On May 18, we lost our beautiful 5 year old Maltipoo Cooper. He went to the vet for a routine teeth cleaning and the admitted that a mistake was made with the anesthesia. A valve that should've been open was closed, causing a pressure build up that led to his death. We were absolutely devastated. It was 100% preventable. Within minutes, our boy was gone forever. I spent so much time over the past five years worrying about him and making sure he was safe, and this happened. Cooper and I had a very special bond. We were so close. I always told him he was my heart and that's what it feels like, my heart is gone. The thought that I will never see him again is killing me. I replay that day in my mind over and over. The thought that I chose that vet and took him there that morning, and left him for this to happen. I don't think I will ever forgive myself. I feel like I killed my baby boy. He was the love of my life. We also have a ten year old dog Rudy and I worry so much about how much I know he has to miss his little buddy. They were so close. Even though Cooper's death is very recent, we decided to rescue another dog so that Rudy wouldn't be so lonely and in hopes that it would bring a little joy to our home again. Once we brought her home, we felt like it was a mistake. We only felt worse. It felt like we were reliving Cooper's death all over again. It just re-enforced that we will never have him back. We have found a new wonderful home for our rescue JoJo but now I am worried I should keep her. She is a wonderful little dog. I think it may get better with time, but I'm not sure. We just don't know what to do.

My heart goes out to you. I feel so sorry for what you are going through, but no way was it your fault. It was a terrible mistake made by people who we trust to take care of our fur babies. You must be devastated as it is so clear that you love your dear Cooper with all your heart. Please be kind to yourself. I know that's hard to do, I too felt so guilty that I left my precious Noushka at the vets for tests overnight. She never made it through that first night with them. I just didn't realise that she was so ill, and I blamed myself for this. Also that she was alone in a strange place when she passed. We feel so responsible for our fur babies that when things go wrong we feel that we have let them down so badly, but some things are beyond our control.
Rudy will miss his buddy and will need lots of hugs and to see that his Mum is going to be ok. I understand how you feel about your newly rescued Jojo, and only you can really make the decision as to if you are ready and able to keep her. I know that since I rescued Pixie part of my heart has healed again. She will never 'replace' my darling Noushka, but she has proved that my heart is able to love again.
Thinking of you.

Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

I do feel awful that he was alone when he passed. They've told us he wouldn't have known anything was wrong as he was sedated. I hope this is true. It just makes me sad that he was all alone, without his momma. I feel so conflicted about JoJo. When she was here I was so sad, remembering all of the things about Cooper. But now that my husband has taken her to her new home, I miss her and feel like I wouldn't mind having her here. I'm just afraid we haven't grieved enough for Cooper. Our hearts may not be ready to let someone new in. It's so weird. I felt no connection to her until I decided to let her go. I guess I just need to accept my decision and keep going, working through my emotions about Cooper. I felt like I made the whole situation worse. We were sad about Coop and now I'm sad because of JoJo. How long did you wait to get your next dog?

We rescued Pixie about 6 months after losing my Noushka. She's been with us for about 3 months now, and she has made me smile again. I felt so lost and my life felt so empty as we were pet- less for the first time in over 25 years. I wish I could advise you as to what to do about Jojo, but I do understand how you feel. You must go with your heart. Your emotions will be running riot right now as you have been through such a terrible time these last two weeks.
Sorry I can't be of more help. All I know is that Pixie needed us and I needed her, and she has made me feel that life does go on and is worth living again. I did feel guilty though when we first brought her home, but I felt that in a way she was 'heaven' sent by my Angels , so I knew that they would be ok about her, and they would want me to be happy again.
xx

Reading over your posting again, you say you have found a new wonderful home for Jojo, so maybe it's for the best . It will give you the time you need to grieve for your Cooper. I think I would have rescued a dog earlier if my family hadn't advised me against it. I saw two elderly Samoyeds that needed re-homing together and I was all for taking them , but I was in no fit state really, and my husband and family thought that it wasn't the 'right' time for me. The Sammies did find a new home luckily and a few months later I saw Pixie on the Rescue website.
I don't think our babies would have known what was happening as like your Cooper, my Noushka was sedated. My vet said that she wouldn't have suffered.
You say your Cooper is a Maltipoo, and I also saw that someone on the Facebook link mentioned their Maltipoo. I hadn't heard of this name before and am wondering if a Maltipoo is a Poodle/Maltese cross. If you feel up to it maybe you could add a photo of your darling Cooper to your Avatar or in your thread.
Pixie is a Samoyed crossed with Malamute or Husky, we are not quite sure. My Angels Tasha and Noushka are Samoyeds.
I am thinking of you and sending prayers.
xx

I've added a picture of my beautiful baby boy. Yes. He is a maltese/poodle mix. He was a wonderful little dog that brought so much joy and love to our lives. We feel empty without him. We are slowly starting to feel better but it is hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that I will never see or touch or kiss him again. I know he is gone but there is this part of me that feels like he will be back. I know it's crazy. I guess I just miss him so much. I look at his pictures and would give anything to touch that soft little face again. He was my doggie soul mate. I know I'll never have another dog like him. Thank you for all of your kind words.

I am so sorry to hear this happened. My heart goes out to you.
Please trust me when I say that you can not blame yourself. You were doing everything in your power to keep him safe. What happened was completely out of your control.
What a terrible tragedy.
I lost my cat in March. He was only 3 years old. Like you I did everything all his life to make sure he would live to an old age. Unfortunately he developed a brain disorder (tumor or epilepsy) and starting having violent seizures. Something I never saw coming. I planned for everything but that. We chose to stop his suffering and had him put to sleep. I am still heartbroken.
Please accept my condolences. I am so so sorry you had to have this happen to you.
((((hugs)))

Cooper's Mom--

I too am so, so sorry for your loss of your beloved Cooper. The way it happened was terrible and not fair, but it was not at all your fault. I don't know if it helps to think about this or not, but your vet must feel terrible too, and I doubt that the same thing will ever happen again in that office. But that doesn't bring your gorgeous little Cooper back--what a honey of a dog!

This is a real tragedy, so please give yourself lots of time to grieve, and don't expect to get "over it" too soon. Of COURSE you want him back, and it's not fair that he was taken from you at such an early age. I will want my Ladywolf back too after she finally passes. but she is 15, and that's a different kind of deal. You should have had Cooper for many more happy years. So don't be surprised if anger surfaces too--it's part of the grieving process, and in your case, you are totally justified in feeling outraged.

It's just so darned sad--I am so sorry that you are having to go through this experience, and wish there was more I could say that would help.

Big hugs from Margi and Ladywolf

Hi, Cooper's Mom, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your precious Cooper. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. But I must say in your case this is truly an exceptionally very tragic event. It is very little consolation to your broken heart that the vet admitted the error, but in doing so he does show good character - - that he did not try to hide or lie about the error.

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful boy with us. He certainly is a sweetheart.

Cooper's Mom, I wish there were some magic words I could say that would help to take away the pain and emptiness you are feeling. And as Margi pointed out so well, anger and guilt are two of the many emotions that we feel in this grief journey. I hope you realize by now you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, and we will perfectly understand how you're feeling.

Cooper's Mom, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam