15 Years ago, a fuzzy black kitten was found in a dumpster, eating flies. She has been with us ever since, and grew into a beautiful girl.



When Miles moved in' Miles dominated her, and they never really got along. While Murphy was happy, well, fed, and comfortable, Miles was an outside stray, and before we took her in, they used to HATE each other through the sliding glass door. Murphy was a gentle and noncombative sould, so she stayed at the other end of the house until Miles died. Then she strutted around with her tail up, happily.

All cats are strange, but Murphy was a new experience. She understood mirrors, and was intrigued by them, and used them to spy on us and the other cats. Like many, she was convinced she could not be seen if only one eye was peeking around something...



She is now dying of cancer. She still purrs when we talk to her and pet her and she seems to be in no pain. She cannot eat, and grows slower and slower. The Vets say it will be soon.

Sam the Siamese, no spring chicken herself, will not leave Murphy, but stays close to her 24 hours a day.



This is not a happy house at present. Iggy is a bouncing 14 pound kitten, and knows something is wrong , but generally acts himself, squealing and whining for me to take him on his walks.

This morning I was laying on the floor next to her, talking to her, singing to her, and petting her. she was purring like a lion. I burst into tears, and she slwly moved closer and rubbed her face against mine to comfort me. Yes, fifteen years is about the Warranty, but it's still horrible.

Sad as it is, I still chuckled when I read about the "warranty." Yes, 'tis true, my Ladywolf is about at the 15 year mark, and that's a LONG warranty on a large wolfdog. But warranties never last long enough, do they?

So while it seems that Murphy's impending departure is in "the natural order of things," it's still terribly sad. And what a beginning--in a DUMPSTER!? Horrors! But I know that she has had a grand long life with you and your family of furkids and others, and that you need have no regrets for how she lived her life.

Yet, the grief is still there and I feel your pain. I too am holding vigil for my beloved Ladywolf, with HER cancer and her gradual slowing down. Her appetite is still grand, but she can't DO much anymore...

I am so so sorry that you are going to lose Murphy soon. She looks like a real character--I love the one-eyed gaze!

Big Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf

Hi, Jon, Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful Murphy with us. Losing a beloved companion is never easy, and the Anticipatory Grief journey is as bad as the one we travel after our precious fur child is no longer physically with us.

Jon, I can relate to how you're feeling about watching your precious Murphy decline. My beautiful baby girl Abbygayle stopped eating, too, in her final journey with Stage III Fibrosarcoma. I couldn't let her starve to death, so I made the last decision I could for her to help ease her journey to the angels on March 15. She was 6 years and 10 months old.

It doesn't really matter how long we have been blessed with the privilege of our precious companion's company. We will always want - - and long for - - just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime. But unfortunately our fur kids' physical bodies are similar to ours, and eventually experience the same physical challenges that afflict the human body.

I know what you mean about your home not being a "happy house." It seems that even the house structure mourns the loss - - or anticipatory loss - - of one of its family members. Even when there are other precious fur kids in the home, the house itself feels the absence - - or the anticipated loss - - of the "life energy" of the one who is missing - - along with the "surviving" family members. The dynamics of the family unit change to compensate for the absence - - during a time when "change" is the LAST THING anyone wants to have to deal with.

Jon, one of the most important things for you to remember is that you are not alone during your journey - - both now and after your precious Murphy is no longer physically with you and your other fur family members. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, Jon. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and Murphy are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Jon,
She is absolutely beautiful. As you know, I just went through a similar situation myself. It's so hard to watch them weaken by the day. I'm thinking of you and Murphy. You are not alone in your sadness.

Kelly

Dear ((((Jon)))))

I am so sorry to hear about your beautiful Murphy

I don't even have to say, "cherish these beautiful moments", because I know they go right into your heart . Rubbing her beautiful face against yours, to comfort you, her daddy. She loves you so much !

Our house isn't very happy either -- it feels very empty. Our Ms. Lucy had a really big personality and we miss her more than words can say! Life in our house revolved around her, in many ways.

I will surely be keeping you and your family in my prayers, Jon.

God Bless you and yours,

Denise

Jon, I'm so sorry about your sweet Murphy. Your pictures are just beautiful. I know this is an extremely difficult time for you and I'm sorry you're having to watch your baby diminish. I know all too well what it feels like. I also know what you mean about "not a happy house". For months our home has been strained, at best. Caring for a furbaby who is dying and all that goes with that can put a strain on every relationship in the house - even the strongest ones. My husband and I still snap at one another alot quicker than we should (not that we ever should, but you know).
I hope for you that Murphy will go peacefully and at the time that feels right to you. I pray that you will have no regrets and no second-guesses. She's really a beautiful girl!
-Donna

I do find myself tempted that way, but there are no second guesses about metastatic squamous cell carcinoma, so it's a futile exercise. My only regret was that she and Miles could not be friends and that she had that strain in her life. But her life was (IS at the moment) quite long, and she is truly loved and knows it very much.

Thak you all. You all undertsand this perfectly, of course. It has to be experienced to be understood.
When we share our soul with an animal friend, we become part of them, and them a part of us. And a part of us dies with them.

Over the years, we have outlived many of them. We do have our own little cemetery here. We have talked about downsizing to a smaller house, but cannot do it. Our friends are here, in sacred ground.
That patch of land where the lilies grow will mean nothing to whomever ends up with this place.
But parts of our lives are there with them forever.
Some were buried thirty years ago- Along with our youth and health and dreams. Dogs and cats, all were friends.

Murphy will be buried in view of her favorite window, at the foot of a large White Pine, that my wife planted as a seedling.
Murphy used to watch the birds in it.

Oh my gosh, that is so beautiful. You've made me cry but that's okay because that seems to be my default lately. I have the SAME feelings about this house. Now that Stew is in the garden (where he LOVED to be) I could never leave here. I actually keep the window cracked by where he is, so that there aren't any barriers between us even when I'm in the house...I like being close to him.
Take care, I'll be thinking of you through all this.

Kelly

It is over.
I dug the grave May 1.
A day or two later, Murphy had a rally and began eating, walking, and purring when petted or talked to. We got an additional ten days in which to thank her for the fifteen years.
I believe it would have been better to let her go at the peak of the rally when she was happiest. Today there was no doubt it was time.

She had lost so much weight, that sad light little bundle was so small compared to her spirit. So I guess we kept her maybe five days too long.
It cannot be undone. This is a very sad house today.

Jon,

Such sad news and I can only say I am so sorry for your loss of Murphy. I know your house is very sad today. Probably will be for some time to come.

I wish I could offer more than I'm sorry but words are not adequate when you have lost a kitty as beautiful as Murphy after such a long time.

Ginger

Jon,

I'd like to say that the hardest part are the last few days leading up to the final decision. I spent months waiting on my beloved Kota, everyday hoping some miracle would make her strong again. In the end, I was told, "Do you want to be their caretaker or their friend (and being their friend you must do the final act of love). What if you had never found Murphy in the dumpster? But you did and have had 15 years of pure love. Having put down my Kota 3 days ago, I haven't been able to return to my home. I'm at my sister's house in a small mountain town just above a town called Murphy. Robert Frost stated, "Everything I've ever learned in life can be summed up in three words...It Goes On!" Thank you for giving Murphy such a wonderful life. This world needs more you's in it.

Tahoeden

I'm so sorry about your losing Murphy. I've been thinking about you guys all week, wondering what was happening. You know we're here for you, all of us sad souls grieving. I would also like to thank you for giving Murphy such a wonderful life. I know there was a little drama between Murphy and Miles, but maybe that spiced up her life a little...and she got some time with you to herself, too. Take care, I have nothing else to offer except that I'm thinking of you, and if you wake up sad in the middle of the night, you're not alone, I'm likely up too.

Kelly

We are clawing our way back from the Abyss.
Things are stabilizing, and Sam the little Siamese is not as depressed, now.
Iggy is just a big kid and does not understand.

Murphy had bonded to my wife and they were very close friends.

I did replace her old car last week and it's KIND of a new Cat*, so it distracted her enough to break the depression cycle.
It did not cheer her up completely but it did take her mind off her loss for longer stretches of time.



*Made In Coventry.

Jon, I am so sorry about your loss. Murphy was a beautiful cat. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I have tears falling from my face as I read her love for you. Here she is having such a hard day and yet she went to comfort you. They give us so much love. It is so hard when we lose them.

MishasMom - Karen

Jon--

I am so, so sorry to hear about Murphy, but how wonderful that she moved in closer to try to comfort YOU in your time of need. They know, they just KNOW.

You are so eloquent and wise in all that you say. I deeply appreciate your sensitivity.

Murphy was a winner--she had you for her dad--and your whole wonderful family!

Big hugs from Margi and Ladywolf

dear Jon
i am so very sorry
beautiful Murphy
Eva