Today has been a tough day for me as one week ago today was the last day I spent with Banjo. (It goes without saying but I wish I knew then what I know now...) I remember all the things that I did with him last Tuesday evening.

I had been doing a little better in coping with this over the past 48 hours but today has been really tough. I know that's the nature of this journey (i.e. the good days and bad days) and this pain is all very fresh for me still.

I am consumed by the fear of losing Fiddle (our 1.5 year old cat) in the way we've lost Banjo. Everytime Fiddle goes outside, I'm terrified it will be the last time that I see him. I'm giving serious thought to trying to turn him into an indoor cat just to save my sanity. But, I know that he would be very unhappy with that as he loves to be outside.

Jackie

I am sorry that you are feeling sadness. The pain you feel WILL fade - and we will be here for you to talk to whenever you need us. We are here to support you.

And, since you have asked, I would like to state an opinion that I have regarding outdoor pets - and I hope it helps.

Cats, like dogs, are domestic pets. Members of our family, yes, and wild to within an inch of being little demons at times, but domestic pets nonetheless. They belong indoors.

Animals that roam free, even in the countryside, are at risk from disease, accidents and face all of the dangers that our human children would face. I wouldn't let my cat roam the city streets any more than I would let a 9 year old child. I am uncomfortable enough with the thought of my 11 year old nieces crossing the street and THEY can use the signal - I could not BEAR the thought of my 2 year old cat trying to cross a busy street.

I fully support everyone choosing what is best for their own families, and would never deny their opinions, but I can't logically see why cats are "allowed" to roam free in a world full of disease, accidents and aggression.

I hope I don't get blasted by the group for that opinion, but I felt I had to state it. I feel very strongly about this particular issue. I hope it helps you.

Jackie,
I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough time.....my thoughts are with you....

My other kitty Max used to be an indoor/outdoor kitty before I took him in. I never thought
he would adjust but what helped tremendously was we had a screened-in porch at the time
and that's how the transition was made. I don't know if you have one or not, but if you do
you may want to consider starting out by letting him go out there as a starting point. Whenever
I was home I would keep the interior door slightly open so he could go in and out as he wished.
I don't have that porch any longer, but he does go out on the deck and sleeps in the deck
chair for hours....I always have to peek in on him though to make sure he's alright...

Hope you're feeling better soon...

Love,
Karen

I agree 100% with you! I could never let my beloved pet go outside to roam where there is danger, disease, and accidents waiting to happen. When I read that people let their precious beloved pets out to roam my heart goes out to those pets and I pray nothing will happen to them. Our pets are like our children and I surely would not let a human child out to roam facing danger and everything else that may come a long. Our beloved pets belong inside the home with their human family where they are safe from all danger, disease, and accidents.

I, to, am taking a chance that I will be blasted by the group but everyone is entitled to their opinion!

Wanda

Jackie, I know just what you mean about feeling very protective toward your remaining cat! My remaining cat IS an indoor cat (he "came" that way and never knew the out of doors)..my outdoor cat also "came" that way (he was a stray and had to be outside or he would be destructive)---I took a chance by taking him in and I would do it all over again just the way I did it. He was my first and only outdoor cat. No one can tell you how you should handle the indoor/outdoor dilemma--and I am not going to "blast anyone for their opinion"..but having lost Ginger out of doors was hard enough, I know I don't need any lectures. You decide how you handle it--I am still on the fence about it...most of me says no more outdoor pets because of the busy street I live near. (On the other hand, neighbors on both sides have have had indoor outdoor cats for years and years that seem to do really great!). I just have to decide if I could handle the risk again emotionally...and I don't think I can. But we are all different. I do like Karen's suggestion about a fenced porch!
I am so sorry you are having a down day. Remember your Banjo loves you no matter what...Banjo may have gone to his other home (the rainbow bridge) or he may have been taken in by someone who thought he was lost....either way I know you miss him more than words can say!! My heart goes out to you!
Love,
Patti

Hi,

As soon as I read your post, I was hoping Patti would reply---and then I saw that she did! I say that because she is very sensitive to this subject and is a very wise soul (everything she writes is full of wisdom)! Her sweet boy, Ginger, really needed to be able to go outdoors in order to be fulfilled, yet she's aware of the dangers.

The cat who is temporarily staying with me, Mack, would go insane if he couldn't go out! So out he goes, whenever he wants. He is a big guy, with excellent instincts, and he's still young.

My Little Girl, who passed on in March of this year, was an indoor cat until she started going out under my supervision (she had slowed down with age and stayed right by my side, whereas in her younger years she would have been too quick to "supervise"!)

Shortly I will be adopting another cat in need of a home. I will keep him or her in because of the dangers out there.

But it's a choice each of us has to make, and I think it depends on the personality of your cat, your own personality (I used to have outdoor cats but now I know I'd be a wreck doing it this way), the dangers in your particular area (lots of traffic? etc.).

Good luck in making the decision!

Love,

Kathy

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I went through the obsessing over the surviving pet too. In my case the surviving pet, Falkor was actually the one that's been chronically ill with a slew of problems. Every day that he is around is a blessing.

Luba never had a sick day, but suddenly collapsed and was gone within 48 hrs. I literally shadowed Falkor for days. I'm not doing it that much any more though. However, I do really try and enjoy my time with him.

One thing that helped me through the worst rough spots with losing Luba was focussing on the fact that Falkor still needed me. I didn't want to feel guilty about missing prescious "Falkor time" because I was too consumed by grief.

Thanks again for all of your wonderful responses and opinions. As Kathy and Patti have experienced, some cats seem to need to be outside. That's how it was for Banjo and that's how it seems to be for Fiddle. Since our loss of Banjo, I absolutely limit Fiddle's outside time to during the day without exception. Of course, this does not eliminate all the hazards of outside as Wanda, Karen and DJ have pointed out. But, for now, it's the compromise that I've settled on to easy my worry and keep Fiddle happy. During the week when we are at school/work, he stays inside all day and goes out from about 3:00 - 7:30ish. He's not always happy about coming in then but, so far, he has always come in for me. On the weekends, he's in and out a little more throughout the day but, again, in by 7:30 at night. Last winter he didn't go out as much when it was very cold so I'm hoping I may be able to convert him to an indoor cat over the winter.

Karen - your idea of a screened in porch is excellent and I wish that I had that option. Oddly enough, my husband had been talking about building such a screened in sunroom onto the house so I think I'll talk to him about that again.

We have decided to keep the kitten that we found last weekend. Fiddle seems to have accepted him and we've named him Muggles. It is my intention for Muggles to remain an indoor cat.

I still miss Banjo so much. But, I'm grateful that I can now think about him in happy times and feel good about the time we did have together.

Thanks again for all of your wonderful support!

Jackie

Jackie! I had to really laugh at the end of your post...."Muggles"!! I love that...because my cat's name is "Ruggles"---my exh named him because we just couldn't land on a name for him--nothing stuck. He had obviously been owned and loved by someone else for a very long time (he was estimated to be over 10 years old when I adopted him) one day after a couple weeks of trying to name him and feeling sorry for the people who lost him my ex just looked at him and said "somewhere, someone is saying..I wonder whatever happened to Ruggles?" It made me laugh and I said--that's it! Ruggles!! (Later I determined that my ex probably had some sort of sibliminal memory because a few miles into his routine sales route was a place called Dr. Ruggles dog and cat hospital)
I never did find Ruggles real owner...although I tried very hard..and they would have a hard time wrestling him away from me now!
I am so GLAD you have adopted Muggles. Very "cosmic" situation you have there with finding him on the heels of looking for Banjo. Thanks for the update..it really brightened my day!