your wonderful memory of your precious Sadie.

And Kim, your Sadie is still there with you, but she no longer has to wait for you or your husband to return home - - for she is sharing your lives in real time wherever you are and whatever you're doing. And she can be with the both of you at the same time now. She is no longer confined to the physical laws of time and space - - for her sweet Living Spirit is with the both of you.

Kim, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will have on this side of eternity. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful memory of your precious Sadie with us, Kim. The more we share of our lives with our beloved companions will continue to nurture the eternal bond of love we are blessed to have with them until it is our appropriate time to join them in eternal joy.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Kim, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I do "okay" until I get home from work in the evening. I walk in the door, and she's not there. It KILLS me....the house is so empty.....she'd be right there, MEOWing, rubbing, as if to say "Where the HELL have you been???" and I'd pick her up and love her and call her my Silly Girl. This is one of my favorite photos of her (we took hundreds, of course) because it captures the sweetness in her face and soul:

Hi, Kim, what a beautiful kitty your Sadie girl is - - and I do mean "is" because she is now in her beautiful angel body no longer bound by the frailities of her earthly physical body. I do so know what you mean about the picture capturing the sweetness of her face and soul. This picture of your Sadie reminds me so o o much of my favorite picture of my precious Abbygayle (you can see her picture on my post Abbygayle's Journey if you'd like).

I do so know what you mean about your home being so quiet - - the sound of silence is deafening, isn't it? I can well imagine that sometimes it feels as if the house itself is mourning the physical loss of your precious Sadie. This grief "adjustment" journey sometimes feels so impossible to endure the brokenness of our hearts without the physical presence of our beloved companions.

Kim, some folks have found it helpful to keep a journal of their thoughts and feelings - - memories of their precious companions. Some folks find it helpful to do a memory scrapbook or a video / slide show of favorite pictures, etc.. Some folks do a memorial garden, some folks raise money for their local shelters and donate it in honor of the loving memory of their beloved companions. Perhaps in time you may think of a way that will help you to honor the treasured memories you have of your precious Sadie. For me, it has always been helpful to do a project that helps me to focus on my beloved companions' lives with me, and to share it with others who will appreciate it as well.

Kim, thank you again so o o o much for sharing the picture of your beautiful Sadie with us. I hope in time you will come to feel her sweet Living Spirit forever with you. Remember, Kim, she was an "angel in waiting" before she got her earthly assignment of becoming your precious Sadie. Now you have the blessing of holding her close to your heart and memories - - for you are and forever will be her mom. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Kim, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I just lost my companion, my buddy Carver on Oct. 8th. It was a real blow and although I have other cats, none will ever be the special friend to me that Carver became. I like you do not understand why this one was taken from me and I cannot even imagine life without him. I am worried too about his sister, Charlotte, who also seems to be grieving. She does not know of life without her brother Carver.

I have other cats, why was this very very special one taken from me?