Hi everyone...

I lost my wonderful kitty of 17 years last Wednesday. Over the last few years we've made heroic efforts (thanks to my wonderful vet, Dr. Smith of Central Texas Cat Hospital) to retain her health through massive liver and kidney issues. Last Wednesday, it was her time. She crashed badly over the weekend, was yellow and could hardly walk. I will never forget my vet examining her, telling me "it's time"...I was with her at the end, telling her I loved her. I will never forget her little lifeless body laying there, never again to kiss me (she would shove her nose in my mouth for kisses), never again to bite my chin in love. It hurts so much. I cry every day. She was the love of my life, been with me through many cross country moves, failed relationships, she was my rock.

I picked up her remains two days ago; I had her cremated. That night, I had a dream in which she appeared healthy and whole and happy. Sadly in my dream I didn't realize she had died and it was just like usual: I picked her up and put her down in my dream. I fully believe she appeared to me because her remains were now home with me.

Then last night I had horrible dreams about her. She was skinny and sick and had an accident in which her paw was severed just below the wrist. Her little hand was laying there next to her body. It was horrible.

I know they visit us in our dreams and I am hoping that the dreams of last night were coming from my brain, not from her. It was horrible.

Anyone else dream, good or bad, about your lost furbabies? Any words of wisdom?

I am so sorry that you lost your cat... it sounds like she was a huge part of your life and had 17 of the happiest, most love-filled years any cat could ever hope for.

I do believe that our pets will visit us in our dreams, when we need them to. I've never been visited by Winston, but I don't consider that a bad thing; I just take it to mean that he knows I've come to terms with what happened to him and he's busy running through tall grass, like he always loved to do.

The nightmares are just your brain dealing with a huge loss. It's not your furbaby visiting you specifically to give you those dreams... she loved you so much, why would she want you to be unhappy? It's the good dreams you need to focus on; those where she comes back to you, even if just for a few minutes, to remind you of how much she loved you.

I hope that my answers put your mind somewhat at ease; some of my fellow pet lovers will be along shortly and I'm sure they'll all share their experiences with you.

Please let us know how you're doing... we're all here for you during your grief journey.

-Clay

Hi, MissMyRosie, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Rosie. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. This grief journey is a very painful one - - both physically and emotionally, particularly in the early deep grief stages. Our beloved companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely. When they precede us from this side of eternity, they take the part of us that belongs only to them with them, and this is one of the many reasons why this grief journey is so painful, and why we feel like we have a lost a part of ourselves with their physical absence.

I totally agree with what Clay has said to you, including about your dreams. The first dream was Rosie letting you know that she's happy in heaven's perfect garden and that you don't need to worry about her anymore - - she is restored to her former youthfulness. The horrible nightmare you had was a reflection of the deep sadness and grief you have in your heart and mind right now. While nightmares can leave you with a very uneasy and eerie feeling for awhile, Clay is right on when he says to focus on your happy dreams, because these are coming to you from Rosie sharing her love for you even now and forever.

As a result of my experiences of separation from my beloved companions I have come to a realization, perhaps one that works only for me, that the "goal" of this grief journey is not to "get over" the physical loss of our precious companions but rather to adjust to a different dimension of our ongoing relationship with them. While we are on this side of eternity, our life is known by the physical senses - - sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. The love bond we share with our loved ones - - whatever the life form - - is not confined to the physical dimension of time and space. So, when a loved one precedes us from this side of eternity, our relatinship with them changes to a different dimension. The love bond that connected us to them during their earthly journey continues on after they are no longer physically present with us, for their sweet Living Spirit is forever with us in our hearts and memories, and they continue to share our lives just as they always have and always will.

MissMyRosie, one of the many important things to remember during this grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here knows first hand the deep sorrow you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, MissMyRosie, and that I look forward to hearing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thanks you two, for the comforting words about the dream and the grief. It's just so hard. Every little thing gets me sobbing again. I've been off work for two days due to the fabulous stomach flu, and it's really hard to be here in my lonely little apartment.

I am ready to adopt another kitty and my vet is working at finding me one. I can never replace Rosie, but I can give love to someone who needs it.

Here's Rosie in better days.

