It's been eight weeks this Saturday since I lost my little guy and I'm so sick and tired of being told that I shouldn't be feeling the way I am. I think I'm doing ok. I have the odd day when it hits hard again and I'm very emotional but on the whole life is going on. Today I was trying to hold back the tears and told my husband that I was feeling rough, he tried to change the subject and I asked him not to as I needed to let it out. I told him that I'd had a hard time when he'd been cradling a family members little dog in his arms as he used to do with our little guy and he basically yelled at me that he'd hold any dog any way he wished. That set me off crying and led to a big row. He said I'm carrying around old ghosts. I'd had my furbaby for nearly sixteen years and I know it's going to take me a long time to get over his passing. Am I abnormal? Is he being insensitive? I'm very confused right now and if anyone has come up against similiar situations I'd be most appreciative of any insight. Thankyou

Don't feel bad about your grieving; as I am finding out it is a process and i too sometimes think I must be crazy. I'm in the third week since losing my Nik and each day brings something different. I had a somewhat similar experience with my wife the other night. We got Nik's ashes back and I had planned to have a little memorial for her. My wife said ok but it was obvious that she really didn't want to; she loved Nik but we have only been married a few years so she had not been with her as long as I had and did not have the same bond as I had. Finally my emotions being frayed I got mad and went off and had the memorial myself but I was hurt and angry at my wife and hardly spoke to her the rest of the night. Then I began to think that everyone deals with grief differently and maybe the thought of a memorial was too much for her. Also I realised that holding anger towards her would not help either of us deal with the grief of losing Nik. As I am finding out this place is a wonderful place to come and share our pain with others that know what we are going through and won't judge us for loving our pets and missing them so badly. Also we can come here to vent and share our feelings with those who have been through and are going through the same thing.

John.

Missing her so badly,

In a word - NO - you are not abnormal. You only need to read through other people's threads to see that there are people who know EXACTLY what you're going through. Most of us are here because we find it hard to explain our feelings to others outside the forum who don't really understand. There are people who love their pets - and then their are people like us. Our pets were our babies that we loved completely with all our hearts, and felt a deep connection with. The pain we feel is just as real as a human loss would be. Don't feel bad for feeling so upset. Grief IS upsetting. It's an emotional rollercoaster that takes it all out of you. The fact that you're hurting so badly only proves how much you loved your little guy.

If you can't talk to anyone else, keep coming here. Keep posting and letting us know how you're feeling. Don't bottle things up, as you will never heal if you do. We are all here for you, and we all understand

I am so very sorry for you loss.

Thinking of you. Cheryl xx

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and not getting the support you feel like you need. I'm not surprised that you're having a hard time, though, because 16 years is a really long time. You can't get over it in 8 weeks. Don't feel bad about feeling bad. We are all right here in this same boat and we understand. Although my husband has been supportive, sometimes I feel bad knowing he sees my grief so I come here to express it freely. We've lost 3 babies in recent months with the most recent only 3 weeks ago. So we're both still in the fresh grief process.
But I'm sorry you're feeling alone in this. Not knowing your husband, I can't say whether he's being unreasonable but his reaction sort of sounds like he's dealing with his own grief in a different way. You know, men are sometimes different from us when it comes to freely showing their emotions. It's sad but it just seems more "acceptable" for us to openly grieve and not so much for them. Like I said, I don't know but I do know you shouldn't feel bad about where you are right now. You said that you are functioning so that's good. It sounds like you have your moments and I think that's exactly where you're supposed to be right now.
Please keep posting here and reading other people's journeys. We all heal at different rates. And I think most of us are functioning but we come here when we're feeling we need support. So I hope you feel supported. This is a long hard road and none of us know each other personally but I've found tremendous help here. Losing so much so quickly, I would've gone crazy without this forum!
-Donna

Dear Missing,

What was/is your little guy's name? My Kota was with me for 15 years, 9 mths and 23 days, and it's been 7-1/2 weeks since I lost her. So we are on the same timetable. I'm sorry for your loss. It's all the people around you, whom make you feel like your supposed to hold back the tears...they are ones that are abnormal. I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing that 16 years with your loved one, was a major part of your adult life. I just wanted to recognize your loss, pain and that you are sane. Grief can be relentless, being triggered off by the smallest of things. Myself, I feel like I have an eternally perpetually breaking heart now. Do you have a picture of him? Hang in there.

Dennis

hi i just wanted to say that i know what that feels like ,and you have to let yourself feel like that when ever you want ,its a very hard thing to get over a pets passing ,not everybody will understand that .When my jeannie passed many people i know didn't understand why it was so hard and thought i shouldn't dwell on it and just 'move on' and .Its a year and i still have very emotional moments about it ,please give your self time ,Its not abnormal at all to be upset about it .its normal part of grieving 16 years is a long time you cant get over it that fast .everbody has there own pace,please know that everybody here understands and talking here does help,hope you start to feel a bit better over time take