My 18 year old cat Frank died today. Despite his age it was a huge shock because apart from being a little thin and scruffy looking he was fine. It all happened very quickly, but it wasn't easy for him I won't go into details. One minute he was in kitchen with me scavenging bits of chicken as I was cooking the dinner, and the next minute he was gone. It hasn't hit me at all yet, I still feel numb. I've had Frank since I was 15 years old and he has outlived 3 dogs and another cat, I never really thought this day would come.

I feel guilty because I've not been able to cry yet, I feel like he's just outside and he'll be in any minute. So for the first in my life I've got no pets. It feels horrible.

Thanks for listening.

Irene

Irene, I'm so sorry! It's too soon for you to lose another! My thoughts are with you. 18 years is a long time to love someone. I'm sorry it wasn't an easy passing. I know how hard that is. I understand your numb feeling. It just hasn't sunk in yet. My heart goes out to you now.
-Donna

Oh, Irene, that's devastating! What a horrible shock for you, and how SAD this is! I don't know what to say, I'm in shock myself. What a terrible, terrible feeling this must be.

Don't worry that you haven't cried yet...you will. You know how many stages there are to the grieving process, and you must be in total shock.

I am so, so very sorry!

Big hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf

Hi, Irene, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in your loss of Frank. What you are feeling is deep shock, Irene. This is a survival mechanism that your mind automatically kicks in when one has experienced a traumatic event, and your loss of Frank certainly qualifies. When the shock begans to wear off, you will then begin to feel emotions, and they can be quite intense at that time.

Irene, I, too, know what it's like to have an empty house and empty arms, and it's very painful. There are no adequate words that I can find right now to say that can even remotely begin to take this pain away from your heart. I can only hope that in some way you will know that I am here for you along with all the other wonderful people here in this Forum. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Irene, and please, please, let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Irene, I am so sorry for your loss. It's hard enough when we lose one of our dearest companions and then to lose another, it's just beyond devastating. It sounds like the initial shock of it all is just consuming you. I cannot imagine. My thoughts are with you and I hope you are able to find a little bit of peace!

-Christine

Thanks ladies, I'm still in complete shock I just can't believe that he died so quickly. We took him to the vets to be cremated and when I described what happened to the vet nurse she said it sounded like a brain hemorrhage. I feel like I'm having the worst luck at the moment.

I had a very rough night last night, my DD who's two and a half saw it all, so she was awake crying for most of the night. Then when I did wake up, the first thing I did was go to feed Frank, and then it hit me all over again.

I am so glad to have found this site, thanks again.

Oh Irene I'm so sad to hear about your darling Frank. You will be in 'shock' with everything being so sudden, and coming so soon after losing your beloved Foxy. I am thinking of you and sending a big hug to you and your family.

Love Jan and my Angels and Pixie x

I'm so sorry Irene. Frank and Foxy are together again and at peace. I too think you are still in shock and numb....and still grieving for Foxy. Again, I'm sorry, my thoughts are with you.

Hugs,
Sonya

Thanks Jan and Sonya. Here's a picture of my lovely Frank, being cheeky as usual and sitting in my DS's baby chair. Click to view attachment

I still can't get my head around the fact that he's gone.

Click to view attachment
Irene
I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean that you cant beleive Frank is gone. The sudden death of him just hasn't sunk in. I had the same thing with my Dozer 3 months after Max. He died suddenly on the bathroom floor. I still 3 months later cant believe he is gone. I feel for you I know what you are going through with still grieving for Foxy and now Frank. Your picture is so cute of frank in DS baby chair. Try to remember those images of him. Please know I am thinking of you because I truely know what you are feeling loosing two so close. I wish I could take away your pain or say it gets better, but I know it wil get worse before better once the shock of it wares off. Please try to take care and like Sonya said Foxy and Frank are togther again. That is the only thing that gives me some peace and comfort in loosing my Max and Dozer so close is to know they are toghter. I try to tell my self they were so close togther in life that they must have been meant to be togther in death why else would a perfectly healthy dog just die three months later. I hope you to can find some peace and comfort too Irene. I will be thinking of you and your angels Foxy and Frank being togther and watching over you.

Hugs
Anna and Angels Max and Dozer
xoxo

Irene
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like he was fine up until the very end and I hope that brings you some comfort to know that he only suffered very briefly. I'm sorry your DD was so upset about this. I don't know what else to say other than I am sorry. It sounds like Frank had a long and happy life.

Irene,

I'm sooo sorry to hear about Frank. My heart goes out to you and your family. I still think like you do with Frank, I think my lil pumpkin is gonna come around the corner into my room and look @ herself in the mirror or I think she's outside going for a walk and will come in anytime. Then it takes me a little bit to realize that it's not going to happen, and this horrible feeling comes over me. But I'm just grateful that I have this wonderful support group here to help me cope with this tragedy and were all here for you too!

Luv,
Madison's Mommy-Linda

I'm sorry about you kitty. I know how you felt when you went to feed him. Max has been gone since Friday and I called for him this morning. It just was out of habit. Then I realized he was not there and it was the worst emptiness. I think maybe our babies are playing now.
Thinking of you...Flo

Awww, Irene, it's just not FAIR! I know, they never told us it would be a rose-garden, but too many thorns is too many THORNS.

I'm so, so very sorry.

Margi and the Wonderwolf

Dear Irene,

I feel for you, I really do. It's been 2-1/2 weeks since I put my Kota (together 16 years) down, and I come home to an empty house and feel like I've been smashed in the stomach, and sob uncontrollably. You will cry. Someone told me that when you cry, 37 toxins are released from the body. And crying, and writing here, and needing support is OK. I saw the picture...what a cutie. If you ever saw the movies from The Lord of the Rings, at the end of it Frodo says, "Some wounds go to deep...some hurts never heal." I'm still in a depressive grief myself so I don't know about the future. I try to get out, or call friends, anything for a diversion. The two of you were very fortunate to have found each other. So I'll leave it at, "I, and others here, do understand."

Dennis

Well the shock has worn off and now I just feel sad and angry and guilty all at the same time. I feel guilty because I have spend the first three months of the year looking after Foxy, and I've spend the time since she died grieving for her. I just can't help wondering whether I missed something with Frank. Whether he was ill and I just didn't notice because I was too busy greiving for Foxy. I know it's pointless even thinking that way because he was 18 years old, which is an excellent age. He was still active and eating right up until he passed.

I had another cat called Dylan who died in 2008, and Frank missed him, and then when Foxy passed in March I could tell he felt so lonely. He didn't like being the only pet in the house, but I didn't want to bring in a puppy or kitten because he was so old, but maybe I should have done. As soon as Foxy passed I felt the need to get another dog, and I felt incredibly guilty about that, but after Frank I really don't think I could go through the pain of losing another again.

Thanks everyone for the words of support they really do mean a lot. Anna, I love the picture you posted, the verse is just beautiful. Sorry for such a depressing post from me!

Love and hugs Irene.

Irene,

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost two beloved pets in such a short time. No matter what way we lose them it is still heartbreaking! I'm glad that we all have a resource like this forum to express what we are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Mishasmom - Karen

Dear Irene--

I'm just thinking of you today and feeling sad that you are feeling so sad. I can understand why you might be feeling guilty, but I encourage you to set that guilt aside as much as possible. Someone on here, commenting about his own 15-year-old cat, said "That's about the Warranty," and, sadly, it is. (I think it was Jon.) But knowing that 18 years is a good long run and dealing with the pain of loss are two very different things. Be very gentle with yourself right now--you deserve to be treated with tenderness, not self-blame!

Big Big Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf

There is a reason a brain hemmorage is called a "Cerebrovascular ACCIDENT".
Forgive yourself.
They happen to anyone, anytime, whether they have fur or not.
A weak vessel, a little mistake by Nature, a little defect waiting to happen for no apparant reason.
Had it been chronic and you ignored symptons, you might have grounds for questioning yourself, but unless you are really good with a crystal ball, you are not being fair to yourself.
These CVA's are "Lightning Strikes". Happened to a football hero in my high school class. One minute, he was running around, in 90 seconds he was gone.

Hi, Irene, just checking in to see how you're doing. This grief journey sure does take a lot out of a person, and there does come a time when you just have to give yourself a breather - - allow your heart and mind and soul and spirit and body a chance to rest and heal from the sadness and grief.

I hope you are having some peaceful days, Irene. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam