My dog died yesterday, he passed away in his sleep after being part of our family for 14 years. He had renal kidney disease, towards the end of his life he stopped eating, couldn't walk, and lost half his body weight. He was very ill, and I felt that he was suffering. I wanted to put him down a few weeks ago, but one of my family members (the primary caregiver) refused to put him down due to her own selfish reasons. Finally, she made an appointment to have the poor dog put down. However, he passed away two nights before the appointment date. I feel so much anger towards my family member for letting our dog suffer until he finally died. It was clear he was dying for a long time. I accept it was his time, he was old, sick, and lived a wonderful life with us. What I am having the hardest time with, is accepting that I believe he suffered more than any dog should of. All I can think about was finding him in the morning...Is it right for me to be so angry? I guess there isn't anything that can be done now...

dorotska,

First I'd like to give my deepest sympathies for the loss of you dog. I know the pain all too well.
I'm in definitely in the camp of "sooner rather than later" when it comes to animal suffering and euthenasia. Even though I went through putting my dog to sleep before it really turned bad, I can also understand where your family member is coming from. When I thought about putting my dog to sleep, my heart absolutely HURT. Perhaps this family memeber is not good at dealing with death, or did not have the strength to make that desicion and felt that "nature taking its course" was the easiest route.

Whatever the case please do not be mad, afterall you are all greiving.

I hope you find peace soon.

Hi Dorotska--

Anger actually IS one of the five stages of grieving, as Kubler-Ross defined them. It's perfectly natural, and if you didn't experience it, you would be missing an important part of your grieving process. Sometimes the anger is at God, sometimes at the vet, sometimes at yourself for not doing the "right" things, sometimes even at the pet for leaving us, mean as that seems. You happen to have anger towards an actual, tangible person...

I am so sorry that your beloved went in the way that he did, but at least he is in peace now and pain-free. I agree--your family member was probably unable to accept the inevitability of your dog's death--is maybe not as philosophical as you are about things (and I am, myself.)

Try to remember the good times with your doggie, along with all the pain. How he died is really not as important as how he lived!

Big big hugs to you--

Margi and Ladywolf (who is 14 and slowly dying of cancer right now)

We all feel angry when our pets pass, no matter what the circumstances are. The most difficult part of being a pet owner is determining the "right" time to have a much loved pet put to sleep. I've not always made the right call with my pets, despite being paranoid about their care. We're only human I guess and that's so difficult to accept at times. I do feel so sorry for your pain and I hope you can talk things over with your family member. Hugs to you xx

madi xx

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, as others have anger is a perfectly normal stage of the grieving process. I had a cat who had renal failure and a heart murmur. He was really sick in the end and I just couldn't bring myself to end his suffering, so I understand how your family member felt. Sometimes it just hurts too much to think about it. Everyone is different.
I learned my lesson with my cat, and when my dog Foxy was diagnosed with cancer, I decided to end her suffering before she got too bad, but I still wonder if I'd left her would she still be here now.

However you play it you can't win, ((((hugs))) to you.
Irene

Thank you for your support. I'm starting to feel a little bit better and a lilttle less angry.

Hi, Dorotska, please permit me to offer you my belated sympathies in the loss of your beloved companion. Losing a companion is never easy, regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. I read your post when it appeared, but I just could not reply at that time, due to my own grief journey. But I want you to know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm glad to see your post today that you feel you are beginning to heal from the anger.

I really can't add anything worthwhile to the other wonderful posts you have received. Their comments, observations, and advice are all wonderful, and I know they were of comfort to you.

Just remember, Dorotska, that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. This grief journey has so many unpredictable twists and turns, highs and lows, particularly in the beginning, and it is important for you to know you are not alone. Each of us here understands what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. All of us may not be able to respond to you at one time, but I assure you we are with you in spirit and you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam