I lost my Golden Retreiver, Bogey, on 9/1. I came home from work on Monday and she was sick all over the house. She couldn't stand up. That morning I took her for a walk and she was as happy as can be. We took her to the vet, and he couldn't figure out what was wrong. We then took her to the ER where they told us a mass had ruptured and there was nothing they could do. The following day we had to put her to sleep. The poor girl wouldn't even look at us...

Someone please help me, I am in so much pain. She was my baby girl for 11 years. I did everything with her, took her everywhere with me, and in the matter of 1 day she is gone...

I can't keep it together, I am a total wreck, crying at work, and I just don't care. I come home and there is no bark, no happy dog waiting to go out...

I am doing everything I can to greive, talking to everyone, crying, but it just hurts so much...
We have a baby boy that is due any day now. And I keep telling myself that Bogey was here to help us become parents and she knew that her job was done, but it is still not easing my pain...

I just want her back, it wasn't her time to go...

Awww - I'm so sorry for your loss.

We all know how you're feeling here. I lost my golden April 4th to cancer. Hunny was only 8. She was diagnosed last summer, just days after we lost Lily, our spaniel cross, also 8 at the time. She died suddenly and unexpectedly. We had to put Hunny down too. She lost two toes to cancer and was doing pretty well till Christmas when it started growing again. She was on pain killers for the last month of her life. It was an extremely difficult decision to make to end her suffering. Her mind was still good, but her body was failing her and there was no way I wanted to put her through the humilation and pain of end stage cancer. Hunny had way too much pride and dignity to suffer that way.

It's horrible to lose our beloved babies. But I know in my heart that we had to let Hunny go. I didn't want to let her go, but there was nothing more we could do for her here and I needed her to be with Lily again. She and Lily both had a good life.

It takes time to heal from this. Lily's been gone over a year now and it's still hard at times. Hunny only since April. Some days it feels like we lost them both such a long time ago, and then other times it feels like it was just yesterday. The pain comes and goes in waves. The first few months are the hardest - that's when we play the blame game, that's when we have so much guilt. And then when that passes, we just have that tremendous aching for them. That too will eventually pass (or rather ease a little). Eventually the pain eases and we can remember them with fond memories and even manage a smile or two.

It just takes time. And we all heal differently. I'm not so good at this help stuff, but there are so many wonderful people on this site that know just what to say. They have helped me so much. I found this a few days before we lost Hunny - they helped me through the decision of letting her go. I wish I had found it when I lost Lily though.

I feel your pain - all you can do is give yourself time to grieve. I've cried so many tears for my angels. I cried so many for Hunny before she actually died. We had eight extra months with her and for that I am forever grateful. I have no regrets except of course that she got this dreadful disease. My babies are together again. And I hope someday that I'll be able to hold them again.

Once again, I'm so sorry for the pain that you're feeling.

Take care.

Lynette.

I am so so sorry biggn. I know there are no words to take away the pain, I wish there were. Bogey stayed as long as she could for you because she loved you so much. I've cried a million tears for my Callie in the two weeks since I lost her. It's OK to cry; I figure for every tear I've shed there's been at least one happy memory to go with it. I'm sure you have millions of happy memories about Bogey and in time you'll be able to smile while remembering them all.

I didn't exactly hold it together at work, but my co-workers were so understanding. I found so much comfort from sharing my grief instead of hiding it. And to find out people knew just how much Callie meant to me really helped too. You'd be surprized at how many people really do understand.

The "firsts" were hardest for me. The first night without Callie, trying to sleep but crying instead. The first morning waking up without her. The first shower without her lying outside the door, waiting for me. The first time feeding the horses alone, and the absolute worst was coming home to an empty house for the first time in almost 14 years. Little by little I've worked through the firsts. I've spent hours looking at pictures and cyring and looking at pictures and smiling. And looking at pictures and doing a little of both.

