Hello, this is my first post. I am so upset about the death of my sweet Opie.
Opie was a sweet flame point siamese cat. I got him 3 years ago as a kitten.
I had seen an ad on the internet to purchase this adorable little flame point kitten. I already had a one year old seal point and I thought the kitten would make for a good companion for her. The breeder was from out of town and she agreed to drop him off. When she arrived she quickly put the kitten in my cage out front of my building. I didn't get to see him until I got inside. When I opened the cage I was horrified to see a little kitten near death! He was skin and bones and couldn't breath! We rushed him to the vet and he spent 3 days in Intensive Care. Then we brought him home and syringe fed him every hour. He recovered! It was a miracle! Everyone at the vet office couldn't believe it, they really didn't think he would make it. He then grew strong and became the strongest cat I ever saw. Solid muscle. And the SMARTEST and MOST LOVING cat I ever met. He wanted to be held all the time. He was ALWAYS purring. He would lick your face like a dog. He was really like a dog in many ways. He waited by the door when I went out. He was still there waiting when I got home. He slept in my arms every night. IN MY ARMS. With our chests touching and his arms around my neck. I would wake up to him still there every morning. He knew a bunch of words. So very smart. He loved to play games. But most of all he loved me so much. I bought him to keep my other cat company, but he quickly out shined her and became the main focus of attention.
I did everything in my power to make sure he didn't get sick. I had already dealt with a cat who had diabetes. I had to give her insulin every 12 hours and then after 3 years of diabetes she passed away at age 10. I didn't want the same for Opie. I waited on him hand and foot. He would get me up at 6 for breakfast. I made sure nothing bad would ever happen to him. My boyfriend loved him so much too. He worried about Opie dying. I would reassure him that he would live to be 18 or so. Opie was so strong and healthy.
Then, out of nowhere this last December Opie started acting strangely. He would have these 'episodes" where he would hallucinate and become aggressive. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. I took him to the vet and he thought it was a behavior problem. I knew that wasn't it. He was having the episodes more and more frequently. I did some research on the net and thought they sounded like some sort of partial seizure. I looked up treatment and found that the medicine was very damaging for the liver. I decided that I would just live with him having these episodes every week. They got worse and I noticed his third eyelid was showing during and after them. I noticed he felt hot. Then a week and a half ago, I was woken up at 4 am to Opie having a grand mal seizure next to my bed!
It was surreal! I couldn't believe this was happening! It was my biggest fear. I worried that these episodes would turn into this, and they did! He carried on for the next four hours running around in circles and acting like something was hurting his head by flattening his ears and squinting his eyes and backing up. It was horrifying to see! I couldn't bare it. It was like he was going mad. He was also acting like he was in pain. I wanted to help him, but there was nothing I could do.
We rushed him to the vet right away in the morning. The vet said all they could do was try him on the meds, but it would be every 12 hours and that the meds would damage his liver. He also said that Opie would probably continue to have seizures since they were very aggressive happening every week. It would be a life long condition. Also, the meds would change his personality and make him sluggish and over weight. Liver problems were guarranteed
The thought of him going through all this, with the meds and still having seizures was too much. I read that they can die during a grand mal seizure because of many things like suffocating, heart attack, core body tempurature going up too high. I couldn't bare it, so we chose to have him put to sleep. I was in shock. Seriously in shock.
I had just seen this grand mal seizure and now he is being put to sleep.
I have been beside myself with grief ever since. I felt at the time it was the right decision because I didn't want him to suffer anymore...but of course you second guess yourself. I miss him so much I can't stand it.
Now the first cat is confused as to where he is. She keeps looking for him and this upsets me more.
I don't think I will ever be the same. I am so upset that a healthy beautiful special cat could be taken away from me at only 3 years old.

Dear Missy

Firts of all let me say how sad I am for you with the loss of your darling Opie. He truly sounds such a little character who has had an extraordinary life with his dear Mummy, dad and kitty sister. How amazing that he recovered from his terrible problems as a baby and grew to be such a strong and wonderful companion for you all. Your relationship has been the best by the sounds of it and you will be feeling his loss so badly. Please know that I am thinking of you and sending love and prayers for you and your family. Opie is now free from all the horrible suffering that would have been his life living with these awful seizures and future liver problems. I know from experience as our black lab, Sooty suffered with Epilepsy and was on Phenobarbitone which eventually did cause his Liver to fail. His last day with us he had 7 massive seizures before we could get him seen by the vet, he left us on the journey there. I think if we'd known how his life would be living with this debilitating illness we would have been stronger and like you made the decision to end his suffering.I know you will feel so sad that you had to make the decision, but you did what was right for your sweet Opie, believe me. Just so sad that these things happen to our fur babies when they are so young, but just remember what a wonderful, and cherished life he had , he most probably had 20 years worth of love and companionship in his dear precious few years.
If you feel able it would be lovely to see a photo of your Opie and also your little girl kitty who will be feeling lost without her buddy. You will be a great comfort to each other.

