It seems as though every little thing sets me off. We went to a car show yesterday and I saw a woman carrying a little dog around and I had to leave. I couldn't hold it together. I no longer have my little dog. Is it getting easier for anyone? I feel like it never will. I keep reading of people being devastated for months and years. I need some hope that I won't feel like this forever.

Hi, My Heart Cooper, what you are feeling is perfectly normal for this deep grief. For some folks it is very painful to see other people with their beloved companions who seem to be healthy and have a full life ahead of them. It's a reminder - - a painful reminder - - of the huge hole that is in our hearts and lives with our losses.

Yes, My Heart Cooper, this deep grief will eventually lessen, but it's just going to take time - - time right now that feels like there is no end in sight. Does the sadness of loss ever really go away? Not completely, no, - - and this is normal because the physical loss of our beloved companions will always leave an empty place in our lives - - just as the physical loss of a family member or friend does. BUT in time the deep grief will lessen so that you can once again embrace your Cooper's sweet Living Spirit in your heart and memories, and instead of feeling the deep pain of loss you will once again be able to smile when you think of him - - and when you talk to him. He is still with you even now, My Heart Cooper, and always will be - - he always will be sharing your life as he always has - - just differently. It is difficult to understand this right now because your deep grief is so painful.

My Heart Cooper, I hope this helps to comfort and reassure you in some way. This grief journey is a very painful one, and can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. Just remember you are not alone in your journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, My Heart Cooper, and please continue to let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

My heart cooper,

I agree with Moon Beam. I was having a terrible time coping, and I seriously thought I was slipping into depression. I decided I had to try something to take a different approach to dealing with the grief. Before Daisy's death, I was never a spiritual person. I'm not a religious person. But I decided to believe that Daisy IS still with me. I started to read spiritual magazines, and read about a ritual to communicate with your deceased pet. Light a red candle, close your eyes and picture Cooper in your mind, then tell him that you love him, and miss him, and that you want him to come to you. When you open your eyes, the flame on the candle should be flickering vigourously. This means your baby has made contact. I was really skeptical at first - but it worked for me. I held out my hand and stroked my baby, tickled her chin, like she used to love. I thought I might get upset; but I didn't. I felt so calm and peaceful. Afterwards, I had the best nights sleep I'd had since she passed.

Try to get your mind to thinking that Cooper's passing is not a loss, but a transition. He may not be physically with you, but he is with you. I know he is. My heart Cooper - keep talking to Cooper as if he is right infront of you. I talk to Daisy all the time, in my "baby voice" that was only for her. Just hearing myself speak in that tone makes me feel close to her.

You will always miss him; and you will always have bad days. But you WILL start to heal. All wounds eventually heal, no matter how deep - but the bad ones always leave a scar.

Thinking of you. Cheryl xx

Actually, I find it easier to relate to pets than people. When I go to my sister's house, they have a rescue dog they got last year after their dog passed. I come to visit my sister's family just to see their dog. Then last night I was at a big 60th birthday bash, outside with bands. No dogs were allowed, but hundreds of people. Some friends who lost both their dogs on the same day got a rescue dog a month later. They brought the dog, and I spent hours playing with it instead of dancing or socializing. So, for me, I find more comfort in being around animals, though I agree, that I constantly ruminate about my lost Kota. I don't know how, when or if the pain really lessens. Some people here say it does, for me, it is still as intense and painful as ever. Hang in there.

Dennis

yes it does get eventually easier... each and every time is different and there's no real pattern for it. generally at least for me, the progress is slow enough that i really don't notice it day to day, and of course what feels like setbacks are bound to occur-sometimes for some obscure reason (i myself struggle with things the same color(s) as them, and see them out of the corner of my eye.) some days, i don't want it to get better, almost as if it doesn't do them justice...like i've loved them forever and now it's time to hurt equally as long. irrational i know, but plain as day in my heart. this time, i'm having to cope with resignation and dread too, now that 3 of 4 are gone...the majority (feels so weird to even say that.) i wish i had magic words to type but there's just no easy way through coping with it, especially when it smacks you out of the blue. we've lost friends, but also family. allow yourself time to do things when you can, even if well-meaning people ever say you should be moving along. that's the only way it will be healthy for you. i put my oliver's ashes in his urn and collected his toys for the box the day i brought him home (and cried and cried) but couldn't do it for lily for at least 2 weeks. when i did, i literally had to force myself to take the steps (left,right,left) and i just kissed what was left. no rhyme or reason why. i pick up max on wed. and i have no clue as to what i'll do. my sister told me after lily died that i'm on a spiritual journey-and that they generally aren't pleasant, especially in the beginning. part of our jouneys is posting here, which does help even if you want to talk about/to cooper or if you want to talk about a bad (or good) day, etc. and it helps us too to read them. sometimes, i could have posted another's words myself and it makes me cry, but usually in a good way, almost like a purging. day by day, minute by minute...it's really all we can do.

hugs and prayers for you,
sarah

My heart Cooper, sometimes it's one step forward and two steps back. Sometimes it's one step forward and fifteen steps back, for me! Even though I'm still in the wake of losing my third in such a short time, I can tell you that it does ease up. I've found that my breakdowns are just as intense, just not as frequent. Don't feel alone. I still have those weak, blurry, frantic, suffocatingly lonely moments where my grief literally takes over my whole body. Usually for me, it's in the early evening. That was kind of Buck's time with us.
I'm sorry you're hurting. I keep telling myself that I'm going to get out there and do something for someone less fortunate than me. I know that will help me in return. I haven't made it out there yet, though.
I hope your day will be better tomorrow. I hope you have sweet dreams of Cooper tonight and that you wake up feeling comforted.
-Donna

It will get better, it really will....but you will have setbacks and that is why I feel so lucky to have found this site. It's been almost 8 months for me....and I can assure you, it will get easier to deal with your pain. I'm not sure that pain ever totally goes away, but you learn to deal with it and function. But I too after close to a year still have setbacks, that sometimes last for days... Hang in there.

Hugs,
Brutus' Mom