Hi all! We got our yellow lab Roxy when she was 6 weeks old, and she's almost 13 and a half now...down to 80 lbs from 95 lbs about a year ago. Unfortunately, her body is starting to give up on her and she has two large masses on her chest which are beginning to get bed sores. One lump is the size of a cantelope. We've had a few lumps removed over the years (one of which was malignant) but she is now too old to go through another surgery. She can sometimes get up on her own, but other times she needs a little lift. She has had hip displaysia since she was 2 and is now developing severe arthritis in her hind legs (feet are starting to curl forward when she walks). We have a harness for her hindquarters and I help her outside a few times a day so she can go. She is constantly trying to lick her sores, so she's wearing one of those elizabethian collars practically 24/7. Sometimes her breathing is labored, but she has always been a bit of a panter...even when she was younger. She is on pain medication, thyroid meds, and Cosequin. She spends most almost all of her time laying on her bed or moving back and forth between her bed and a comfortor on the floor. We feed her when she's laying down. I know her quality of life is not great, but she still eats her food, wags her tail and responds pretty well to us. We just brought her to the vet yesterday to get his opinion and it was strongly recommended that she be put down due to her condition. I guess we don't see the changes day to day but he noticed a huge decline since our last visit 6-9 months or so ago. She is all we have for family (no kids) and she is truly loved. We've always done everything we can for her all of her life, no exceptions.
I know it is going to be a rough decision, but I think the vet is probably seeing more clearly than we are right now. How do you know for sure when it's time to say goodbye? I think we're going through pre-loss bereavement because we've shed many tears thinking about this decision. It's more difficult than we ever imagined. I know most of you have unfortunately gone through this, but for a slowly deteriorating pet, was there ever a definite sign that prompted you to make the appointment? Thanks for any insight...and thanks for this invaluable forum!
Full Version: When Do You Know For Sure It's Time To Let Go?
Dear BooBoo
My heart goes out to you and I so understand what you are going through right now with your precious Roxy.
I had exactly the same with my darling Tasha, who has now been at the Rainbow Bridge coming up for 5 years next February.
She was almost 14 when we had to make the decision to let her find peace, and even though it broke my heart to have to call the vet, I know in that shattered heart that it was the kindest thing to do for that darling girl. She was doing pretty much the same things that you describe for your Roxy. Lying down practically all of the time, having to be helped up, but still feeding (by hand) and wagging her tail. She was on Insulin twice daily and was blind through the diabetes she had for the last 7 years of her life. I kept putting off the decision and friends and family were saying, it's time, Jan, but still I let her carry on, she still seemed to have that Tasha 'spark' until one fateful Saturday morning, I just looked at her and realised that it would be kinder to let my sweet darling go. She had been my life. Words can't express how much I love that beautiful girl. Something just told me that day, I can't explain what it was, but I think you will know in your heart when the time is 'right' for your darling. It's never 'right' for us but its our precious fur babies who we have to think about. Sometimes I feel that I might have let her carry on maybe too long... oh it is not going to be easy for you, but you will know in your heart, I'm sure.
The vet came to our house and my Tasha was in her favourite place by my sofa, surrounded by her family. The vet let me hug her all the time, and it was just as if she went to sleep, very peacefully.
Please know that I am thinking of you and I send my prayers for you all. Your Roxy will always be a part of you, as I know my Tasha is, and subsequently my Noushka, who joined Tasha this time last year, but quite suddenly, and all alone at the vets. Something that I cannot forgive myself for. I just wish I could have been with her, she was also 13.
Please come back here and let us know how you and your dear Roxy are. There are so many people here who will offer help, and who understand.
Hugs Jan and my Angels and Pixie x
My heart goes out to you and I so understand what you are going through right now with your precious Roxy.
I had exactly the same with my darling Tasha, who has now been at the Rainbow Bridge coming up for 5 years next February.
She was almost 14 when we had to make the decision to let her find peace, and even though it broke my heart to have to call the vet, I know in that shattered heart that it was the kindest thing to do for that darling girl. She was doing pretty much the same things that you describe for your Roxy. Lying down practically all of the time, having to be helped up, but still feeding (by hand) and wagging her tail. She was on Insulin twice daily and was blind through the diabetes she had for the last 7 years of her life. I kept putting off the decision and friends and family were saying, it's time, Jan, but still I let her carry on, she still seemed to have that Tasha 'spark' until one fateful Saturday morning, I just looked at her and realised that it would be kinder to let my sweet darling go. She had been my life. Words can't express how much I love that beautiful girl. Something just told me that day, I can't explain what it was, but I think you will know in your heart when the time is 'right' for your darling. It's never 'right' for us but its our precious fur babies who we have to think about. Sometimes I feel that I might have let her carry on maybe too long... oh it is not going to be easy for you, but you will know in your heart, I'm sure.
