Hi everyone,
I'm new to the forum and thankful for all the help I received just from lurking. I'm hoping others who've gone through this can offer support...
A little bit of history- My sweet, 15 year old Jack Russell, Dexter, was diagnosed with Hyperparathyroidism last January. He also was diagnosed with arithritis in his lower spine about two years ago. Needless to say, it's been rough going. We've gone on and off prednisone and lasix, both of which just made him feel worse and since this summer he's been on a sole regimen of pain management with Tramadol and Metacam. This January he had a mass removed from his throat, along with an abscess than ran along the roof of his mouth and four teeth. We did not biopsy the mass as I knew I wouldn't treat Cancer and my vet assured me we are doing our best to keep him comfortable on the pain regimen.
Dexter has had weakness in his limbs for a while now. He even falls down if you so much as gently pat his back. About a month ago this weakness became much more pronounced and he falls on carpet, outside for walks and forget about it on hardwood floors. Some days he can get back up when he falls, but lately it's harder and harder. What's worse is his mental condition- I will wake up at 3am to hear him scratching, trying to get back up after falling and getting trapped under the desk or bed. He gets trapped behind open doors and in corners and on the elevator he stands with his head in the corner and won't move when it's time to get out. He can't see or hear much at all. And with the extreme weakness came a shortness of breath that comes and goes.
All that being said, Dexter still wants to eat everything in sight and is still happy from time to time. Dexter used to rollerblade in NYC with me, fetched 23 out 24 hours of the day, loved everyone and slept in bed with me like a baby. He is my best friend. He stopped sleeping with me over a year ago and only barely lets me hold him now. He wont accept any comfort, and although I have the apartment covered in rugs, soft blankets and expensive heated dog beds he refuses all of it and instead sleeps on the hard floor in the kitchen, or in the bathroom in the tiny space between the toilet and the wall.
About three weeks ago, when things were worsening I had the feeling that it is time to say goodbye. Something in his face told me it was ok and I have struggled and cried and eaten everything that isn't bolted down. We are putting him down at home and we set the date for Friday night so that we can cry all weekend and never have to leave the apartment. I have always known that I didn't want to wait too long to give him peace. I waited too long with my other dog and I have never forgiven myself for what she went through... So even though I know rationally that this is the right choice, I am still suffering immensely.
*THIS IS WHERE I NEED HELP* Yesterday Dexter was clear mentally, and even a little stronger physically. Some of his spark was back and suddenly this decision I've made seems terrible. I started to rethink the plan, but I know his spark is only temporary. As if to prove it, last night we woke at 3am to find Dexter frantically pacing around the apartment, just pacing and pacing, panting and wild eyed. I gave him a little milk and a bit of food, took him out for a pee and sat with him until he fell asleep at 4:30am. Today he is crashed out on the kitchen floor, in the state I am comfortable saying goodbye to him in. But now I'm terrified that if he is mentally clear and sparky on Friday I won't be able to go through with it. Even though I know he'll go right back to his bad state. I know it's time and I know that neither Dexter, nor I, can go on like this much longer...
Has anyone else had a pet who has rallied right before being put to sleep? I am trying so hard to keep it together and view his passing as a blessing but I feel like I'm drowning...
Any support is greatly appreciated.
Full Version: Putting Dexter To Sleep On Friday- First Time Poster
QUOTE (AngieM @ Apr 7 2010, 11:45 AM) 
Hi everyone,
I'm new to the forum and thankful for all the help I received just from lurking. I'm hoping others who've gone through this can offer support...
A little bit of history- My sweet, 15 year old Jack Russell, Dexter, was diagnosed with Hyperparathyroidism last January. He also was diagnosed with arithritis in his lower spine about two years ago. Needless to say, it's been rough going. We've gone on and off prednisone and lasix, both of which just made him feel worse and since this summer he's been on a sole regimen of pain management with Tramadol and Metacam. This January he had a mass removed from his throat, along with an abscess than ran along the roof of his mouth and four teeth. We did not biopsy the mass as I knew I wouldn't treat Cancer and my vet assured me we are doing our best to keep him comfortable on the pain regimen.
Dexter has had weakness in his limbs for a while now. He even falls down if you so much as gently pat his back. About a month ago this weakness became much more pronounced and he falls on carpet, outside for walks and forget about it on hardwood floors. Some days he can get back up when he falls, but lately it's harder and harder. What's worse is his mental condition- I will wake up at 3am to hear him scratching, trying to get back up after falling and getting trapped under the desk or bed. He gets trapped behind open doors and in corners and on the elevator he stands with his head in the corner and won't move when it's time to get out. He can't see or hear much at all. And with the extreme weakness came a shortness of breath that comes and goes.
All that being said, Dexter still wants to eat everything in sight and is still happy from time to time. Dexter used to rollerblade in NYC with me, fetched 23 out 24 hours of the day, loved everyone and slept in bed with me like a baby. He is my best friend. He stopped sleeping with me over a year ago and only barely lets me hold him now. He wont accept any comfort, and although I have the apartment covered in rugs, soft blankets and expensive heated dog beds he refuses all of it and instead sleeps on the hard floor in the kitchen, or in the bathroom in the tiny space between the toilet and the wall.
About three weeks ago, when things were worsening I had the feeling that it is time to say goodbye. Something in his face told me it was ok and I have struggled and cried and eaten everything that isn't bolted down. We are putting him down at home and we set the date for Friday night so that we can cry all weekend and never have to leave the apartment. I have always known that I didn't want to wait too long to give him peace. I waited too long with my other dog and I have never forgiven myself for what she went through... So even though I know rationally that this is the right choice, I am still suffering immensely.
*THIS IS WHERE I NEED HELP* Yesterday Dexter was clear mentally, and even a little stronger physically. Some of his spark was back and suddenly this decision I've made seems terrible. I started to rethink the plan, but I know his spark is only temporary. As if to prove it, last night we woke at 3am to find Dexter frantically pacing around the apartment, just pacing and pacing, panting and wild eyed. I gave him a little milk and a bit of food, took him out for a pee and sat with him until he fell asleep at 4:30am. Today he is crashed out on the kitchen floor, in the state I am comfortable saying goodbye to him in. But now I'm terrified that if he is mentally clear and sparky on Friday I won't be able to go through with it. Even though I know he'll go right back to his bad state. I know it's time and I know that neither Dexter, nor I, can go on like this much longer...
Has anyone else had a pet who has rallied right before being put to sleep? I am trying so hard to keep it together and view his passing as a blessing but I feel like I'm drowning...
Any support is greatly appreciated.
I'm new to the forum and thankful for all the help I received just from lurking. I'm hoping others who've gone through this can offer support...
A little bit of history- My sweet, 15 year old Jack Russell, Dexter, was diagnosed with Hyperparathyroidism last January. He also was diagnosed with arithritis in his lower spine about two years ago. Needless to say, it's been rough going. We've gone on and off prednisone and lasix, both of which just made him feel worse and since this summer he's been on a sole regimen of pain management with Tramadol and Metacam. This January he had a mass removed from his throat, along with an abscess than ran along the roof of his mouth and four teeth. We did not biopsy the mass as I knew I wouldn't treat Cancer and my vet assured me we are doing our best to keep him comfortable on the pain regimen.
Dexter has had weakness in his limbs for a while now. He even falls down if you so much as gently pat his back. About a month ago this weakness became much more pronounced and he falls on carpet, outside for walks and forget about it on hardwood floors. Some days he can get back up when he falls, but lately it's harder and harder. What's worse is his mental condition- I will wake up at 3am to hear him scratching, trying to get back up after falling and getting trapped under the desk or bed. He gets trapped behind open doors and in corners and on the elevator he stands with his head in the corner and won't move when it's time to get out. He can't see or hear much at all. And with the extreme weakness came a shortness of breath that comes and goes.
All that being said, Dexter still wants to eat everything in sight and is still happy from time to time. Dexter used to rollerblade in NYC with me, fetched 23 out 24 hours of the day, loved everyone and slept in bed with me like a baby. He is my best friend. He stopped sleeping with me over a year ago and only barely lets me hold him now. He wont accept any comfort, and although I have the apartment covered in rugs, soft blankets and expensive heated dog beds he refuses all of it and instead sleeps on the hard floor in the kitchen, or in the bathroom in the tiny space between the toilet and the wall.
About three weeks ago, when things were worsening I had the feeling that it is time to say goodbye. Something in his face told me it was ok and I have struggled and cried and eaten everything that isn't bolted down. We are putting him down at home and we set the date for Friday night so that we can cry all weekend and never have to leave the apartment. I have always known that I didn't want to wait too long to give him peace. I waited too long with my other dog and I have never forgiven myself for what she went through... So even though I know rationally that this is the right choice, I am still suffering immensely.
*THIS IS WHERE I NEED HELP* Yesterday Dexter was clear mentally, and even a little stronger physically. Some of his spark was back and suddenly this decision I've made seems terrible. I started to rethink the plan, but I know his spark is only temporary. As if to prove it, last night we woke at 3am to find Dexter frantically pacing around the apartment, just pacing and pacing, panting and wild eyed. I gave him a little milk and a bit of food, took him out for a pee and sat with him until he fell asleep at 4:30am. Today he is crashed out on the kitchen floor, in the state I am comfortable saying goodbye to him in. But now I'm terrified that if he is mentally clear and sparky on Friday I won't be able to go through with it. Even though I know he'll go right back to his bad state. I know it's time and I know that neither Dexter, nor I, can go on like this much longer...
Has anyone else had a pet who has rallied right before being put to sleep? I am trying so hard to keep it together and view his passing as a blessing but I feel like I'm drowning...
Any support is greatly appreciated.
Hi Angie,
I am so sorry that Dexter is doing well. I too have a 15 year old Jack Russell (Brando) and he is having a lot of the same problems that your Dexter is having, I will be having to make the same decision you are making soon.
I honestly think if you are having second thoughts you should hold off and here's why...
I decided to put my soul mate Callaway down 7 months ago and it still haunts me. Callaway was an 80 pound husky/lab mix and was the most incredible dog... very caring and wanted to please everyone. For months Callaway was having issues with walking; he would fall down several times a day, he was panting alot, his eyes looked very tired, and he had been diagnosed with Lymphoma, which was causing him to choke when he drank or ate. One day I came home and found him laying in his own urine and that's when I decided to put him to sleep. I scheduled the procedure for the next day and when my vet came to my house he jumped up like he was recovered! I don't know why I didn't stop the procedure but I didn't and if I had one wish in the world I would wish to change my decision. Now, I know that he wasn't miraculously recovered but I should have waited because that was my first thought.
I am not trying to scare you or talk you out of the euthanasia, I just want you to really listen to your heart and make sure that you feel the time is right. I don't want anyone to go thru the guilt that I feel.
I will be praying for you and Dexter.
Rhapsedy
AngieM, first let me say that I'm so sorry you're having to face this. My heart goes out to you now. A co-worker of mine had a Jack Russell who was about Dexter's age and he went through the exact same things even down to the getting stuck in the corner. Our cat, Niles, started getting in the bathroom between the wall and the toilet like Dexter too in the last couple of days of his life. In answer to your question about the rallying, yes, it does happen. I think that's what you saw. My guess is that it probably won't happen again but if it does, I think that it helps (or it helped me anyway) to ask yourself at that point, what would you be bringing him back to. If we could cure old age, we'd be good to go. But I really believe from reading your story that you are doing the right thing. It's so hard to let them go. I'm still wrestling with it and Niles died 3 weeks ago and his brother, Frasier, died 7 months ago. I hate this for you. I think you're smart to do it when you're going to be home for awhile.
I know how awful it is to make that appointment. It just seems so wrong. And then the waiting on it to come is equally hard. When we had Frasier put to sleep, I was alone with him for an hour before the vet got to our house and I just sat on the floor and watched him and the clock. I felt like I was waiting on death to enter the house. It was the strangest feeling I've ever had.
Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us all know what happens and how you're doing.
-Donna
I know how awful it is to make that appointment. It just seems so wrong. And then the waiting on it to come is equally hard. When we had Frasier put to sleep, I was alone with him for an hour before the vet got to our house and I just sat on the floor and watched him and the clock. I felt like I was waiting on death to enter the house. It was the strangest feeling I've ever had.
Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us all know what happens and how you're doing.
-Donna
This is a tough one for me to answer, Angie, as I am going to be facing the same decision soon, no doubt, unless Ladywolf has a miracle cure or goes quietly in her sleep. The first thing that strikes me, though, is that Dexter is being kept alive right now mainly by artificial means. Without all the surgery and meds, he would probably have died a long time ago, sad as that is. I feel terrible for you, I really do, and am SO sorry that you are likely to be "losing" Dexter soon.
Yes, I once had to put to sleep a fairly lively dog. In fact, I took her for a final walk before I took her down to the vet's office for euthanasia. Her body was riddled with cancer, the vet said that she must be in terrible pain, and I was taking off to live in a van on the road for a couple of years. He asked me if I wanted to face the crisis alone while I was out in the boonies somewhere with no vet available, and I decided that I did not. So I may have out her to sleep a little before her time--but her time was coming soon anyway, that was for sure. Did I feel guilty and terrible? My god, I WAILED for a week before I could leave town. It was awful, but after wailing for a week, I put the guilt behind me and never let it revisit me. Sorrow and grief, yes I had plenty of those, but I didn't second-guess myself. I'm still sure that I made the best possible decision for both of us.
People have to do this with pets all the time, unfortunately. We use artificial means to keep them alive "artificially," when their poor bodies are really ready to go. When they finally really fail, I feel that we owe it to them to provide a graceful, pain-free passing over the Rainbow Bridge, no matter how deep our own level of grief is.
Dexter is telling you that he is ready to go, I believe. All signs point in that direction. Many people stay fully alert right up to the moment when they have a heart attack or terminal stroke or other kind of "natural" death. Not everyone fades out slowly, slowly, slowly, and then dies peacefully. Death is often quite radical and extreme, for humans and pets alike.
You'll have to make your own decision, of course, and of course you are going to have second thoughts. But if you decide to go through with it, PLEASE don't rack yourself with unnecessary guilt and feelings that maybe Dexter would have gone on to live months or years longer, because it sure doesn't sound that way...
I don't mean to sound cold or harsh--my thread is right next to your's, and if you've read it, you know what I'm facing myself. I'm just trying to be a little practical and realistic with you. It's a terribly sad situation, and my heart goes out to you. Please keep posting here--it really helps--these are wonderful, compassionate people!
All love to you and Dexter and your family--
Margi and Ladywolf
Yes, I once had to put to sleep a fairly lively dog. In fact, I took her for a final walk before I took her down to the vet's office for euthanasia. Her body was riddled with cancer, the vet said that she must be in terrible pain, and I was taking off to live in a van on the road for a couple of years. He asked me if I wanted to face the crisis alone while I was out in the boonies somewhere with no vet available, and I decided that I did not. So I may have out her to sleep a little before her time--but her time was coming soon anyway, that was for sure. Did I feel guilty and terrible? My god, I WAILED for a week before I could leave town. It was awful, but after wailing for a week, I put the guilt behind me and never let it revisit me. Sorrow and grief, yes I had plenty of those, but I didn't second-guess myself. I'm still sure that I made the best possible decision for both of us.
People have to do this with pets all the time, unfortunately. We use artificial means to keep them alive "artificially," when their poor bodies are really ready to go. When they finally really fail, I feel that we owe it to them to provide a graceful, pain-free passing over the Rainbow Bridge, no matter how deep our own level of grief is.
Dexter is telling you that he is ready to go, I believe. All signs point in that direction. Many people stay fully alert right up to the moment when they have a heart attack or terminal stroke or other kind of "natural" death. Not everyone fades out slowly, slowly, slowly, and then dies peacefully. Death is often quite radical and extreme, for humans and pets alike.
You'll have to make your own decision, of course, and of course you are going to have second thoughts. But if you decide to go through with it, PLEASE don't rack yourself with unnecessary guilt and feelings that maybe Dexter would have gone on to live months or years longer, because it sure doesn't sound that way...
I don't mean to sound cold or harsh--my thread is right next to your's, and if you've read it, you know what I'm facing myself. I'm just trying to be a little practical and realistic with you. It's a terribly sad situation, and my heart goes out to you. Please keep posting here--it really helps--these are wonderful, compassionate people!
All love to you and Dexter and your family--
Margi and Ladywolf
Dear AngieM
I feel so sad for you and what you are going through right now. The decision you have made is the hardest one to make and carry through, but the kindest one for your dear Dexter, if as you say, you know it is time to let him go. This decision is made out of your love for him, but I understand so well what you are going through. While in our hearts we know it's 'time' in our heads we start questioning and looking for any difference in our dear pets behaviour that could mean that they could maybe have more time with us. It's what I think we all do. I certainly did, even right up to the Vet and nurse arriving at the dreaded time that I'd arranged earlier that morning. The Vet helped me by saying that it was 'time' to let my Tasha go. That she would have had no quality of life and that I was being a loving Mum by letting her go peacefully to sleep and ending her suffering. If you have any doubts, speak to your Vet, who I am sure will advise you.
I do wish that I could help you more. Please know that my thoughts are with you.
Hugs
Jan x
I feel so sad for you and what you are going through right now. The decision you have made is the hardest one to make and carry through, but the kindest one for your dear Dexter, if as you say, you know it is time to let him go. This decision is made out of your love for him, but I understand so well what you are going through. While in our hearts we know it's 'time' in our heads we start questioning and looking for any difference in our dear pets behaviour that could mean that they could maybe have more time with us. It's what I think we all do. I certainly did, even right up to the Vet and nurse arriving at the dreaded time that I'd arranged earlier that morning. The Vet helped me by saying that it was 'time' to let my Tasha go. That she would have had no quality of life and that I was being a loving Mum by letting her go peacefully to sleep and ending her suffering. If you have any doubts, speak to your Vet, who I am sure will advise you.
I do wish that I could help you more. Please know that my thoughts are with you.
Hugs
Jan x
I can't begin to tell you all how much your words comfort me. It's true that in my heart I know it's time, and I need to be strong and hold firm for Dexter. Thank you so much for giving me peace.
Love and thanks,
Angie
Love and thanks,
Angie
Angie, something very similar happened with my 16-year-old poodle mix, Kris, who died 9 1/2 years ago. Kris was diagnosed with kidney failure in early October 2000, but did fairly well on a low protein diet for several weeks. Just after Thanksgiving, however, he began to go downhill and by Christmas he was skeletally thin and obviously failing. He couldn't eat anything without vomiting and was so weak that all he wanted to do was lie in front of the fireplace in the living room. Even so, he had moments of great clarity and brief episodes when he seemed quite well. A few days before we had him put down, we took him to a park near our home where he seemed very happy and almost like his old self again. I second-guessed myself until I thought I would go mad, but after several terrifying seizures, we decided to have the vet come to the house on Jan. 2, 2001. That very morning he seemed to rally and was almost playful for a short time, but the effort wore him out and he remained sunk in lethargy for the remainder of the day. The vet turned up around 7 p.m. and administered the injection, and while I knew it was the right thing to do I continued to second-guess myself for weeks afterward. I know now, with the benefit of hindsight, that if anything we waited too long and that those brief episodes of clarity and apparent health were not only temporary but merely a precursor of much worse to come. Kris was 16. He had lived a full and, until the very end, remarkably healthy life. I no longer regret the decision and know beyond any doubt that I did the right thing for him.
To put it in perspective, I compared Kris's death to that of my maternal grandmother who died over a period of several years of Alzheimer's. Long before she died my grandmother had lost touch with reality, forgotten all of us, and lost so much weight that she looked the survivor of a concentration camp. I recall thinking at the time that if her doctor had been a vet, he would very likely have been punished for prolonging a patient's life the way my grandmother's was. Euthanasia would have been a kindness in her case, but as human beings we don't have that option, at least not legally.
I know how hard it is to make this decision I dreaded having to make such a choice with Charlie, who died barely a month ago. In Charlie's case it was doubly hard because he wasn't old, as Kris was. Charlie was only a week shy of his 9th birthday, but like Kris his kidneys were failing from a cause the vets never really determined, though I suspect it may have had something to do with the dog food I was feeding him. Fortunately, Charlie took the terrible weight of it off my shoulders by dying of a massive stroke within hours of learning that he had only weeks left to live. As shocking as it was, I have thanked God every day since because Charlie was so very dear to me that I don't know how I could have ever made such a choice for him.
Angie, I believe you are doing the right thing for Dexter. I've never owned a Jack Russell, but I've had several terriers (Charlie was a Westie) and I know how much they loathe being restricted in any way, even by their own bodies. As you yourself pointed out, Dexter's'rally' was only temporary and any future he has left is likely to bring even greater misery. Ask yourself if you would want to go on with only brief episodes of mental clarity and 'sparkiness' to look forward to in between longer and longer periods of disability and pain. I know I wouldn't, and I suspect that Dexter, if he had a voice in any of this, would say the same.
Hang in there, Angie. We're pulling for you and wishing both you and Dexter the gift of peace.
Barbara
To put it in perspective, I compared Kris's death to that of my maternal grandmother who died over a period of several years of Alzheimer's. Long before she died my grandmother had lost touch with reality, forgotten all of us, and lost so much weight that she looked the survivor of a concentration camp. I recall thinking at the time that if her doctor had been a vet, he would very likely have been punished for prolonging a patient's life the way my grandmother's was. Euthanasia would have been a kindness in her case, but as human beings we don't have that option, at least not legally.
I know how hard it is to make this decision I dreaded having to make such a choice with Charlie, who died barely a month ago. In Charlie's case it was doubly hard because he wasn't old, as Kris was. Charlie was only a week shy of his 9th birthday, but like Kris his kidneys were failing from a cause the vets never really determined, though I suspect it may have had something to do with the dog food I was feeding him. Fortunately, Charlie took the terrible weight of it off my shoulders by dying of a massive stroke within hours of learning that he had only weeks left to live. As shocking as it was, I have thanked God every day since because Charlie was so very dear to me that I don't know how I could have ever made such a choice for him.
Angie, I believe you are doing the right thing for Dexter. I've never owned a Jack Russell, but I've had several terriers (Charlie was a Westie) and I know how much they loathe being restricted in any way, even by their own bodies. As you yourself pointed out, Dexter's'rally' was only temporary and any future he has left is likely to bring even greater misery. Ask yourself if you would want to go on with only brief episodes of mental clarity and 'sparkiness' to look forward to in between longer and longer periods of disability and pain. I know I wouldn't, and I suspect that Dexter, if he had a voice in any of this, would say the same.
Hang in there, Angie. We're pulling for you and wishing both you and Dexter the gift of peace.
Barbara
I am so sorry you are going through this.
I put my cat down a month ago and I did it because I didn't want my cat to suffer from a condition that was not going to get any better and put him through misery. When a pet has something wrong with it that can't ever be fixed and is declining, the best thing to do for them is to help them along in their passing. I know it is such a difficult decision, and one that we all question no matter what we choose. Either we feel we did it too soon, or not soon enough. I don't think anyone ever feels it was the right time.
Pets unlike humans hide their pain and suffering as a way of not looking vulnerable in the wild. It is their animal instincts. When they actually start to show pain, you know it is quite bad.
I don't want to say one way or another what to do, the choice is yours. Just remember that you have given Dexter a wonderful life full of wonderful experiences. He was very lucky to have you.
I put my cat down a month ago and I did it because I didn't want my cat to suffer from a condition that was not going to get any better and put him through misery. When a pet has something wrong with it that can't ever be fixed and is declining, the best thing to do for them is to help them along in their passing. I know it is such a difficult decision, and one that we all question no matter what we choose. Either we feel we did it too soon, or not soon enough. I don't think anyone ever feels it was the right time.
Pets unlike humans hide their pain and suffering as a way of not looking vulnerable in the wild. It is their animal instincts. When they actually start to show pain, you know it is quite bad.
I don't want to say one way or another what to do, the choice is yours. Just remember that you have given Dexter a wonderful life full of wonderful experiences. He was very lucky to have you.
Angie,
I truly believe this will be the hardest few days........... it took me a long time to make the appointment that I KNEW was the right thing to do. I called about the procedure as we were not near our regular vet & in a smaller community so knew cremation would not be as easy as the bigger community we lived in. And I made the appointment a week ahead because her body had to be transported for cremation and they only did that once a week. I couldn't bear her lying in the cold vets office for days & me so near unable to see her.
But, to answer the main question you have about rallying................. yes it has happened to me twice. A cat was acting very unusual one night as I came home from work. He had FIV and was blind. Got around good considering but acted like he was afraid of me and didn't want me to touch him. Not at all like him. He'd lived with the FIV for 3-4 years so I knew it was a matter of time. Gathered him up & headed for the vet. He began to purr on the way & I was going to turn around but my hubby said that does not mean he's happy or feeling good you know. So I continued on. When I described to the vet his behavior & wondered if he'd be ok if I just took him home his words that told me it was time were "I won't charge you anything to put him to sleep". So we went ahead and I stayed with him which I had never been able to do with any of my other animals. It was actually a peaceful feeling to me. Sad & heartbreaking but at the same time he was asleep & free of pain.
My poodle, Flossie, was 17-1/2, had back surgery at 3-1/2, kidney removed at 11 & a couple of other scares in between. She is the one I had such a difficult time with letting go but did not want to wait till she suffered as she had been through so much and was a trooper. She began really struggling with the walking, began to have seizures and wandered a lot. Couldn't really squat to go to the bathroom without falling down & was getting really cranky with me for helping her to not fall. Then the clean up was a real challenge. So the week I had while waiting was a real roller coaster ride............... one day she seemed to have a good day & I'd be tempted to cancel. Next day would be a struggle. Back & forth; back & forth. She tried so hard to walk..... would sit & eye her bed & you could see the determination in her eyes as she'd get up & dive for the bed.... seldom make it without a couple more tries. 2 days before our appointment she walked great outside for a long time & actually ran around like she was young again trying to play with us as she had so many times. I was convinced we needed to wait as she was doing so good. But then guess what? back to square one the very next day. She hated the vet and this would be one she had never seen & she disliked strangers so I was very concerned. She was as calm as I ever remember her being, didn't get all hyper when we went into the building and it was actually as calming as my experience with my cat had been. By far the saddest day of my life but the right thing to do.
Have I second guessed myself? You bet. But when I recall what she WAS, not what she had BECOME, I know I did right by her. I spent that week carrying her around outside as she loved it so and made sure she knew I loved her.
I know I don't know you or Dexter but I feel you are doing the right thing from what you've said he is struggling with. I have been there and I know you are suffering terribly with this decision. Love really does hurt sometimes. But it sure felt good for these last 15 years didn't it?
I truly believe this will be the hardest few days........... it took me a long time to make the appointment that I KNEW was the right thing to do. I called about the procedure as we were not near our regular vet & in a smaller community so knew cremation would not be as easy as the bigger community we lived in. And I made the appointment a week ahead because her body had to be transported for cremation and they only did that once a week. I couldn't bear her lying in the cold vets office for days & me so near unable to see her.
But, to answer the main question you have about rallying................. yes it has happened to me twice. A cat was acting very unusual one night as I came home from work. He had FIV and was blind. Got around good considering but acted like he was afraid of me and didn't want me to touch him. Not at all like him. He'd lived with the FIV for 3-4 years so I knew it was a matter of time. Gathered him up & headed for the vet. He began to purr on the way & I was going to turn around but my hubby said that does not mean he's happy or feeling good you know. So I continued on. When I described to the vet his behavior & wondered if he'd be ok if I just took him home his words that told me it was time were "I won't charge you anything to put him to sleep". So we went ahead and I stayed with him which I had never been able to do with any of my other animals. It was actually a peaceful feeling to me. Sad & heartbreaking but at the same time he was asleep & free of pain.
My poodle, Flossie, was 17-1/2, had back surgery at 3-1/2, kidney removed at 11 & a couple of other scares in between. She is the one I had such a difficult time with letting go but did not want to wait till she suffered as she had been through so much and was a trooper. She began really struggling with the walking, began to have seizures and wandered a lot. Couldn't really squat to go to the bathroom without falling down & was getting really cranky with me for helping her to not fall. Then the clean up was a real challenge. So the week I had while waiting was a real roller coaster ride............... one day she seemed to have a good day & I'd be tempted to cancel. Next day would be a struggle. Back & forth; back & forth. She tried so hard to walk..... would sit & eye her bed & you could see the determination in her eyes as she'd get up & dive for the bed.... seldom make it without a couple more tries. 2 days before our appointment she walked great outside for a long time & actually ran around like she was young again trying to play with us as she had so many times. I was convinced we needed to wait as she was doing so good. But then guess what? back to square one the very next day. She hated the vet and this would be one she had never seen & she disliked strangers so I was very concerned. She was as calm as I ever remember her being, didn't get all hyper when we went into the building and it was actually as calming as my experience with my cat had been. By far the saddest day of my life but the right thing to do.
Have I second guessed myself? You bet. But when I recall what she WAS, not what she had BECOME, I know I did right by her. I spent that week carrying her around outside as she loved it so and made sure she knew I loved her.
I know I don't know you or Dexter but I feel you are doing the right thing from what you've said he is struggling with. I have been there and I know you are suffering terribly with this decision. Love really does hurt sometimes. But it sure felt good for these last 15 years didn't it?
Hi, Angie. Please permit me to add my sincerest condolences to what you are facing Friday with your precious Dexter. It has only been 3 weeks since I had to send my beautiful kitty daughter, Abbygayle, to the angels. It really isn't unusual for a beloved companion to show a rally while in the dying process. Euthanasia is a very difficult decision to make. It is similar to stopping life support for a human loved one who is terminally ill. However, sending your precious Dexter home to the angels - - hopefully before a crisis strikes - - is the last gift of love you give to him - - although it is at a great sacrifice to you emotionally and physically. How well I do know the deep grief physical pain of not being able to hold my precious Abbygayle in my arms, or my other precious furkids who are with the angels. But their physical bodies are just like ours, and as their guardians and caregivers, it is up to us to make sure that they do not suffer physically or emotionally in their journey with us - - including when their journey is ending with us on this side of eternity.
Angie, the best thing to do on Friday is to have the vet do an exam before the procedure and take time to talk to him or her about your precious Dexter's health status on Friday. The bottom line is that you really don't want Dexter to go into a crisis because then it's going to be even harder on him, and you as well. The Anticipatory Grief is as hard as the grief journey that follows a loss because with the Anticipatory Grief you still have your precious Dexter physically with you, and the "hope" that he could "get better." The reality is is that his physical body is tired, and the only way he will be able to truly be healed and restored to his former healthy self is to no longer be confined to his physical body.
Angie, please know you are not alone in this "crossroads" you are facing with Dexter. Each of us here does understand what you are feeling and what you are going through. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Angie, you and your precious Dexter are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing and how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Angie, the best thing to do on Friday is to have the vet do an exam before the procedure and take time to talk to him or her about your precious Dexter's health status on Friday. The bottom line is that you really don't want Dexter to go into a crisis because then it's going to be even harder on him, and you as well. The Anticipatory Grief is as hard as the grief journey that follows a loss because with the Anticipatory Grief you still have your precious Dexter physically with you, and the "hope" that he could "get better." The reality is is that his physical body is tired, and the only way he will be able to truly be healed and restored to his former healthy self is to no longer be confined to his physical body.
Angie, please know you are not alone in this "crossroads" you are facing with Dexter. Each of us here does understand what you are feeling and what you are going through. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Angie, you and your precious Dexter are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing and how things are going.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Angie
I am so sorry to hear about what your going through with Dexter. I think it's the hardest thing a person who loves animals has to do. I don't know if this will make you feel any better -- but the day before we put Sammy to sleep - we took her for a walk -- she loved the snow and would bury her entire head beneath all the time or roll in it. Well - my dad and I were walking her and she stopped and rolled in the snow just like the good old days -- (at this point I didn't think we'd have to put her to sleep the next day - by any means) I remember l looked at my dad and started to cry telling him that maybe Sam was going to get better after all - he just smiled and had these big tears rolling down his cheeks too. Then the next day she just got so very sick and my husband and I decided we weren't going to let her suffer any longer than necessary. So I guess maybe they can have one more last Hurrah before leaving us.
I'll be keeping you and Dexter in my prayers.
Sharon
I am so sorry to hear about what your going through with Dexter. I think it's the hardest thing a person who loves animals has to do. I don't know if this will make you feel any better -- but the day before we put Sammy to sleep - we took her for a walk -- she loved the snow and would bury her entire head beneath all the time or roll in it. Well - my dad and I were walking her and she stopped and rolled in the snow just like the good old days -- (at this point I didn't think we'd have to put her to sleep the next day - by any means) I remember l looked at my dad and started to cry telling him that maybe Sam was going to get better after all - he just smiled and had these big tears rolling down his cheeks too. Then the next day she just got so very sick and my husband and I decided we weren't going to let her suffer any longer than necessary. So I guess maybe they can have one more last Hurrah before leaving us.
I'll be keeping you and Dexter in my prayers.
Sharon
Angie,
I wish I had an easy answer for you but there really is none for this toughest of all decisions. I am so sorry that Dexter has been getting worse and I feel for you and him.
I have faced this decision with my cats several times in the past and have done a lot of research on the internet as well as much soul searching and watching the furkid for any clues as to how he/she is doing. It is so difficult separating your emotional feeling from the necessary objective evaluation need to ensure you are doing the right thing. When I faced this a part of me wanted so desperately to keep them with me until they died so I could love them as long as possible. Another part of me realized that this would put them through torment that was cruel and selfish of me.
I came to rely upon the criteria where I asked whether my beloved furkid's quality of life was such that they were still enjoying life. If they were still eating well, was not in pain or if the pain could be controlled with medication, and if they still had that spark in their eyes that told me they were happy to be here, then they were not ready to go. Associated with this was the question of whether I and the vet had done everything possible to cure the problem or, if that was not possible, to improve their quality of life to an acceptable level. I never, ever gave up until all reasonable possibilities for treatment and/or relief of their symptoms were explored. There comes a time where the vet has done all they can do and I rely upon them to give me an honest evaluation of that. Then I mainly use the first part of the criteria I outlined at the beginning of this paragraph. I try to use this instead of my feelings because it is more reliable during those times where the emotions are so jumbled and confused. It gives me something I can use to help ensure I am making a decision that is best for the furkid. Another thing it helps to prevent is euthanasia because I am so tired of nursing the furkid. I know that sounds horrible but the honest truth is that I am always afraid that months of staying up most of the night with them, all of those times I have to forcefeed and give medications, and the stress of worrying about them might color my feelings and have an impact upon my final decision.
I never feel guilt when I have to euthanize one of my beloved guys. That is because I avoid all of the pitfalls I listed above and use objective criteria to make my decision. Anguish and sorrow, yes, but never guilt. I know that I made an objective decision that had my furkid,s best interest at heart and that was not based upon my own personal feelings. I know that using this criteria I did not jump the gun in making this decision or allow any subjective things to enter into the decision. I feel better knowing that my decision was solely based upon facts about their quality of life and medical condition. I know I am doing the right thing.
Timing is the tricky part. Again, if I use my criteria for euthanization I am fairly certain I am doing it neither too early or too late. I avoid needless suffering of my furkid without worry about whether I did it too soon.
I hope this helps. Use the criteria I outlined for yourself and it should give you a pretty clear idea of whether or not Friday should be the day. Yes, they do sometimes rally for brief periods of time. For that reason you need to judge them by this criteria looking at their health for the previous week. I would use that time frame as your guide unless you see a sustained rally that appears to indicate actual improvement. I would not personally want to even attempt to judge Dexter based upon what you have written. Only you can see and interact with Dexter firsthand so you have a full picture of how he is doing and has been doing recently.
You and Dexter will be in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*.
Ken Albin
I wish I had an easy answer for you but there really is none for this toughest of all decisions. I am so sorry that Dexter has been getting worse and I feel for you and him.
I have faced this decision with my cats several times in the past and have done a lot of research on the internet as well as much soul searching and watching the furkid for any clues as to how he/she is doing. It is so difficult separating your emotional feeling from the necessary objective evaluation need to ensure you are doing the right thing. When I faced this a part of me wanted so desperately to keep them with me until they died so I could love them as long as possible. Another part of me realized that this would put them through torment that was cruel and selfish of me.
I came to rely upon the criteria where I asked whether my beloved furkid's quality of life was such that they were still enjoying life. If they were still eating well, was not in pain or if the pain could be controlled with medication, and if they still had that spark in their eyes that told me they were happy to be here, then they were not ready to go. Associated with this was the question of whether I and the vet had done everything possible to cure the problem or, if that was not possible, to improve their quality of life to an acceptable level. I never, ever gave up until all reasonable possibilities for treatment and/or relief of their symptoms were explored. There comes a time where the vet has done all they can do and I rely upon them to give me an honest evaluation of that. Then I mainly use the first part of the criteria I outlined at the beginning of this paragraph. I try to use this instead of my feelings because it is more reliable during those times where the emotions are so jumbled and confused. It gives me something I can use to help ensure I am making a decision that is best for the furkid. Another thing it helps to prevent is euthanasia because I am so tired of nursing the furkid. I know that sounds horrible but the honest truth is that I am always afraid that months of staying up most of the night with them, all of those times I have to forcefeed and give medications, and the stress of worrying about them might color my feelings and have an impact upon my final decision.
I never feel guilt when I have to euthanize one of my beloved guys. That is because I avoid all of the pitfalls I listed above and use objective criteria to make my decision. Anguish and sorrow, yes, but never guilt. I know that I made an objective decision that had my furkid,s best interest at heart and that was not based upon my own personal feelings. I know that using this criteria I did not jump the gun in making this decision or allow any subjective things to enter into the decision. I feel better knowing that my decision was solely based upon facts about their quality of life and medical condition. I know I am doing the right thing.
Timing is the tricky part. Again, if I use my criteria for euthanization I am fairly certain I am doing it neither too early or too late. I avoid needless suffering of my furkid without worry about whether I did it too soon.
I hope this helps. Use the criteria I outlined for yourself and it should give you a pretty clear idea of whether or not Friday should be the day. Yes, they do sometimes rally for brief periods of time. For that reason you need to judge them by this criteria looking at their health for the previous week. I would use that time frame as your guide unless you see a sustained rally that appears to indicate actual improvement. I would not personally want to even attempt to judge Dexter based upon what you have written. Only you can see and interact with Dexter firsthand so you have a full picture of how he is doing and has been doing recently.
You and Dexter will be in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*.
Ken Albin
I am so sorry to hear about your Dexter. I too lost a cat to cancer a year and a half ago. He had lung cancer and I saw him stuggle for air once and I knew it was time. I wanted him to go peacefully. My mom also had a cat with cancer and I will just share what the cancer specialist told my mom. He said "she is just to nice a cat to let suffer". If you feel it is right in your heart, then you are doing the right thing. It is very hard decision to make, but you make it with the love you have for Dexter. My heart goes out to you.
Karen
Karen
Dear Angie and Dexter
Thinking of you both today and sending love and prayers.
Hugs
Jan and My Angels and Pixie x
Thinking of you both today and sending love and prayers.
Hugs
Jan and My Angels and Pixie x
I think this might be the longest day of my life and it's only 9am...
I can't thank you all enough for the support and kindness you have all offered. It has really helped me get through these last few days.
I saw a grief counselor yesterday, which was really helpful. Dexter has been sick for so long and I feel (incorrectly) like I've used up all the help I can expect from friends. It was easier to ask all of you for support than it was to ask friends and the counselor really set me straight...
I also spoke to Dexter's vet yesterday and told him we had scheduled the home service to come and the vet completely agreed that it was time. Even with a few good days in between the vet assured me it was time and that we've done all we can for Dexter within the limits of what's good for him. That helped me immensely.
I've been talking alot to Dexter, I've told him that we are going to make him feel better today and not to worry. And since I've told him he has been showing me how sick he is. It's as if he knows he doesn't have to hide it anymore. He was sparky yesterday morning, but last night he had a hard time walking and his breathing was labored. He has been letting me hold him and even let me cuddle him for 10 minutes on the bed while I pet him and talked to him. And instead of sleeping in the kitchen he has been going to his soft bed which is right next to my bed and resting there. I have absolutely no doubt that he understands and is comforting me.
I'm trying not to cry around him and keeping myself calm but I don't think I'm going to make it. I had such high hopes that I'd be able to keep it together and not break down until he's gone but I woke up this morning shaking... I'm going to spend the day sitting with him and plying him with treats. I wish there was more I could do.
The vet comes tonight at 7:15 and the cremation service comes at 8pm to pick up Dexter's body. It sounds crazy, but freaking out when they take his body away is the thing I worry most about. I just can't imagine it. I plan on putting him in his sherpa bag and asking them to take him out of the apt that way and putting him into whatever they use once they get out. I can't bear him being taken away in a bag.
Again, thank you all so much for your support and offers of prayers, hugs and love...
Angie
I can't thank you all enough for the support and kindness you have all offered. It has really helped me get through these last few days.
I saw a grief counselor yesterday, which was really helpful. Dexter has been sick for so long and I feel (incorrectly) like I've used up all the help I can expect from friends. It was easier to ask all of you for support than it was to ask friends and the counselor really set me straight...
I also spoke to Dexter's vet yesterday and told him we had scheduled the home service to come and the vet completely agreed that it was time. Even with a few good days in between the vet assured me it was time and that we've done all we can for Dexter within the limits of what's good for him. That helped me immensely.
I've been talking alot to Dexter, I've told him that we are going to make him feel better today and not to worry. And since I've told him he has been showing me how sick he is. It's as if he knows he doesn't have to hide it anymore. He was sparky yesterday morning, but last night he had a hard time walking and his breathing was labored. He has been letting me hold him and even let me cuddle him for 10 minutes on the bed while I pet him and talked to him. And instead of sleeping in the kitchen he has been going to his soft bed which is right next to my bed and resting there. I have absolutely no doubt that he understands and is comforting me.
I'm trying not to cry around him and keeping myself calm but I don't think I'm going to make it. I had such high hopes that I'd be able to keep it together and not break down until he's gone but I woke up this morning shaking... I'm going to spend the day sitting with him and plying him with treats. I wish there was more I could do.
The vet comes tonight at 7:15 and the cremation service comes at 8pm to pick up Dexter's body. It sounds crazy, but freaking out when they take his body away is the thing I worry most about. I just can't imagine it. I plan on putting him in his sherpa bag and asking them to take him out of the apt that way and putting him into whatever they use once they get out. I can't bear him being taken away in a bag.
Again, thank you all so much for your support and offers of prayers, hugs and love...
Angie
Oh Angie, your words today and your situation today really pull at my heart. What you're going through is just so fresh and familiar in my memory. It sounds like you've gotten to as good a place as you can be with this. You're doing the right things with every part of it, it sounds like. I know what you mean about using up your friends and having to come here for support. I talked so much at work while Frasier was sick and dying that when Niles got sick so soon after that, I felt like I shouldn't talk so much & wear everyone around me out. I don't know if I was right to assume that but I felt it anyway. Now I feel sorry for Niles because he didn't get the attention from people he didn't even know. It's silly, I know. He passed away early Friday morning 3 weeks ago today and right after my husband said he was gone, I ran to the computer to log on. It was too early to call anyone and I just needed someone to hug me who really knew what I was feeling. This forum was that place for me in the dark hours of that morning.
I hate that this will be such a long day for you. The minutes will seem to stretch into days and yet speed by at the same time. I remember feeling sick to my stomach because I knew what was about to happen but Frasier and Niles didn't. Niles didn't make it until our vet could get here. I knew that he wouldn't. And if that, by chance, happens to you as well, you will be ok. I promise. I've now experienced it both ways and both ways were right. Very very hard, but right anyway.
I'll be thinking of you today and praying that your day will be peaceful and you and Dexter will have a calm settle over you both. I know you may not post throughout the day but know that we're all here in your corner.
-Donna
I hate that this will be such a long day for you. The minutes will seem to stretch into days and yet speed by at the same time. I remember feeling sick to my stomach because I knew what was about to happen but Frasier and Niles didn't. Niles didn't make it until our vet could get here. I knew that he wouldn't. And if that, by chance, happens to you as well, you will be ok. I promise. I've now experienced it both ways and both ways were right. Very very hard, but right anyway.
I'll be thinking of you today and praying that your day will be peaceful and you and Dexter will have a calm settle over you both. I know you may not post throughout the day but know that we're all here in your corner.
-Donna
Angie,
I am so sorry that you have to go thru this... it is just so hard. I am so glad you talked to your vet about Dexter's condition, he just reassured you that it is time.
Just remember that you gave Dexter a long, happy life and that you are giving him one last gift by not letting him suffer.
I wish there was more that I could say... I am at a loss for words. Just know that we are all praying for you and that we are here for you.
Rhapsedy
I am so sorry that you have to go thru this... it is just so hard. I am so glad you talked to your vet about Dexter's condition, he just reassured you that it is time.
Just remember that you gave Dexter a long, happy life and that you are giving him one last gift by not letting him suffer.
I wish there was more that I could say... I am at a loss for words. Just know that we are all praying for you and that we are here for you.
Rhapsedy
Angie, I too am very sorry that you have such a long vigil ahead of you today. Waiting must be awful--I've always had my pets put to sleep within hours of making the decision, never days. But I'll bet you were waiting until the vet could come to your home on Friday night? And THAT is a very good idea. Having them pass at home is so much gentler than having to drag them down to the vet's office and put them through all the coldness of the office.
I once had to have a dog euthanized on a Sunday afternoon (when it was pouring rain, of course.) The vet I found who could come to my house said she had to bring her month-old baby with her, and would that be all right? Of course I said yes, and the whole thing turned out to be kind of sweet, really. While my beloved Katy was leaving this world, the new baby was in a nearby basket cooing, gurgling, and laughing. It sounds bizarre but it was really very touching--new life to "replace" the old life that was leaving. That was far and away my best experience with euthanasia.
This day will be a long one for you, but it sounds as if you have it planned out fairly well. Don't worry if you "lose it" in front of your beloved; Dexter is feeling pain too, and you might as well share your honest feelings together. I've wept buckets while my pets were dying, and I think they appreciated knowing that I cared that much. Be sure to tell Dexter that it's okay with you for him to leave you, because sometimes, I think they cling to us out of fear of what might happen to us if they leave--humans and animals alike.
My heart goes out to you, bigtime. This will probably be one of the most painful days of your life, so be easy on yourself, and do NOT try to second-guess yourself. All of Ken's advice is really useful, and you've examined all those criteria ad reached a decision, so I say, stay with it--especially since you've gotten the vet's confirmation too.
May your remaining time with Dexter be bittersweet and meaningful for both of you.
Big big hugs--
Margi and Ladywolf
I once had to have a dog euthanized on a Sunday afternoon (when it was pouring rain, of course.) The vet I found who could come to my house said she had to bring her month-old baby with her, and would that be all right? Of course I said yes, and the whole thing turned out to be kind of sweet, really. While my beloved Katy was leaving this world, the new baby was in a nearby basket cooing, gurgling, and laughing. It sounds bizarre but it was really very touching--new life to "replace" the old life that was leaving. That was far and away my best experience with euthanasia.
This day will be a long one for you, but it sounds as if you have it planned out fairly well. Don't worry if you "lose it" in front of your beloved; Dexter is feeling pain too, and you might as well share your honest feelings together. I've wept buckets while my pets were dying, and I think they appreciated knowing that I cared that much. Be sure to tell Dexter that it's okay with you for him to leave you, because sometimes, I think they cling to us out of fear of what might happen to us if they leave--humans and animals alike.
My heart goes out to you, bigtime. This will probably be one of the most painful days of your life, so be easy on yourself, and do NOT try to second-guess yourself. All of Ken's advice is really useful, and you've examined all those criteria ad reached a decision, so I say, stay with it--especially since you've gotten the vet's confirmation too.
May your remaining time with Dexter be bittersweet and meaningful for both of you.
Big big hugs--
Margi and Ladywolf
Angie
You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Karen
You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Karen
I am thinking of you today, you are in my prayers.
Angie,
I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you today. I also lurk here and read posts but I seldom post. I just wanted to let you know that you and Dexter are in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is a very long and painful day and I wish you peace. I will light a candle for Dexter tonight and wish him a peaceful and gentle transition to the Rainbow Bridge.
Hugs,
Berta
I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you today. I also lurk here and read posts but I seldom post. I just wanted to let you know that you and Dexter are in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is a very long and painful day and I wish you peace. I will light a candle for Dexter tonight and wish him a peaceful and gentle transition to the Rainbow Bridge.
Hugs,
Berta
I know this is the longest day you've had to endure................. I remember it well and you are in my thoughts today.
Ginger
Ginger
Angie,
I am praying for you.
Hugs,
Rhapsedy
I am praying for you.
Hugs,
Rhapsedy
Hi, Angie, I just want to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I was thinking about you all day yesterday and tried to log on yesterday evening when I got home from work, but I think my ISP was having some "technical difficulties" - - the computer was running very, very, very, s l o o o w. Whatever the "hang up" was last night all things seem to back to normal this morning.
After my Abbygayle was euthanized the vet took her to the back where the vet techs could take her pawprint, and when she brought her back to me to bring home for her brother, Noah, to pay his last respects, she brought her back in a cardboard casket. We took her out of the casket and placed her in the carriage that I use for my furkids (I am not strong enough on my feet to carry a carrier with a furchild inside it, so I got a pet stroller) and took her out of the vet's office just like I always had - - in the comfort of her stroller. I do so hope that the cremation service respected your wishes for your precious Dexter.
I do so know the deep grief you are going through, Angie, and I hope you can feel the comfort that is coming your way through the spirit of this post, and all the other wonderful posts in this forum. There are no adequate words that ever take away the loss you are feeling, but please know you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us - - you are among friends here. Again, Angie, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
After my Abbygayle was euthanized the vet took her to the back where the vet techs could take her pawprint, and when she brought her back to me to bring home for her brother, Noah, to pay his last respects, she brought her back in a cardboard casket. We took her out of the casket and placed her in the carriage that I use for my furkids (I am not strong enough on my feet to carry a carrier with a furchild inside it, so I got a pet stroller) and took her out of the vet's office just like I always had - - in the comfort of her stroller. I do so hope that the cremation service respected your wishes for your precious Dexter.
I do so know the deep grief you are going through, Angie, and I hope you can feel the comfort that is coming your way through the spirit of this post, and all the other wonderful posts in this forum. There are no adequate words that ever take away the loss you are feeling, but please know you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us - - you are among friends here. Again, Angie, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I can't bring myself to write much right now because I am exhausted from crying all night but I wanted to let you all know that I saw your kind words yesterday and this morning and I am thankful in a way I can't even begin to express...
Dexter went peacefully while we held him. I will write more about it later, but for now the thing I'm holding on to is that he went so peacefully. I am heartbroken and devastated, but also thankful and a bit relieved...
Just wanted everyone to know how much your words mean... Thank you thank you thank you...
Angie
Dexter went peacefully while we held him. I will write more about it later, but for now the thing I'm holding on to is that he went so peacefully. I am heartbroken and devastated, but also thankful and a bit relieved...
Just wanted everyone to know how much your words mean... Thank you thank you thank you...
Angie
Oh Angie, I'm so thankful it was peaceful. And I'm so sorry about the new level of heartbreak that sets in now. I know there is a certain amount of relief that it was peaceful and the wait and struggle are now over for Dexter. Hugs to you as you begin to let it all sink in. Get some rest and please post when you feel you can.
-Donna
-Donna
Dear Angie
I'm sending great big hugs to you and my heartfelt condolences on your loss. I am so thankful that all was peaceful for you and your darling Dexter. I know what you mean about the 'relief'. I felt the same with Tasha, it's knowing that they're no longer suffering and that the thing that we have dreaded is over now, and thankfully in a peaceful way. It doesn't take away the heartache and sadness that follows, but it does help a little.
When you feel able please let us know how you are. It's going to be a tough time, but know that we are all thinking of you and sending prayers and love.
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx
I'm sending great big hugs to you and my heartfelt condolences on your loss. I am so thankful that all was peaceful for you and your darling Dexter. I know what you mean about the 'relief'. I felt the same with Tasha, it's knowing that they're no longer suffering and that the thing that we have dreaded is over now, and thankfully in a peaceful way. It doesn't take away the heartache and sadness that follows, but it does help a little.
When you feel able please let us know how you are. It's going to be a tough time, but know that we are all thinking of you and sending prayers and love.
