Our 10 year old beagle, Maggie, died suddenly last Wednesday, Veteran's Day, our son's 5th birthday. I accept her death. She had a lot of medical issues throughout her life. None of them were serious, but I think they wore her down. What I can't make sense of is why she had to go while we were on vacation??? We didn't get to say goodbye. We didn't get to hold her one last time. We didn't get to comfort her.

She was with my parents and they knew something was wrong Wednesday morning. They called to wish my son a happy birthday, then told me about Maggie. They offered to take her to our vet (they live over an hour away). Maggie was in shock when she arrived at the vet. X-rays showed spots on her lungs and a mass in her abdomen. Her kidneys had shut down. We weren't coming home until Friday afternoon. She wouldn't make it that long and we didn't want her to suffer any longer. We made the difficult decision to end her suffering. BUT why couldn't we be there to comfort her? Did she think that we abandonded her? She helped me get through 5 miscarriages and the death of my grandmother. She deserved to have me holding her when she died, telling her it would be ok.

Why?

Kim, I wish I had an answer for you that would give you some comfort, any comfort at all. I'm so sorry about Maggie. It sounds like she wasn't unfamiliar with your parents so at least she had someone with her that she knew. Maybe somehow she was saving you from having to watch her decline and be there to make the decision. No matter how they go it is so so very hard on us. Don't be hard on yourself about it. Again, I am so sorry.
-Donna

Oh, I'm so sorry. It hurts terribly I know. I lost two dogs within a year.

Maggie knew you loved her and like Tanbuck said she had someone she loved with her. I think Maggie would understand. It's hard no matter how they go. We lost Lily last year suddenly and unexpectedly, so we never had the chance to say goodbye also. It is really hard. Trust me, even when you do have the chance to say goodbye it still hurts. Hunny had cancer so we had to make that dreadful decision to let her go.

I have three beagles so can I relate. They are just so cute.

I know it's hard, but there really is no point in being so hard on yourself. I did that with Lily and all it does it create so much anger at the world (in my case). All you can do now is allow yourself to grieve for her and take it one day at a time.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss. This is a great website. There are very many wonderful people here who know exactly how you feel.

Take care.

Lynette.

Oh Kim, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Maggie. I understand that you feel dreadful that you weren't with her. I felt the same when my darling samoyed, Noushka, left us while she was in the vets having tests for loss of appetite and breathing problems. We had to leave her overnight and the vet called in the morning to say she hadn't made it.
I felt so guilty that I had left her there. I just couldn't believe that she had gone so quickly. That was 12 weeks ago.
Like Donna said, maybe it's their way of saving us from the distress of seeing them go.
I wish I could say more to help you. Time will ease the heartache and allow you to remember the joy that Maggie brought to your lives. She wouldn't want you to be sad.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

With Love
Jan x

Kim, I feel so sad for you not being with your Maggie when she passed away and I know how you feel because it happened that way with me too when I lost my soul mate.. You just don't get to say goodbye and it tears you apart. I asked the same question, why? it's just not fair and if only I had done this or that, but he was gone in an instant and he was gone forever and I thought I was never going to stop crying. I don't know why things happen this way, but after the initial shock wore off, I knew that even though i wasn't there for him when he died, he knew I loved him and I knew he loved me. Maggie knew you loved her as she loved you and that love would have been with her even though you weren't. Love never dies Kim. Hugs.

madi xx

Dear Kim
I am so very sorry about your loss. I have lost a dear little pet recently, and having read so many posts - I cant bring myself to write about my baby Poppy. But something tells me to write to you.
Sometimes our loved ones find it difficult to pass on because we love them so much - they go when we are not around. They find if difficult to say goodbye. Your lovely dog perhaps thought it would be easier if she went when she was within the loving embrace of your parents. Pets know we will always love them no matter where we are. Only time will slowly ease your pain. My baby too went on my daughter's Birthday - events such as these happen together. Take comfort my friend to know that all our pets CHOOSE their families they want to come and stay with - blessed are we who have known such profound unconditional love. Love n hugs, and take care. Jyo

It is so difficult when your loved one dies on a specific day, like a birthday because you remember that date forever. My darling Ulriich died 6 months ago on my 9 yr old grand daughters birthday, I had just driven back from the airport after putting her on a plane to visit her mother in another state and a few hours later he was gone. Her father also died on her birthday a few years back and you think at the time, why? any other day is bad enough, but why does it have to be today? Hugs to everyone who has lost their loved ones.

madi xx

I am sorry for your loss of Maggie but feel pretty certain she knew she was well loved. Our furkids can sense things like that.

I think that animals are a lot like people in that they handle death in different ways. Some need to be comforted during their last hours to ease their passage and reinforce how much we care about them. Others, like Maggie, seem to draw within themselves at their time approaches. They already have enough love for the journey and are ready to move to the next level. Though it may be more comforting to us to be there it is not always necessary for them if they know they have your affection.

*hugs*
Ken Albin