The vet came to our house and my Tasha was in her favourite place by my sofa, surrounded by her family. The vet let me hug her all the time, and it was just as if she went to sleep, very peacefully.
Please know that I am thinking of you and I send my prayers for you all. Your Roxy will always be a part of you, as I know my Tasha is, and subsequently my Noushka, who joined Tasha this time last year, but quite suddenly, and all alone at the vets. Something that I cannot forgive myself for. I just wish I could have been with her, she was also 13.
Please come back here and let us know how you and your dear Roxy are. There are so many people here who will offer help, and who understand.
Hugs Jan and my Angels and Pixie x
BooBoo...........
I think you are in the most difficult part of this process we must go through for our special family members. We sort of know it's time but they really don't seem like they are ready. Like you said, you don't see the changes being with them daily while the Vet can see a significant difference. Them being unable to outright say I'm ready like we humans can is what adds to this heartwrenching time.
I would hope that your Vet is giving you the best advise he/she can regarding Roxy's condition. Different Vet's have a different way of helping you with this decision. I guess like human Doctors they have a different "bedside manner". Your Vet must know your Roxy well enough to know she may be struggling.
I've been where you are and I honestly believe it is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Like you, I got my Flossie at 6 weeks. What a spunky little thing she was from the begining and that is what kept her going through many tough times in her 17-1/2 years. My family told me for at least a year that I was going to need to make a decision soon. I just knew she had that spunk to keep on going and she was not in pain so we trucked along. Once she began to have seizures every 2-4 weeks and did some "wandering" I began to come to terms. The last month the back legs really gave her trouble. Her severe back problem at 3-1/2 was a miracle she recoverd from. But now she was like a bucking horse most of the time and had trouble going to the bathroom as the legs gave out and she became very cranky with me holding her underneath the tummy so she wouldn't just fall down. She only had 1 kidney left & I was getting up in the night (setting an alarm even) to take her out as that was also presenting problems now.
Took me almost that whole month to decide, I called for information on having her cremated as we were not where our long time vet was and a much smaller town where facilities for cremation are not local. Then it took another week to get the courage to make the appointment. I wanted to go as late as possible on the day before they transported the pets to be cremated. Boy did I ever drag this out.....
I can so relate to your feelings right now. Difficult as it may be... you will find the strength because you love her so much. Heartbreaking as it is I found this much more comforting and peaceful than when I waited too long for a cat who died on my lap 1 block away from the Vet's office. She suffered and so did I for a very long time after that. I vowed never again would I wait too long. I loved my Flossie too much for that. She had the courage to pull through 3 major surgeries & other serious problems, medication for several years, special foods so I HAD to find the courage to do this for her.
The joy of having had her in your life for all these years will eventually outweigh the sadness of letting her go. I still cry after almost 2 years but I also laugh when remembering some of the good times we had. You will too..........................
Thinking of your during this very, very difficult time........ we are all here for you.
I think you are in the most difficult part of this process we must go through for our special family members. We sort of know it's time but they really don't seem like they are ready. Like you said, you don't see the changes being with them daily while the Vet can see a significant difference. Them being unable to outright say I'm ready like we humans can is what adds to this heartwrenching time.
I would hope that your Vet is giving you the best advise he/she can regarding Roxy's condition. Different Vet's have a different way of helping you with this decision. I guess like human Doctors they have a different "bedside manner". Your Vet must know your Roxy well enough to know she may be struggling.
I've been where you are and I honestly believe it is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Like you, I got my Flossie at 6 weeks. What a spunky little thing she was from the begining and that is what kept her going through many tough times in her 17-1/2 years. My family told me for at least a year that I was going to need to make a decision soon. I just knew she had that spunk to keep on going and she was not in pain so we trucked along. Once she began to have seizures every 2-4 weeks and did some "wandering" I began to come to terms. The last month the back legs really gave her trouble. Her severe back problem at 3-1/2 was a miracle she recoverd from. But now she was like a bucking horse most of the time and had trouble going to the bathroom as the legs gave out and she became very cranky with me holding her underneath the tummy so she wouldn't just fall down. She only had 1 kidney left & I was getting up in the night (setting an alarm even) to take her out as that was also presenting problems now.
Took me almost that whole month to decide, I called for information on having her cremated as we were not where our long time vet was and a much smaller town where facilities for cremation are not local. Then it took another week to get the courage to make the appointment. I wanted to go as late as possible on the day before they transported the pets to be cremated. Boy did I ever drag this out.....
I can so relate to your feelings right now. Difficult as it may be... you will find the strength because you love her so much. Heartbreaking as it is I found this much more comforting and peaceful than when I waited too long for a cat who died on my lap 1 block away from the Vet's office. She suffered and so did I for a very long time after that. I vowed never again would I wait too long. I loved my Flossie too much for that. She had the courage to pull through 3 major surgeries & other serious problems, medication for several years, special foods so I HAD to find the courage to do this for her.
