Hi, we put our dear Callisto to sleep on Monday night, and today was the awful day to visit the pet crematorium and set up all of that. Reading all these stories has helped me and my partner SOO MUCH. So thanks to all of you. It is good to know how many others are deeply affected by their companions. Sometimes it is hard not to feel alone when some people can be so cruel about animals dying.

I don't think can bring myself to write up much more than this right now, but it's more of a question anyway. I had the vet trim some of her beautiful fur off to save, but since she was pretty short-haired, I'm not sure *what* to do with it. I asked for a handful so I could hold it sometimes or maybe catch a bit of her smell.

I thought of some sort of small secure container, but I'm just at a loss right now, and so I thought I would ask others if they had any advice.

I am so sorry. It is such a comfort to find other people that love their pets as deeply as we love ours, isn't it? I know this site was a great help to me as I typed and cried and typed and cried some more. We can't bring them back, but we can hold on to their memory.

As for her fur, maybe treat it like ashes?
http://www.memorial-urns.com/pet_urns.html...CFQ_xDAodUWEziQ
Some nice urn/memorial stuff here. I like the little wood box where you can put her pic and her fur inside.

I'm so sorry about your kitty. The first days are just unbearable, I know. I gathered a little of my cat, Frasier's fur and put it in a little satin box someone had given me for keepsakes. I was able to fit one of his catnip bags in there with it. I would say just put it somewhere safe for now and maybe later when your grief is not at the level it is now, you will think of the right place for it. My thoughts are with you as you go through this. I hope you will be able to post your story later when you feel up to it. I found it so therapeutic to share Frasier with the people on this forum.
-Donna

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had thought to save some of Eileen's fur. She had very short fur so I'm not sure how I would have gotten much of it, but it would be nice to have. I would just put it somewhere safe for now and in time I'm sure you'll think of the right thing to do with it.

Magdalene

Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts. I had thought about some kind of very small box to put them in. It's been more tears and heartache this weekend.

In brief, I adopted Callisto and her sister Athena from the Human Society about 15 years ago. I have had them with me ever since, and only separated due to business trips or vacation. They have been with me through my first rocky and abusive relationship, bad dates and worse decisions, and finally my wonderful partner. I know it may seem unusual for two men to love cats so much but we do. They are our life and keep us sane. We do have two more by the way, so there are three left: Athena, Oberon and Titania. The last two were strays that I just couldn't pass on to the pound, which is where they were headed.

But our house is just so empty feeling, and my partner had a painful agonizing time of it this afternoon.

I am being very careful about who I tell, but my entire office knows that I am so upset and down. I just tried to keep going last week. It has gotten better for me, but I miss her terribly, and I'm even feeling worse for my partner since he was so closely bonded to her. She sat next to his keyboard or in his lap, or by his side. He decided to have a plaque made with a pawprint, and the inscription will be PURRR - Callisto. She had one of the loudest purrs I've heard, and certainly louder than the other three.

I'm glad you two have each other to help you through this painful time. I was trying to not burden my hubby and he was trying to be strong for me and all it really accomplished was isolating each of us in our grief. Luckily I had an "epiphany" one day and asked him how he was doing. We shared our grief from then on. The people I work with knew how my life evolved around my Callie, and while I tried to be discrete about it, I didn't even try to keep from crying at work. I just wasn't strong enough to keep the pain in. I too didn't tell a lot of people at first, but as I told a person I found that with each person I told not only did they understand, but the retelling was theraputic.

As for two guys loving a cat so deeply? Why would you think anyone would think that is unusual? It seems to me that the notion of cats being a womans pet is a bunch of hooey! I've never been a cat person! When two souls bond, it doesn't matter what package they are in, the only thing that matters is the love.

Thank you chele. I grew up with both dogs and cats. But I decided I couldn't give a dog the attention that a dog deserves. I would never want to deprive and dog of the exercise and attention they need.

I find our relationship and the relations to our three remaining cats shifting around us. It's very new and uncomfortable, but perhaps hopeful in a way. We had a hit a rut in some ways; a safe place. We went up to the mountains and just sat and talked quietly for a while this weekend. That was good.


But it makes me feel horrible to think that it took losing my Callisto Cat like this. I miss her so much. Just a few moments ago I couldn't help think about leaving her at the vet's office after she was euthanized. It was horrible. She had high blood pressure, hyperthyroidism, and renal failure. She had stopped eating a few days before and wouldn't even drink anymore, her stomach was so upset. It was AWFUL when she vomited ... she could barely hold herself up.

But afterwards, she was just completely relaxed ... all the pain had gone. But she was gone too.

We both miss her so much.

Life is constantly changing, we just have to accept that. There is a gaping hole you are all walking around right now. It will all get sorted out.

Grieve all you want for Callisto Cat because you need to so you can release your pain. But, while you grieve, don't forget your relationships with the living.

I picked up Callisto's ashes from the crematorium on Tuesday. Is it normal to not want to do anything with the ashes? My partner can't even select an urn at this point ... we have her in a nice wood temporary coffer that the crematorium gave us at no charge. We have an impression of her paw and some hair that I mentioned above as well ... we can't even bear to take anything out of the carton.

I was doing better I thought, this week. But now I'm just emotionally wrung out and I want to cry again. I was sitting here at my desk, and suddenly I could hear in my mind a little cry of distress that she made those last few months if we didn't pick her up gently enough. Then it repeated over and over, and I've been just feeling so guilty about "waiting" for the euthanasia. It's only now I realize in how much pain she was those last few weeks.

Even worse, I am remembering how much she enjoyed the moments before we took her into the vet's office. We let her walk around a bit on the grass and feel the sun and wind ... she was an indoor only cat, and when she was outside she was never on the ground at all, just held.

She seemed so happy, she took a few faltering steps and then sat down in the grass, and tried to meow at us but no sound came out.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I feel so guilty and unhappy right now, and so alone.

Channing, I believe everything you're feeling and thinking is completely normal. At least I hope it is because I feel exactly the same way as you've described. Just keep enduring this time. Although the sadness remains, the debilitating (sp?) sadness does let up a bit. Take your time with your decisions and actions regarding Callisto. I realized that with Frasier's things I was trying to "take care" of stuff on some timetable I had in my head. But then it occurred to me that this is MY pain and MY grief and since no one else in the world feels it for me, then I can do it in my own time. Does that make any sense? I hope so. My thoughts are with you this evening.
-Donna