Love Jan and My Angels and Pixie x

Thank you so much for your kind words. It really helps me a lot.

Here is a picture when Opie was young with Lily his sister.
(Opie is the flame point, and Lily is the seal point)

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Opie recently

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Oh Missy, thanks for posting the beautiful photos. What adorable darlings.
Hugs Jan xx

Missy,

I am so sorry about your beautiful Opie. He sounds so much like my Mr. Jingles who sleeps just like Opie with his head on my pillow back feet against my tummy & arms around my neck. I always say he is so much like a dog too. Must be a Siamese trait.

Those seizures are terrifying to watch. The first one my poodle Flossie had just sent me into a panic...... She only had them every 3-4 weeks near the end but I hated watching them. Then she would take about an hour to get over it. So I know the fear you had and I think you did absolutely the right thing for Opie.

3 years is such a short time for such a loving kitty like him but just think what would have been his life without you? Much shorter I am sure considering the condition he was in when you got him. You provided care and a loving home that he never would have known and that was worth so much seeing what he was faced with before he came into your life.

I love your pictures. Thinking of you and Lily who is grieving also. Ginger

Thank you so much for your kind words.
I wanted to share this photo of Lily up on top of the dresser with Opie's ashes. I had just brought Opie's ashes home and she got right up to them and wanted to sit near them.
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It was 2 weeks ago that Opie passed. I feel I am not getting any better dealing with it. I may even be getting worse.
I work from home so Opie was with me every second of the day. When I would have to go out to run errands, he would panic about me leaving him. He would be waiting by the door when I got home. Now when I open the door, he is not there. Everything I do reminds me of him. When I get out of the shower he would run into the bathroom and lick the water off my legs. He knew to stay away from the stove when it was on. He would do a funny meow as I told him not to get close. When I would put their food down he would follow me to the dish and then run back past Lily and she would tackle him. Lily still waits for him to come running out when I put her food down. She waits on her haunches looking for him, I have to tell her every time that he is gone. It upsets me so much. When my printer would print Opie would come running to watch it go back and forth. The list goes on and on. Everything I do reminds me of him and it hurts everytime I have to do those things because he's not here.
I am trying to focus on Lily and keep her happy. She has such a different personality than Opie. She is withdrawn and nervous. He was outgoing and loving. She is such a sweet kitty and I know she deserves lots of love in these trying times.
I just can't believe he is gone.

Hi Missy
I am so very sorry about the death of your kitten Opie -- I don't understand why some pets die so young -- and 3 is extremely young for a cat. I lost my first ever dog on Dec 7th -- she was just a couple of months over 11 - which I think is too young as well. I don't really know what to say to make you feel better -- I do know that with time the pain isn't as awful. Please come back here whenever you need to -- there are so many awesome people who are so helpful - and for me it helps just knowing that I'm not alone in my grief. take care of yourself and hug your other kitten for me.
Sharon

Hi there Missy, so sorry to hear about your cat, and oh what a cat! He sounded so special and extraordinary, and I am so sad for you. It's much much harder than we expect when our pets get ill. My 14 year old Labrador died in February and it was devastating, so I can completely understand how sad you are, it is a horrible thing to go through. It does not matter how old they are, it's still hard.

Just wanted to say hello and the beginning of your story was amazing, it's wonderful that you could nurse Opie back to health from pretty much death's door. I think that it was great all the silly things he did, especially how he slept with his paws around you! Too cute!!

Anyway, hope you are doing okay despite your sweet and very smart Opie's passing. Thinking of you.

