My precious angel passed away on July 9th 2010. She had suffered mammary cancer 2 years ago and I had her mammary chain removed. They said 6 months to live but I got her for 2 more years. She started getting fluid in her lungs in April and last week she started panting and her heart was beating out of her chest.

I went to the vet and made a decision within 15 min. I feel so guilty. Does she hate me for it. Maybe she could have survived. Is it my fault that I moved in to a new place July 1st and caused her unnecessary stress ?

I cant live without her. But: I have her 4 year old son Harley who is visibly depressed and whales every-time I get ready to leave.


What should I do? I went to the shelter today and saw so many beautiful babies but they were not my Mysza. I know she cannot be replaced but I feel such a huge void and so does her son. Is it too soon to get a companion for him? will my baby girl hate me for introducing a new member to the family. I feel as if I am disposing her memory or something. Help

Harley is 4 years old. He know only me or his late mother. If I decide to get another cat should I be choosing a female older cat or kitten or a male older cat or kitten.


My heart is broken and all I can think about is the many years left on this planet without her. I beg for her to come to me in a dream or something but so far nothing. I fall asleep sobbing and wake up sobbing uncontrollably

I am so sorry for the lost of Myszka. Everyone here knows the pain you are going through. I still cry all the time over the loss of my sweet Lexa. So glad I found this site where I am able to express my feelings over the loss. I hope this forum brings you comfort too during this hard time. Know you are in my thoughts.

Michelle

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Myszka. I am sure that you did what was right for her. In our hearts we know what we should do, but our minds question this afterwards. She knows that you made your decision out of your love for her.
As for the finding a new fur baby for you and Harley, I'm afraid I can't really offer much advice. I waited 6 months after losing my Angels, but for everyone it is different. Go with your heart. whatever you decide it does not diminish your love for Myszka, in a way it honours that love. She would want you to do what makes you feel happier, and knows how much she is loved.
I am sending my love and prayers for you at this heartbreaking time.
Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through. I wish I could hug you through the computer because I know too well the desperation you're feeling. I would like to write a longer reply to you but will have to do it later as I am work right now. I just couldn't pass up sending something to you because I know the panic you're in. Hang in there, you're about to get alot of replies from people who know just what you're feeling. This forum is a wonderful place when you need a hand to hold.
-Donna

Myszka,

I am so, so sorry for your loss. It is still so very raw - I bet it hurts to even breathe right now? But make sure you do - just breathe, and take each painful moment as it comes. I know you feel empty and lost inside. We have all been there, and it sucks.

Please know that you made the right decision. You loved your baby and you couldn't bare to see her in pain. How can she hate you for ending her suffering and setting her free? She loves you even more for it.

If you want my personal, honest opinion - then I think maybe it is a little too soon for another kitty. You're still trying to come to terms with things, your mind is probably all over the place, and not really ready to make a decision like this. But as Jan said, everyone is different. If you feel it is the right thing to do, and feel in your heart that you're ready, then do it. But please don't make any rash decisions - you could regret it, or it could cause you feelings of guilt.

Hang in there and keep posting to let us know how you're getting on.

Sending you big hugs - Cheryl xx

My Myszka was my everything. I am waiting for her ashes and I bet that will be a hard pill to swallow that day too. I've had pets my whole life but they were always somebody's in the family. She was the only one really Mine. I got her at 19 years of age and she lived through all the turbulence of my 20's and first part of my 30's.

I went to the shelter today and held a few cats and kittens and I wanted to cry. I looked at some of them and all I was able to say is 'your not my cat' but then I looked at this one and I couldn't say that she purred and snuggled so immediately I'm still at odds.

I want Myszka back but I know she is gone. Can I give the love to another cat that I gave her. And I sooo worry about my little boy Harley being alone for so many hours each day.

Hi, Myszka, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your precious Myszka. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is never an easy decision to make, but it's the last act of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can be released from their painful physical bodies.

Myszka, this grief journey is filled with so many different emotions - - sometimes tumbling over one another at the same time. Sometimes they are so consuming that we feel we will go insane. But I want to assure you that what you are feeling is very normal for this grief journey.

When it comes to bringing new furkids into our hearts and homes, that is an answer that can only come from you, Myszka. But rest assured, if you do decide to adopt another precious furkid, your precious Myszka knows that she has her own place in your heart and memories - - her very own place that no one will ever be able to take. Some folks find it comforting to adopt quickly after a loss for they find having another precious furchild to focus on helps comfort them through the grieving process. Some folks prefer to wait until the deep grief has passed when they are better able to focus emotionally on a new life. And some folks prefer to do rescue foster care - - this is temporary care of a furchild who is waiting for a new home.

I do understand your concern about your little Harley. He just needs your love and attention, and this will be comforting for the both of you.

Myszka, one of the many important things for you to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Myszka, and please let us know how you and Harley are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm so so sorry for the loss of your dear Mysza. I lost my Nikita five weeks ago. When I got her ashes back it was a very hard day but I'm so glad I have them. I know what you mean about the shelter cats. I went to Petsmart the other night and they have cats from a local shelter for adoption and when I saw them I couldn't help but cry. I did get a puppy but that was something I had thought about for quite some time now, long before I lost Nik. I'm not ready to get another cat just yet. As you come here you will find amazing similarities in the grief process that we go through when we lose one of our dear loved ones. The sadness, emptiness and despair can seem unbearable at times but it does get better. Those of us here have gone through and are still going throught the same things. The grief is a process; try to be strong you will always have Mysza in your heart. My heart goes out to you, again I'm so sorry I feel your grief.

John

Hi Myszka
I have to tell you the link you posted for Zola's mommy please make a seperate post and title it for everyone with guilt a must to read. Thank you so uch for posting it. Thinking of you and you precious angel also.

Hugs
Anna and my Angels
xoxo

Like everyone so honestly expressed to you, it's such a devastating time you are going thru. The final act of putting down our loved one, when they are ill and in pain, is also the final act of our undying love for them. From what you explained, it was time, please, even though you may feel it, you have nothing to be guilty about. There can be no replacing Mysza. And Harley most assuredly is aware of the loss and grief. I agree with what others have said, that your mind is racing, your heart is aching, the pain is unbearable, and you are looking for someway to get your Mysza back.

16 years ago today I got my precious Kota. A little over 2 months ago I lost her to old age and illness. I still grieve severely. But it's a different process for everyone. I have gotten to the point where I sometimes look online at other pets but then realize I'm not ready now. Like Cheryl said, to be honest, it sounds a bit soon to get a replacement, as there can be no replacement. Thankfully you have Harley who really needs you now and vice versa. Others though have gotten a new pet within days. I'd say to please come back and write here what you are feeling, daily, or hourly. Little comfort can be had in this time of tragedy. It's so hard, and unbelievable. The fact that you are here is evidence of your love for Mysza. Peaceful thoughts are being sent to you from myself and others.

Dennis

Last night was good until after midnight I just curled up and wept and wept and wept. I went to a few shelters today and spent nearly 4 hours just petting them all and giving them a tight squeeze. Im back home and now its Harleys turn. Tomorrow at 12:13pm it will be 1 week since I lost my muffin.


Am I losing my mind I cant rid that empty lonely feeling.

No, you're not losing your mind although it can feel like it at times. It does get better with time. I know for myself things like instinctivly looking for Nik in her usual places then remembering that she's not there; or opening the door carefully because she might be behind to greet me start to fade. But other things still trigger memories and feelings. The other night I laid in bed and tried to remember her meow exactly and couldn't; that made me so sad. Sometimes I would get mad at her for waking me up too early for breakfast; oh what I wouldn't give to her her talking to me again. The grieving is a process that passes through many phases with good days and bad, good hours and sudden reminders that send us into despair. This is all a testimony to the deep unconditional love that we shared with them. Try to stay strong it will be hard but it will get better; you have many shoulders to cry on here with those of us who truly understand.

