We brought home our new puppy yesterday. Her name is Dori and we are absolutely in love with her. It's so strange to me because I'm very happy with her, yet I miss Cooper so much. It's kind of like I'm starting to feel normal again but that makes me sad because I don't want my "normal" to be without Coop. I keep thinking about all the things he's missing out on. I'm so grateful for Dori. She really has brought joy back into our home. And she seems to love our other dog Rudy. I think they'll be great friends. But it's so bittersweet.

I am so glad you have brought a new puppy into your home and heart. I know your cooper is happy to see you loving again. I too am looking for a puppy to bring into our lives but so afraid that it will just make me think of my angels more. Has bringing Dori into your life make you miss him your angel more if that is possible? I want another puppy to love but just so afraid that it will just bring back so many emotions. Please post a picture of your Dori we would love to see her. keep us posted on how she and Rusty are doing.

Hugs
Anna and my Angels

I don't think Dori has made me miss Coop more. It's kind of a distraction because she's pretty hyper and we have to watch her all the time. For me, it kind of feels like it's made me accept more that Cooper is gone. I still think of him all the time but I'm not quite as sad. I'm just sad for him that he's missing out on so much, but I don't think that feeling will go away for quite some time. We're really enjoying our third baby.

Dear MHC,

I think it's very cool you bringing home Dori...what breed is she? Last year after my sister and her husband lost their dog suddenly, they got a rescue dog three weeks later. Since my Kota died, they have lent me their dog a few times to have some company in my empty home. I find that having him around here once in awhile takes away some of the emptiness and forces me to get outside. I'm not ready for another one now...need to get a job, and want to move out of this house and get resettled to kind of start over. I always thought that if I had died before Kota, I would want her to go to someone who would love and care for her. I think that Cooper wants the same for you. You are not replacing Cooper, you are just allowing yourself to express the love that is inside you, for another companion whom needs a family who will love and provide for him/her. Tell Dori about Cooper. I'm sure as time goes by that Dori's individual personality traits will come to be unique and special to your heart. Like someone else just said, post a pic when you can. Congrats. You'll never forget or nor stop loving Cooper.

Dennis

Thank you for responding. I am so happy for youand Dori. She is one lucky puppy to have you to love her. And we will be lucky here to get to know her through you. Give her a big kiss for me.

Hugs
Anna

Dori is a schnoodle. Schnauzer poodle mix. I will try to post a pic tomorrow as I don't have them loaded yet. She really is such a sweet girl. And my coop is a sweet boy. He will always be my little man.

I'm glad you are enjoying Dori and I know exactly what you mean about being conflicted although my story is alittle different. We got our third dog, a rescue Rat Terrier about 6 months before Brutus passed away. Brutus was 12 (my soul dog), Radar was 9 (hubby's soul dog) when we got Tanga (Tanga was 1 at the time). We got Tanga in anticipation of Brutus being gone, we did not want Radar to be alone. Brutus hated Tanga with a passion so I did not bond with Tanga until long after Brutus was gone, which I feel guilty about for Tanga, but I just couldn't, I felt like I was "cheating" on Brutus. At times I still feel that way, but Brutus will always be #1. Tanga has been a godsend for us...and for Radar....he stayed in the backround while Brutus was here, but really blossomed afterward. My husband did not want Tanga at the time we got him, but he always says now how glad he is we got him. Tanga is now "my" dog and follows me everywhere. I don't know how I would handle Brutus being gone if I didn't have him. I love all my dogs with all my heart, but Brutus will always be "special".

It's ok to love again...it really is...it feels good doesn't it? You deserve it (as does Dori) and Cooper wants you to be happy...that is really all he cares about.

Hugs,
Sonya

I'm so glad Tanga helped heal your heart. I really think Dori will do the same. She is just the sweetest little girl. We'd always thought about getting a third dog. Rudy is ten and we didn't want Cooper to be alone. However, Cooper tended to be dog aggressive, except to Rudy. I think other dogs scared him. So my plan was, when I picked him up after getting his teeth cleaned, to talk to the vet about changing this behavior. Sadly, I never got to pick him up. A couple weeks later, we tried to adopt a bichon rescue. But it was too soon. I just couldn't love her yet. She was such a sweet girl though. But my sister-in-law took her in and she now loves her new home and we still get to visit with her. We thought a puppy would be best for us and Rudy. We just weren't in the right frame of mind to deal with the issues of a rescue. Dori seems to be fitting in wonderfully. She loves Rudy, follows him everywhere. Rudy is adjusting. lol. A puppy is a little rough for a ten year old. She's also not like Cooper at all, which is good. But Cooper will always be my "special" guy. I'll always love him. He was my doggy soul mate.

I'm so glad it's working out. Of course like Cooper, Brutus will always be that special dog...I still miss him terribly but having Tanga has helped alot. I'm sure Rudy and Dori will be great buddies too. I was worried because Radar really loved Brutus and he ignored Tanga while Brutus was here...Tanga really got the short end of the stick for a few months...I feel bad about that...but within a couple days of Brutus being gone Radar totally changed his attitude toward Tanga...I think it was more of a pack thing than any real emotional attachment to Brutus...of course Radar was attached to him but Brutus was the leader and since Brutus didn't like Tanga Radar stayed away from him too. It was strange watching Radar change so much...he almost became a different dog...more playful and loving....Radar knew Brutus was near the end and acted accordingly...staying with Brutus constantly...my house is so different now...not better but it's good...there still is alittle missing though...alittle piece of my heart.