Moira

Thank you so much for your replies.
I still am so very upset. I just can't believe this has happened.
I am so happy to have this forum to come talk to because friends and family are starting to tire of me going on and on about this.
(((hugs)))

I am so very sorry for your loss, what beautiful cats, both of them. They look so loved and well looked after and it's thanks to you Opie had those three wonderful years filled with love. Of course you made the right choice, we all second guess our decisions when much loved animals pass, no matter how they go. We want them back so badly that we want to go back and change things and save them somehow, even though we have already done the very best humanly possible first time 'round. I lost my darling boy at three as well, I have much sympathy for you. Hugs xx

madi xx

I'm having a hard time today. It's been six weeks (I think, I'm lost in time) since Opie passed. I am still so sad.
It took a while for the fancy urn I ordered to arrive. Opie's ashes was put in a standard urn from the vets. I wanted to get a handmade pottery urn to put him in. Finally it arrived. I had to break the original urn to get the ashes out (I knew they were in a bag inside the urn) they had glued the lid on. So I went out on the balcony and broke the lid off and pulled the bag of ashes out. I held the bag of ashes in my hands and started to cry. I just couldn't believe this was Opie. It brought back a lot of hurt.
I put the ashes into the nice handmade urn and added the mouse toy he loved. I went to the mall and got a little brass name place with his birth date and death date engraved on it to glue to the urn.
The grief is just so strong. I didn't think I would at this level of grief still. I am starting to wonder if I ever will be okay with his passing. I'm thinking maybe I should see a psychiatrist about it. Opie was like my child and to be taken away so young....it's so hard to deal with. I just can't seem to be at peace with it all.
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Hi Missy,

I think it would be a great idea to talk to a professional about Opie. When my dog Callaway died 7 months ago I went right away to talk to a therapist and it helped me to deal with my loss. I still go and see her every week to sometimes talk about Callaway and other issues in my life.

I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time but I can so relate. After Callaway died I seriously didn't think I would survive but I am doing better. His death affected me like no other and I still miss him so much! But I promise you that it does get better with time. I do think you should see a therapist and keep coming on here to talk, we will help you thru your grief.

Take care,
Rhapsedy

missy, I'm so sorry about Opie. Your story brought tears to my eyes.

I hope you find peace soon.

Thank you so much Sasha. Hey, I'm in Toronto too
I'm still having such a hard time. I can't believe Opie is gone.
I miss him so much.
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I get that way sometimes too. I know Sasha is gone, but I still can't believe it.
Opie was a beautiful cat.

Still struggling to come to terms with Opie dying. I really feel like I have been in a haze ever since.
Here is a picture of Opie and Lily with some catgrass. Lily loves catgrass and Opie would do whatever she did. He didn't like the taste of it, but would chew on it because lily was.
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It was 2 months ago today Opie left to fly with the angels.
I miss him terribly.

Hi there Missy,

Just wanted to say hello - your posts are so sad and you are still missing your sweetie so much, it's so hard isnt' it? I still miss my Stormy so much some days too, every time I see black Labrador my heart lstill skips a beat.....These animals are so devoted, sweet and innocent, it's not surprising we miss them so much when they are gone, is it?

Anyway, just wanted to say hello and hope you are doing okay despite missing your Opie so much, we all understand.

Moira

Hang in there Missy, my thoughts and prayers are with you. xx


madi xx

Thinking of you, Missy.


love and hugs xx Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Thanks so much you guys.
I'm still totally devastated. What drives me nuts is, there is nothing I can do to bring him back. I want him back. But I can't get him back. It's hard to deal with. I know a lot of you are dealing with the same feelings. I keep telling myself that his life wouldn't have been good if he were still here. But that doesn't help me much. Nothing seems to make me feel better. I guess I just have to keep waiting for time to heal me.

Feeling sad today.
Today was grocery day. For the first time since Opie died, I got some meat at the deli. I used to always get a little bit of shaved roast beef for him as a treat. I would tell the guy at the deli that it was for my cat. He would say what a lucky cat I had. Today I told him that Opie passed away. It's just so sad

I'm so sorry that you're feeling your loss so badly. It's so weird when it hits us and how it hits us. I just met our new neighbors and they started talking about their dog and they said "hope he's not too annoying". OF course I proceeded to say how much I love dogs and how we had to put our doggie down right before the move and then I started crying......in front of people I don't even know. Crazy.

In any case, be kind to yourself. Know that your baby is with you in spirit. Talk to Opie. Let her know how much you miss her and love her. I am sure Opie is listening.

Friday was the 3 month anniversary of Opie's passing.
I am still so heart broken. I have come to accept it a bit better, but I feel a part of me is missing.

I'm thinking of you today, Missie, and wondering how you are doing over the long weekend? Opie was a big part of your life--I'm not surprised that his loss still really really hurts. But am glad to hear that you have come to accept it more.

Opie was a real sweety-pie and very beautiful!

Big Hugs from Margi and Ladywolf

Thank you so much for your kind words.
A lot of not-so-nice things have been happening around me lately. Opie was always such a bright light in my life. A sweet ray of sunshine. That cat never ever was in a bad mood. Not once. He was always purring and happy to see you.
I miss him so much. I really need that sunshine back in my life. My other cat is nice, but just not the same. She is a nervous cat and doesn't show love the way Opie did. I feel like getting a kitten, but I am quite sure Lily wouldn't like it. I will just wait a bit longer and see how I feel.
Hugs again for your comment!

I'm having a hard day. I was on my way to the post office before it closed and saw two people looking at a squirrel laying the on the sidewalk. I went over and asked what happened and they said he just fell out of the tree and was still alive. I didn't know what to do! I didn't have a cell phone and I was late for the post office. So I ran to the post office dropped off the packages, and ran back. The squirrel was still there he had moved a bit from where he was. He was covered in flies and would have what looked like seizures every so often. I started to cry. One man came over and he said that someone had already called animal services and that they were on their way. I wanted to move the squirrel out of the way of cars (it's kind of like a drive way there where cars pull in) so this guy went and got a sallow cardboard box and helped me move the squirrel to where he was safe from traffic in the garden. Everyone then left and I stayed with the squirrel. He would convulse every few minutes. I ran back into the building to make sure they called animal service to come help. He said they did and that they would come within the hour. I stood out there for three hours. The squirrel stopped breathing. I am quite sure he is dead. They never showed up to help.
I am sad now. Brings back sad feelings of my Opie.

Hi Missy
I guess they didnt come because it was a squirrel but they to are also a living and beautiful animal. Some people just dont have feelings. We here like I have said many many times are special people that is why are angels were sent to us. I know your angel Opie
is now caring for that little guy. I am sorry it brought back sad feelings.

Hugs
Anna and my precious angels

I think it's very sweet of you, and kind, that you stayed there with the squirrel. That happenned to me years ago, at the Post Office also, finding a baby bird hopping around the parking lot. I got a box, picked her up, went to different business' to find someone to take her. Then found out about a local pet rescue/rehab that took the bird. Up here where I live, there are a lot of deer, and I see dead ones along the hiway every now and then. And like you, it makes me think of having had to put Kota down. It's nice to know there are people like you in the world. I am sorry for your loss of Opie.

Dennis
"My religion is simple...my religion is kindness."
--Dalai Lama--

Missy,

I'm sorry you're having to go through this grief period. It seems as though it will never end. Your story of the squirrel broke my heart. I've been feeding squirrels in the park lately and it's one of the few things that distracts me from my own grieving.

I once tried to rescue a tiny mouse where I worked. They had put out glue traps, which I think is absolutely horrible. I found the tiny little mouse trapped but still alive. I rode the bus to and from work at the time and had the mouse (still stuck to the trap) in a small box on my lap. When I got home I proceeded to cut the fur away and get him free. It took a couple hours altogether. I have no idea how long he had been stuck but I'm certain that the glue was toxic and even though I couldn't ultimately save him I at least made his last few hours more comfortable. I was heavy into journaling at the time and wrote a long entry that ultimately became stained with tears. I buried him in the garden of my apartment building.

I think the death of any creature is terrible. When we form an emotional connection it becomes especially hard to cope with. Our little bundles of furry love have forever changed us for the better. And their loss changes us yet again. I only hope that you continue to push through this terrible grief and that each day gets a little easier.

Today is one week since my little Gabby passed. It's so difficult. Almost unbearable. I keep wishing her back. Wishing this was all some awful nightmare. Almost too hard to go on. But we must endure.

Please be well and find happiness when you can.

John

Your story about the mouse made me cry. It is so sad what people do to animals that they don't consider "pets". It is heartbreaking. It's good to know there are people like you who care about all animals
.
I'm hanging in there. Some days are worse than others. I find I can distract myself from Opie's passing, but every once in a while something will trigger a certain memory and I will fall apart. It will be 4 months since he died this Friday. In some ways it feels like it was yesterday. I don't know when I will get over it. I am actually moving in a couple of months. I partly decided because there are too many memories here that break my heart all the time. A new place will help me heal and give me a new start. I feel sad though that Opie won't be there with me to see the new place....but I am bringing his ashes, so it will kind of be like he is there too. My other cat Lily will get a fresh start too. Even though it has been 4 month since Opie died, she still looks for him and expects him to pop out of his usual spots. A new place will be good for her too I think.
Anyways, thank you so much for your response.

It was four months ago today Opie died. My heart breaks for him everyday.