Hi, I don't know where to begin but I feel I have nowhere else to turn to for support. I lost my best friend, my American C Spaniel Lukas just eleven days ago and I have been so so sad. He would have been 16 years old this October. I have trouble eating and all I want to do is stay in bed and cry. My dog was a spunky little fellow from the first day that my husband and I picked him up...he was just a small bundle of joy. Lukas and I instantly developed a bond; we were so close. When I walked through the door I would yell out to him "Mommy home" and he would come rushing towards me wagging his tail so happy. He was jealous of my husband at times that if my husband tried to kiss me Lukas would jump in between us and try to kiss me, he wanted my love all to himself and I loved him so much. He was with me all the time. Ever since he was a puppy he had been a regular patient at the vets. Anytime he was not feeling well or did not look well I would rush him to see his vet. He had battled Cherry Eye, constant ear problems, constant skin Problems, ITP (blood condition), and glaucoma which eventually led to his blindness at age 14 1/2, cataracts, dry eye, and cancer on his foot (which led to one of his toes to be removed at the age of 11). Meds were a big part of Lukas's life. He was a fighter and although he had many battles he was a happy dog. During these years I had my own health battles and Lukas always gave me comfort. Knowing he was with me helped in my healing process. He was my first son as I like to put it...my daughter was born when Lukas was four years old and although it took time for him to adjust to our new addition he soon became her protector. He was like her brother.
The sad day came to me this year when I had noticed that Lukas began walking funny. I thought at first he had stepped on something so I had looked on the bottom of his foot and noticed a spot that looked like a scratch. I did not think in a million years that the cancer came back but it did. I had taken Lukas to two vets (because I wanted a second opinion). They both expressed that an operation would be high risk for him. They said it was the cancer that returned. Removing the tumour was not a guarantee it would not return again, or that it already did not spread to other organs. His blood work was fine but the x-ray showed an enlarged liver a size the second vet thought was way too large. The second vet (where Lukas has been a patient since he was a puppy) was concerned about his heart being slower, his age, the enlarged liver and his past blood condition (ITP). I asked if I could treat it locally and he said I can try. He told me to either amputate most of his leg or put him to rest and he was strongly suggesting that it was Lukas’s time because he felt Lukas might not survive the operation or have a difficult recovering. I felt so many emotions, anger, sadness, but denial was one as well. How could Lukas deal with losing a leg at his age and his blindness was making it more difficult for him to walk around and enjoy things. I decided to treat Lukas with meds to slow down the growing process of the cancer and assist with the arthritis that was slowly starting in his back leg. I also treated the wound on his foot locally making sure it was cleaned and wrapped. Well, this worked for a few months and he seemed to be doing ok then something happened and it happened so quickly. The last week of Lukas's life I keep playing in the back of my mind. Feelings of guilt and “what if” and” why” just keep playing in my head. As a few days passed he seemed not himself. He looked so sad and in pain so I had booked a vets apt. for him. He began “pooing” lying down, he would not eat so I fed him by hand, his back leg gave him no support at times and cause him to collapse; he would just lay in one spot most of the time. I really did not want to admit that his time could be near but I made sure I let him know I loved him, he was the best dog I could ask for and if he was ready to go then it was ok to leave me. Although deep down I knew I would not be ok. I needed him and although I was saying this to him I had not accepted it yet. I truly thought he could get better, just like all of the other times I helped him to a recovery. I wanted Lukas to be better. The dreadful day came on Sept. 1 2010 when the vet simply told me that I needed to help him get to the place he was trying to go. I have not been the same since this dreadful day. I have been in so much pain and mixed emotion of what if I did things differently. I feel like a part of me has died with him.
RIP my loving dog Lukas...mommy loves and misses you!
Full Version: I Miss My Dog Lukas So Much
Mommyluvsulukas, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious Lukas. He obviously had a wonderful life with a terrific mommy. From your story, you gave him so much. So very very much! It sounds like you made all the right decisions at the right times although that's not the way it feels to you now. But if it helps, you should know that reading your story makes it clear that you did the right things.
Right now, just try to keep breathing. That's all that's required of you, really. It's ok that you're lying around and trying to sleep it away. I did the same thing. The only way I could cope was to face reality in small doses so I slept alot. It was my only escape.
You've come to the right place. I'm just sorry you have to be here. But I hope in the months to come, you will see that you were a good mommy - the best mommy. You still are his best friend and he will always be a part of you just as your daughter is. My heart goes out to you as you face this hard journey. We're here to hear you.
-Donna
Right now, just try to keep breathing. That's all that's required of you, really. It's ok that you're lying around and trying to sleep it away. I did the same thing. The only way I could cope was to face reality in small doses so I slept alot. It was my only escape.
You've come to the right place. I'm just sorry you have to be here. But I hope in the months to come, you will see that you were a good mommy - the best mommy. You still are his best friend and he will always be a part of you just as your daughter is. My heart goes out to you as you face this hard journey. We're here to hear you.
-Donna
Hi, MommyluvsuLukas, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Lukas. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Our lives with our beloved companions are never long enough on this side of eternity. We will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, - - one more lifetime. When our beloved companions precede us to the angels it is as if they take a part of us with them - - the better part of us that belongs only to them. Our beloved companions give to us their undivided attention and unconditional love, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely. And this is one of the many reasons why losing their precious physical presence with us is so very painful - - both physically and emotionally.
Donna has said so very well what is in my heart as well, and I just want to add my affirmation to what she said. Hopefully in time you will know that your precious Lukas is still with you - - his sweet Living Spirit is forever with you wherever you go and whatever you do. Love has no boundaries - - it is eternal - - and your precious Lukas knows that you gave him the very thing he needed - - to be released from his failing physical body - - so that he could once again be healed to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels. He knows you did this at great sacrifice to you, and that is what pure love is - - putting the needs of another living being ahead of our wants and needs.
One of the many things to remember during this grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here understands what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, MommyluvsuLukas, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Donna has said so very well what is in my heart as well, and I just want to add my affirmation to what she said. Hopefully in time you will know that your precious Lukas is still with you - - his sweet Living Spirit is forever with you wherever you go and whatever you do. Love has no boundaries - - it is eternal - - and your precious Lukas knows that you gave him the very thing he needed - - to be released from his failing physical body - - so that he could once again be healed to his former youthfulness in the company of the angels. He knows you did this at great sacrifice to you, and that is what pure love is - - putting the needs of another living being ahead of our wants and needs.
One of the many things to remember during this grief journey is that you are not alone. Each of us here understands what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, MommyluvsuLukas, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so sorry that you have lost Lukas. I wish I could compose a note that would take your pain away. I do see you second guessing your decision. But I also see that you made your dog happy for a long time. It sounds like you filled his life with delight. You worked hard to give him a long life. It is normal to wonder if you could have done more or done things differently. But it sounds like you made him very happy for over 15 years. Sadly his body was having problems that you and other people could not fix. You did a good job in making him happy for many years and doing your best to protect him. I am sending warm kind thoughts to you.
I am so sorry for your loss, MommyluvsuLukas. It sounds like you gave Lukas 16 of the happiest, most loved filled years that any dog could ask for.
Each of us here has experienced the loss of a beloved pet and each of us has found comfort, support and understanding here. We're a family here, bound by the love of animals and the pain of their loss.
Welcome to our family, and please let us know how you're doing. We're all here for you.
-Clay
Each of us here has experienced the loss of a beloved pet and each of us has found comfort, support and understanding here. We're a family here, bound by the love of animals and the pain of their loss.
Welcome to our family, and please let us know how you're doing. We're all here for you.
-Clay
Thank you all so very much for the kind words. It means the world to me during this time. Many people do not understand the love one could have for a beloved pet so I am very happy to have found people like you that do. Although I had tried my best in giving Lukas the love and care during his time here on earth with me it is not even a fraction of what my loving Lukas has given to me in return. He had given me so much of his unconditional love and brought so much joy in my life that he was truly my pet soul mate and my rock. I miss my best friend so much and I hope he knew how much I truly loved him. As he laid on the vet table before he was euthanized it was almost like he did not want to look at me...I feel so bad to have had to make such a decision...as you had so kindly put it Moon Beam....I just wanted one more hour, one more day, one more lifetime with him.
Once again, thank you all so very much for your kind words it makes me feel good inside to know that there are people like you all in this world.
MommyluvsuLukas
Once again, thank you all so very much for your kind words it makes me feel good inside to know that there are people like you all in this world.
