I have returned once again to the shores of this sea to heal from another pet loss....in 2005 this site helped me heal from the leaving of 2 angels that graced my life and now I have found my way back in the shadows of grief to find comfort in this storm. I found my Sammie (Samantha Pearl) at a shelter. She was a beautiful black cat with a shiny coat and a pure and innocent soul that shone through her green jade eyes. It took me the better part of 2 years but eventually she got over her fears of whatever ghosts she carried from her past life....and became my sweet Sammie.

Last week all that changed....I was away on vacation when I received a fateful phone call from my distraught pet sitter...she arrived at home and found my sweet Sammie in her favorite spot...but not sleeping...this time she had gone from this earth....and would never be there for me again to greet me at the top of those stairs...peering around the corner shyly...still a bit hesitant to believe it was someone who loved her so.

My angel left me....I am living now in a void. It is a 2 dimension world. Everything is still here but it seems as if they are all props on a stage....and I am living strangely among them. My environment is foreign without her.

I carry a heating pad around....it resembles the warmth of her silky fur....I have the rug she was last wrapped in...so gently and dearly by my trusted friend...I lay on the rug where she was found...I sob and cry...my reference point is gone...

Thank you for listening...I did not think I would be here again so soon....she was only 11...I only had her for 5 years....never long enough though...my Ambie was 20...the other angel pets well into their teens....it is never long enough...they are angels on this earth...too soon gone.

My heart is gray and shadowed. Samantha Pearl July 15, 1999 - July 11, 2010

Kathryn

Kathryn,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious Baby! She sounds so special in every way. Its such a hard shock for the system to even deal with and I too slept on my dog's beds for 2 weeks and still carry them in my car. Its a void that is unbearable as the love that you shared with your sweet kitty's physical being seems like its gone. But, it is not gone-that love carries on forever. She has just transitioned to another state and as hard as it is, it was perhaps her time to change form. But, I have to believe that her energy lives on, around and inside you. She is never gone. For her sake, thankfully she went peacefully while she slept. Its just hard on those of us who are left behind. I know you shared amazing moments together and the love that was between the two of you will help to surpass the grief that you are feeling now. As you know, it just takes some time.
Sending prayers and a hug to you during this tough time....
Amy

Kathryn

I am so sorry for you terrible loss and the emptiness you are now living in. My heart goes out to you I am so so sorry. I know the pain and emptiness to lose a beloved cat. My Nikita has been gone almost eight weeks now and I still ache for her. Your will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Again I am so sorry

John

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Sammie sounded like a wonderful companion who finally found peace from whatever her past had with you. I know what you're going through and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

Thank you all for the comfort. Tonight I am left in this physical space...I know she is close behind the veil...patiently waiting for me to see. Blessings and peace to you.

Where you are now is the worse place to be, I have been there and I didn't think I could survive such pain. The people here got me through my grief and helped me get to where I am now, but it's taken well over a year to get to the stage I'm now at. You have my deepest sympathy for your loss, you put so much love and effort into your precious angel and without you she would have possibly never known the love that a human being can give. I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers, hang in there Kathryn xx

madi xx

Thank you Madi....Sammie looked like that photo you posted too....so sweet and pure....my heart is empty...waiting for her to come home....here is what I wrote today.....

Early morning coffee steams the air....waiting in my chair for the familiar routine....never more....not ready to turn the corner yet...I close my eyes and wait some more.....

Hi, Kathryn, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Sammie. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. As I was reading through your post tears welled up in my eyes for I relate to how broken your heart is.

I am so sorry that your baby girl joined the angels while you were on vacation. You did provide good care for your precious girl while you were away, although this is little comfort to your broken heart right now.

Kathryn, it doesn't matter if it's our first loss or our thousandth, this grief journey is very painful - - both physically and emotionally - - because each loss is as individual as our precious companion who has joined the angels.

Kathryn, thank you so much for sharing with us about your precious Sammie and sharing her beautiful picture. With your love she knew she had a home where she was safe and loved, and she joined the angels in the comfort of the scents and sounds of the place she truly knows as "home." She continues to be a part of you, and she continues to know the place she physically lived with you as "home" - - for her sweet Living Spirit is forever with you wherever you go and whatever you do.

I wish there were some magic words I could say that could take away this horrible pain and deep sorrow your are feeling, but unfortunately I don't have that power. But I want you to know that you are close in my thoughts and prayers, Kathryn, and truly want to know how things are going with you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

This brought me closer to my own heart and soul where Sammie waits for me patiently...waiting for me to let her go from the physical world and find her anew in the angelic realm you so eloquently describe...and rings so true to my soul. Yet my immediate world seems so dimensionless and I want to sleep and sleep....hiding from the empty spaces. I will never understand this part of life...losing the ones we love...thank you for the thoughts and prayer....I miss her so much..I know the healing will come...in the meantime I step through time where everything is just so silent...I believe in magic..I believe in life..I just do not have the strength to act on my convictions this day...so I sleep...and dream of happier days. Sammie I miss you so.

Kathryn, I want so much to respond to your thread but when I read your post, I broke down and cried. I feel your pain in my own heart as it is still my own. Samantha Pearl is a beautiful name. I'm so sorry. I hope to respond to you soon when I can compose myself. But my heart goes out to you now as you watch that corner you don't want to turn. I'm still staring at it myself although I feel pushed around it sometimes and there's nothing there I want.
-Donna

(((Donna))) We are all travellers upon the same path...where the shadows seem more comforting than the light...yet...we go on...we have embers that glow still in the darkness of our empty hearts...and we one day soon will find the crystalline curtains that now separate us from the angelic...a place that is the love we know...this place waits..we go forward in heavy footsteps...the present blurred by our tears and disbelief...in the distance there is cosmic song...this day it does not sound so sweet..but as the vision becomes more clear..we will find once again those sweet loves we thought were lost...and reconcile them to our hearts once again...this is called faith...may we find it now...together we walk...there is unseen strength that binds us one to the other...they wait for us patiently to call them home to us once again.

Thank you for your caring and the honest words...I share them...my heart still aches..