The pain still comes and goes. I believe I had a bit of Divine AND Canine intervention in that I truly believe Callie and God led me to my new dog Sandy. It was WAY too soon and I cried and cried after I got her, but she has been a true blessing and a great distraction. Your little boy will be a true blessing too, and also a great distraction! And in time you'll be ready to welcome another dog into your life, one that Bogey will help you find to raise your little boy for her.

dear bogeys mom, i am so very sorry for the loss. we all know what you are going thru. to lose a pet, well, its so hard. i am still grieving over the loss of my fred. he's been gone for almost 6 months now yet i had him for 14 years. our furkids, they become our very best friends. we depend on them for happiness. im betting your bogey gave you your first smile in the morning and your last before going to bed. they are just love. bogey gave you 11 years of happiness and you gave her the same. but it was her time. i believe in a heavenly father that created these wonderful creatures and i also believe that when they go back, He is waiting anxiously to give them a big hug and welcome them back into his celestial home. He has missed them. Wonderful bogey is ok now. her tail is wagging again, any pain that she experienced is now gone. she is now in a beautiful place where the sun always shines, the beautiful trees provide shade and a bubbling brook runs right thru. bogey is with new friends. i hope that my fred and riley (cats) arent bothering her too much.
i know youre in a lot of pain. its so so difficult. its also so very recent so you must be very kind to yourself - especially now that you are about to become a mommy again. believe that time will heal and that horrible feeling of pain, angst and lonliness will begin to diminish. allow the grieving process to take place. dont try and stop it. and try and remember the happy times that you had with your sweet one. when you feel anguish and start to remember the final moments, "turn the channel" and remember a funny moment you had with her. and please know that bogey is your angel now. she will look after you and your new baby forever and ever. she will never forget you and i know you will never forget her. she will live in your heart forever.

big ((((((hug)))))) all the way from california from lucy (my new crazy puppy) and myself. you are in my thoughts and prayers. may your heart find peace.
patricia

Biggn, I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone on this forum knows just what you are feeling even though you feel like no one has ever felt it as deeply as you do right now. I lost my baby Frasier one week ago today. I had him for 14 years since he was a baby. I know the pain you feel right now is suffocating and it feels like you will never feel anything other than the way you do now. Even though it has only been a week for me, I can tell that I am beginning to heal. But you must know, that even with healing, there is pain. Today I am dealing with feeling guilty for feeling a little better. I hate the pain of grief (physically and emotionally) but I think somehow that I should stay in that dark place so I don't leave Frasier behind. You will probably have similar feelings when your new baby comes. I hope you don't.
There are no words on this earth to help you right now. Everyone on this forum knows that. Like the others have said, just let yourself feel this. Let the pain and grief wash over you and just let it out. Cry, scream, pound the floor, whatever you need to do until you can't anymore. Our babies become a part of who we are and losing them feels like they are being physically ripped from us over and over again. I was overcome at times with just how physically ill I felt when Frasier first died. For days the pain just kept coming. I didn't know I had so many tears in me.
Anyway, I know I'm rambling but I just want you to know that you are not alone in how you feel. There are alot of us out here who are grieving the same. I am so sorry for you especially at this time in your life with a new baby coming. Remember, it is very hard to do this but you must take care of yourself right now. I didn't have an appetite for days and would just nibble on this and that. Your Bogey wouldn't want you to be sick. Please take care.

Biggn you are in my prayers & thoughts.
We are all here for you & share your pain, I know the loss you are going thru.
You will make it, I did!!!
elaine
{{{HUGS}}}

dear biggn, i am so sorry for your loss , i know just how you feel, 6 1/2 wks. ago my golden ''honey'' left me in just two days, from being perfectly fine to having a tumor rupture in her stomach,we had to put her to rest on the second morning she was only 10. The pain and emptyness is awful, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. i would like to congratulate you on your son. the next weeks will be full of joy and sorrow at the same time. be sure to tell him what a wonderful sister he had. so sorry again, scott

I'm so sorry for your loss. Of course, you're a mess. You just lost your baby, and you weren't prepared for it at all. I wish I could tell you what would ease the pain, but I just don't know. I can tell you that it lessens a little in time, but that doesn't help much right now, does it? Come here often, talking can sometimes help too.

Magdalene