i thought this was cute, hope it will brighten your day!
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While strolling past a pet shop, a cat notices a sign in the window: Help Wanted. Knowing himself to be no ordinary feline, he saunters into the shop and calls out "Hello! I'd like to apply for the job."

The owner of the pet shop is very amused at the idea of a talking cat, and she wants to hear more, so she plays along, saying "Oh, I'm sorry, but this is a clerical job. We need someone who can type and file."

The cat hastens over to the office typewriter and, quick as a wink, he pounds out something about a quick brown fox and a lazy dog until he has filled a page. He grabs a stack of papers, alphabetizes them by subject matter, and puts them away in the file cabinet in less time than one would expect of a critter who lacks opposable thumbs.

The owner is charmed, but figures she can't possibly hire a cat, so she thinks of another excuse. "You type very nicely, and your filing is flawless, but this job demands computer literacy."

The cat immediately takes his place in front of the computer and, mouse in paw, cruises the Web, gathering useful information about increasing the profitability of pet shops (stopping briefly at Jumbo Joke to see the latest entry).

The owner is stunned. She has got to think of a tactful way to tell this cat that she isn't going to give him a job.

"Well, you're an amazing cat indeed. You type, you file, and you're a computer whiz. But we really, really must have someone who is bilingual."

The cat stares imploringly into the owner's eyes and says "Woof!"

Marc:

Thank you for the cute story which gave me a much needed laugh!!!!!!

Have a bright, sunshine filled day!!!!

Denise

That's really cute and funny. Thanks.

WHY oh WHY do I picture a black cat with green eyes like Edgar when I read this story? GRIN - thanks for the smile

Thanks! Yea, it was very funny and managed to get a smile out of me.

Good one... I actually Laughed Out Loud.

hope this one also helps bring a smile to your face....
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MEMO TO THE FAMILY DOG and CAT

1. When I say move, it means go someplace else. It does not mean switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food. All other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note: placing a paw print in the middle of my dinner does not stake your claim on it, nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in any way.)

3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a CALIFORNIA king size bed. Locate your inner beast and remember that sleeping animals can actually curl up in a ball. So it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

5. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

6. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom alone. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it won't help to claw, whine, meow, bite the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. (Trust me, I have been using the bathroom for years.. canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)

7. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to make a sudden leap onto my stomach and drop a chewtoy, bone or jingleball on my crotch, no matter how much that makes other family members laugh.

8. Dog: Don't think for a minute that making a sad face and whimpering pathetically will get you out of trouble when I find a puddle of pee on the carpet. The face and the whimpering only validate that you knew it was wrong when you did it.

9. Cat: My sitting down to bite into a juicy sandwich is not a signal for you to begin gagging loudly and then hocking up the most disgusting hairball in history.

10. Dog and Cat: The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself.I cannot stress this enough.


To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door: Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and complain about our pets:

1. They live here; you don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my pet better than I like most people.

4. To you it's an animal. To me, it's is an adopted child who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech-challenged.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to train, usually come when called, don't ask for money, never drive your car, don't hang out with losers, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. And if they get pregnant, you can sell the results

Hi Marc:

Put a huge smile on my face ............and, I started laughing and Mr. Yoster was looking at me, as if to say, "Whadda you reading, mom???"

I especially love #4, about the bed.......
We have a Queen, and always joke (though it's probably "not a joke"), that we really, really need a larger bed.....

Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster will stretch out to their fullest capacity...............

Sometimes, I go to bed 1st................and, of course the kids come in to go to sleep with mom........

When Daddy comes in a couple of hours later..........he'll turn the light on (doesn't bother me), but both kids will look at him (with really sleepy, squinty eyes), as if to say.............. "Hey dad, you should've been here a long time ago......We were here first..............."

But......Ben will put Ms. Lucy at the foot of the bed, on my side (good thing I'm not quite 5'2" tall)....., and Mr. Yoster usually jumps off the bed -- why not have the couch to himself??.........

And, I love #1 as well..........about "Move, please".......They just stay there to trip you up.....

The whole thing is "funtastic"!!!

Thanks for the laughs!!!!

Denise

Yes, thanks MD. I like all of them. I smiled too, a lot.
Marcia

they say laughter is the best medicine

Those were good. I especially laughed at number 9 in the memo but I'm a little wierd anyway LOL.

i found that one close to my heart too

Very funny! It's nice to read something that brings a smile to my face Thank you!
Like Denise, I really get a chuckle out of #4. We went from a "regular" double sized bed, to a queen sized bed and finally to a king sized bed! However, the more room we made in bed, the more they felt we created just for them to stretch out even more.

We live in a draughty old bungalow and one year many moons ago we decided to let the girls sleep on the bottom of the bed up from the drafts.

Jude slowly crept up between us and in the middle of the night I woke up wondering why I couldn’t move my legs.

Sadie had gotten really cosy and had gone into such a deep sleep she wet herself, you could see the trail of wee leading out into the hall as she’d obviously woken and realised what was happen.

I pulled back the quilt and woke my husband who immediately assumed the he himself had wet the bed.

I nearly wet myself from laughing at the look on his face.

Happy memories - have any of you ever tried to lift a wet quilt they weigh a ton.

Love Sue

Hi All!!!

CheriAnn....................We just may have to get a KING SIZED BED..............
Of course, up here in New England.......it's going to get cold & snowy (just the way I love it!!! ), and the
kids enjoy sleeping with us now.........
Ms. Lucy will either spend the night at the bottom of our bed (my side, near my feet), so I leave a good 10 inches for
her (of course, you know that's NOT ENOUGH!!!! ),
or, she'll sleep on my pillow..........
She gets 2/3rds of it........while my head is barely on the pillow....

As for Mr. Yoster, he spends his time right near dad's feet.........No problem there.... If he doesn't stay there, he'll just go out to the couch where he has a lovely warm blanket that he can snuggle up in....

But, we do need a KING SIZED BED...........I'd like to have a lil' room.....



Sue...............I love the story about Sadie's pee......so comfortable that she just "let loose"...........and, your husband
thinking that it was him........
That's a riot!!!
I'll bet the look on his face was worth a million!!!!

Thanks for sharing, my friends...

Love, Denise

I liked the saying I like my pet better than I like most people. It's true for me.

And human like to go to the bathroom alone. I use to have a Shelty who would scratch at the door until I would let her in. She never like closed doors.

Thanks for the smile,
Vicki

....nice to share such happy bedtime stories
Which brings to mind....even with the king size bed, there never seems to be enough room. When Danny was a small puppy (he was taken from his mother too early when we rescued him at 6 weeks old), because he was so small, I used to put him in bed between us to make sure he didn't roll off the bed and hurt himself, or get lonely during the night. Unfortunately, that's where he always wants to sleep, and he's three years old now! My husband is always telling me that Danny is my "birth control" dog

Cheri

Hi Cheri:

Yep..................that'll work all the time...........
Great birth control method!!

Everynight now, I just look at both of our kitties on the bed, stretched out to "full capacity", and I just
have to laugh.............

We just got our bed a few years ago, but I would LOVE A KING SIZED ONE!!!...........

(We'll put the Queen one in another room for Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster), but, something tells me that
whatever bed Ben and I are in.........the kids are sure to follow......

Thinking of you!!!
Love, Denise, Ben, Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster