Yesterday morning, my husband had a surprise extra day off of work, and we decided to treat our sweet Zoe to a trip to her favorite park. We just had a baby 4 weeks ago, and we were just starting to get adjusted to new parenthood and Zoe was just starting to adjust to the new addition. We thought that a trip to her favorite park on a beautiful day would be a great way for her to get her energy out.

We packed up Zoe and the carseat and the stroller and went to the huge off-leash park, where we spent over two hours taking Zoe to her favorite spots: she ran, she swam, she fetched sticks. We were out with our new family, feeling so proud and thinking about how wonderful it would be for the baby to grow up with our beautiful, happy, loving dog.

We were nearing the end of the walk, when suddenly, Zoe bolted away from us towards the road. We were over a quarter mile from the road, took our eyes off of her for a second to check on the baby, and suddenly she was gone. Zoe had never ever let us out of her sight before when off leash and always came when she was called. This time around, she was gone before we even noticed and didn't come back when we called her frantically and ran after her.

Zoe darted out into the road and was immediately hit by a car. My husband didn't see it happen but got there just in time to hold her and look into her eyes as she passed. I was holding the baby and could not run - I got there just after she died. It was very very fast, and probably painless. That's not much comfort, but it's all we've got.

I held my 4 week old son close to my as I screamed and sobbed and begged her to come back to us. But our poor sweet Zoe was gone before I could even get to her.

My husband and I are absolutely devastated. We loved Zoe fiercely - she showed us what it meant to be a family, and we both would have done anything for our sweet dog. She was a year and a half. We thought we'd have her in our lives for much longer, and we were so looking forward to our baby boy growing up with her.

It's been 24 hours, and the heartbreak is immense. We have a 4 week old baby to take care of and we're trying to be strong for him, but it's hard. My husband goes back to work on Monday and I'm feeling heartsick. I don't know how I"m going to handle being home the rest of my maternity leave and missing Zoe all day long. Everything in our house reminds me of her.

A terrible tragedy took our sweet girl from us far too young. I feel angry and guilty and overwhelmed and really horribly sad. Any words of support would be appreciated.

Debra

Dear Debra

I am so, so, very sorry for the tragic loss of your dear Zoe. Words are failing me , but please know that I am sending heartfelt sympathy and hugs for you and your precious family.

Love Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

Hi Debra
My heart just breaks for you and your hubby. When this should be such a happy time in your life with your new son and it has turned out to be so tragic. I can't emagine what you are going through even though I have lost 2 precious angels 3 months apart. The roads of life that we have to travel is just sooo unfair. Please try to go easy on yourself it was not your fault. You had started out with a wonderful day and doing what she loved. Some things our totally out of our control and we may never understand all the why's and what if's. But the one thing we do have that we can hang on to is the precious time we had them in our lives and the happiness they brought to us. I will say a prayer for you and your family and your Precious angel Zoe.

Hugs
Anna and my Angels
xoxoxo

Hi, Debra, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Zoe. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company.

You had a beautiful day with your husband, baby, and Zoe. Unfortunately there are no guarantees as to how long any of us - - whatever our life form is - - have on this side of eternity, and much less guarantee as to what the circumstances will be under which we depart. From what you have shared with us, Debra, you gave Zoe the most beautiful day anyone could ever ask for, and hopefully, as the pain of this grief journey eases, you will be able to embrace the beautiful part of that day in your heart and memories - - seeing her so happy and enjoying herself with her family - - for this is how she wants you to remember her.

If you have any pictures of your precious Zoe you can always show them to your son as he gets older and tell him all about his "doggy sister." This will help to keep her memory alive for you, and to give him a connection of Zoe to him.

Debra, like the others on this forum I also know what it is like to lose beloved companions, a few of them at very young ages. The grief journey we travel in the loss of our beloved companions is identical to the grief journey of the loss of a human family member or friend. Our beloved companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we, in turn, surrender ourselves to them completely without reservation. This is one of the many reasons why losing the privilege of their physical presence with us is so painful - - both physically and emotionally.

Unfortunately there is no easy way through this grief journey, so one of the most important things for you to know is that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Debra. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, Debra, I am so very very sorry! What a terrible tragedy! I am so sad for you in your loss. It's so different when a life is cut short like Zoe's was, different from losing a pet to "natural" causes, at a somewhat "expected" time, as I just did three weeks ago.

Words are failing me too--I can only imagine the degree of your anguish right now. This is just so darned SAD all 'round.

This Forum is a wonderful thing. Everyone here knows the pain of loss, and everyone is compassionate and empathetic, and we will be here for you 24/7. In addition to the Forum, we also have a chat room. It tends to be empty some of the time, but when people are using it, it is a wonderful way to communicate instantly. So if you go there for comfort, be patient in waiting for someone to show up. You get there by hitting "go to main LS website" at the top of this page, hit "chat," and there you are.

I wish there was more I could say to ease your pain, but there just aren't the words for it. Take care of yourself and your wonderful new baby--his needs, as you know, are critically important right now.

All love to you--Margi and Spiritwolf

Dear Debra,

I'm so, so sorry that you've suffered such a horrible and utterly unforeseeable loss during what was supposed to be such a happy time. My heart goes out to both you & your husband. I don't really know what else to say, except that you can always come here for support and understanding. Please know that you're in my thoughts.

soojung

Oh Debra, I am so sorry for you and your husband. I don't know what to say to comfort you except I am praying for you. I am glad that Zoe had a wonderful day with you and your family. Hold on to memories and hug your precious new addition....and don't worry Zoe will be around looking out for your new baby.

Hugs,
Brutus' Mom (Sonya)

Debra,

This is so heart breaking. Like everyone else, I'm at a loss for words. There are NO words. Because this all happened so suddenly, you will probably be at the denial stage of grief for a while (see the "5 stages of grief" topic) and also feeling anger. Take each moment as it comes. Keep breathing. One day it will get better, but it is still so soon, and raw, and sudden.

Debra, you are in all our thoughts. Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing. Hang in there!

Hugs, Cheryl x

Debra, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious Zoe. I know your family felt complete until now. As Margi said, this forum and the chat room is a great place to be when you find yourself home alone without your husband. The waves of grief, anger, guilt, etc. can hit pretty hard and seem to come out of nowhere. Let your body do what it needs to do. It has been a comfort to me, as strange as it sounds, when I hit the floor and feel like a blubbering idiot to know that the people on this forum have been in the same state. I don't know, it just helps to know that people do survive this.
Your day with your family sounded like a beautiful day. And in time, though not now, the beauty and perfection of the hours leading up to her passing will comfort you to know that she was at her happiest. And it sounds like you were too. You know she felt that.
Again, I'm so sorry. I wish I could make you feel better and tell you that each day will get better. It just doesn't always work that way. My thoughts are with you and your husband as tomorrow returns to the "normal" schedule. There are alot of things to get used to, I know. Everything is a reminder, even the silliest of things.
Please post a picture of Zoe, if you can.
-Donna

Debra,

I could barely bring myself to read your whole story, knowing how it was going to end...so I can only imagine the pain you are in and the replaying of events over and over. I don't know your son's name, and in his life, as he grows, Zoe will be but a moment of his history. But for now, talk to him and let the tone of your voice and words express your feelings for Zoe, letting him know that Zoe is his guardian angel, an entity that loved him though he never had the chance to know her as you and your husband did. As everyone else has stated, I am so sorry for this tragic loss.

Dennis

Dear Debra,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I know how hard it is and the emotions you are feeling far too well. I know there are no words that can take away the pain and heartache you are feeling right now. Just remember you are not alone and we all here understand what you are going through. The loss of your precious Zoe was a terrible tragedy that you would have no way of knowing it was going to happen, so please do not blame yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen

Debra,

My heart just broke reading your post. Like others on here I am at a loss for words. I can only imagine the pain that you are feeling but please remember that it wasn't your fault. I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason, I know that doesn't help you in dealing with the loss of Zoe but she was meant to move on from this life to another for whatever reason. The good thing is that you spent over two hours with her doing what she absolutely loved to do so before she passed she was very happy.

Please just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you and your husband.

Peace and love,
Rhapsedy

Thanks everyone for responding. This has been so unbearably difficult, and it helps just the tiniest bit to know that other people are out there, listening, and supportive.

