I just lost my dog and I can't eat, I can't sleep, I don't know what day it is, I don't know if I have clean underwear on. Can someone tell me how to get through these dark days? This is the first time I've used one of these fourms and find this very complicated.

Dear Kitroll--

I'm so sorry for your loss, but believe me, we ALL understand and have been there ourselves. Welcome to the Lightning-Strike Forum, where there's lots of information and wisdom and comfort and support to be found. I'm a relatively new member myself, having lost one dog, Poppers, about three weeks ago, and having a Wolfdog, Ladywolf, who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.

I suggest that you read through some of the recent postings--there's a lot of knowledge and insight to be gained from them. What you describe is totally "normal," painful as it is. Please tell us more about your dog, and post a picture if you can. That way, we will know more about the fur angel we are talking about.

Suffering, unfortunately, seems to be a natural part of the grieving process. It DOES get easier with time, but I know that that is hard to believe right now. No matter how much pain you are in, you do need to take care of yourself by eating and sleeping--your dog would want that for you!

I'm sure you'll get lots more supportive posts here--I just wanted to welcome you and tell you how sorry I am for your loss and for what you are having to go through.

Sending many blessings your way--

Margi and Ladywolf

P.S. The Forum is really not hard to use--just take your time and be patient with yourself and ask for posting help if you need it!

Hi Kitroll
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. I lost mine on 12/7 -- a little over a month ago. I can't say that I feel any better yet -- I have some good moments now, but there are times I miss Sammy so much I feel I can't breathe. I agree - read some of the posts - everyone here has been or is where we are now -it helps me to know that it does get better with time. It's too bad that our dogs don't live long enough.

Take care of yourself
Sharon

Hi, kitroll, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved companion. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. This grief journey is a one day at a time journey. Clinical professionals are now recognizing that the grief journey for the loss of a beloved companion is identical to the grief journey for the loss of a human family member or friend. Most professionals now recognize that the first year of grief is the hardest because it is filled with all the "firsts" that continually remind us that we no longer have the precious physical presence of our beloved companion with us: the first hour, the first day, the first week, the first month, the first holiday, the first birthday, the first anniversary, the first vacation, etc., all of the "firsts" that mark our time with our beloved companions are usually hardest during the first year of loss. However, as time progresses during this first year, eventually the deep grief does ease to where we can think of our beloved companion and remember the good times together without it being so painful. Believe me when I say I do understand the severe stress you are under right now, as I am just beginning to "function" since the loss of my wonderful Black Lab, Oslo, on November 29, 2009. Coping in deep grief is very hard to non-existent. It seems like we are operating on "automatic pilot", and that is the body's and mind's response to shock and emotional trauma. Making decisions of any nature is almost impossible. And the reality that "life goes on" seems incredibly cruel - - bills still have to be paid, jobs still have to be done, etc., all while our world has instantly disintegrated to feeling totally meaningless. At some point in time we can even begin to think that we are going "crazy" because our ability to function is at an all time low and remembering if and what we have done that we normally do has really been done is almost impossible. There are two very important things for you to remember right now, kitroll: The first is that what you are feeling and experiencing is absolutely normal and nothing to feel ashamed about. Anyone who tries to diminish what you are feeling needs to be avoided until you are emotionally stronger, if possible, because they do not understand what you are going through. Which brings me to the second very important thing for you to remember: You are NOT alone in this grief journey. Each of us here knows first-hand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, kitroll, and please feel free to share with us what happened to your precious companion and how you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I am so sorry for your loss..as others have said we understand all too well. My loss will be two months on Monday. Just know we all feel your pain and sorrow. Things do get better with time...but I'm not sure the pain ever totally goes away. I just went through the motions of life for pretty much the last two months..I am finally starting to live again..I still cry alittle everyday but I am functioning now...I will be thinking of you and your fur angel.

Hugs,
Brutus' Mom

Kitroll, I'm so sorry for your loss and that you have reason to come to this forum. It's a wonderful place to be during the healing process but I wish none of us needed to be here. What you are feeling is completely normal. I lost my cat, Frasier, 4 months ago. All I can say about the first few days is to remember to breathe. Let yourself feel whatever comes naturally for you. Spend some time crying at the top of your lungs. It's exhausting but relieving at the same time. And lastly, just keep waiting for time to pass. It's the only thing that makes anything any better. It does get better in the sense that those screaming episodes become farther in between but they do still come. As I said, it's been 4 months for me and the other day I cried like it was the first day. But once I got it out I was able to go on with my day. Again, I'm so sorry for you. Just breathe.
-Donna

I feel so sorry for the loss of your much loved dog kitroll, my loss was devastating too and I felt exactly the same way as you do now. The grief overwhelms you, mine was so bad I didn't think I would get through it and without the support of these "angels" here I know I never would have. I resorted to medication, but then I found the people here and they are the ones who really got me through . We all have something in common, we have all been where you are now and sympathise with you so very much. Do you have someone at home who understands your loss and supports you?
Maybe when you are ready, you can tell us about your beautiful dog. Hugs and love to you xx

madi xx

Hello Kitroll

I am so sorry about your sad loss. It's 4 months now for me, still very bad at times, but at least now I can function. This forum is full of great people who all understand only too well the devastation that losing a beloved pet can cause. We've all been through or are still going through all the various stages of grieving and hopefully healing.

I hope you can work out how to use the forum, took me a while, but there are people to help.
Please if you feel able it would be lovely to hear more about you and your darling dog.
Thinking of you.
Hugs

Jan and My Angels Tasha and Noushka x

Unfortunately, there is no easy way through it. The only way through is, well, to go through it. You grieve. You hurt. You cry. And it takes time. When Eileen died, I totally fell apart. Couldn't function for a good while, really. Slowly the pain... well, maybe it doesn't go away, but it changes. It gets softer, less sharp. At least it did for me. I started to be able to breathe again. I could close my eyes without seeing her dead.

I am very sorry for your loss and I do hope you find some peace soon.

Magdalene

I answered back your PM yesterday, I just want to make sure that you got it.

Rhapsedy