I had to put my beautiful girl Bandit to sleep on saturday. She was 17 years old. I adopted her when she was 3, and for 14 years, she was with me 24/7. I work from home, so we were always together. I honestly don't remember not having her anymore it has been so long. She was such a huge part of my life. Whenever I was sad, I just had to look at that face and I would smile. I can't believe I'll never see her again, never get to hold her. I'm so sad - she really was my best friend.

Dear Banditsmom

I am so sorry for the sad loss of your darling girl Bandit. I love the picture of her, she sure looks beautiful.
What a wonderful life you shared together, and no matter how many years we are honoured to share with our precious fur babies, it is never long enough. Try and remember how looking at her dear little face made you so happy, when you were down. She would not want her Mom to be hurting and she will be watching over you. The are many of us here who know the dreadful heartache you are feeling. The kind and caring people on here certainly helped me so very much.
I am thinking of you and your Angel girl Bandit and sending comforting hugs.
Love Jan and my Angels Tasha and Noushka x

Thanks so much Jan - I really appreciate. It is so wonderful that there is a place like this where we can share how heartbroken we are. I knew I was going to have a very hard time when I lost her. She was my angel, just a wonderful soul and the sweetest dog anyone could hope for. You angels are beautiful!

Thankyou Banditsmom

Yes we are so lucky to have our beautiful Angel Fur Babies who will watch over us, our soulmates forever.
Hugs
Jan and My Angels x

It is unreal what an empty feeling losing your pet can have. I keep thinking she will be there, I am so conditioned to her being her, always with me. I was lucky to have her, and I will miss her always. Sorry, just going to post my ramblings here.

A few dog quotes:

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~Roger Caras

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. ~Gilda Radner

Hi Banditsmom--

What a beautiful little pugster! I've always loved the breed--they have such character and they ARE such characters. I am so sorry for your loss of her--how very very sad.

I know what you mean with all you said. My story will likely be similar. My Ladywolf is about 15 now, I've had her since she was 3, and we have been together almost all the time too--rarely separated. Through gaining and losing a lot of money, gaining and dumping a serious boyfriend, almost dying, losing everything I owned, moving several times, living in the woods for periods of time, Ladywolf has been the only constant in my life. Now she has cancer--tumors on her rear leg, and though I am pampering her with people food and doing everything I can think of to keep her comfortable, I think that I am going to be facing the same thing myself pretty soon. I can't imagine life without her--I feel as if I will lose much of my identity. My friends recognize the specialness of our bond too, and they also can't imagine me without my Wolf. Woe is me, I am trying to make the best of our remaining days or weeks or months...

My heart goes out to you. Yes, thank God this forum exists--I just lost my other critter, Poppers, about five weeks ago--that's when I found this heartful, soulful place to express my feelings and try to help others a little bit...

Keep the faith, and keep on remembering the good times as much as you can, as I'm trying to do too...

Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf

Banditsmom,

I too have lost a pet near and dear to me. Finding this website was a Godsend for me, and I hope that it too helps you in the way it's helped me. Feel free to "rant" as it seems to be a very comforting source for many of us.

Bandit is such a beautiful girl and I know you were lucky to have her. Though these times are tough know that you have others here who know and feel exactly what you are going through. We understand every ounce of pain. I am sorry for your loss and know that Bandit is in heaven now hanging with all of our lost pets. Keep her in your heart and keep her memory alive. Know that even though she is gone in body her spirit is forever surrounding you.

Sending lots of love and hugs your way
Hopelessheart (Friend's mom)

Oh Margi, I'm so sorry - even though we know it's inevitable, it doesn't make it any easier. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, but I knew if I didn't do it, it was for me and not for her. She meant(s) too much to me to watch her suffer. You and Ladywolf will be in my thoughts.

Thank you so much Hopelessheart. I am so sorry for your loss. I have read some of the other stories, but this is still so new to me I haven't been able to offer comfort to others yet. Yes, she will always be with me. She truly was my angel!

Dearest Banditsmom,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences. My heart truly goes out to you and I can very much empathize. Alex was 15 and 1/2 years old, had never been sick one day in his life and had a life span expectancy of 35 to 40 years or longer. Like you, my feather kid spent every waking moment with me and we did lots and lots of things together. I miss him more than mere words can express. So, I hoped I could find something special to help ease your gosh awful pain and grief. It took me quite a while, then beautiful Bandit suggested that she pay you a visit and give you many kisses right here and now.

I hope and pray that this brings you some small comfort, Dear One.

Please click on Bandit's picture.

You and your precious Angel Fur Child Bandit are in my thoughts and prayers as I wing many loving Angels to soothe and gently guide you through this most difficult time. Please come back as often as you're able to talk more about your beloved Bandit and how you're feeling. It's by sharing and caring that we help each other find that Healing Path.

I Wish You Peace!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Oh Dottie, thank you so much. The pug licking the screen is a favorite of mine, it always makes me smile. I am so sorry for you loss as well. It's amazing what an empty feeling losing a treasured friend can bring. She truly was my furry angel - such a good girl, never sick either. I still can't believe it's true. I thought I heard her cry out last night, and at times I forget and get up to do something for her. It's amazing how conditioned I am to her.

A few photos of my baby:

I am so sorry for your loss. Bandit is a cutie pie. It's been 10 weeks for me since I lost my soulmate dog. The first couple weeks it was hard for me to breathe, eat, sleep...I didn't start functioning until about 6 weeks...I was just letting life roll on by. Brutus was like Bandit...with me constantly, I only took one vacation away from him in his 13 years...if Brutus couldn't go along, then we wouldn't go. I don't cry everyday anymore, but still get a tear in my eye whenever I think of him, which is constantly. It is a hard road you have ahead of you...I will be praying for you...praying for peace and acceptance..praying for happy memories of your dear Bandit.

Hugs,
Brutus' Mom

Thanks Brutus Mom - I read your story the first night I came here - I am so sorry for you loss. I haven't been able to leave words of encouragement for anyone else yet, I have been so sad, and it is still so new. I'm so grateful I have this site to come to when it hits me how much I miss her (which is does so often).

I know what you mean...take your time. I went through stages (and still do)...I went over a week without posting until just the other day...I just couldn't bring myself to post. I read others threads but felt I had no words to help them...could only say "I'm sorry" and I felt they deserved more so I just didn't post at all. I know how much you miss her...I'm crying for you. Hang in there.

I can't even get rid of anything of her's yet. I have it in a bag, but I can't throw it out. Some things, no question, I will keep forever, but the little things, her shampoo, eye drops, I can't even seem to get rid of that stuff. I'm not ready to lose any of her yet. 14 years of things for her I have accumulated. I will find stuff everywhere.

Banditsmom--

There's nothing wrong with holding onto Bandit's "stuff" for a long time--even for the rest of your life, if you want to! It doesn't take up much space, and it's a reminder for you of her. I have at least the tags of every pet I've had since 1955... (What a cool collection that is now! It brings tears to my eyes, but they're mostly tears of joy by now, except for Poppers, whom I just lost. I'm not quite at the joy stage yet with her...)

Don't push yourself to do ANYTHING before you're ready!

Hugs--

Margi and Ladywolf

I know, I'm not going to. I have a bag of stuff sitting in my hallway - I haven't been able to move it. It's really stuff I do need to get rid of, but I can't yet. I feel like I'm trying to clear her out, and that's the last thing I really want.

I am picking up her ashes on Saturday, it's already making me anxious thinking about it.

Brutus' ashes were ready the next day, I picked them up 3 days after though. I thought I would just totally freak out, but it actually helped to get them...almost like a type of closure...at least I knew where he was. I put up a shelf with his 2nd fav toy, his collars, a couple plants, photo, poem I wrote for him, candle and a couple other misc. things...that's where I keep his ashes when we are at that house. I put a colliage up above it...it was actually very theraputic for me to do all that stuff...the shelf is in my bedroom above where his bed used to be....I can see it perfectly from my spot in the bed. If you go to the memorial section of the forum, there is a pic there of it and my poem...it could give you some ideas of things you could do for Bandit if you wanted....it really helped me get through the first couple weeks.

What a sweet baby. I can see why looking at her face brought a smile to your face. I love her just from one glance. My heart is with you.
Barb

I know exactly what you mean Banditsmom. It's sort of like a really bad nightmare from which we cannot awake. Oh, but what a beautiful baby girl! Obviously so loved and cared for enormously. It's really hard, if not impossible, at this time to rest assured that we will be reunited with our Rainbow Bridge Babies on That One Sweet Day and for all Eternity!

Now? All those funny, lovely, cute and other times we shared seem to serve as only hurtful reminders because we cannot reach out to touch, pet, kiss, hold, smell their puppy breath and watch them frolic. Time. It takes time to find that Healing Path. We just gotta keep reminding ourselves that our babies are young again, healthy, whole, have lots of pals with which to play and all their hearts desire at The Bride. All except you. But, that day will come. You and your beloved Angel Fur Child Bandit both remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Perhaps you'd like to see a very lovely and loving site about The Rainbow Bridge where Bandit waits patiently for you. Please turn up your volume and click on Bandit Angel's picture below. Allow for a short loading time, then click where it tells you to do so. Here it is ...

Many Comforting Hugs to you and your Angel Fur Kid Bandit!

Winging More Loving Angels Your Way!

I Wish You Peace!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

I was reading posts this afternoon, and was reading your post with your lovely tribute to Brutus. I saw the shrine you made for him. I have a similar area ready for Bandit. I just ordered prints of some of my favorite photos and had an urn made for her. I am hoping I feel that way about her ashes, I haven't done this before, so I don't really know how I will feel once I get them. I hope I am comforted having her here.

Thanks so much Barb.

Oh Dottie, that video made me cry - I hope it's true, I hope one day I do get to hold her again. Thank you!

Sweet Banditsmom,

Of course it's true.

Please know this: "Believe ... And you shall see!" It will be. Honest and for true.

"The Rainbow Connection"

Why are there so many songs about Rainbows,
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And Rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection ...
The Lovers, the Dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection,
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and me!

All of us under its spell ...
We know that it's probably Magic!

Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm s'posed to be.
Someday we'll find it! The Rainbow Connection ...
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and me!

"You and me together, Mom! We'll make a Rainbow Connection!"

"I Love You So Much!!!"

"Gonna go play with my pals at The Bridge Now. See ya latter, Mommy!"

Dottie, wow that video made me cry. Thank you. I really appreciate all your kind words.

I actually got myself to go out last night and try to lighten my spirit a little. It worked for a bit, but coming home to her not being here was like a punch to the gut. I feel like I lost my anchor, she was such a part of my day routine, my life routine - for 14 years I would get up and walk her & feed her before I did anything else. She also ended my work day - when it was time for her dinner, I would stop for the day. I feel lost without these anchors, these responsibilities. She gave me purpose.

5 days...seems so hard to believe...5 days

I so understand...after Brutus left, I felt like I wasn't needed anymore, sometimes I still feel that way. My whole life revolved around him. I have 2 other dogs and a husband who need me, but it's not the same as what it was with Brutus...it's almost like we were one, such a deep connection. And Brutus was high maintenance and I was the one who took care of him. I guess in reality, I needed him more than he needed me probably. It's hard to adjust to not being needed like that...and not needing as well, very very hard. Hugs.

I know exactly what you mean. I had that with Bandit too, she was so special to me. I got two sympathy cards today, it meant so much to me that people in my life realize what a big loss for me this is. I know so many other people don't get acknowledgement like that.