Hi, MissMyRosie, thank you so much for sharing with us the picture of your precious Rosie. I do so know what you mean about an empty home. This grief journey is so intense particularly in the beginning that it feels as if the house structure itself is also mourning the loss of one of the family members.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I know so well how comforting our precious companions are when we're not feeling well, and not having your precious Rosie with you just adds more grief to your burden.

I'm glad your vet is helping you find a new companion, and I know from what you have shared with us about Rosie's life with you that your precious new furchild will have a wonderful life.

MissMyRosie, thank you again so much for sharing your precious Rosie with us. Please continue to share with us your thoughts and memories as you feel up to it, if you would like to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please do let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm so sorry for your loss... I guess all of us in this forum are really going through this harsh time of losing a friend so dear... but at the same time, it's comforting to have this forum 'cause it's like a sort of shoulder to cry upon, and to show how compassionate we can be with such tragedies with each other, and not fogetting how vulnerable life is, not just for our fur babies but for ourselves.

Last night I dreamt of my baby Seiya. He was a white-with-brown-spots 11-year-old boxer, and I lost him last week on October 20, 2010 (one of the saddest days of my life indeed), due to a disease called Ehrlichiosis and an accidental insecticide poisoning.

I dreamt he was alive but still ill, very thin and weak, lying on my mom's backyard. I saw him and lifted him up but he was too weak to stand, so I carry him up over my shoulders. I felt the same horrible feeling of losing him again so I tried to be as close as I could. I guess maybe my mind and my soul are really missing him a lot, and maybe there's a little regret for I was longing to be with him in my dream until the last moment, which I actually didn't do. He died on the vet's clinic but was sedated since he arrived, so I'm sure he didn't suffer his last hours. I'm still very sad, and my family too, but we really thank God for his life and for his tranquil passing. I hope I won't have any more dreams like this one. I prefer daydreaming of him and of his mischief.

Best wishes for all

Dreams don't always have deep and dark meanings, dreaming is usually the brain jumbling disparate and irrational thoughts with one another. Our brain is not always trying to tell us something, so don't think something horrible is happening with your dear fur baby. I know dreams can be disturbing, mine nearly drove me crazy until they were explained to me by an expert. Grief plays with our minds. I do feel so sorry for you, I know how you feel, please accept my deepest sympathy. Hugs xx

madi xx

I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty. I had mine for 15 years and after he was gone had several bad dreams about him. In them he was skinny and sick or skinny and hungry and crying. They were very upsetting so I know what you are going through. Then I finally had a good dream where he looked good and happy and healthy but I kept thinking-now I have to put you to sleep again so even that was not a really happy dream. I guess your brain just takes a while to process the loss-I really don't know. It is wonderful that you are thinking of giving another lucky kitty a wonderful home. I am not sure that I will ever be ready for that and it has been over a year for me. I hope you feel better soon.

Dear MissMyRosie,

I am deeply sorry for the loss of your precious Rosie. I lost my cat Bunny a few weeks ago and am still grieving and having all kinds of dreams and nightmares. The brain has to process so much when we lose someone we love and it is very hard. During the day, I have noticed, that nothing seems real to me anymore. It seems like an illusion. Even the walls...don't seem real and I think that I'm losing my mind sometimes. I just cannot completely grasp that my baby is gone. And a little part of that is because I wasn't there when he died and I have yet to go home and face this.
Anyway, back to the dreams. Because this is so hard for our brains to process during waking conciousness, it comes out when we are sleeping through our dreams. Our subconcious tells us much about how we are really feeling and how we are really doing. There are many kinds of dreams that people experience when someone they love dies. One of the most dreaded is the one where you see them, think that they are alive and then wake up and have to "relearn" that they really have died. And then the terrible ones where you see them being tortured or suffering. I had a dream about Bunny after he died that was so horrible I haven't even told anyone. I will tell you because of your special posting. I had a dream that he was in a house with a horrible, evil man and he was being raped. I knew that it wasn't real when I woke up but the dreamed seemed real and the trauma that I felt during the dream lasted the whole day. I don't know why I had that dream for sure but maybe because of the sick feeling of horror I have over losing him and not having been able to be there for him and protect him. I have had other nightmares where he was hurt or sick. I had a dream where I just cried and cried about his death and blamed my sister and directed all of my anger at her in the dream. I have no idea why because she has been nothing but supportive to me and understands and loves animals very much like I do. These negative dreams, I believe, are just thought forms and they are not real.
Then there are dreams that we have about them that bring us peace and hope. If there is peace, love, and hope in the dream then I think it is really them and they are visiting us. We also have dreams where they are not hurt and they are OK but they are just thought forms. The difference is that when they visit there is love and peace and when we wake we know it was more than a dream. Love is all powerful and the only thing that is real. I love the following quote:
"There is no difficulty that enough Love will not conquer; no disease that enough Love will not heal; no door that enough Love will not open; no gulf that enough Love will not bridge; no wall that enough Love will not throw down; no sin that enough Love will not redeem.
It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of Love will dissolve it all. If only you could Love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world."
-Emmet Fox


