Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: Calvin
Lightning-Strike Pet Loss Support Forum > Pet Loss Support > Death and Dying Pet Support
TinaKay
My kitty Calvin passed away at 1:31 this morning from Liver Disease. It came upon him so quickly I can't believe he was sick and now I can't believe he's gone. He was just diagnoised Tuesday. He was having trouble walking and breathing last night so I knew his time was near to leave me.
I put him to bed with me and held him in my arms. He passed away and I haven't stopped crying yet. I miss him so much and every little thing makes me think of him. I had him for 4 years. He belong to a friend who moved away and couldn't take him with her. I adopted him and fell in love. He was my baby boy and I feel like I lost my child. He was only 10 years old. I thought he'd live for at least another 5 to 8 years. I know that's stupid as cats get sick at different times and die but I never thought my Calvin would leave me like this.
I also have two other cats, Jessie (who I've had since she was a kitten and she's 12) and Mr. Boots who really belongs to my Mother who lives with me but I love him too. He will be 3 months old the 1st of September. I've been loving on them extra today.
Calvin is the first pet that I have had to die. It's so hard. I feel lost without him and I feel guilty, like it's my fault, even though I know it's not.
Will I ever feel better?

Tina Kay
SJ J & S
Of course youll feel better, but for now the hurt will feel like its tearing you apart and the tears will never seem to cease. This is ok its all part of the mourning process and something we have all gone through or going through.

I guess its especially hard the first time, the pain is so unexpected, we know well be upset but just how much comes as something of a surprise.

Give Jessie and Mr. Boots (I love that name) lots and lots of love and cuddles their missing Calvin too.

I love the picture of Calvin did he have pink eyes?
ComeBackScott
Thank you for sharing your baby with us, he is such a priceless angel, I can see by that picture how much you love him. There will always be guilt, there will always be tears, there will always be what ifs, it's all part of grieving. It takes time, but someday it will be easier. I still cry everytime I see pics of my beautiful Scott, MY baby. It's only been 11 months. I remember thinking after he was gone that he was hurting somewhere and there was no way I could save him. It near drove me mad. I felt so helpless, because my baby was gone, he's always been there, I thought he'd always be there.
I stayed with him while he was put to sleep and had visions of it, to this day, reliving it over and over. I got so anxious at times that I thought being with him was a mistake for my own sake. But I wouldn't have had it any other way because my baby died with the one who loved him most, he did not die alone, and for that I am thankful. Our babies are now free from hurt and disease. Keep that comfort.


I LOVE YOU SCOTT
TinaKay
Thank you both for what you said. I know it will get easier with time.
I feel a little better today as I took some sleeping pills so I could sleep last night.
I had a good cry first as I kept seeing him die in my arms.
I woke up this morning expecting him to come running for some love and his food.
I cry everytime I look at his favorite window.
I finally picked up his water and food bowls and I put his collar in my jewelry box, I can't part with it.
I moved Mr. Boots things into Calvin's room, which was really hard to do. He's having fun playing with his toys and he lays in that same window, which makes me sad every time I see him.
I'm loving on both him and Jessie double now.
I just feel like there was something more I could have done for Calvin.
I know he's with God and he's not suffering any longer, which I'm so gratefu for.
But it still hurts that he's no longer here with me. He'll always be in my heart though.

Calvin had gold eyes. I have more pictures of him here:
Calvin's Photos
If you'd like to see them.
I'll be making a memorial page as soon as I can.

Tina Kay
TinaKay
I've finished Calvin's Memorial page.
Calvin's Memorial
If anyone wants to see it.
Doing better today. Still think about him a lot.
I'm going to have a little funeral for him tomorrow.
I can't bury him as I live in the city limits and we can't bury them in our yard.
You don't know how hard that was for me as I really wanted to.
But I'm going to say a little prayer and light a candle and of course cry some more.

Thank you for listening. It has helped.


Tina Kay
Saki & Freyja's Mom
Oh, Tina Kay,
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your memorial and photos with us.
I really relate to your story, bc I also lost my dear kitty to liver problems. She was diagnosed and in less than a week she died. And she died sleeping with me...
It's been about 3 months now, and I still miss her so. It does get easier, but then I read a post like yours, or someone says something, or... and I am crying again.

Love to you and Calvin,

Jennifer
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2025 Invision Power Services, Inc.