The joy of having had her in your life for all these years will eventually outweigh the sadness of letting her go. I still cry after almost 2 years but I also laugh when remembering some of the good times we had. You will too..........................
Thinking of your during this very, very difficult time........ we are all here for you.
BooBoo,
I am so sorry that you are going thru this. I decided to put my soul mate Callaway down over a year ago and it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Callaway was having a lot of the same issues that Roxy is having and he was still eating. What finally helped me make the decision was when I came home from work and he was laying in a pool of urine. I had him euthanized the next day but I wish I would have thought it thru more. It was probably the right time but I wish I would have just waited a few days to wrap my head around the whole thing. My advice to you is to just think it thru carefully, which I think you have. You have talked to your vet which is one thing I wish I would have done before making the decision. What I wanted to know was that it was the definitely the right time, but we never really know, we just have to think with our hearts and make the hardest decision we have ever had to make. Remember that when you do make the decision that you are doing it out of pure love for Roxie and setting your own feelings aside, which is the kindest thing that you can do and the last gift you can give Roxie.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love to you and Roxie,
Rhapsedy
I am so sorry that you are going thru this. I decided to put my soul mate Callaway down over a year ago and it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Callaway was having a lot of the same issues that Roxy is having and he was still eating. What finally helped me make the decision was when I came home from work and he was laying in a pool of urine. I had him euthanized the next day but I wish I would have thought it thru more. It was probably the right time but I wish I would have just waited a few days to wrap my head around the whole thing. My advice to you is to just think it thru carefully, which I think you have. You have talked to your vet which is one thing I wish I would have done before making the decision. What I wanted to know was that it was the definitely the right time, but we never really know, we just have to think with our hearts and make the hardest decision we have ever had to make. Remember that when you do make the decision that you are doing it out of pure love for Roxie and setting your own feelings aside, which is the kindest thing that you can do and the last gift you can give Roxie.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love to you and Roxie,
Rhapsedy
Booboo, I hate this for you. I know how hard your situation is right now. We had to put our yellow lab, Buck, to sleep in June. He was 11 1/2. His condition was very similar to your Roxy's. (Ironically, we called him Booboo as a nickname).
I wish I could give you a definitive answer and I hate that you can only find your answer by going through this. I understand all too well pre-bereavement. We lost all 3 of our babies this year and each one was sick for awhile with us having to make day to day decisions and playing all the what-ifs. I worried so much and grieved so much about them dying that I didn't even prepare for after they were gone. It's been difficult, to say the least.
Buck was also in kidney failure and as odd as it sounds, I was glad for that because I didn't want to have to put him down because of his hips or the growing masses on his body. It just didn't seem right to put him to sleep just because he couldn't walk as well anymore. I needed there to be something more, you know? But at any rate, for us, the decision came when he couldn't get up hardly at all. He spent his last day at the vets checking his kidneys & trying one last effort at fluids. He didn't urinate at all and that was the worst sign but by the end of the day, he couldn't get up on his own. In his case, it was time to let him go with his dignity. But the deciding factor was that the failure of his kidneys would have put him in painful circumstances very soon.
I wish I could help you with Roxy. Like you, we did everything we could for Buck his whole life to make sure he was the happiest dog he could be. We would have gone to the ends of the earth to save him but we couldn't turn back time - not for him or our 2 cats who were 15.
Please keep letting us know what's going on. This is the best place to come to have your hand held and to be hugged. No one knows what you're going through like the people on this forum. And they never get tired of hearing from you. My heart goes out to you. I know I haven't given you any sense of an answer and I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that we know your agony and your deep despair.
-Donna
I would like to add that I just read over Flossie's Mom's reply to you and I too am so glad that we were able to put Buck to sleep and not wait until it happened on it's own. Our cat, Niles, didn't make it until the vet got here and he struggled more than he deserved. I never ever thought I'd say this, but I'm glad we were able to put Buck and Frasier to sleep. I never understood what people meant by saying it was the last and most unselfish gift you can give them. Now I understand. I'm not telling you to rush it, I just wanted to let you know that while you're wrestling with whether to do it, you can find peace about it later.
I wish I could give you a definitive answer and I hate that you can only find your answer by going through this. I understand all too well pre-bereavement. We lost all 3 of our babies this year and each one was sick for awhile with us having to make day to day decisions and playing all the what-ifs. I worried so much and grieved so much about them dying that I didn't even prepare for after they were gone. It's been difficult, to say the least.