Banditsmom--

That's so sweet, that people would think to send you cards. Often people rally round right at the time of crisis, and then just forget all about it. I'm happy for you.

I did a kind of strange thing after Poppers died. I "stole" her from my abusive landlord in CA. (he wasn't abusive to her, but he was abusive to ME!!!) and I'd had her for almost 11 years. For some reason, when she died, I wanted him to know what a long and happy life she'd had, that she'd passed, but that Ladywolf was still with me (he loved Ladywolf too. So in spite of the hard feelings I hold towards him and always will, I put together a card with a pic of Poppers and Lady on it, and sent him notice of Popper's long life and relatively pain-free passing. However, I did NOT put a return address on it. It seemed to be an act of completion for me.

Bandit is absolutely adorable! I can see why you got so very attached. Her appearance and big heart, and then all those strange woofling noises that Pugsters make--they're so endearing. I am so sorry, again, for your loss of her.

Hugs--Margi and the Wolf

Margi,

I'm glad that brought you some closure. You saved her, and I am sure she was/is eternally grateful. I feel like I did that for Bandit too when I adopted her. We just fit, she knew she lucked out, and so did I!

Thank you - Bandit had a way, even people that weren't dog people loved her. She just had such a wonderful temperament. And yes, I love all her pug noises, the snorts, the sneezes, the amused me endlessly!

I hope you are doing ok!

We time our day by them and they to us. They get us up for breakfast, join us for coffee, are waiting at the door when we return home from work, errands or just taking out the trash. They are a key thread in the tapestry of our lives and when it ends there is a hole in the weaving. And our hearts. Sometimes I see my cat Tatem in the flash of sunlight, the depth of a shadow. I think I feel her jump onto the bed and when I reach out for her and she's not there its like I just lost her all over again. Keep coming. Keep reading. People here understand how hard it is to pick up and get on with life. And no matter who tells you to do it it is up to you how and when you do.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

alison

Thank you Alison - just knowing everyone here understands means so much. I can only read so much here at a time, I get so sad for everyone's loss, probably because mine is still so new. I just don't know what to say to anyone else yet since I am so raw. Unconditional love, it is so beautiful to have, and so painful to lose.

Bandits Mom,

It took me months before I could respond to anyone. It's been five months and I finally feel ready to help other people. Right now, you just need to deal with your feelings and we are all here to help. One day you will be able to help others when their pain is so new. Please come on here as often as you can because as I'm sure you have figured out there are some amazing people on this forum and they are so supportive.

You are so right about unconditional love, it is AMAZING! We are so lucky that we have experienced unconditional love, there are a lot of people that never do.

I will be praying that you find peace soon.

Rhapsedy

Thanks Rhapsedy.

Tomorrow I pick up her ashes. I am dreading it (I know I am going to be hysterical), although I know I will find some comfort in having her home. I still keep having those moments where I get up to check on her - then in a flash I remember - I'm just so conditioned. I guess it will take a while to break out of the habits I've had with her for 14 years.

For me, Banditsmom, there was a kind of sense of peace in receiving the ashes of the dogs I had cremated--another step in our closure. Maybe by thinking ahead of time that you will be hysterical, and experiencing those feelings, you won't be hysterical tomorrow. But if you are, it's perfectly okay! Certainly none of US will judge you for it!!

Keep the faith--

Margi and the Wolf

I'm hoping that is how I will feel. It still does seem so hard to believe without her here, so if it helps with the acceptance, I welcome that! And I know if I'm not ok, I can come here, and someone will listen to me.

Awww! Precious Bandit, your Mommy loves you so much!!!

Hang in there, Banditsmom. We're all here for you, Hon.

Many Comforting Hugs to you and your Angel Fur Kid Bandit!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Oh Dottie, I love that heart with the pug, so cute. Tomorrow is going to be very emotional, but at least I know I can come here when I get home tomorrow night.

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment here, it is greatly appreciated.

Oh Dottie, I love that heart with the pug, so cute. Tomorrow is going to be very emotional, but at least I know I can come here when I get home tomorrow night.

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment here, it is greatly appreciated.

Hi Bandits Mom
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. It's been over weeks since we lost our Sam -- it gets better, but then somedays -like yesterday - it was really bad again. I, too, felt better when we got her ashes back. I know her spirit is free, but at least I know where her ashes are. Take care of yourself today. Bandit would want that.
Sharon

Hi Banditsmom

Thinking of you. I cried all the way home when we went to collect Noushka's ashes. I hugged the little box close to me. When we got home we had a little burial ceremony and put my darling next to our beloved Tasha in the garden where they loved to play together. We planted some snowdrops and other white flowers and shrubs all around them. I felt more at peace as she was back with us, it was a bittersweet time, but I did feel better. Now I am waiting for the flowers to show through. When they do I will post a picture on here.
Sending love and hugs to you and your darling Angel Bandit.

Jan and My Angels xx

Thanks Sharon & Jan

I did feel a bit of peace having her home. I cried quite a bit at the vet, but they were so wonderful about everything. I also got a few photos blown up, so I'm putting those up, so I can have her all around me. I miss her so much, still waking up in the middle of the night to check on her. I'm still a bit numb I think.

I hope you are doing ok too.

I thought I was doing ok today, didn't cry most of the day, but then bed time came and my baby is all I can think about. I miss her so much. I am trying to remember our 14 years of life together. So much changed in the last year as she lost her site and hearing. She couldn't sleep with me anymore, because I was afraid she would fall off the bed. I wish I could have had one more night of her sleeping with me, and putting her wonderful pug face in mine when she sensed I was waking up. She was all about her food - if I even twitched, that was her in. I wish I could have had some of those days again before I lost her.

I miss you Bandit.

Click to view attachment
Mommy,
Please don't be sad I am always with you in your heart

Your Angel Bandit
xoxoxo

thank you both so much - it was so helpful to see this when I woke up.

I miss you Bandit - you were my baby - my best friend - so full of love, I am so grateful for the 14 years we had together. You will always be in my heart.

Got my copy of the book 'Coping With Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet' - you know I will be reading it into the wee hours tonight. When I go to sleep seems to be when I feel it most. I've heard it's a wonderful book.

Hi Bandits Mommy,

At night seems to be the hardest time for me also. Let me know how the book is I may consider reading it myself. It will be 9 weeks for me on Wensday and am still having hard days and alot of bad nights. Night time is when I cry and think of Max the most. Keep me posted on the book. I pray for each and everyone of us specially the newest members.

Hugs
Anna & Angel Max
xoxoxo

Hi Anna,

I've heard it is a wonderful book.

I took part in a chat online last week, maybe you should check it out, there is one tonight at 8pm (EST)
Pet Loss Chat

This site had a lot about the book:

Pet Loss

I'm so sorry you are still having such a hard time. I miss Bandit so much, but I do have some peace b/c I know it was her time.

Please let me know if I can help with anything.

Nadine

Thank You Nadine I have a hard time I think because my max was only 7 1/2 and he was just so healthy up until a week before he got sick. That is why I still have all the what if's and did I make the decission to soon. I guess I will always have those feelings. I just know I could not let him suffer since cancer is such a painful desease. Removing his spleen would have been a major surgery also requiring blood tranfusions and was told that it was providing that the cancer had not spread. I have to believe in my heart that the Vet new what they were doing. I have to have faith that his dianoses was correct based on his ultra sound and blood work. But it still doesnt make it any easier on myself. Ending a life is a serious decision specially when he was so full of it a week prior. I pray that if it wasnt the right decision that my Angel forgives me. I love and miss him with every breath I take. Thank you for your kind words.

Anna