I've never really belonged to a group or posted anything online before. Lately I feel as if I need to reach out and maybe connect with someone who may understand what I'm feeling or going through right now. Which has brought me to this website tonight.

I recently lost my beloved Mia to Kidney disease.

Mia was a beautiful long haired black cat whom I adopted from a woman who could no longer care for her.
I never had a cat before.
She came into my life at a time when I felt lost and lonely and she instantly changed my life.
She was my best friend, and later when I met my boyfriend, became his best friend too.

Mia was diagnosed with kidney disease a year ago and at the time I just couldn't believe it and I didn't know what to do.
Research helped but there were many complications and the doctors didn't give her a lot of time.

My boyfriend and I devoted everything we had into making her life wonderful while she was here. We planned our days around keeping her happy and comfortable, and we took each day as it came.

She was so strong and so very brave.

Through all of the medications and vet trips and blood pressure tests. Through the Anemia and the Eprex shots and Sub Q fluids.
It wasn't easy, but we kept her weight maintained and she looked good. It was hard to believe that she was ill.
She did well, for a long time - longer than the doctors had given her.

In September, she started losing weight and her behavior changed.
I could tell by looking at her little face - looking in her eyes, that she wasn't doing well.

She passed away on Sept 30th - we had to take her to emergency.
It was such a painful decision.
In my heart I had hoped that perhaps she would pass peaceful in her sleep, at her home.

I know it was best for my girl, but I miss her so much everyday.
We miss her so much.
And even though I know that we were so lucky to have her as long as we did - much longer than anyone thought, our house is different with her gone and sometimes I can't bear even coming home to its emptiness.

A day hasn't gone by that I haven't wished she were here, wanted to see her face when I came home or have her sitting with me while I read or watched TV.
I get by most days but I'm sad.

I miss My Girl

I'm so sorry about your Mia. You've come to the right place. I'd never been a member of anything like this until my Frasier got sick. He was a long-haired orange and white tabby. He also died (we had to have him put to sleep) of kidney failure due to complications from some other things. Tomorrow it will be 10 weeks for me. I still feel that dread of coming home that you do. I get through my days really well and am functioning just fine but when I get home at night, I usually lose it for a minute or two. I don't come home to an empty house because we still have Frasier's brother, Niles and our dog, Buck, but there is still a sense of quiet that wasn't there before. Like you, we nursed Frasier for so long and every day was an accomplishment. My husband says that he thinks the house seems more quiet because we don't have all the thoughts going on in our heads about all of Frasier's medications, when to give, did we give, how much to give, should we do fluids, did he go to the litterbox, is he straining, etc. etc. I think he's probably right but I never thought about it that way. The constant noise in our heads related to him being sick is gone and even though I wouldn't want him back if he was sick, I still miss those thoughts. I wasn't through taking care of him. I'm sure you feel the same about Mia.
Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss. Please keep posting. It has really helped my grieving process to know that other people out there really do get it. You're in my thoughts.
-Donna

Hi,
Sorry about Mia. It's such a loss. Pets seem to find a place very deep in our hearts. They make it so easy for us to love them. My Nataisa was a short hair black cat who was diagnosed with kidney disease about a year ago and surprised everyone by living until the 31st Oct. I still expect to see Nataisa in her usual spots. I am still careful when I get off the chair is case she is under my feet as she often was. Yes the house now seems empty. I know it doesn't help everyone but I have put her photo in four clear coasters and have them on the bench where I can see them. I printed a couple of 2010 calendars with her photo on them for next year, although I have placed them in my 2009 diary. I also have placed a candle for her on the window sill, although I haven't lit it yet. I am so thankful that Nataisa was a major part of my life - but it hurts deep and nothing is filling the space in my heart for Nataisa. When I cry for my Nataisa I will think of your Mia as well.
Hang in there
Liz

Yes the "not wanting to return home" thing is quite common apparently, the thought of going home after being away from home filled me with dread too after losing my soul mate.. I even wanted to sell my home and move somewhere else in the beginning, because I thought that would be the only solution to my grief. But six months on, I am still here and I now realise that the grief is inside of me and it follows me everywhere anyway. I feel sorry for your loss of Mia and everyone else who has lost their best mate and my heart goes out to all of you.

madi xx