Buck was also in kidney failure and as odd as it sounds, I was glad for that because I didn't want to have to put him down because of his hips or the growing masses on his body. It just didn't seem right to put him to sleep just because he couldn't walk as well anymore. I needed there to be something more, you know? But at any rate, for us, the decision came when he couldn't get up hardly at all. He spent his last day at the vets checking his kidneys & trying one last effort at fluids. He didn't urinate at all and that was the worst sign but by the end of the day, he couldn't get up on his own. In his case, it was time to let him go with his dignity. But the deciding factor was that the failure of his kidneys would have put him in painful circumstances very soon.
I wish I could help you with Roxy. Like you, we did everything we could for Buck his whole life to make sure he was the happiest dog he could be. We would have gone to the ends of the earth to save him but we couldn't turn back time - not for him or our 2 cats who were 15.
Please keep letting us know what's going on. This is the best place to come to have your hand held and to be hugged. No one knows what you're going through like the people on this forum. And they never get tired of hearing from you. My heart goes out to you. I know I haven't given you any sense of an answer and I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that we know your agony and your deep despair.
-Donna
I would like to add that I just read over Flossie's Mom's reply to you and I too am so glad that we were able to put Buck to sleep and not wait until it happened on it's own. Our cat, Niles, didn't make it until the vet got here and he struggled more than he deserved. I never ever thought I'd say this, but I'm glad we were able to put Buck and Frasier to sleep. I never understood what people meant by saying it was the last and most unselfish gift you can give them. Now I understand. I'm not telling you to rush it, I just wanted to let you know that while you're wrestling with whether to do it, you can find peace about it later.
I'm so sorry you have to struggle with this choice, BooBoo.
I think the decision on when it's time to let a furbaby go is a very personal one and depends on you and the pet... does it appear that she's in pain? Can she still do the things she loves to do?
Once it gets to the point that your buddy is just existing and not living, it's time to consider letting her go... at that point you're keeping her alive for your own reasons and not her's. After so many years of faithful companionship, your Roxy deserves to pass on peacefully, with you petting her, looking into her eyes and letting her know what a good dog she is.
Please let us know how this turns out for you... you're in my thoughts during this time.
I think the decision on when it's time to let a furbaby go is a very personal one and depends on you and the pet... does it appear that she's in pain? Can she still do the things she loves to do?
Once it gets to the point that your buddy is just existing and not living, it's time to consider letting her go... at that point you're keeping her alive for your own reasons and not her's. After so many years of faithful companionship, your Roxy deserves to pass on peacefully, with you petting her, looking into her eyes and letting her know what a good dog she is.
Please let us know how this turns out for you... you're in my thoughts during this time.
Oh, how sad a time it is for your family, and all of us can feel your pain! I think this is one of the most difficult decisions any us can make. The Vet can tell you all the medical stuff, but the decision is really, whether we allow our loved one to die "naturally", in pain. They love us so much that they will endure terrible pain to be with us. You have the opportunity to allow Roxy to go, no longer struggling, with all those who love her opening the door.
How will you know? Well, I think you may be able to tell by the expression on her face, perhaps the furrowed brow, or obvious signs of deterioration. I think it is more though: her spirit may just seem to be waning, fading away. You can discuss it with the Vet and of course with your family, but it is never easy.
Trust in your judgement and your heart. Roxy does.
How will you know? Well, I think you may be able to tell by the expression on her face, perhaps the furrowed brow, or obvious signs of deterioration. I think it is more though: her spirit may just seem to be waning, fading away. You can discuss it with the Vet and of course with your family, but it is never easy.
Trust in your judgement and your heart. Roxy does.
Booboo, I just thought of something that may help you. As you've said, it's hard when we see someone everyday to recognize the changes yet someone who isn't with them all the time like your vet can see it. We took some pictures of Buck just days before we had to put him to sleep. I thought he looked like himself. I posted one on this forum and someone commented on his stance and then I realized there was a change. I compared those pictures to ones taken just a little while back and I could see it - the expression, the physical strain. It certainly wasn't the final decision-maker for me but it helped me when it was time. It was like evidence I needed to have filed in my mind. Maybe this will help you, maybe not but I do hope that you will reach your decision with peace.
-Donna
-Donna
Hi, Booboo, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in your Anticipatory Grief about your precious Roxy's health. There isn't much I can add as you have received excellent suggestions from all the responders before me, and as you will receive after my post. Donna's suggestion about taking pictures and comparing them is an excellent idea. When it comes to making the actual decision, though, only you can make that. Unfortunately our beloved companions' physical bodies are not designed to live forever on this side of eternity. It doesn't make any difference how long we have been blessed with their company or what the circumstances are that physically separate us in our earhly journey - - we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more week, one more - - lifetime - - with them.
Booboo, I can so relate to the pain and grief you are going through right now, as I lost two of my furkids within 4 months of each other, my handsome 15 year old Black Lab, Oslo, and my beautiful 6 year old baby kitty girl, Abbygayle. And as much as we grieve in our hearts while we are trying to prepare ourselves for the inevitability of not having them physically with us, our grief takes on an entirely different journey after we no longer have their precious physical bodies with us.
Right now, Booboo, you need to focus on what is best for your precious Roxy - - as I know you already are. Euthanasia is the last gift of love that we can give to our precious companions - - at great sacrifice to us - - so that they can be released from their failing physical body and once again be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Booboo, I wish there was some way I could make this journey easier for you, but unfortunately I don't have that power. All I can offer you is my sincerest friendship and encouragement, and the promise that along with all the other wonderful responders on this forum, I, too, am here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Booboo, I can so relate to the pain and grief you are going through right now, as I lost two of my furkids within 4 months of each other, my handsome 15 year old Black Lab, Oslo, and my beautiful 6 year old baby kitty girl, Abbygayle. And as much as we grieve in our hearts while we are trying to prepare ourselves for the inevitability of not having them physically with us, our grief takes on an entirely different journey after we no longer have their precious physical bodies with us.
Right now, Booboo, you need to focus on what is best for your precious Roxy - - as I know you already are. Euthanasia is the last gift of love that we can give to our precious companions - - at great sacrifice to us - - so that they can be released from their failing physical body and once again be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Booboo, I wish there was some way I could make this journey easier for you, but unfortunately I don't have that power. All I can offer you is my sincerest friendship and encouragement, and the promise that along with all the other wonderful responders on this forum, I, too, am here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I want to thank you all for the heartfelt support and thoughtful replies. After another emotional day yesterday, we decided to order a few books on line to help us work through this difficult time. After reading some of the reviews on Amazon, I thought these might be helpful:
Final Farewell: Preparing for & Mourning the Loss of Your Pet
Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet
Cold Noses At The Pearly Gates
The Rainbow Bridge: Pet Loss Is Heaven's Gain
Has anyone had any experience with these titles?
We're keeping a close eye on Roxy and we're looking for a sign that will tell us she's ready. I think, some how, some way, she will let us know when it's time. As of right now, the medication seems to be keeping her relatively comfortable but we know the time is near and there's nothing we can do to stop it.
Final Farewell: Preparing for & Mourning the Loss of Your Pet
Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet
Cold Noses At The Pearly Gates
The Rainbow Bridge: Pet Loss Is Heaven's Gain
Has anyone had any experience with these titles?
We're keeping a close eye on Roxy and we're looking for a sign that will tell us she's ready. I think, some how, some way, she will let us know when it's time. As of right now, the medication seems to be keeping her relatively comfortable but we know the time is near and there's nothing we can do to stop it.
Dear Booboo
Thanks for letting us know how you and your Dear Roxy are. I am pleased that the medication is making her more comfortable, that is great. These days with her are so precious and I know that you will be loving her and caring for her and doing everything you can to keep her happy and comfortable.
I haven't read the books that you mentioned, but Amazon usually have a good 'reviews' section where you could possibly get some feedback on them.
You and your dear Roxy are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs Jan and My Angels and Pixie xx
Thanks for letting us know how you and your Dear Roxy are. I am pleased that the medication is making her more comfortable, that is great. These days with her are so precious and I know that you will be loving her and caring for her and doing everything you can to keep her happy and comfortable.
I haven't read the books that you mentioned, but Amazon usually have a good 'reviews' section where you could possibly get some feedback on them.
You and your dear Roxy are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs Jan and My Angels and Pixie xx
Hi, Booboo, like Jan I, too, am glad to know the medication is keeping your precious Roxy comfortable as you share these precious moments in your earthly journey together. I am familiar with the book titles, but not from reading them. However, I have heard from others who have read them that they have been helpful. And Jan made an excellent suggestion to read the reviews on Amazon, if any are posted.
Booboo, I know you are savoring every moment you have with your precious Roxy, as Roxy is savoring every moment she has with you as well. I know this is a very difficult time for you, but try to remember that it is only her physical body that will be leaving you. Your precious Roxy's sweet Living Spirit will always be with you in your heart and your memories. It's the adjustment to not having our precious babies' physical body with us that makes both the physical and emotional grief of separation so hard. But love knows no physicial boundaries. Love transcends both time and space, and the bond of love that we share with our precious beloved companions is eternal love that burns forever in our hearts and memories. So deep is this love bond that nothing, not even the dimming of our minds with age can diminish the love that warms our hearts.
Please know you and your precious Roxy are in my thoughts and prayers, Booboo, and please do let us know how you're doing and how things are going with your precious Roxy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Booboo, I know you are savoring every moment you have with your precious Roxy, as Roxy is savoring every moment she has with you as well. I know this is a very difficult time for you, but try to remember that it is only her physical body that will be leaving you. Your precious Roxy's sweet Living Spirit will always be with you in your heart and your memories. It's the adjustment to not having our precious babies' physical body with us that makes both the physical and emotional grief of separation so hard. But love knows no physicial boundaries. Love transcends both time and space, and the bond of love that we share with our precious beloved companions is eternal love that burns forever in our hearts and memories. So deep is this love bond that nothing, not even the dimming of our minds with age can diminish the love that warms our hearts.
Please know you and your precious Roxy are in my thoughts and prayers, Booboo, and please do let us know how you're doing and how things are going with your precious Roxy.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
BooBoo, I am sorry that you at this dreadful point. It is the most difficult choice we can make. I was where you were in January. On a message board asking when do you know it's time? My boy Chico's health and body was failing him, but he still had that spark. I wanted a definite sign. Truthfully, sometimes there isn't one thing that lets us know it's time.
People told me that "I would just know", or that Chico would let me know or give me a look. This never happened. It was June before I finally decided to let him go. He had been too swollen to walk for months, even his legs were swollen. I handfed him and brought his water to him. I picked him up to carry him out. I changed the bedding under him on the couch since he would have accidents. He was totally dependent on me. I loved that dog more than life and would have done this forever, as long as I thought he was comfortable.
But what made me realize that something had to be done was the day he growled and bit me when I tried to pick him up. I knew then that he was hurting too badly to even be moved. He would never normally bite me. He had hid his pain from me for such a long time. I couldn't bear to see him suffering.
A couple of weeks ago I got some pics developed that I took the last 2 months of Chico's life and I just broke down. I couldn't believe I could not see how sick he was. I could see the misery in his eyes. I just couldn't see it at the time. I really feel like I waited too long and allowed him to suffer longer than he should have. But our dogs are so good at hiding their pain and putting up a brave front for us.
I will keep you and Roxy in my thoughts and prayers. Just know that whatever decisions we make, we do so with absolute love for our pets. Our pets know this.
God bless,
Berta
People told me that "I would just know", or that Chico would let me know or give me a look. This never happened. It was June before I finally decided to let him go. He had been too swollen to walk for months, even his legs were swollen. I handfed him and brought his water to him. I picked him up to carry him out. I changed the bedding under him on the couch since he would have accidents. He was totally dependent on me. I loved that dog more than life and would have done this forever, as long as I thought he was comfortable.
But what made me realize that something had to be done was the day he growled and bit me when I tried to pick him up. I knew then that he was hurting too badly to even be moved. He would never normally bite me. He had hid his pain from me for such a long time. I couldn't bear to see him suffering.
A couple of weeks ago I got some pics developed that I took the last 2 months of Chico's life and I just broke down. I couldn't believe I could not see how sick he was. I could see the misery in his eyes. I just couldn't see it at the time. I really feel like I waited too long and allowed him to suffer longer than he should have. But our dogs are so good at hiding their pain and putting up a brave front for us.
I will keep you and Roxy in my thoughts and prayers. Just know that whatever decisions we make, we do so with absolute love for our pets. Our pets know this.
God bless,
Berta
Thank you all for the advice and kind words. Yesterday morning, we made the call to the vet to have him come to the house this coming Tuesday afternoon to euthanize Roxy. The past few days she has not been eating well and she is having more and more trouble getting up and moving from spot to spot. I think we are doing the right thing, but my mind has been troubled ever since the decision. I'm counting the hours before the deed is done and do not have peace in my heart. My wife and I have been crying all weekend. What can be done about such a terrible burden?
Oh, I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this 
I think you know deep down in your heart that you ARE doing the right thing. It really is true that putting our pets to sleep when they are suffering is the last unselfish gift that we can give them. Remember, unlike humans, our pets are not afraid of dying - but they are afraid of pain and suffering. You are easing your beautiful Roxy's journey to the Angels, where she will watch over you always. Enjoy every last minute you have left with her. Hold her close, and when you think you're done holding her, hold her some more.
My heart goes out to you. But we're all here to help you through.
Cheryl xx
I think you know deep down in your heart that you ARE doing the right thing. It really is true that putting our pets to sleep when they are suffering is the last unselfish gift that we can give them. Remember, unlike humans, our pets are not afraid of dying - but they are afraid of pain and suffering. You are easing your beautiful Roxy's journey to the Angels, where she will watch over you always. Enjoy every last minute you have left with her. Hold her close, and when you think you're done holding her, hold her some more. My heart goes out to you. But we're all here to help you through.
Cheryl xx
Hi, Booboo, the Anticipatory Grief is as emotionally paralyzing as what follows. If your heart is not at peace with this decision, can you share what is troubling you? You really do need to have some kind of peace in your heart and mind about this.