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx
Dear Angie, thank you so much for letting us now that Dexter's passing last night was peaceful - - for him as well as for you. The grief journey that you are now traveling is truly one day at a time, but again, please know we are here with you every step of the way. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Angie, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
My thoughts are with you at this really sad time. As you said Dexter went in peace and although its hard you have to try and remember the good times. That is easier said than done I know myself. I lay with Rufus on the vets floor just over 3 weeks ago whilst they put him to sleep. It was very peaceful and I lay hugging, kissing him and telling him how me and his dad loved him and how he was now off to a better place. But I have cried everyday since he went and think did I do the right thing. Its one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and although it may seem silly I feel much worse than when a human family member has passed.
I have been popping on here to read peoples posts and it does help to know you are not alone in how you are feeling.
I hope you start to feel better very soon. God Bless you xx
I have been popping on here to read peoples posts and it does help to know you are not alone in how you are feeling.
I hope you start to feel better very soon. God Bless you xx
Hi Angie--
I'm just thinking of you and wondering how you're doing? I'm so glad that you have your peaceful memories to hold on to. Try to remember Dexter when he was at his happiest, and not just towards the end. I understand the feeling of relief too--you had a long vigil to endure, and in some ways, it must be good to have it over.
Right now, my life is directed towards Ladywolf to the exclusion of lots of other things. I imagine that I too may feel some relief, mixed in with the unbearable pain, when she finally passes. The slow dying process of a pet is something of an ordeal, even though, in our case, it is giving us lots of quality time together.
Well, just wanted to send loads of love your way!
Margi and Ladywolf
I'm just thinking of you and wondering how you're doing? I'm so glad that you have your peaceful memories to hold on to. Try to remember Dexter when he was at his happiest, and not just towards the end. I understand the feeling of relief too--you had a long vigil to endure, and in some ways, it must be good to have it over.
Right now, my life is directed towards Ladywolf to the exclusion of lots of other things. I imagine that I too may feel some relief, mixed in with the unbearable pain, when she finally passes. The slow dying process of a pet is something of an ordeal, even though, in our case, it is giving us lots of quality time together.
Well, just wanted to send loads of love your way!
Margi and Ladywolf
Today I am completely numb... I feel like I have cried nonstop for three days and now I am just numb. But I know that something is going to hit me out of the blue and I'll lose it.
I'm having a hard time coming here and writing. It's just so painful to think about and on some level I think I'm avoiding... I am so thankful to know that everyone understands. I want to contribute, to help others on the board but I literally can't think straight. I promise to help as soon as I can.
I'm uploading a photo of my Dexter. This photo is from a year ago when he was still fetching pennies, which were his absolute favorite...
Sending thanks and love to all of you who have been thinking of me and Dexter.
Angie
I'm having a hard time coming here and writing. It's just so painful to think about and on some level I think I'm avoiding... I am so thankful to know that everyone understands. I want to contribute, to help others on the board but I literally can't think straight. I promise to help as soon as I can.
I'm uploading a photo of my Dexter. This photo is from a year ago when he was still fetching pennies, which were his absolute favorite...
Sending thanks and love to all of you who have been thinking of me and Dexter.
Angie
Hi Angie,
You are describing the same things that I went through when I lost Callaway. I wish I could speed time up time for you so you wouldn't have to feel the pain but unfortunately we have to go thru the greiving process in order to heal. Try and remember when you are going thru a very painful time that it will get better, I know it's hard to believe it at the time but it will. I didn't think I would ever get over the intense pain that I felt when Callaway died but I did, I still miss him so much and that may never go away, but I am functioning much better.
We all totally understand that it's hard to come here and write after you've lost an animal, I think we have all been there. We are here right now to help you thru the pain, you will eventually be able to come here and help others.
Dexter is adorable! He looks like such a happy boy. What's the story behind the pennies? How did he start fetching them? What did he do with them once he fetched them?
Please take care of yourself and come on here whenever you need to talk, it really does help to get your feelings out.
Love to you and Dexter,
Rhapsedy
You are describing the same things that I went through when I lost Callaway. I wish I could speed time up time for you so you wouldn't have to feel the pain but unfortunately we have to go thru the greiving process in order to heal. Try and remember when you are going thru a very painful time that it will get better, I know it's hard to believe it at the time but it will. I didn't think I would ever get over the intense pain that I felt when Callaway died but I did, I still miss him so much and that may never go away, but I am functioning much better.
We all totally understand that it's hard to come here and write after you've lost an animal, I think we have all been there. We are here right now to help you thru the pain, you will eventually be able to come here and help others.
Dexter is adorable! He looks like such a happy boy. What's the story behind the pennies? How did he start fetching them? What did he do with them once he fetched them?
Please take care of yourself and come on here whenever you need to talk, it really does help to get your feelings out.
Love to you and Dexter,
Rhapsedy
Angie, your sweet Dexter was a cutie. Those happy memories are so painful right now, I know. It'll be awhile before they are a comfort - truly a comfort, anyway.
Don't worry about not being able to post or offer support to anyone else. We all know where you are right now. I didn't post or even read for awhile when Niles first got sick because I was in denial that he was going to die. Coming here was just too painful at the time. So, we understand. Just take care of yourself right now.
-Donna
Don't worry about not being able to post or offer support to anyone else. We all know where you are right now. I didn't post or even read for awhile when Niles first got sick because I was in denial that he was going to die. Coming here was just too painful at the time. So, we understand. Just take care of yourself right now.
-Donna
Dear Angie
Dexter looks so cute, I love the photo. Thanks for posting it.
Take one day at a time and try and remember the happy times. I couldn't post anything on here for about 3 weeks. I just kept reading everyones posts. I think it really helped when I felt I could pour out my feelings to people who understood just what I was going through. But take your time, we'll be here.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Love Jan and my Angels and PIxie x
Dexter looks so cute, I love the photo. Thanks for posting it.
Take one day at a time and try and remember the happy times. I couldn't post anything on here for about 3 weeks. I just kept reading everyones posts. I think it really helped when I felt I could pour out my feelings to people who understood just what I was going through. But take your time, we'll be here.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Love Jan and my Angels and PIxie x
QUOTE (janika @ Apr 12 2010, 12:20 PM)
Dear Angie
Dexter looks so cute, I love the photo. Thanks for posting it.
Take one day at a time and try and remember the happy times. I couldn't post anything on here for about 3 weeks. I just kept reading everyones posts. I think it really helped when I felt I could pour out my feelings to people who understood just what I was going through. But take your time, we'll be here.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Love Jan and my Angels and PIxie x
Dexter looks so cute, I love the photo. Thanks for posting it.
Take one day at a time and try and remember the happy times. I couldn't post anything on here for about 3 weeks. I just kept reading everyones posts. I think it really helped when I felt I could pour out my feelings to people who understood just what I was going through. But take your time, we'll be here.
Thinking of you and sending hugs
Love Jan and my Angels and PIxie x
Dear Anglie
Dexter is beautiful! What a perky, happy dog!
Gosh, don't worry about not being able to post here--and especially about not being able to help anyone else. You're in a state of traumatic loss--we don't expect much from you but that! I can try to help soothe other peoples' feelings, because I still HAVE Ladywolf, but you can;t yet. No One is going to blame you for that. If you can even get here to post a word or two, that's plenty!
Much love to you--Margi and the Wolf
Hi, Angie, thank you so much for sharing a picture of your precious Dexter with us. He is so o o cute - - and I do mean "is" because his sweet living Spirit is still with you in your heart and your memories, and nothing can ever take that away from you. Please know each of us here perfectly understands what you are going through. Just know we are with you every step of the way in this grief journey, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Angie, and please let us know how you're doing whenever you feel up to posting.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
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