Three Fridays ago I came home from work to find my male cat Aries in the bathroom (not uncommon, both cats love the bathroom). However he didn't come greet me and was just laying there looking a bit off. I interacted with him, picked him up and put him on the bed, he seemed uninterested and not purring. I was a little worried so I opened some wet cat food, normally this would get a huge response, both him and his sister would come running from anywhere in the apartment at the sound of the lid opening. He again was not interested, he sniffed it and that was it. I opened some canned tuna to see if that would work and again nothing. I decided to wait till morning to see how he was doing and if no changes we were going to the animal hospital. Next morning with no changes we took him in, he had several X-rays and blood tests, we got some prescription food which I had to syringe feed him. The next day you could hear his breathing and it seemed very shallow so we went back to the vets for more x-rays and found he had some build up in his lungs. He was given something to break it up and his blood work showed that his liver enzymes were up. The doctor wanted to take another blood test for heart disease so we did that as well. That night he peed while sitting at the water bowel and didn't seem to realize he did. Before he was still using the liter box. We were also giving him antibiotics in case he had an infection. These just seemed to make him unhappy, he kept getting up to find a new spot to lay, like he couldn't get comfortable. Next day we went back in, his breathing was odd again, not shallow but you could hear him breathing. X-rays came back with much less build up in the lungs, so now we had to wait for the heart tests. Tuesday came and went with little change, we stopped the antibiotics since it seemed to make him uncomfortable and he slept a little better Tuesday. Tuesday evening we got the results of the heart test, there was something up with his heart. Wednesday we went in for ultrasounds to learn that he had HCM and possibly liver cancer. The vet recommended we put him to sleep because he was extremely sick and would need very aggressive treatments. He was just about to turn 6. I decided to put him to sleep, but I am now having regrets (which im sure is normal) so I'm looking for other peoples opinions. This cat was my life, I love his sister equally but he and I had a closer relationship. This is the worst thing I've had to go through so far in my life, and I just wanted to know if I made the right decision, my logic was if they could fix the liver he would need surgery and probably a feeding tube since he wasn't really eating on his own (he would lick up the gravy from the wet food and what I made him eat with the syringe). First he would have to survive the surgery which was already risky with a heart condition then recover while he had to take several heart meds to see which ones would work for him. All of this to just extend his life somewhat, not cure him. He HATED the vets and traveling I feel so horrible for taking him in 4 times in 5 days only to have to put him to sleep. They said his body temp was 5 degrees lower than normal and he still was peeing without realizing it and hadn't had a bowel movement for at least 5 days. When they brought him into the room, he was crying about being held by the attendant, once he saw my roommates and myself he calmed down and I pet his nose (always calms him) and he went to sleep on his side stretched out like he always does. I could see him dreaming, his eyes moved around and his paw twitched. This just made it even harder to make that decision, it didn't seem like he was suffering at that point. Was it the right choice to let him go?

I'm at work so I can't type much, but you without a doubt made the right decision. Aries was uncomfortable and as you said the surgery was not a cure but would extend his life for a little while and the rest of his life probably wouldn't have been quality life. He would have been at the vets for the surgery, back in for check ups and medication. I too made the decision not to give my dog chemo because he hated going to the vet and it would have been painful for him. We both made our decision out of the love for our animals.

I think you should feel at peace that you were able to comfort Aries before he was put to sleep. You made the whole experience for him very peaceful.

I am so sorry that you are going thru such a hard time. It is one of the hardest if not the hardest thing to lose a pet, we love them so much and they are such an important part of our lives. Coming on here to talk to us will help you greatly with your grieving process.

Take care,
Rhapsedy

Oh AriesVesta, I'm so very sorry for your loss of Aries. Obviously, you're in a tremendous amount of pain, and it's totally understandable. Six years old is very young to lose a cat. Again, I am so sorry.

If you read through some of the posts here, you will find that guilt and second-guessing is a dominant theme in this rocky road we call the grief journey. EVERYONE questions the choices they made at the end, even if the animal died peacefully in his or her sleep. It's a common denominator amongst those of us who really loved our pets. "Did I do the right thing?"

It sounds to me as if you did ALL the right things. You got lots of good veterinary input, important tests run, good care--and still it seemed like the best choice to let Aries go in a peaceful way. All the procedures you describe would not have bought you and Aries "quality time" together. They might have sustained his life a little longer, but to what end, if he would only have been suffering more?

It sounds like you followed your heart in this, acting on the best possible information you had at the time. You let Aries slip away to a place where he is no longer in pain and humiliation, and that was a very self-less act. Because while his pain is over, your's is just beginning. Things WILL get better with time, please believe me, but right now, you are in the thick of the grieving process, and should be.

Feel the guilt if you need to, but don't let it tear you to pieces. It really sounds as if there was nothing else that you could have done--as if Aries was ready to let go and you let him go at the right time.

Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. You will find a wonderful community here of wise, warm, supportive people, all of whom have gone through the loss of at least one pet, so keep reading and posting!

Big big hugs from Margi, Spiritwolf, and Leopold

I am so sorry for your loss, AriesVesta.

What you're experiencing is completely normal and part of the grieving process. As for whether or not you did the right thing, you did what you knew in your heart was best for Aries and you did it out of love for him. I had to have a cat put to sleep in 2007 who was also very sick with liver disease and the vet told me that while she wasn't in a great deal of pain she most likely felt very sick and uncomfortable. We made the sad decision to let her go and while I held her and told her what a good cat she was we let her go.

The greatest thing you can do for someone is take their pain onto yourself and let them go, and that's what you did for Aries.
The pain does get better... it may not seem like it will but I promise you will eventually feel better. How long depends on the person. You did the right thing in coming here... on this forum you're going to find compassionate people who will give you sympathy, support and encouragement. We're all animal lovers and we all have unfortunately lost a pet, but that common bond allows us to really listen and help someone when they've lost someone special.

Welcome to the forums, and I am so sorry for your loss.

Yes, you made the right decision, and yes it's normal to second guess yourself and question your decision. Just about everyone in this community who's had to euthanize a pet has gone through that process, and it is agonizing. I had similar considerations when I had to put down my cat Flo. She hated going to the vet and she hated the car, and I knew if I'd made any last ditch efforts to keep her alive, that's all her life would have been, getting in the car and going to the vet for treatment after treatment. I knew she didn't want to spend her final days that way. And it sounds like Aries was down to his final days, or his final weeks anyway, even though he was such a young cat.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support.

We are getting his ashes today and plan to bury him at my parents house, its the only place that I know will be permanent that I can visit whenever since we live in an apartment that we don't plan to be in forever.

Deep down I know it was the right thing to do, his quality of life was gone, 5 days...It just hurts so much because of how sudden it was and each vet visit was terrible for both of us. He was fine that week up until Friday. I basically just go about life as best I can, doing anything to not think about him being gone from this life forever, but it seems every hour im reminded of the pain and just get so angry he is gone and there is nothing I can do about it.

His sister is coping ok, she is much more affectionate/clingy and vocal now, she does an odd sounding howl when she looks for him which is heart breaking, we just call her to us and she remembers she could be getting pet rather then meowing and her mood shifts.

Thanks again.

Here is a picture we took of them on the bed a few months ago, they were sleeping before we flashed the camera.

Yes, I would agree with the other responses - you made the right decision. I know it is very difficult and you are going through the "what if" stage. I did the same when we had to make the decision for our Shelby. She had CRF and with the fluid treatment she developed fluid in her chest. The vet said we could treat the chest fluid, but then giving her subq's for the CRF she may develop fluid in the chest again - it would be a back a forth battle. Shelby had severe CRF and even with the fluids she was not improving. When we rushed her to the vet's office for the breathing issue (the fluids on her chest) we made the decision to let her go. I know it was the right decision, but in my heart I just wasn't ready to let go. I knew Shelby was suffering, as was you Aries - we made the most difficult decision out of love.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen

I am so sorry for your loss. What beatiful kitties. Like the others I agree that you made the right decision. As hard as it might seem now you did what had to be done. I lost my cat Nikita seven weeks ago. I had made the decision to have her eutanized but she didn't make it until I could get home from work t take her and she passed at home. The last two weeks she was so sick and we were constantly having to grab her and give her medicines and fluids. I felt so bad; she hated it so much. Between the medications and vet trips and the sickness getting worse and worse we couldn't go on like that any more. The second guessing and what if's are a product of the grief that we all go through. I can't kid you the process is long and hard because of the love we shared with our animal companions. They show us an unconditional love and the loss of that can seem unbearable, but it does get better, little by little each day. There are sympathitic hearts here that will listen and offer support. I'll pray for you. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you.

John

I am so sorry for your loss. I too had to put my cat down at a very young age (8). There is no greater heartbreak than this. Please know that you did the most loving thing for your baby.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too am dealing with the loss of my cat. He had to be put to sleep due to an unexpected illness a week ago tomorrow. It was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever done. Just know that everyone on this forum is here for you...they have been a tremendous help to me. Thinking of you through this difficult time...

Maranda