I am okay - just hurting really really badly. I keep breaking out into crying jags. I'm finding it really really challenging to focus on my family, my husband, and my baby. I just miss Zoe so so much - she was my emotional lifeline, and I feel so lost and heartsick without her. I feel paralyzed, like I just don't know what to do without her here.

I'm posting a picture of my Zoe. It's hard for me to even look at pictures of her right now. She was such an incredibly beautiful and sweet dog. I will always love her and miss her like crazy.

Please keep posting - it helps to know that all of you are out there.

Debra

I am so very sorry this happened. I don't really know what to say-it is so heartbreaking that she was having such a wonderful time with you and then to have it end so suddenly. I don't know what to say except I am so very sorry.

Thanks for sharing Zoe's pic, what a cutie pie. That paralyzed feeling, yes I remember that, paralyzed and sufficating, it was so hard to breath. I sometimes felt like I was outside my body just watching the world happen, I wasn't participating. Things will get better, your loss is so fresh and sudden, it is going to take time. I'm sorry, hang in there.

Hugs and Love,
Sonya

Aw, so cute. Talk about 'puppy eyes'!

Hang in there, Debra. It will get better. I know right now you feel like it never will; but it will. Keep talking to Zoe and feeling her presence near. She is still with you. And always will be.

Cheryl xx

Zoe is such a cutie! I feel so bad that you are going thru such horrible pain. I had my dog Callaway put to sleep 9 months ago and although our stories are different I think our pain is the same. I couldn't function, for the first 3 months I was having heart palpatations, I didn't eat and lost 25 pounds very quickly, my heart was just completely broken. I never thought I was going to live thru my pain, I just thought I would die from a broken heart. I am doing much better now but it took months of grieving before I got better. You just need to express your feelings as much as you can, that and time are the only things that got me thru the intense pain. I wish there was an easy way thru it but there isn't.

Love,
Rhapsedy

Hi, Debra, thank you so o o much for sharing a picture of your sweet Zoe with us. She is beautiful. What soulful eyes.

Debra, this grief journey is physically, as well as emotionally, debilitating, so it's very important for you to keep your energy levels stable. In the early deep grief it's hard to want to eat, but it's important that you take some form of nourishment and drink plenty of liquids - - because stress depletes hydration quickly. You need to stay strong in order to take care of yourself, to take care of your son, AND to survive this deep grief journey.

Debra, rest assured we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, Debra, what a gorgeous dog! As Moon Beam said, what soulful eyes! Thank you for posting this wonderful picture, even though it was probably hard for you to do. Like you, I can't stand to have very many pictures of my Ladywolf around right now--it's too painful. I have one goofy one on a wall I don't look at very often, and that's all for now...

I am so, so sorry for your tragic loss. The situation was horrific. How terribly, terribly sad.

But, as Moon Beam also said, it is so very important for you to take good care of yourself during this challenging time. I'm sure that it's hard--I, for example, haven't eaten much since Ladywolf passed--but I can stand to lose weight and you probably shouldn't. So do eat well, even if you have to force-feed yourself...

Once again, I am so very sorry for your loss of Zoe.

Big hugs from Margi and Spiritwolf

HI Debra
Thank you for shareing your Zoe with us. I agree with everyone there is something about those eyes. I know it is very hard to look at her pictures I felt the same way. Now I cant stop looking at my babies pictures I just miss seeing them so much I have to look at thier pictures somedays I just cry when I look at them and other days I just smile and tell them how much I love and miss them. It brings out all kinds of emotions in me. I am so sorry that you have to go through this pain but know we are here for you.

Hugs
Anna and my angels
xoxo

Hi, Debra, just checking in with you to see how you're doing. I hope this weekend will be a good one for you and your family. Zoe wants you to be happy and to enjoy being with your baby and husband. She is still very much a part of you and your lives.

Debra, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm in the same boat you were in... I just lost Winston on Sunday when he was hit by a car under similar circumstances. He was just four years old and his passing is absolutely heart-breaking to my family. We lost a family member and a true friend.

Just the brief amount of time I've spent here today has assured me that the grief will pass and that I will heal, it just takes time. I know exactly how you're feeling right now and through my own grief and tears I offer you my condolences.