Four months, Bitsy, and the pain is still with me. I seem to keep getting hit with it all over again. I was getting the cold weather clothes out of storage, and found your sweaters, you hated the cold so much! Was I wrong to bury you instead of cremation? I chose your last resting place because it was the sunniest place in the yard, where you would bask in the sun every warm day. your eyes almost closed, letting the heat of the sun soothe your arthritis aches and pains. But now, little girl, as the days grow colder, as the first winter comes since you have been gone, I cannot help but wonder if I did the right thing. I try to comfort myself by saying that you are in a place where you will never be cold again, where your days are filled with endless sunny days, where pain and discomfort do not exist! I feel the cold much more now, Bitsy. Is it because I am also getting older, because I also feel the cold in my aching bones as you did? Or is it because a bright, sunny spot in my soul is no longer with me? As winter comes on, and I look outside remembering warm sunny days, I can only look into the coldness of my soul, and remember the warmth of your loving spirit, can only long for the time when our two souls will once again feel the warmth of each other!
Daddy