You and your wife need to focus on what is best for Roxy - - as I know you are doing - - but it is tremendously difficult to not separate yourselves from her, for she is very much a part of you. Stay focused on Roxy's quality of life. Obviously something has changed during these last weeks to have you come to realize that it is now Roxy's time to join the angels. Perhaps you and your wife can sit down together and write down all the things that Roxy used to be able to do and then all the things that she can no longer do. Sometimes seeing these things in black and white can help to confirm the decision you have made on Roxy's behalf.
And when the vet comes, have the vet do an exam first and ask him / her for an opinion. Only you can make the decision for Roxy, and whatever decision you make will be the best you can make at that time with the information you are given.
Booboo, thank you so much for sharing with us a picture of your precious Roxy, and for letting us know what is happening. Unfortunatetly there is no "easy" way through this painful journey. I so well know what you are going through counting the days, the hours, and then minutes. Please know you, your wife, and Roxy are in my thoughts and prayers, and am reaching out to you through the cyber miles sharing this time with you, and will be here for you for as long and as often as needed.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
You and your wife need to focus on what is best for Roxy - - as I know you are doing - - but it is tremendously difficult to not separate yourselves from her, for she is very much a part of you. Stay focused on Roxy's quality of life. Obviously something has changed during these last weeks to have you come to realize that it is now Roxy's time to join the angels. Perhaps you and your wife can sit down together and write down all the things that Roxy used to be able to do and then all the things that she can no longer do. Sometimes seeing these things in black and white can help to confirm the decision you have made on Roxy's behalf.
And when the vet comes, have the vet do an exam first and ask him / her for an opinion. Only you can make the decision for Roxy, and whatever decision you make will be the best you can make at that time with the information you are given.
Booboo, thank you so much for sharing with us a picture of your precious Roxy, and for letting us know what is happening. Unfortunatetly there is no "easy" way through this painful journey. I so well know what you are going through counting the days, the hours, and then minutes. Please know you, your wife, and Roxy are in my thoughts and prayers, and am reaching out to you through the cyber miles sharing this time with you, and will be here for you for as long and as often as needed.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Booboo, just checking in with you to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Since I don't know your time zone I'm not sure when "afternoon" is for you. At the time of this post to you it is almost 5:30 p.m. U.S. eastern daylight time.
I am hoping and praying that everything has gone smoothly for your precious Roxy, and that you and your wife are finding comfort in knowing that she is forever grateful to you for releasing her from her failing physical body. We will look forward to hearing from you whenever possible - - no rush - - only when you're up to writing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am hoping and praying that everything has gone smoothly for your precious Roxy, and that you and your wife are finding comfort in knowing that she is forever grateful to you for releasing her from her failing physical body. We will look forward to hearing from you whenever possible - - no rush - - only when you're up to writing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Well, yesterday at 12:50PM our beloved Roxy went to be with the Lord. She died peacefully on our back patio.
Leading up to her last hours here on earth, we were blessed with 4 incredibly beautiful days of weather. Warm and calm and perfect for sitting on the porch and spending time outside in the backyard. We spend as much time as possible with her in her final days, doing all the things she loved to do. The birds were chirping and autumn leaves were changing color. Although she had not been eating well over the past week, we made her two or three filet mignon steaks which she absolutely loved...acting like a 2 year old puppy again.
Yesterday was a very strange day and God was kind and gracious enough to send us a direct message that our decision was the right one...it was indeed her time to be at peace. We went out on the front porch like we usually do and my wife noticed a small dead chickadee behind one of the wicker tables. It has apparently flew into the window and broken it's neck. It was not there the day before. After I removed it and took it to the backyard she told me how sad it was that this poor bird died all alone by itself. My wife had been praying for God to take Roxy from us so we would not have to make the decision to put her down, but we now know in our hearts that this event with the bird, hours before Roxy was to be euthanized, was a direct message from Him that we had it all wrong and Roxy needed to be with us, with love all around her, as He took her to be with Him on this final day of her life. He knew we needed to know this so that our hearts would be at peace. Thank you Lord for your love and mercy.
Knowing that we did the right thing is a relief like no other. Although there is a huge empty hole in our hearts and our home now that Roxy has gone on to a better place, we at least can begin to heal. Time is on our side now, no longer working against us. God, give us the strength to carry on without our precious boo. She was an amazing gift and we thank you for the time she was able spend with us.
And thank you all for your unwavering support through this most difficult time.
Leading up to her last hours here on earth, we were blessed with 4 incredibly beautiful days of weather. Warm and calm and perfect for sitting on the porch and spending time outside in the backyard. We spend as much time as possible with her in her final days, doing all the things she loved to do. The birds were chirping and autumn leaves were changing color. Although she had not been eating well over the past week, we made her two or three filet mignon steaks which she absolutely loved...acting like a 2 year old puppy again.
Yesterday was a very strange day and God was kind and gracious enough to send us a direct message that our decision was the right one...it was indeed her time to be at peace. We went out on the front porch like we usually do and my wife noticed a small dead chickadee behind one of the wicker tables. It has apparently flew into the window and broken it's neck. It was not there the day before. After I removed it and took it to the backyard she told me how sad it was that this poor bird died all alone by itself. My wife had been praying for God to take Roxy from us so we would not have to make the decision to put her down, but we now know in our hearts that this event with the bird, hours before Roxy was to be euthanized, was a direct message from Him that we had it all wrong and Roxy needed to be with us, with love all around her, as He took her to be with Him on this final day of her life. He knew we needed to know this so that our hearts would be at peace. Thank you Lord for your love and mercy.
Knowing that we did the right thing is a relief like no other. Although there is a huge empty hole in our hearts and our home now that Roxy has gone on to a better place, we at least can begin to heal. Time is on our side now, no longer working against us. God, give us the strength to carry on without our precious boo. She was an amazing gift and we thank you for the time she was able spend with us.
And thank you all for your unwavering support through this most difficult time.
Booboo,
Everything you said in your post in spot on! You definately did the right thing for your precious Roxy, and it does indeed seem like God sent you a message to confirm this. You showed a great act of love, by being there to help guide her to her journey to the Angels. She is now watching over you, ever so grateful, for all that you've done for her during her life on this Earth. She will always be with you. Love cannot die. We are all her for you, thinking of you, to help you through this grief journey you are now embarking on.
Be gentle on yourself, and don't be afraid to show your emotions.
Cheryl xx
Everything you said in your post in spot on! You definately did the right thing for your precious Roxy, and it does indeed seem like God sent you a message to confirm this. You showed a great act of love, by being there to help guide her to her journey to the Angels. She is now watching over you, ever so grateful, for all that you've done for her during her life on this Earth. She will always be with you. Love cannot die. We are all her for you, thinking of you, to help you through this grief journey you are now embarking on.
Be gentle on yourself, and don't be afraid to show your emotions.
Cheryl xx
That is one content, happy looking dog. She was very fortunate that she had such a loving, caring family.
I'm so sorry for your loss... you're in my thoughts during this difficult time.
I'm so sorry for your loss... you're in my thoughts during this difficult time.
Dear BooBoo
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife and your precious Angel Roxy. Now look after yourselves as your beloved Roxy will wish. She will be watching over you now, and as Cheryl said so beautifully, with you forever, as love knows no boundaries.
The photographs are so lovely, and show us a truly happy and beloved fur baby. Please post some more when you feel able.
Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife and your precious Angel Roxy. Now look after yourselves as your beloved Roxy will wish. She will be watching over you now, and as Cheryl said so beautifully, with you forever, as love knows no boundaries.
The photographs are so lovely, and show us a truly happy and beloved fur baby. Please post some more when you feel able.
Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie
Hi, Booboo, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Roxy. Now the Anticipatory Grief journey is transformed to adjusting your lives to embracing your precious Roxy's sweet Living Spirit that is forever with you wherever you go and whatever you do.
I am so o o o o glad God brought to you the peace and comfort to your hearts about making the right decision to ease your precious Roxy's journey to the angels. And how wonderful it is that she was able to transition her journey in the place she loved the most - - her home surrounded by love and the things that brought joy to her earthly journey with you and your wife.
Thank you so much for sharing the wonderful picture of your precious Roxy with us, Booboo. The saying, "A picture paints a thousand words" is certainly true - - for this picture, amonjg all the others you have of your precious Roxy confirms the love you and your wife have for her, and this love continues on even now, for love knows no physical boundaries of time and space.
I am also glad you are feeling a release from the agony of the days and hours leading to Roxy's journey to the angels. This is quite natural. However, this grief journey is filled with so many ups, downs, twists, turns, and turn arounds that can hit us when we least expect it. Please remember that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Booboo.
And please know that you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing wheenver possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so o o o o glad God brought to you the peace and comfort to your hearts about making the right decision to ease your precious Roxy's journey to the angels. And how wonderful it is that she was able to transition her journey in the place she loved the most - - her home surrounded by love and the things that brought joy to her earthly journey with you and your wife.
Thank you so much for sharing the wonderful picture of your precious Roxy with us, Booboo. The saying, "A picture paints a thousand words" is certainly true - - for this picture, amonjg all the others you have of your precious Roxy confirms the love you and your wife have for her, and this love continues on even now, for love knows no physical boundaries of time and space.
I am also glad you are feeling a release from the agony of the days and hours leading to Roxy's journey to the angels. This is quite natural. However, this grief journey is filled with so many ups, downs, twists, turns, and turn arounds that can hit us when we least expect it. Please remember that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Booboo.
And please know that you and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing wheenver possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
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