Hi Everyone

So glad I found this site, where we can all relate. Our animals are not animals they are our family.

My girl, blue cattle dog Burnie. She was 15. We had her since day 1. She is my best friend, I love her so much.
She has always been an energetic loving healthy dog, pretty much was always like a puppy. Never anything ever wrong with her, until Friday night when she would not eat her dinner, she was stagering on her legs and breathing shallow. I immediately felt sick as I knew this was not her at all. We rushed her to the vet for an after hours callout. The vet checked her out and said it could be due to the really hot weather we have been having. So we brought her home, somewhat relieved. Hopefully she would be better by morning.
Early yesterday she was no better, if not worse, we rushed her back to the vet, the did tests and x rays to find she had a massive tumor in her stomach that had spread into her lungs. There was nothing they could do for her. We went to the vet and said our goodbye's I was holding her crying, not wanting to ever let her go. We all were will her when she was put to sleep.
All of this in less than 24 hours. We had a healthy happy dog one second and now she has gone.
I cannot stop crying, I can't eat and I havent slept yet. My baby has gone and theres nothing I can do. I want her back so much, I miss her so much!!!I have lost my best friend. I feel my heart and guts have just been torn out of me! I just can't stop the pain that I am feeling!
I just want to share this with people that understand and chat with them. As I know we feel the same about our beautiful little babies.

Dearest Farrie, please accept my most heartfelt sympathies for the loss of your beloved Angel Fur Kid Burnie. She sounds like a beautiful, loving, dear, sweet, wonderful companion and so obviously loved very much! It was all so sudden and not anticipated in the least. Your heart is broken and your world is shattered. I can feel your tears and hear you weep. I am so very sorry.

Please know that you, your family and Fur Kid Angel Burnie are in my thoughts and prayers as I wing many loving Angels to soothe and gently guide you through this most gosh awful difficult time in your life. Of course, we'll light candles for your girl Burnie, too. What a treasure she is and you will always carry her Heart in your Heart.



Please come back as often as you're able to talk about anything you wish or need. It's by sharing and caring that we get through this very difficult time in our lives and begin to find that Healing Path. Any time, day or night, please come back and talk about your Angel Fur Kid Burnie and also about your feelings. I know it may be difficult to even see your PC monitor and key pad through your tears, but the more you talk then the better it will be for you and Burnie both. Take your time though. No hurry. This is all so raw for you and we understand that.

Many Comforting Hugs to You and Your Fur Kid Angel Burnie!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

How very sad to read your story Farrie, there's not a person here who won't know what you're going through. It is devastating I know, by boy Ulriich went suddenly too, he was only a young boy and the pain was indescribable. I so understand you when you say you can't eat or sleep because that is how I was for two weeks and the crying never stopped. After two weeks of not eating or sleeping I had to seek professional help. It was only after I came on to this forum that I really started to recover though, because the people here are the only ones who really understand how you feel. Burnie sounds like she was a wonderful dog and you have had her for so long, she was a member of your family and it is a huge loss for you. I understand the " I just want her back" feeling too, been there, you feel so helpless and lost, I really feel for you. Take care and I hope you find heaps of support here. Hugs.

madi xx

Hello Farrie

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Burnie.
I too joined this website after losing my 13 year old precious Samoyed Noushka, my best friend and soulmate, very suddenly. The same thing happened to us, Noushka all of a sudden went right off her food, and appeared to be 'drunk'. Thats how we thought she looked. Vet said she was probably just having an off day as we all do and to watch her and take her in if no better. The staggering seemed to go but she was off her food and her breathing was shallow so we took her in. They found some mammary growths and as her breathing was bad they said they would keep her in overnight for tests and xrays. The vet called me later to say that my darling girl had pneumonia, but that the lungs seemed clear of tumours. What did I want to do, she said. The pneumonia could be treated, but with no promises and then they would see if the tumours were malignant or not and deal with that as best. I said please treat her straight away . BLess her , I said she has had a great quality of life right up to a few days ago.Please do everything you can for her. Vet said she would probably be in with them for between 5 and 10 days but obviously we could check on her every day. I went to bed feeling more hopeful as the vet had originally thought that growths could have spread to the lungs. I didn't sleep as you can understand but was up early next morning ready to call in to see how she was. At 8 o'clock the phone rang. Oh it was so awful, the vet said 'I'm sorry but Noushka didn't make it through the night'. Oh dear crying again. I couldn't believe it. I felt so dreadful that I wasn't even with her and she was in a strange place with people she didn't know. I had given her such a big hug and kiss and told her I loved her before they took her to the nursing kennel, but oh I just never thought that it was the last time I would see her.

Oh Farrie' I thought it best to let you know what happened. I'm sorry that you are going through this . There are no words to describe the feeling. It's coming up for 3 months now, since Noushka left us to join my other Angel Samoyed Tasha (she left me 4 years ago at age 14).Wanted you to know and share our story.
The people on here have helped me so much . Everyone understands and it is the most amazing place to pour out your feelings and share with others. We all have bad days but as the time passes we find that we also have 'good days' .
Days when we can remember and chat about the the times we've shared with our beloved pets. It's so good to chat about the funny things they did and their special little ways. Even sharing photos, that brings me such comfort.
Just take your time, as we all say on here, it does take a long time , we will never ever forget our darlings but we do learn that life does go on . They would no way want us to be sad and suffering. They have enriched our lives so much, the love we share with them during their all too short lives must be the thing that keeps us going on , for their sakes.
Breathing, eating and sleeping will gradually get easier. The crying, I find still happens every day at some time. But when it starts I try and think of something funny Noushka did to bring back a smile. She hated it if I was 'down'. She would nuzzle my arm so I had to put it round her, then lick , lick , lick and woowoowoo, sounded like she was saying 'I love you'.
I suppose we should be thankful that Noushka and Burnie didn't suffer for too long.That they had good lives right up to the last few days.
They are not hurting now, and they will be watching us from a better place, always there for us, and here with us in our hearts and minds.
My thought are with you and your Burnie.

Love and hugs Jan x

Farrie, I'm so sorry about Burnie. Everything you're feeling is normal. Sometimes you have to remind yourself to breathe. When we had to put our cat, Frasier, to sleep 13 weeks ago, I had so many moments in the first few days where I wasn't breathing. I was crouched on the floor and my body was crying but there was no sound and I wasn't breathing. I was suffocating and felt like there was no way to endure those hours/days. Like you said, it was a physical pain! I felt like Frasier was being ripped from my body. No one but animal lovers can understand that. This forum is a great place. Especially as more time passes and people you know might not think you should still be grieving so much or you feel like you can't talk about her so much, you can always come here. Nobody ever thinks someone is grieving too long. It does get better but there are still days out of nowhere that hit you like a brick wall. All of the "firsts" that we have to go through, especially here at Christmas. I put our Christmas tree up yesterday and today as I was putting the skirt underneath it, I began to cry. Frasier would've been there "helping" me. He would have already gotten in "trouble" for biting the branches and lights. All of those "firsts" are so hard. I know you miss your baby girl beyond words and I'm so sorry. Just keep remembering to breathe in deep.
Donna

Oh Farrie, I am so so sorry. I can't echo enough what Dottie, Madi, Jan and Donna have said...they've all been a huge help to me over the past week as well as others on here. We all know what you are going through...we really do. Tomorrow will be two weeks for me that I said goodbye to my Soul Dog, Brutus. He would of been 13. He was old and tired and had a stroke. I took him into the vets the week prior to have a skin tumor checked, it was fine...however the vet said that I need to make a decision...so I made it for the following week...I struggle everyday with if the timing of my decision was correct...

I cry to God everynight asking to have him back...I know how it feels to have that request denied.

Take your time and don't let anyone tell you how to behave, act or feel...and remember to breathe..I know how hard it is to breathe sometimes.

Hugs to you,
Brutus' Mom

Thankyou all so much for your kind words. You are all wonderful people.
They are picking up Burnie today from the vet for her to be cremated. My feelings are still the same, I miss her so much. I might not post much at the moment, but I have been reading everyone's stories and I know I am not alone.
Thankyou all so very much!

My Baby!!
Burnie

What a beautiful girl!! such a happy looking baby. I really feel for you losing her, it hurts so much I know. Burnie looks similar to the Australian kelpie, they are cattle and sheep dogs we use over here. We have two of them and they have the most beautiful natures. Special hugs to you.


madi xx

Burnie sure is beautiful, thanks for posting the photo and as Madi says how happy she looks.
I spent most of yesterday making up albums of all my photos of Tasha and Noushka, so as you can imagine I alternated between laughing and sobbing. I had quite a day but I am so glad I did it. One or two I will post on here to share with you, when I have got them to the right size to upload.
Thinking of you.

Love and hugs Jan xx

She sure is a beautiful girl....The guy from the pet cremations call tonight to get what earn we wanted for her. We asked when she would be cremated, he let us know that she hers had just started..Very tough thing to hear but was glad we could sit hear and think of her at the time. We lit a candle and had a beer and gave a cheers to our Burnie. We love you so much baby!!!

I cried all the way home clutching Noushkas urn, but as soon as we did a lovely little ceremony and laid her next to her darling friend Tasha in our garden, I felt that she had come home, and I felt comforted. We planted snowdrops and they're just starting to peep through.
Sending you a big hug.
Love Jan xx

Hi Madi

Yeah she's an Australian blue healer. We're here in Australia. As you know they are so energetic, she was full of life until the end!

YES!! a fellow Aussie, now there will be someone online in my time zone when I am. Are these people not the greatest Farrie? they saved my life. I joined an Australian forum at first and I never got one reply and that was at a time when I thought I couldn't last one more day without help. Gees I was a mess back then. I'm glad now anyway, because I wouldn't have met all these wonderful angels if I hadn't joined this forum. My daughter has a dog that looks like Burnie, he is a cattle dog called Pepper, he is a Coolie, not sure if he is a pure breed or not, but I think all these cattle dogs have a similar look and nature. I live in fear of anything happening to that dog because my daughter just can't live without him. My daughter and I went on a recent trip to Melbourne to visit my other two daughters and a son who live over there and after three days she got so homesick for Pepper and ( her parrot ) she had to fly home. Her husband is a stockman and takes Pepper to work with him and when he gets home Pepper jumps off the ute and makes a bee line straight for the house and his mum.
How are holding up Farrie? are you coping? I know only too well where you're at at the moment and I send hugs to you.

Jan was the first person to answer my plea for help when I first came on this forum and she has a special place in my heart, her and her beautiful angel babies. Then there's our Dottie, the angel who has been through so much herself and still works extra hard to cheer us all up, bless her. Gees, she a character, love her to bits!!

madi xx

Farrie, she's so very beautiful and looks so happy, sweet and intelligent. You must be missing her terribly. What a wonderful companion and Fur Kid. I'm certain she's looking over you and your family. So very precious. Lots of Pats and Kisses to Burnie!

Please know you're in my thoughts as is Burnie.

Many Comforting Hugs to you and your Angel Fur Kid Burnie!!!

I Wish You Peace!!!



Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Burnie is beautiful, thanks for sharing her photo.

Hugs to you and hoping you are doing well.

Brutus' Mom

Picked up my Burnie's ashes at the vet tonight. She is sitting in the lounge room with a candle lit next to her.
Still miss her so much!!

Thinking of you Farrie and sending you love and hugs, I understand how you feel at the moment.

madi xx

Oh Farrie
I do so feel for you and I know you will be hurting so much. Burnie is with you again and I hope you feel some comfort, as I did when we collected Noushka. Still very painful but I felt relief that the trip back to the vets was over and she was back where she would want to be.
I wish I could say or do more to help you.
Thinking of you and sending love and hugs.

Jan xx

How you making out? I am thinking of you right now.
Yours so fresh............

Thanks for your thoughts Sheepie.
I guess i'm getting along alot better now. I feel guilty for feeling better.
I have my days though, I have been very angry lately, and still sad. I miss her so much.
We took our other dog Annie for a walk for the first time since Burnie past away. It was quite difficult and was not the same.
I still forget she is not there sometimes and expect to see her when I go out the back sometimes. I guess its just all part of losing something you love so much.
I hope its getting easier for you Sheppie.
Thankyou everyone for your thoughts and kind words, I will not forget!

Sheppie and Farrie...thinking of you both and your fur angels, hoping you are finding peace and hanging in there.

hugs,
Brutus' Mom