no gulf that enough love will not bridge...yes love is forever and lasting and is our only real connection to anyone. I have read many, many spiritual books - classics and new age. The one that has made the most impression on me and I feel has encompassed the truth of life and all we need to know is The Velveteen Rabbit. Love is real and love makes you real. All put uncomplicated in a children's story.
Don't doubt that Rosie came to you. It was a gift. Have faith in the one thing that we know for sure is real and that is love and there is much power in that.

I had two dreams after my cousin died and I know that they were not dreams and that they were actual visits. I will post that story at the bottom of the page. First I want to say that after I had those dreams about my cousin I did some reading and was very surprised to find that it has been documented that when a dream is an actual visit from a loved one that died there will many times have one or all of these qualities: 1. the loved one is surrounded by light, appears bright, has a bright luminous appearance or glow, 2. they appear as the most beautiful, perfect version of themselves 3. sometimes will be sending a message of some sort that may not be apparent at the time.

Here is the dream account about my cousin's visit that I originally posted under Cheryl83's post called "Has Anything Like This Ever Happened to Anyone Else?":

"My cousin died a few months ago and although we had grown apart I still loved and cared about him very much and was heartbroken for my aunt. About one month after he died I had a dream that I was in his old house from when we were kids. Suddenly in the dream I look up and he walks into the room. As soon as I see him I am so shocked that I completely wake up in the dream and I know I'm dreaming but it is actually him there standing in front of me. He was luminous, and the most beautiful I had ever seen him. It was like you take someone and make them the most perfect and beautiful they could ever be and that is what he looked like. He was slim and had a grandness about him. He also looked surprised, relieved, and excited that I could see him. He said, "You can see me? You can see me?!" And then he was gone and it was over and I woke up with my heart pounding. I immediately woke my mom up to tell her about it. It was between 5 and 6 in the morning. Even though it didn't make much since I knew that it was really him. He had come to visit me. FOR REAL.

About one month after that I had another dream exactly like the first one. I never expected to and had almost forgotten about the first one and then he came again. He looked exactly the same luminous and beautiful. This time, however, he was very nonchalant. He said "Hey" and walked past me to another room. I followed him still in my shock of seeing him and trying to get my wits together to ask him questions like "where are you? are you OK etc. But I didn't have a chance to because he turned around, looked at me and disapeared. He was gone and I was awake. It was the same time between 5 and 6 in the morning. One thing that I thought was very strange about the dream is that he was wearing a black leather jacket. He had never worn a black leather jacket in life. Even though I knew that he was real and came to visit me I thought that part didn't make any sense and I thought maybe my mind had made it up. I told my aunt about the dream and then the last part I told her he had been wearing black leather jacket. She then told me that she and her husband had just bought a black leather jacket for each of them the day before. (and just so you know they were in California in July traveling and I was speaking to her on the phone and had no way of knowing.)

So what that experience told me is that love is eternal, our loved ones live on and are with us. I know this is true and was blessed by the experience like you with blessed with yours."

I still have yet for my Bunny to come to me in my dreams and I hope that he can and I am waiting. I know that it is possible because of my cousin. It would be so good if I could see my lamb and see that he is doing well.

Thank you for your post. You addressed something that I and nearly everyone experiences. And please remember to see those bad dreams as the thought forms that they are and nothing more and the beautiful dreams fill with love as what is really real . That is what I try to do and I know I'm not an expert on anything by any means I just wanted to share with you my thoughts and feelings. I feel very strongly about this topic (as you can see) and so my post is quite long. Thank you for posting and thank you for reading.
Much love and gratitude,
lammy