John

You're not losing your mind even though it feels like it. This grief process is like being in the ocean. It surrounds you and you bob along and then a wave comes and crashes you to the bottom and then pulls you up again to bob along again. It's cruel and confusing. But you're not going crazy. You loved and cared for your Myszka for a long time. Those routines and that love just don't go away in a few days.
It's been a little over a month since we lost the last of our 3 babies. We lost all three within 10 months of one another. They were 15 and 11 1/2. My husband still tells me that you just don't get over loving something for that long so fast. My next door neighbor lost her 16-year old dog recently and she told me yesterday that it took her 3 months just to stop thinking she'd be at the door when she comes home. Three months just to stop trying to talk to her in the next room. I'm still thinking I hear our last boy panting. I still feel one of my cats walk across the bed. They become so much a part of us and everything we do that it's like an amputation when they go.
I'm so sorry for you, Myszka's mom. My heart goes out to you for your grief and your decision to get another. Like Moonbeam said, no one can make that decision for you. Everyone is different. I also went to Petsmart just to see. Then I started going to all the Petsmarts and Petcos. I got confused. It was too soon for me. I ended up rescuing 2 cats - neither one through an adoption agency. The reasons are long and complicated. But even though I felt I had to do it, I regretted it. They're part of our house now but not my heart. I don't know if I'll ever "connect" with them. But I just tell myself I'm providing a home for them that they didn't have. They're safe.
I would give yourself a little more time, if you can. Love on Harley. Give him all your love, as I'm sure you're doing. He doesn't miss a companion. He misses HIS companion, just as you do. Please keep us posted on whatever your decision is, though. And also on how you're doing.
-Donna

Today at 12:13pm it will be one week without my Myszka. I am at work but cannot cope.... I just dont see the point in going on. I ant believe I has so many more tears to cry.

I miss her deeply

Don't give up hope for yourself. The one week mark is hard. And one month and six months and on and on. But the milestones do get "easier", I promise. I understand where you are. Many times I've laid down and said that I felt like I could just draw my last breath. That I was so close to letting the sorrow take me over.
But you can't let it. You have Harley. Being at work is very very hard, I know. It's so unhealthy to bottle things up but when you're at work, you have no choice. Then when you get off work, it all comes out like a fountain. It's very frightening when that happens to me.
But you can make it. There is reason to go on. Keep posting. All of us have been exactly where you are right this minute and we're still here. We need you.
-Donna

I went to work the day after my Flo died. I found it impossible to focus. I've been on vacation this week because I just wasn't getting any work done, and I thought it would be good for me to get out of the house for a while. Monday I go back. That will be almost four weeks since Flo died. I'm not sure what to expect. One thing that makes it easier for me is that I all the people I work with have pets, so they're very understanding.

Hi Hon-

I'm so sorry for your loss of your precious Myszka. I can tell that you really, really loved her, and I know that she really, really loved you.

This grief journey that we're all on is a very rocky road indeed. The first week can feel so painful that you really do NOT know how you can go on existing. We give our all to our pets, and they to us, and it's very very hard when we lose our beloveds. I'm six weeks into the grieving process for my wolfdog, Ladywolf, and the pain is getting softer now--it's not nearly so sharp. My memories aren't fading, however, in fact, I'm remembering new things about her all the time.

As others have said, whether or not, and when, to get a new cat is a decision that only you can make. You really have to follow your heart on that one. Don't act too fast would be my advice. But only you can know when the time is right. I often wait for an animal to find ME, rather than going out and seeking one. That's how I ended up with my new Bengal kitten--Leopold the Terrible. A friend asked me at a convenience store if I wanted to adopt a free exotic kitten a month after Ladywolf passed on. I was bored at the time, and ready (I guess--he's driving me totally NUTS today!) Ladywolf found me too, as did her sister Poppers, who died six months ago. They basically just showed up in my driveway. (It was little more complicated than that, but the stories are too long to tell...)

My heart goes out to you. I really feel your pain and am sorry that you have to endure this now...

Big big hugs from Margi, Spiritwolf, and Leopold

Hi, Myszka, unfortunately, sadly, there is no easy way through this grief journey. Grieving is very stressful, which inflicts other side effects like lack of concentration, insomnia, lack of energy, lack of appetite, etc.. Just when you think you have no more tears left in you to cry, waves of crying - - deep gut wrenching sobbing - - can overwhelm you.

Myszka, right now it does feel like it's impossible to go on. This grief journey is very painful - - both physically and emotionally, particularly in the beginning. Just take it one day at a time, Myszka. And please know we are here with you and for you every step of this journey.

Please know you and your precious Harley are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam