Well, I think I'm about up against it with Ladywolf. Now she has an open sore that is oozing pus, and the whole situation is really coming to a head, so to speak. She is still alert, still eating well, still able to go out and do her thing, still enjoying lying in the yard, still enjoying going for rides--but I am very depressed and think that I am probably looking at euthanasia pretty soon...Darnnit! (That's not what I'd like to say, but you know how the obscenity filters work.)
I am most depressed because they want about $250 to cremate and return a pet's ashes around here, and I simply can't afford it. A member here very kindly sent me some money awhile ago to help with Lady's euthanasia, but told me to spend some of it on Lady food if I needed to, and I've needed to. Not all of it, but I only have enough left to have her euthanized, not cremated. I had planned to drag her out into the desert and try to bury her, as I did with Poppers, but the more I think about doing that, the worse it feels. I want her with me, forever, not alone in some strange place.
How important has it been to others of you to have your animal cremated and get the ashes back? Seems like it's been pretty important. I didn't think that it would matter to me--I've had 11 dogs, and some have been cremated and some buried and I've always been okay with it--but I HATE Arizona, I probably won't be here much longer after Ladywolf goes, and so I'd be leaving her in some strange place that I'd probably never return to.
I am NOT asking for donations--I am just trying to find a way to find peace with whatever choice I have to make. I'm unemployed right now, and have been for some time, and Lady's diet of mainly chicken, and her meds, have been breaking my bank. I can't even afford to take her in right now to find out what this new open sore is all about. This money thing is making me nuts!
I do have one friend I could approach for help, perhaps--she has helped in the past when Lady needed surgery on her LAST cancerous tumor--but I feel guilty doing so, because that one cost Nancy almost $1500.
I just don't know what to do. Maybe I'd be okay with leaving Lady in a pretty spot, maybe near Poppers (although it's not very pretty there), but I do kind of like the idea of letting my animals join the food chain. (Coyotes, etc. will ALWAYS get into a grave, no matter how deep it is.)
Please help me to be all right with whatever decision I have to make. The process has been painful--and prolonged--enough already.
Thanks, everyone. I am really feeling terrible right now.
Margi and the Wolf
Full Version: Cremation Vs. Burial In A Strange Place
Dear Margi
You may still have time left with your precious Ladywolf. If she is still doing what you say she's doing and still 'Happy'. Try and live for the day, they will be so important to you, every moment, every day, try not to dwell too much on the 'after' times. Ladywolf will be with you wherever her mortal remains are. You have your memories and your photos and many reminders. I do believe that they are with us no matter how their precious 'bodies' are disposed off. It's the spirit that is important, and that's what stays with us. I can so understand how many of our forum friends find comfort in having their fur babies ashes with them. My choice was to bury my Noushka's ashes with my darling Tasha's remains, her best friend, in their favourite part of our garden. Then we planted the lovely flowering shrubs and snowdrops. Whatever you decide, your Ladywolf will be with you forever. I know it's so distressing to even think about these things. As Noushka was getting older, she used to go and sit where our darling Tasha was buried and sadly I used to think, oh my darling you will be with her there before too long, and how will I bear it. In a way I think she was showing me where she would want to be. Margi, if Poppers and Ladywolf were so close, maybe thats your answer, take her to where you both have such a connection.
If you feel that you would like to keep her ashes with you, then do all you can to make sure that you have the money to do so.
Please try and make the most of all the moments that you are still sharing in this physical state, for your sake and also for your precious Ladywolf. I feel that I know you both so well now and I send my love and prayers for you both.
Hugs Jan and my Angels and Pixie x
You may still have time left with your precious Ladywolf. If she is still doing what you say she's doing and still 'Happy'. Try and live for the day, they will be so important to you, every moment, every day, try not to dwell too much on the 'after' times. Ladywolf will be with you wherever her mortal remains are. You have your memories and your photos and many reminders. I do believe that they are with us no matter how their precious 'bodies' are disposed off. It's the spirit that is important, and that's what stays with us. I can so understand how many of our forum friends find comfort in having their fur babies ashes with them. My choice was to bury my Noushka's ashes with my darling Tasha's remains, her best friend, in their favourite part of our garden. Then we planted the lovely flowering shrubs and snowdrops. Whatever you decide, your Ladywolf will be with you forever. I know it's so distressing to even think about these things. As Noushka was getting older, she used to go and sit where our darling Tasha was buried and sadly I used to think, oh my darling you will be with her there before too long, and how will I bear it. In a way I think she was showing me where she would want to be. Margi, if Poppers and Ladywolf were so close, maybe thats your answer, take her to where you both have such a connection.
If you feel that you would like to keep her ashes with you, then do all you can to make sure that you have the money to do so.
Please try and make the most of all the moments that you are still sharing in this physical state, for your sake and also for your precious Ladywolf. I feel that I know you both so well now and I send my love and prayers for you both.
Hugs Jan and my Angels and Pixie x
Hi Jan--
Thanks for your loving response. I only have a couple of minutes to write as I have to substitute teach (my one job) in half an hour.
I'm not really dwelling on Lady's death, but I'm trying to anticipate the "problem" before I have it, so I won't have to make hasty decisions that I might regret later, as we had to do with Poppers. Lady weighs over 100 pounds--NOT an easy burial. Poppers ended up in a spot that I feel no relationship to, and I won't be able to revisit there for a long, long time, unless I want to see what remains of her body. So I'm trying to be practical. I HAVE had one idea for burial that might work out--I'm going to ask a close friend about it today. (A big strong man who works for her who might dig a grave for me on her property, which is beautiful.)
Thanks again for all the kind words! I'll be back on here later.........
Hugs--Margi and Lady
Thanks for your loving response. I only have a couple of minutes to write as I have to substitute teach (my one job) in half an hour.
I'm not really dwelling on Lady's death, but I'm trying to anticipate the "problem" before I have it, so I won't have to make hasty decisions that I might regret later, as we had to do with Poppers. Lady weighs over 100 pounds--NOT an easy burial. Poppers ended up in a spot that I feel no relationship to, and I won't be able to revisit there for a long, long time, unless I want to see what remains of her body. So I'm trying to be practical. I HAVE had one idea for burial that might work out--I'm going to ask a close friend about it today. (A big strong man who works for her who might dig a grave for me on her property, which is beautiful.)
Thanks again for all the kind words! I'll be back on here later.........
Hugs--Margi and Lady
Margi...please see my last post on my thread regarding this...I am on my phone and unable to copy and paste...will do that when I get to a real computer.
Hugs to you and Ladywolf,
Sonya
Hugs to you and Ladywolf,
Sonya
Margi and Ladywolf,
I'm sorry you have to make such a hard decision. With Madison, since I live in an apt, I opted to bury her @ my mom's House which is about an hr away from me, Madi loved it there. We buried her by a huge Pine Tree, which is where she would go to get her rabbit poop snack
(to which I did not approve) I'm sure you will make the right but painful choice. Luv,
Madison's mommy (a.k.a Linda)
Dear Ladywolf,
Your decision sounds like mine. I just posted under Soul Mutt. I opted for cremation mainly because I didn't have it in me to drive around with my dog's body in the car, waiting to find a burial site. I know lots of people whom keep the ashes, even sleep with them. For me, I will immediately go to the outdoor places that Kota loved the best and spread the ashes. To me, a box of ashes on my mantle doesn't give me the comfort of holding Kotas real body. When the time comes, I guarantee that any decision you make will be the right decision, and will be honoring that whom you've lost. My heart goes out to you.
Tahoeden
Your decision sounds like mine. I just posted under Soul Mutt. I opted for cremation mainly because I didn't have it in me to drive around with my dog's body in the car, waiting to find a burial site. I know lots of people whom keep the ashes, even sleep with them. For me, I will immediately go to the outdoor places that Kota loved the best and spread the ashes. To me, a box of ashes on my mantle doesn't give me the comfort of holding Kotas real body. When the time comes, I guarantee that any decision you make will be the right decision, and will be honoring that whom you've lost. My heart goes out to you.
Tahoeden
Hey Margi, I'm so sorry you're at the point where you have to make these decisions. I only have a second to post but I wanted to let you know how bad I feel for you. Forgive me if you've already discussed this, but have you checked with your vet on making payments for the cremation? I know cremation is very expensive. We will have to consider it as well for Buck because of his size. He is also around 100 pounds. I don't like cremation but sometimes you have to do what you have to do, you know?
For what it's worth, I have a good feeling that this situation will work itself out anyway. If you don't mind me asking, how much would the cremation be for Lady?
I'll write to later.
-Donna
For what it's worth, I have a good feeling that this situation will work itself out anyway. If you don't mind me asking, how much would the cremation be for Lady?
I'll write to later.
-Donna
Hi, Margi, I would like to add my sincerest heartfelt wishes to the other wonderful posts in that you and Ladywolf are now traveling your twilight journey together. It sounds to me like something is causing an abscess. I so do wish this could be investigated by a vet to let you know if it can successfully be treated with antibiotics - - or not. At least you would know in your heart that you were able to make an "informed" decision rather than having to bear the heartbreak of not being to do anything because of money - - the lack thereof. This doesn't seem fair or right for you or Ladywolf.
Like Donna, please let us know what cremation would cost. I've got an idea that I will PM you and Donna about. Whatever happens, Margi, please know we are traveling this road together with you and Ladywolf, and that you are indeed close in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Like Donna, please let us know what cremation would cost. I've got an idea that I will PM you and Donna about. Whatever happens, Margi, please know we are traveling this road together with you and Ladywolf, and that you are indeed close in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Ladies--
Gads, you are all so kind, it's all I can do not to burst into tears right now, and I can't because I am in SCHOOL on a school computer, right next to some of my (substitute teacher) eighth grade students!
I MAY have found a solution for the issue. My friend Joan has a beatiful piece of property, lots of it, and a man who works for her doing yard work. So it may be that he will be able to bury Lady for me at such time as the need arises. I'll find out this afternoon for sure, I think...
I only have this moment to write, as class is about to change. (This is "game club"--that's why I'm online at all.) I'll write more later, but meanwhile, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your big hearts!!!
Margi and the Wolf
Gads, you are all so kind, it's all I can do not to burst into tears right now, and I can't because I am in SCHOOL on a school computer, right next to some of my (substitute teacher) eighth grade students!
I MAY have found a solution for the issue. My friend Joan has a beatiful piece of property, lots of it, and a man who works for her doing yard work. So it may be that he will be able to bury Lady for me at such time as the need arises. I'll find out this afternoon for sure, I think...
I only have this moment to write, as class is about to change. (This is "game club"--that's why I'm online at all.) I'll write more later, but meanwhile, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your big hearts!!!
Margi and the Wolf
QUOTE (moon_beam @ May 11 2010, 02:26 PM) 
Hi, Margi, I would like to add my sincerest heartfelt wishes to the other wonderful posts in that you and Ladywolf are now traveling your twilight journey together. It sounds to me like something is causing an abscess. I so do wish this could be investigated by a vet to let you know if it can successfully be treated with antibiotics - - or not. At least you would know in your heart that you were able to make an "informed" decision rather than having to bear the heartbreak of not being to do anything because of money - - the lack thereof. This doesn't seem fair or right for you or Ladywolf.
Like Donna, please let us know what cremation would cost. I've got an idea that I will PM you and Donna about. Whatever happens, Margi, please know we are traveling this road together with you and Ladywolf, and that you are indeed close in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Like Donna, please let us know what cremation would cost. I've got an idea that I will PM you and Donna about. Whatever happens, Margi, please know we are traveling this road together with you and Ladywolf, and that you are indeed close in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
P.S. I think that she DOES have an abscess--and help has been offered for that--thanks to this wonderful fORUM and its wonderful people!
Hi Margi
Sonya is so right it doesnt have to be ashes to keep close to you or carry with you it can be a picture, a dog tag made into a keychain any small thing. The only reason Dozer was even cremated was because there was a foot of snow and John needed to dig a hole the size of a 145lb person. But I do understand how you are having mixed emotions right now. With my other three that are buried I carry thier picture everywhere even to bingo when I go. I have kept all of thier tags and collars I will never part with them. Some day Dozer's ashes will be buried with my husband hopefully that will be no time soon. The only thing with ashes you can take them when you move. I tell my husband all the time we will never move because I would want to dig my babies and take them with me. Gosh Margi all are angels are so loved even after death. Please hang in there and give Ladywolf a kiss from me. Margi please dont beat yourself up right now you have alot to deal with just taking care of Ladywolf. It will work out the way things are suppose to I believe that. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs
xoxo
Sonya is so right it doesnt have to be ashes to keep close to you or carry with you it can be a picture, a dog tag made into a keychain any small thing. The only reason Dozer was even cremated was because there was a foot of snow and John needed to dig a hole the size of a 145lb person. But I do understand how you are having mixed emotions right now. With my other three that are buried I carry thier picture everywhere even to bingo when I go. I have kept all of thier tags and collars I will never part with them. Some day Dozer's ashes will be buried with my husband hopefully that will be no time soon. The only thing with ashes you can take them when you move. I tell my husband all the time we will never move because I would want to dig my babies and take them with me. Gosh Margi all are angels are so loved even after death. Please hang in there and give Ladywolf a kiss from me. Margi please dont beat yourself up right now you have alot to deal with just taking care of Ladywolf. It will work out the way things are suppose to I believe that. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs
xoxo
Hi All--
I'M not attached to having ashes to carry around, though I think it's kind of sweet. I just couldn't bear the idea of leaving Ladywolf, of all creatures, out in the boonies all alone.
But--hallelujah--the decision has been made to bury her on Joan's property, and her handyman is going to do it for free! There are angels everywhere!
I just couldn't leave this til the last minute, the way it happened with Poppers, who went so suddenly that there was no time to plan. Ladywolf is too important for me not to know ahead of time what her final resting place will be. I'm a very emotional girl, but I'm also very practical, so...that's why I was losing it over what to do with a 115-pound wolf body!
Thanks so so so much to all who have and are supporting me through this challenging time. Lady has already FAR outlived the vet's expectations--by MONTHS--so who knows how much longer we have left together!
Big big hugs to all of you--
Margi
P.S. Moon Beam--I'll write later tonight...
I'M not attached to having ashes to carry around, though I think it's kind of sweet. I just couldn't bear the idea of leaving Ladywolf, of all creatures, out in the boonies all alone.
But--hallelujah--the decision has been made to bury her on Joan's property, and her handyman is going to do it for free! There are angels everywhere!
I just couldn't leave this til the last minute, the way it happened with Poppers, who went so suddenly that there was no time to plan. Ladywolf is too important for me not to know ahead of time what her final resting place will be. I'm a very emotional girl, but I'm also very practical, so...that's why I was losing it over what to do with a 115-pound wolf body!
Thanks so so so much to all who have and are supporting me through this challenging time. Lady has already FAR outlived the vet's expectations--by MONTHS--so who knows how much longer we have left together!
Big big hugs to all of you--
Margi
P.S. Moon Beam--I'll write later tonight...
Hi Margi
I'm so glad that you've been able to settle on where Ladywolf's final resting place will be -- I know that has to be a relief to you. We put a deposit down on another Westie - and I'm really second guessing my decision -- whew! I never knew losing a pet would include so many different emotions. I'm praying that you and Lady have many more days together.
Blessings always my friend
Sharon
I'm so glad that you've been able to settle on where Ladywolf's final resting place will be -- I know that has to be a relief to you. We put a deposit down on another Westie - and I'm really second guessing my decision -- whew! I never knew losing a pet would include so many different emotions. I'm praying that you and Lady have many more days together.
Blessings always my friend
Sharon
Hi Margi
So glad you will be able to bury Ladywolf on a friends property that is so great this way you will always be able to come back and visit when you are able. You will know she is in a wonderful place among someone who cared. I just hope that it isnt anytime soon for you and her. Just goes to show how special a girl Ladywolf really is not just to you but everyone. I know all of us here have come to no her through you and we all feel she is a special girl. There are angels everywhere among us.
Hugs
xo
So glad you will be able to bury Ladywolf on a friends property that is so great this way you will always be able to come back and visit when you are able. You will know she is in a wonderful place among someone who cared. I just hope that it isnt anytime soon for you and her. Just goes to show how special a girl Ladywolf really is not just to you but everyone. I know all of us here have come to no her through you and we all feel she is a special girl. There are angels everywhere among us.
Hugs
xo
Hi Margi, I'm so glad that your situation has been resolved. I think it's a beautiful idea to bury Ladywolf on your friend's property, you'll be able to visit her whenever you wish. Although I believe she'll always stay with you wherever you travel to. (((hugs)))
Irene.
Irene.
Hi, Margi, I'm so glad that your friend is going to let you bury your beautiful Ladywolf on her property. What a wonderful friend she is, and what a precious gift that is to you both. I know this takes a great load of your mind and heart.
I hope that all is going well with you and Ladywolf today. Please let us know things are going, and please know you both are close in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope that all is going well with you and Ladywolf today. Please let us know things are going, and please know you both are close in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thanks so much, all you Angel Friends!
My friend Joan offered her property a long time ago, but the problem all along has been "who would dig the grave?" Earth in this part of southern Arizona is comprised of cactus and rocks, so the digging is going to be a major deal, and all my other friends (including me) have bad backs. I'm SO glad that that part of the equation will be "solved" now.
Ladywolf is doing a bit better--I think that the seeping "thing" is clearing up, thanks to frequent applications of antibiotic ointment--in spite of the fact that she loves to lie in the dirt and get it all mucky again!
So am I doing better, since one of our members has offered to pay for a vet's visit for Lady, god bless her. So this time I can get the bloodwork done that I couldn't afford last time I saw the vet, which will pin down once and for all: whether she has cancer, what kind it is, whether she has diabetes (which I suspect she may have now), and what kind of painkillers she should really be on.
This is the second time that a contribution to Ladywolf's welfare has been made by one of our members, and I am moved to tears by everyone's kindness around here. I would do the same myself--offer to help others out financially--if I could afford to. I once had a lot of money and I gave a lot of it away, but that was a different lifetime for me...
So Friday we trek off to the vet. I have a wonderful vet whom I really love, and a close friend who has seen me and the Wolfie through all our past traumas is going to come with me, bless her too, because she is really, really busy...
This Forum and its members are a true miracle!
Big hugs and sloppy kisses from Margi and the Wolfster
My friend Joan offered her property a long time ago, but the problem all along has been "who would dig the grave?" Earth in this part of southern Arizona is comprised of cactus and rocks, so the digging is going to be a major deal, and all my other friends (including me) have bad backs. I'm SO glad that that part of the equation will be "solved" now.
Ladywolf is doing a bit better--I think that the seeping "thing" is clearing up, thanks to frequent applications of antibiotic ointment--in spite of the fact that she loves to lie in the dirt and get it all mucky again!
So am I doing better, since one of our members has offered to pay for a vet's visit for Lady, god bless her. So this time I can get the bloodwork done that I couldn't afford last time I saw the vet, which will pin down once and for all: whether she has cancer, what kind it is, whether she has diabetes (which I suspect she may have now), and what kind of painkillers she should really be on.
This is the second time that a contribution to Ladywolf's welfare has been made by one of our members, and I am moved to tears by everyone's kindness around here. I would do the same myself--offer to help others out financially--if I could afford to. I once had a lot of money and I gave a lot of it away, but that was a different lifetime for me...
So Friday we trek off to the vet. I have a wonderful vet whom I really love, and a close friend who has seen me and the Wolfie through all our past traumas is going to come with me, bless her too, because she is really, really busy...
This Forum and its members are a true miracle!
Big hugs and sloppy kisses from Margi and the Wolfster
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