Your story of what happened to Cooper has really struck me...I used to have my dogs teeth cleaned by the vet yearly but now I am afraid to...I am so sorry what happened to you and Coop.

Hugs,
Sonya

I know exactly what you mean. It's been almost 3 weeks since I lost my baby Sluggo, who was my special little boy. I'm so grateful for my other two dogs and I have been trying to give them lots of love but sometimes it makes me think that this is affection I'm not giving it to Sluggo and worse, it makes me think that if I keep doing that, I am forgetting him. I know in my heart I could never forget him, and I will never stop missing him. I don't want to have my "normal" be without him either. There are so many mixed emotions in this journey. But I have tried to remember that love is forever, and the love we have with every one of them is significant and always part of us.
Tracey

I'm missing my little boy so much today. The guilt is starting to rear it's ugly head again. All I can think about is I made the decision that led to his death. I chose to change his vet, chose his new vet, chose to have his teeth cleaned, didn't brush his teeth. I look at his pictures and see him doing things around the house and can't think of anything but that he is gone forever. I will never see him again. He was only five and is missing out on so much. I still feel like this isn't happening. It's a bad dream. He'll be home one day.

My heart--

Cooper was such a precious little boy. He really is one of the cutest things I have ever seen. No wonder you miss him so much...

The guilt you are feeling is natural, I think, but totally not grounded in the reality of what happened. You did NOT do anything wrong! All you did was love your dog to pieces and try to take really good care of him.

Unfortunately, accidents happen all the time. People "choose" to get on a bus that crashes? People "choose" to get a deadly virus that kills them? People "choose" to get struck by lightning? See how silly all that sounds? You made a perfectly natural decision--to get your doggie's teeth cleaned, and that is ALL you did. You had nothing to do with the outcome. How could you have possibly known that a terrible accident was going to occur?

Feel the guilt if you must, but don't let it tear you apart. It's all just terribly, terribly sad, and I'm so so sorry that you are having to endure this complicated grieving process.

All love from Margi, Spiritwolf, and Leopold the Holy Terror

Hi MHC,

I totally agree with what Margi says. Please try to change your thought processes into thinking that way. Deep down you know it makes more sense.

You've also mentioned a few times that "Cooper is missing out on so much" This is a natural thought, but again if you really think about it, it doesn't make much sense in reality. Coop doesn't know that he is missing out on anything. He isn't in doggy heaven, or rainbow bridge, and looking down thinking, "Man, if only I was still physically alive then I could do this, or that..." Cooper's time on Earth was too short, but I bet he enjoyed every single minute of it, and his five years were full of love. Please try to stop dwelling on 'what could have been' and take comfort in knowing that during his time here you loved him with all your heart. You COULD NOT have done anything more than that.

I hope that Dori continues to bring you smiles. Your Coop would want his mummy to be happy.

Would love to see some pics of Dori as soon as you are able.

Big hugs -- Cheryl x

Thank you so much.

Ladywolf - It does make sense when you think of it that way you said.

Cheryl - I'm not sure if I believe in heaven. Sometimes, it's easier to think that he is just gone. That way I know he is not suffering or knowing that he is missing out. But that is selfish of me. I do like to think there is a heaven and he is there. I guess if there is a heaven, it's the best place ever so he would be happy there. I just don't want him to miss us or be sad in any way.

And he did love life so much. And he was loved so much, by everyone that knew him, especially me.

I've been trying to post a pic of Dori but can't figure out how. lol. If someone can let me know, I'll put one up.

Tiffany

Tiffany (nice name!)

It's actually pretty easy to post a picture. Use the "Add Reply" rather than the "Fast Reply" option. Go to the "Choose" option on the lower right. This allows you to browse through your stored photos. Click on the desired photo, then click "upload" on that "choose" line. You can do that several times. It happens fast--after you hit "upload," the line is empty again, ready for you to choose another photo if you want to.

Janika used to do this for me; if you still have trouble, I'd be happy to have you email me some pix and I'll upload them for you. Just pm me.

I don't know if there's a heaven either--but if there isn't one, then Cooper is "just gone," as you say, and not missing out on anything, and if there is one, then don't you imagine that he is totally happy, and not missing out on anything, there? That's what heaven is supposed to be all about, isn't it?

I'm sure he was dearly loved and he dearly loved you. Try to enjoy your memories of him--I know, much easier said than done. But give it a try, for Dori's sake too!

Hugs from Margi, Spiritwolf, and Leopold the Holy Terror

Ok. I'll have to try this from home. My pictures are too big to load. Thanks for the help.

I too keep thinking about all Lexa is missing...not sure there is a heaven either but do hope so now so I can someday be with my baby again.
Cooper is so cute. I know how much you miss him. Glad you have Dori.

Michelle