MommyluvsuLukas
Mommyluvsulukas, I just wanted to thank you for your reply to my post. The sweet, kind, wonderful words written on this forum have been a lifesaver for me. There's such an outpouring of support and comfort, it's just unbelievable. Thank you for your words. I hope that you are doing well.
-Donna
-Donna
Lukas sounds like such an awesome dog. I know right now you ache for his physical being - to hold him, cuddle him, kiss his nose; but in time you will draw comfort from the memories and realize that he will always be with you; an angel on your shoulder wherever you go, whatever you do.
We're here for you during this difficult journey. We all understand and wish you well.
Hang in there - Cheryl xx
We're here for you during this difficult journey. We all understand and wish you well.
Hang in there - Cheryl xx
Oh my Gosh, Dearest MommyluvsuLukas. I've read all you've written about your Angel Fur Kid American C Spaniel Lukas as well as what others responded. It would take me hours to tell you all I wish to share. You and I reacted in a very similar method to our losses. Please permit me to extend my deepest condolences on your loss of sweet Lukas. 
There's something you really, really gotta read. It has to do with your feelings of guilt, loss, devastation and all round shattered world. It's in the Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles area here at LS which you can see on the front of this message board.
So you won't need to hunt down the post and thread, I'll provide a direct link for you to click. Please click below.
Your Fur Child Loss Devastation - You Are Not Going Insane - Emotions and Behavior Caused By Pet Loss
<<Snippets From The Above Link>>
For pet lovers, the death of a cherished companion can be as painful as the death of a relative or friend. In fact, the death of a pet can affect some of us even more than the death of a relative or friend.
The death of a pet can trigger painful memories to resurface.
Move toward people who show you compassion. They may emerge from the least expected places. Open yourself to colleagues at work; you might make a new friend. Validate your pain with people who understand, such as your veterinarian, veterinary technician, groomer, or another pet owner. A local pet grief support group or bereavement might provide the comfort you need.
<<End Snippets>>
Please, also click below. It's free and very comforting to anyone no matter your religion, belief system, or if you have none ...
'Light A Candle' Online. It Is Free. Please Read And I Send Love To All.
There's so much more I wish to share with you, however I fear I'm about to be booted off my PC again so will send now and return to edit in this post or make another post giving you more information: Websites, videos and sharing my own experiences if I'm able.
Winging many loving Angels to you and your Angel Fur Kid Lucas!
I wish you Peace, MommyluvsuLukas. And, I shall be back when I can.
Many Comforting Hugs!
Always, Dottie xoxoxox
There's something you really, really gotta read. It has to do with your feelings of guilt, loss, devastation and all round shattered world. It's in the Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles area here at LS which you can see on the front of this message board.So you won't need to hunt down the post and thread, I'll provide a direct link for you to click. Please click below.
Your Fur Child Loss Devastation - You Are Not Going Insane - Emotions and Behavior Caused By Pet Loss
<<Snippets From The Above Link>>
For pet lovers, the death of a cherished companion can be as painful as the death of a relative or friend. In fact, the death of a pet can affect some of us even more than the death of a relative or friend.
The death of a pet can trigger painful memories to resurface.
Move toward people who show you compassion. They may emerge from the least expected places. Open yourself to colleagues at work; you might make a new friend. Validate your pain with people who understand, such as your veterinarian, veterinary technician, groomer, or another pet owner. A local pet grief support group or bereavement might provide the comfort you need.
<<End Snippets>>
Please, also click below. It's free and very comforting to anyone no matter your religion, belief system, or if you have none ...
'Light A Candle' Online. It Is Free. Please Read And I Send Love To All.
There's so much more I wish to share with you, however I fear I'm about to be booted off my PC again so will send now and return to edit in this post or make another post giving you more information: Websites, videos and sharing my own experiences if I'm able.
Winging many loving Angels to you and your Angel Fur Kid Lucas!
I wish you Peace, MommyluvsuLukas. And, I shall be back when I can.
Many Comforting Hugs!
Always, Dottie xoxoxox
As Lukas' birthday approaches I am filled with so much sadness. He would have been 16 years old on the 17th of October...and I truly miss him. It has been over a month (44 days to be exact) since Lukas has been gone and it is still very fresh in my mind. Every day I go through my home hoping to see him again and reality hits that he is not here anymore…and I cry. I truly miss my best friend and pray he is at peace.
I love you Lukas you will always be in my heart forever, forever remembered and forever missed.
MommyluvsuLukas
I love you Lukas you will always be in my heart forever, forever remembered and forever missed.
MommyluvsuLukas
{{{{{{{MommyluvsuLukas}}}}}}} Oh how well I know about how we count the days since out sweet Angel Fur and Feather kids have passed over to The Rainbow Bridge. We play the movie over and over and over again in our minds about them and mostly it's about their final and last day. In your case, you've got months worth of movies to play over and over in your mind as one can easily tell from reading all you've shared about your most cherished Angel Fur Kid Lukas in your very first post. It's much like everything is happening again and again in real time. Yes, Dear One, I know that all to well also. It can be and many times is torture to us.
Well, you read about my Alex so you realize it. Once again, I repeat how our reactions and journey are so very similar even though our circumstances are obviously different. MommyluvsuLukas, they were our children just as much as a human would be. They are to us and that's what counts. That's what makes this journey analagous, at least to me, like being in the seventh level of Dante"s Inferno. You believe there's no end in sight to your grief, devastation and shattered world! Your Path to Healing has not yet begun.
Truly, my intentions are not to upset you. torture you even more by all I just said above. My actual intention is to validate all you're feeling, experiencing and to let you know that you are not alone, Dear One. You are not. Also, to let you know that many times people just can't find the words adequate enough to offer the comfort you so sorely need and deserve.
MommyluvsuLukas, you've possibly read already how I'm a visual person and express myself so much better when using images, photos, videos and the like rather than my own words. My words are not sufficient. Do you have any photos of sweet Angel Fur Kid Lukas? If you do, could you post one or more? When I see your responses to my posts for Alex, I get the feeling that the images, videos, poems and so on bring you ... Comfort. Faith. Hope. I wish so much to do the same for you and your very, very Special Angel Fur Baby Lukas. In the meantime, do any of these photo resemble Lucas at all? Click the links ...
Note: I just edited out the many images because they are not working. I'll try again later to see if they'll go through. I'm so sorry!
In the meantime, I hope you don't mind if I share one of Alex's favorite videos. He loved Kermit singing this and loved all the Muppets. He'd sit on my right shoulder, sometimes would make happy sounds, and other times would even sing along. His favorite song was Lullaby of Broadway and he loved watching Fred Astaire's performance of Putting on the Ritz. Oh, I could go on and on. Alex's tastes ranged from the cute to the sophisticated. So wonderful to watch and hear him enjoy.
Please, turn up your volume and click on the image for Rainbow Connection by Kermit. I pray you are comforted, Dear One.
Well, you read about my Alex so you realize it. Once again, I repeat how our reactions and journey are so very similar even though our circumstances are obviously different. MommyluvsuLukas, they were our children just as much as a human would be. They are to us and that's what counts. That's what makes this journey analagous, at least to me, like being in the seventh level of Dante"s Inferno. You believe there's no end in sight to your grief, devastation and shattered world! Your Path to Healing has not yet begun.
Truly, my intentions are not to upset you. torture you even more by all I just said above. My actual intention is to validate all you're feeling, experiencing and to let you know that you are not alone, Dear One. You are not. Also, to let you know that many times people just can't find the words adequate enough to offer the comfort you so sorely need and deserve.
MommyluvsuLukas, you've possibly read already how I'm a visual person and express myself so much better when using images, photos, videos and the like rather than my own words. My words are not sufficient. Do you have any photos of sweet Angel Fur Kid Lukas? If you do, could you post one or more? When I see your responses to my posts for Alex, I get the feeling that the images, videos, poems and so on bring you ... Comfort. Faith. Hope. I wish so much to do the same for you and your very, very Special Angel Fur Baby Lukas. In the meantime, do any of these photo resemble Lucas at all? Click the links ...
Note: I just edited out the many images because they are not working. I'll try again later to see if they'll go through. I'm so sorry!
In the meantime, I hope you don't mind if I share one of Alex's favorite videos. He loved Kermit singing this and loved all the Muppets. He'd sit on my right shoulder, sometimes would make happy sounds, and other times would even sing along. His favorite song was Lullaby of Broadway and he loved watching Fred Astaire's performance of Putting on the Ritz. Oh, I could go on and on. Alex's tastes ranged from the cute to the sophisticated. So wonderful to watch and hear him enjoy.
Please, turn up your volume and click on the image for Rainbow Connection by Kermit. I pray you are comforted, Dear One.
"The Rainbow Connection"
Sung by Kermit the Frog
(Well, really Jim Henson but Alex didn't know that.
So, we won't spoil it for him. Mum's the word.)
Why are there so many songs about Rainbows,
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And Rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection ...
The Lovers, the Dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and me!
All of us under its spell ...
We know that it's probably Magic!
Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
Someday we'll find it! the Rainbow Connection ...
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and me!
I Wish You Peace, MommyluvsuLukas.
Many Comforting Hugs!
Always, Dottie xoxoxox
Sung by Kermit the Frog
(Well, really Jim Henson but Alex didn't know that.
So, we won't spoil it for him. Mum's the word.)
Why are there so many songs about Rainbows,
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And Rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection ...
The Lovers, the Dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and me!
All of us under its spell ...
We know that it's probably Magic!
Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
Someday we'll find it! the Rainbow Connection ...
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and me!
I Wish You Peace, MommyluvsuLukas.
Many Comforting Hugs!
Always, Dottie xoxoxox
Hello Dottie,
Thank you for sharing one of Alex' videos with me. It was so adorable! I have never heard this song before from Kermit. It is so cute I can see how Alex would love it so much. Such great memories that our fur friends leave us with...we are truly blessed to have been part of their precious lives.
Here are some pictures...I had a hard time uploading them due to size....I did my best. The first one is of Lukas when he was much younger...he was such a playful dog and full of energy. The second picture was taken last year...I like this picture because it looks like a ray of sunshine is shining down on him when the picture is viewed in full.
Talk to you soon
MommyluvsuLukas
Thank you for sharing one of Alex' videos with me. It was so adorable! I have never heard this song before from Kermit. It is so cute I can see how Alex would love it so much. Such great memories that our fur friends leave us with...we are truly blessed to have been part of their precious lives.
Here are some pictures...I had a hard time uploading them due to size....I did my best. The first one is of Lukas when he was much younger...he was such a playful dog and full of energy. The second picture was taken last year...I like this picture because it looks like a ray of sunshine is shining down on him when the picture is viewed in full.
Talk to you soon
MommyluvsuLukas
Hello Dearest MommyluvsuLukas,
I am very pleased that you enjoyed one of Alex's favorite videos. He just loved the Muppet movies and their TV program as well. Then again, he also loved The Godfather. Such eclectic tastes for all genres of movies, videos, images and music.
At the present time, I'm working on the top photo of your Angel Fur Kid Lukas. It may take a day or two since I keep working on repairs, saving what I've done, then continue to edit. So, please be patient and I sure do hope you like what I'm preparing. By the way, the larger the photo, the better it is for me (or anyone else) to work with. Thank you so much, Dear One.
I'm researching eye colors for American C. Spaniels that have Lukas's fur color. Then again, one eye could be blue and the other brown. Sure do hope I get his eyes the right color when I reach that point. I'm guessing brown? Am I right?
Please know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as I wing multitudes of loving Angels to soothe and gently guide you through this most difficult time in your life. Am lighting virtual candles for you both, too.
Many Comforting Hugs and Blessings to You and Your Precious Angel Fur Kid Lukas!
Also, a very special Angel descends from Heaven's Rainbow Bridge to visit bringing you Roses from Lukas.
Always, Dottie xoxoxox
I am very pleased that you enjoyed one of Alex's favorite videos. He just loved the Muppet movies and their TV program as well. Then again, he also loved The Godfather. Such eclectic tastes for all genres of movies, videos, images and music.
At the present time, I'm working on the top photo of your Angel Fur Kid Lukas. It may take a day or two since I keep working on repairs, saving what I've done, then continue to edit. So, please be patient and I sure do hope you like what I'm preparing. By the way, the larger the photo, the better it is for me (or anyone else) to work with. Thank you so much, Dear One.
I'm researching eye colors for American C. Spaniels that have Lukas's fur color. Then again, one eye could be blue and the other brown. Sure do hope I get his eyes the right color when I reach that point. I'm guessing brown? Am I right?
Please know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers as I wing multitudes of loving Angels to soothe and gently guide you through this most difficult time in your life. Am lighting virtual candles for you both, too.
Many Comforting Hugs and Blessings to You and Your Precious Angel Fur Kid Lukas!
Also, a very special Angel descends from Heaven's Rainbow Bridge to visit bringing you Roses from Lukas.
Always, Dottie xoxoxox
Hello Dottie,
You sure know how to make me smile! Such a lovely image you have posted...thank you so much.
Alex sure had great taste in movies and music! I too just love the Godfather. Your postings of Alex are so beautiful and it is such a pleasure to hear all of the lovely memories that you have. I would love to hear more about Alex, he was truly an amazing fur friend!
Thank you for taking the time to make and design a lovely picture for me of Lukas...that means a lot to me. In regards to his eye color...he was a Red American ##er Spaniel and his eye color was brown (both eyes)...dark pupil and medium brown around the pupil (in the right lighting sometimes the outer part looked dark hazel brownish)...he had such beautiful eyes! I know that the pictures I have posted do not show his eye color because of the glare from the flash so I hope I gave you a good description.
Thank you so much Dottie I sure cannot wait to see the lovely image. You truly are an angel. I know that you too are going through a hard time and I want you to know that I understand your pain and please know I am here for you if ever you need to talk.
I hope all is well with you and Styx. I am sending you, Alex, Styx and all of your fur friend's hugs and prayers.
MommyluvsuLukas
You sure know how to make me smile! Such a lovely image you have posted...thank you so much.
Alex sure had great taste in movies and music! I too just love the Godfather. Your postings of Alex are so beautiful and it is such a pleasure to hear all of the lovely memories that you have. I would love to hear more about Alex, he was truly an amazing fur friend!
Thank you for taking the time to make and design a lovely picture for me of Lukas...that means a lot to me. In regards to his eye color...he was a Red American ##er Spaniel and his eye color was brown (both eyes)...dark pupil and medium brown around the pupil (in the right lighting sometimes the outer part looked dark hazel brownish)...he had such beautiful eyes! I know that the pictures I have posted do not show his eye color because of the glare from the flash so I hope I gave you a good description.
Thank you so much Dottie I sure cannot wait to see the lovely image. You truly are an angel. I know that you too are going through a hard time and I want you to know that I understand your pain and please know I am here for you if ever you need to talk.
I hope all is well with you and Styx. I am sending you, Alex, Styx and all of your fur friend's hugs and prayers.
MommyluvsuLukas
Happy Birthday Lukas Mommy loves you! You will forever be in my heart, forever remembered and forever missed.
MommyluvsuLukas
MommyluvsuLukas
Hi, MommyluvsurLukas, what a handsome man your beloved Lukas is. Please know that your beloved Lukas is still forever with you in your heart and your memories. I know it's not the same, but it's true. His love is forever with you - - nothing can ever take that away from you.
The birthdays, the anniversaries, the good times, the sad times - - everything in our life's journey changed when our beloved companions came into our lives, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. The latter is a very hard adjustment to make for we are missing a part of ourselves that our beloved companions take with them. The only thing we can do is persevere in our continued earthly journey holding fast onto our treasured memories.
MommyluvsuLukas, thank you so much for sharing your precious Lukas with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
The birthdays, the anniversaries, the good times, the sad times - - everything in our life's journey changed when our beloved companions came into our lives, and they change again when they precede us to the angels. The latter is a very hard adjustment to make for we are missing a part of ourselves that our beloved companions take with them. The only thing we can do is persevere in our continued earthly journey holding fast onto our treasured memories.
MommyluvsuLukas, thank you so much for sharing your precious Lukas with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I'm so sorry for your loss. I am going through the second aniversary for the death of my Wally Baxter (a white Bichon Frise) who was taken from me at age 6 due to epilepsy. The memory never goes away, but the pain becomes bearable. For me, it took about a year.
I took comfort in believing that our pets go to heaven because God has to value that love between us. When I could say that now, my Wally was God's dog and would be taken care of by him until we get reunited eventually, the pain became much more bearable. I knew that Wally wasn't gone, just moved on to the next life.
I hope you can find ways to deal with the grief. Don't forget to eat. That will only make yourself ill, and remember, your Lukas wouldn't want you to do that.
Take care.
-Donald
I took comfort in believing that our pets go to heaven because God has to value that love between us. When I could say that now, my Wally was God's dog and would be taken care of by him until we get reunited eventually, the pain became much more bearable. I knew that Wally wasn't gone, just moved on to the next life.
I hope you can find ways to deal with the grief. Don't forget to eat. That will only make yourself ill, and remember, your Lukas wouldn't want you to do that.
Take care.
-Donald
Thank you for the kind words Donald. Losing my beloved Lukas has been very hard on me. The first few weeks I did not eat properly but I am slowly getting better. I am sorry to hear about your loss of your beloved pet Wally Baxter.
Take care
MommyluvsuLukas
Take care
MommyluvsuLukas
QUOTE (MommyluvsuLukas @ Sep 11 2010, 02:57 PM) 
Hi, I don't know where to begin but I feel I have nowhere else to turn to for support. I lost my best friend, my American C Spaniel Lukas just eleven days ago and I have been so so sad. He would have been 16 years old this October. I have trouble eating and all I want to do is stay in bed and cry. My dog was a spunky little fellow from the first day that my husband and I picked him up...he was just a small bundle of joy. Lukas and I instantly developed a bond; we were so close. When I walked through the door I would yell out to him "Mommy home" and he would come rushing towards me wagging his tail so happy. He was jealous of my husband at times that if my husband tried to kiss me Lukas would jump in between us and try to kiss me, he wanted my love all to himself and I loved him so much. He was with me all the time. Ever since he was a puppy he had been a regular patient at the vets. Anytime he was not feeling well or did not look well I would rush him to see his vet. He had battled Cherry Eye, constant ear problems, constant skin Problems, ITP (blood condition), and glaucoma which eventually led to his blindness at age 14 1/2, cataracts, dry eye, and cancer on his foot (which led to one of his toes to be removed at the age of 11). Meds were a big part of Lukas's life. He was a fighter and although he had many battles he was a happy dog. During these years I had my own health battles and Lukas always gave me comfort. Knowing he was with me helped in my healing process. He was my first son as I like to put it...my daughter was born when Lukas was four years old and although it took time for him to adjust to our new addition he soon became her protector. He was like her brother.
The sad day came to me this year when I had noticed that Lukas began walking funny. I thought at first he had stepped on something so I had looked on the bottom of his foot and noticed a spot that looked like a scratch. I did not think in a million years that the cancer came back but it did. I had taken Lukas to two vets (because I wanted a second opinion). They both expressed that an operation would be high risk for him. They said it was the cancer that returned. Removing the tumour was not a guarantee it would not return again, or that it already did not spread to other organs. His blood work was fine but the x-ray showed an enlarged liver a size the second vet thought was way too large. The second vet (where Lukas has been a patient since he was a puppy) was concerned about his heart being slower, his age, the enlarged liver and his past blood condition (ITP). I asked if I could treat it locally and he said I can try. He told me to either amputate most of his leg or put him to rest and he was strongly suggesting that it was Lukas’s time because he felt Lukas might not survive the operation or have a difficult recovering. I felt so many emotions, anger, sadness, but denial was one as well. How could Lukas deal with losing a leg at his age and his blindness was making it more difficult for him to walk around and enjoy things. I decided to treat Lukas with meds to slow down the growing process of the cancer and assist with the arthritis that was slowly starting in his back leg. I also treated the wound on his foot locally making sure it was cleaned and wrapped. Well, this worked for a few months and he seemed to be doing ok then something happened and it happened so quickly. The last week of Lukas's life I keep playing in the back of my mind. Feelings of guilt and “what if” and” why” just keep playing in my head. As a few days passed he seemed not himself. He looked so sad and in pain so I had booked a vets apt. for him. He began “pooing” lying down, he would not eat so I fed him by hand, his back leg gave him no support at times and cause him to collapse; he would just lay in one spot most of the time. I really did not want to admit that his time could be near but I made sure I let him know I loved him, he was the best dog I could ask for and if he was ready to go then it was ok to leave me. Although deep down I knew I would not be ok. I needed him and although I was saying this to him I had not accepted it yet. I truly thought he could get better, just like all of the other times I helped him to a recovery. I wanted Lukas to be better. The dreadful day came on Sept. 1 2010 when the vet simply told me that I needed to help him get to the place he was trying to go. I have not been the same since this dreadful day. I have been in so much pain and mixed emotion of what if I did things differently. I feel like a part of me has died with him.
RIP my loving dog Lukas...mommy loves and misses you!
The sad day came to me this year when I had noticed that Lukas began walking funny. I thought at first he had stepped on something so I had looked on the bottom of his foot and noticed a spot that looked like a scratch. I did not think in a million years that the cancer came back but it did. I had taken Lukas to two vets (because I wanted a second opinion). They both expressed that an operation would be high risk for him. They said it was the cancer that returned. Removing the tumour was not a guarantee it would not return again, or that it already did not spread to other organs. His blood work was fine but the x-ray showed an enlarged liver a size the second vet thought was way too large. The second vet (where Lukas has been a patient since he was a puppy) was concerned about his heart being slower, his age, the enlarged liver and his past blood condition (ITP). I asked if I could treat it locally and he said I can try. He told me to either amputate most of his leg or put him to rest and he was strongly suggesting that it was Lukas’s time because he felt Lukas might not survive the operation or have a difficult recovering. I felt so many emotions, anger, sadness, but denial was one as well. How could Lukas deal with losing a leg at his age and his blindness was making it more difficult for him to walk around and enjoy things. I decided to treat Lukas with meds to slow down the growing process of the cancer and assist with the arthritis that was slowly starting in his back leg. I also treated the wound on his foot locally making sure it was cleaned and wrapped. Well, this worked for a few months and he seemed to be doing ok then something happened and it happened so quickly. The last week of Lukas's life I keep playing in the back of my mind. Feelings of guilt and “what if” and” why” just keep playing in my head. As a few days passed he seemed not himself. He looked so sad and in pain so I had booked a vets apt. for him. He began “pooing” lying down, he would not eat so I fed him by hand, his back leg gave him no support at times and cause him to collapse; he would just lay in one spot most of the time. I really did not want to admit that his time could be near but I made sure I let him know I loved him, he was the best dog I could ask for and if he was ready to go then it was ok to leave me. Although deep down I knew I would not be ok. I needed him and although I was saying this to him I had not accepted it yet. I truly thought he could get better, just like all of the other times I helped him to a recovery. I wanted Lukas to be better. The dreadful day came on Sept. 1 2010 when the vet simply told me that I needed to help him get to the place he was trying to go. I have not been the same since this dreadful day. I have been in so much pain and mixed emotion of what if I did things differently. I feel like a part of me has died with him.
RIP my loving dog Lukas...mommy loves and misses you!
I am deeply sorry for your loss. My heart and thouhgts are with you. Lukas knew you loved him enough to let him get to where he needed to be so he can run freely to you meet again. Let his love shadow you so you can get to where you need to be a happier person. Way easier said than done. I wish you and your family solace. Take care.
QUOTE (Rudy's Mom @ Oct 22 2010, 03:25 PM)
I am deeply sorry for your loss. My heart and thouhgts are with you. Lukas knew you loved him enough to let him get to where he needed to be so he can run freely to you meet again. Let his love shadow you so you can get to where you need to be a happier person. Way easier said than done. I wish you and your family solace. Take care.
Thank you so much for your kind words Rudy's Mom. I really appreciate it. I hope all is well with you. Take care.
Lukas,
Not a day goes by that I do not think about you. I will love you always and I am forever missing you. I hope you are happy and at peace. Please know you were the best dog and I thank you for all of the wonderful times we spent together.
I received a wonderful gift the other day in your memory. Your vet clinic made a donation in your name to a foundation that helps elderly and disabled people for veterinary care of their pets. It brought tears of joy knowing that they did this on your behalf but I could not stop the sharp feeling of pain in my heart of not having you physically with me anymore. Christmas is approaching and it will just not be the same without you here. I love you my Lukas and miss you.
Forever in my heart
Forever Missed and
Forever Remembered
Loving you forever Lukas
Love Mommy
Not a day goes by that I do not think about you. I will love you always and I am forever missing you. I hope you are happy and at peace. Please know you were the best dog and I thank you for all of the wonderful times we spent together.
I received a wonderful gift the other day in your memory. Your vet clinic made a donation in your name to a foundation that helps elderly and disabled people for veterinary care of their pets. It brought tears of joy knowing that they did this on your behalf but I could not stop the sharp feeling of pain in my heart of not having you physically with me anymore. Christmas is approaching and it will just not be the same without you here. I love you my Lukas and miss you.
Forever in my heart
Forever Missed and
Forever Remembered
Loving you forever Lukas
Love Mommy
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