My darling little boy is leaving me and my heart is breaking. Sweep is 16 years old and 2 months. He is a dear little terrier/poodle mix and has been the sunshine of my life.

We don't have any human children and our fur boys have been our family. Sweep has had congestive heart failure for awhile and is being treated by meds but I can see him slipping now and I am dying inside. I feel so helpless. I want to hug him all the time and carry him but I don't want to spoil his time left on earth by tears and fears. I just want to help him. I do not want him to suffer. As I can tell his hearing is so poor now it breaks my heart. He is bumping into things too sometimes yet he still bounces and get all playful when we take him out in the yard. He still wants his morning and evening walk and if my husband tries to cut it short in case he is tired he pulls and shows my husband the RIGHT way to go. He knows exactly the way they have always gone and he wants it the same as usual. He sleeps alot. Plus he is losing weight. But he is still cheerful and he lights up when we go on car rides and I am making a point to take just him alone for some special outtings. His daddy works all day but I am home all the time so he's not alone. When he wakes up he wanders around looking for me and when he finds me he just bounces up to me most the time...sometimes he just slowly comes to me but he still comes...and it touches my heart every time. I DO want to be UNSELFISH but part of me wants to hold on to him at any cost. He coughs from trachea issues and that hurts me to hear him cough like that.

Today we are taking him to vet for a check up and just to see if he needs his heart med raised up. We have had him to a doggy cardiologist in the USA and not much more can be done....his little heart is just giving up. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I never would be. He was my first furboy. He gave me my second....you see I am blessed to have his little son, Sootee and then just last year, Sweep befriended a little maltese in the neighborhood and to make a long story short, that little maltese was living in hell and we were able to adopt him so I credit Sweep with bringing so much joy to my life....but it will be absolute hell to lose him. I want to do the best for him though...not to be selfish and do what is best for me.

I need to have some plans in place as when he passes I know I will not be able to think straight on what to do with his precious little body. If anyone could be so kind as to share with me what they did and all, I would be so thankful. If I could Get It Together for Sweeps sake, it would be great. I want to know what to expect at the end and to try to be ready so I don't bawl my head off as he leaves and make him feel scared. I just want him to have the best care the best everything. I love him for much and I owe him for be has been the best little lad you could ever want. Oh the times I was sick and he would comfort me.

I'd love to hear from others who are going thru this themselves and hope we can support each other. So many people in the world just don't "get it" and I find myself not wanting to talk to "non doggy people" as I often do not appreciate their simplistic comments though they mean well. Sweep is family to me, not an object to replace.

Would anyone be willing to offer me some suggestions of how to best handle matters?

I am thankful to have found this web site.

Thank you.Sweeps Mummy My log in name here is MyThreeSuns as they are the sunshine in my life.

mythreesuns i am very sorry to hear of your situation, there is no preparing for the pain and loss you will feel, just know that you gave sweep the best home he could have asked for. his brothers will need you to be there for them . its been almost 6 wks. since my honey left me suddenly to cancer,and i miss her so much. be with him till the end if you can, its awful but i would have not had it any other way. you have to make the tough decision for your dear pup, he is relying on you to do what he cannot say. i pray for your strengh and comfort , sincerely scott

this board has been a big help for my loss. please come here and talk or cry or whatever, we all understand.

Hello Scott, Honey's Loving Dad
I saw Honey's photo and what a beauty. Clearly you are a loving soul who gave her the very best and she will be waiting for you at The Rainbow Bridge when you time comes. The love of a precious sweet dear friend is just so sweet....worth the pain it's just that the pain od loss is so bad, feels unbearable.

Thank you for your kind words Scott. I'm honored to meet you. People who love animals are always the ones I love the best. [size="4"][/size]

I just lost my Callie on Aug 18th, she was a month short of 14. She had been very healthy, then started slipping last year. First it was abscessed teeth, losing her hearing, losing weight, her sight may have been going too, then she tore her ACL and to ad insult to injury she pulled a toenail off on the camper steps while we were on vacation. I just knew in my heart something was wrong so when we got back from vacation I took her to the vet for a checkup. The vet called me at work to tell me the dreadful news; Callie had a tumor the size of a cantaloupe on her spleen. I was devastated and stunned. Thankfully I had the composure to think halfway straight.

I'll tell you about my experience and you can see if any part of it works for you.
After her vet called I took the afternoon off to spend at home with Callie to say goodbye. I'm so thankful I did. I took a bunch of pictures and loved on her all she would let me. I didn't want to go with her, but I had to, I owed it to her. So, at 5 pm my husband, his dog Skeeter, and I, took Callie back to the vet. She never even struggled when her vet started the injection, so I knew she was ready. She was so uncomfortable by the tumor, although she hid her pain well. She died quickly and quietly, next to my heart with my arms wrapped around her and her head tucked under my chin. We brought her home and buried her in our back yard.

One thing I always wanted (and never got) was a beautiful professionally done portrait of Callie and I. That is one regret. My other regret is that we never did make it to Meade Lake to camp. Callie was with me when I went to check it out, and I hadn't taken her leash. She so badly wanted to get out of the car and investigate the lake. I wish I had been able to let her do that before she died, but her cancer diagnosis caught me by surprize, and I wasn't willing to risk her tumor rupturing. So I guess if I had had time, I'd have done these things so I wouldn't have regrets now. Thankfully, they are minor regrets I can live with.

I am still crying at times, but the knowing she went peacefully and knowing she deserved to go before her life became torture has kept me somewhat sane. I love her more than life itself, and miss her more than anyone could know, but I loved her too much to take a chance that her tumor would rupture and let her bleed to death, or to let her die on the operating table without me with her.

The emotional side of me still grieves that I didn't even try surgery to save her life. My rational side acknowledges all the risks of the surgery. The knowledge that Hemangiosarcoma is a killer assures me that I did the right thing at the right time to ensure Callie did not have to suffer. I can't tell you what to do for Sweep, because whatever you do, it has to be right for you and Sweep. Best wishes to you and Sweep, it's a horrible decision to have to make. I grieve with you.

Dear MyThreeSuns,
I agree nothing can prepare you for the pain that will come.
It is such a tough time, when you know what you have to do to help them. One of life's hardest decisions, how to be unselfish in letting your fur child cross the "inevitable" rainbow bridge. I remember all to well that "pain" of having to let go. Let your heart ache, let yourself cry bucket loads, let your body ache all over....it's what you need to do to get thru this cataclismac event. Breathe out slow & long.....then breathe in slow & long.....then out again....I had to make a concious effort to do this....as I was tensing myself up to protect myself from the pain....it makes it worse.....BREATHE OUT.......come here & share with us, we care, I care.... Sweep will always love you....that's one of the wonderful things our companions teach us..."unconditional love". A tricky thing for us humans to comprehend...that's why we have our fur children...that is part of their job description as I call it......
You will be in my prayers & thoughts as you travel this incredibly painful journey......your love for Sweep will get you thru this.
Go gently
elaine

Parting with those we love so much is never easy no matter how quickly or how slowly they leave. Making the final decision to take on Sweep's pain to end his is such an unselfish and loving gift. Always remember all the warmth, love, and joy he has brought into your life. Though a body may perish, a loving spirit goes on to eternal life where there is no end. One day you and he will reunite..........never to be separated again.

I leave you with my prayers of comfort and love. May the sunshine of Sweep's love live within you and all around you now and always.

Much love with hugs from my heart to yours,
Beth

Nothing will prepare you for how you feel after you have to take them to the vet for the final time. I had AJ a year longer than we should have. I had to take her to the vet for her final time on th 17th of this month. She just went downhill and was close to having seizures and wouldn't get up. She was 14 years four months old. My head knew the end was coming, but my heart was in denial. I wish I had treated her more like a princess because my head knew the end was coming over her last couple of weeks because she was losing her appetite, and she loved food. I also was having to help her a lot more, and my own body was starting to fall apart because of the constant care of 60 pound plus dog. I did go into the vet with her because she was my very best friend and didn't want to not be there. The vet first gave her an injection just to relax her. She was quietly snoring when he came in to give her the last injection. Seeing her relax so much helped me because she has had arthritis, etc., so bad. She went very peacefully, no last breath, nothing. She just stopped breathing. We asked to get her ashes back, which we picked up this last Thursday.

Just give Sweep lots of love now. I am glad I had the opportunity to say goodbye. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to say goodbye.

I am very sorry for the pain you are going through. I know you'll never feel ready to let go.

My Eileen was hit by a car and killed a little over three years ago. It's been very hard for me. The pain has lessened over time, but it's still very hard. We chose to have her cremated and have her ashes in an urn over our fireplace. I have some little statues next to the urn that are meaningful to me. They told me that her ashes would be inside a plastic bag in the urn. At some point I want to make a little bag for them out of a piece of her favorite blanket. I don't really like the thought of her being in a plastic bag. But so far it's been too hard to make the bag. But I will one day. I wanted to have her cremated as opposed to burying her because this way I can always have her with me. I'm not sure I will always live where we live now, and I couldn't stand the thought of moving and leaving her grave behind.

I encourage you to take lots of pictures. I wish I had more pictures of Eileen. My sister made me a scrapbook with the pictures I do have, and it means a lot to me. But I wish I had more.

Magdalene

So sorry for everything that you have to face.

It's really hard. I had to make this choice for Hunny, our 8-year-old golden retriever this past April. She was diagnosed with cancer last summer, just a few days after we lost her sister Lily suddenly and unexpectedly. It doesn't matter how quickly they go, it hurts either way. I agonized for many months about having to put Hunny to sleep. When her tumour started growing again at Christmastime we knew that there was nothing more anyone could do. I'd cried so many tears by the time we made the decision to let her go be with her sister. And it was certainly the hardest one I've ever had to do. Her mind was still good and up till Christmas it had just been a bad foot. But when we took her back for a second opinion the beginning of March it had spread. That did make it a tiny bit easier, because now we knew it wasn't just a bad foot. I mean how can you take a life for a bad foot???!!! She had two toes amputated last summer to try to cure her cancer. Hunny fought a very courageous battle. Her mind was still really good at the end, but the cancer was spreading like wildfire. I couldn't bear to see her suffer. She was on pain medication for the last month. If she was in pain before that, I never knew. And that makes me feel like a bad mum because looking back I'm sure she was in some pain. She had arthritis too.

We chose to let her go April 4th. My husband had to make the arrangements because there was no way I could do it. I cried all day long. But in my heart I knew we had no choice. We had to let her go and as much as she didn't want to leave, we couldn't let her go through the inevitable pain and suffering that was sure to come. I've seen a dog die of cancer - it's awful. Hunny was much too proud to die that way. She hated having to wear the e-collar last year. There were times when she was trying to do something with that thing on that she would look at me as if to say "just shoot me now - I hate this, it's humiliating." It would break my heart because I was not ready to let her go.

But when I woke up on the morning of April 4th - somehow it was different. Sure, I still cried lots, but there was an acceptance I guess you could call it. I took her for a walk. I let her lead the way. We went east - we hadn't been that way probably since the fall of last year. She hadn't been able to walk too far since she got the tumour on her foot. We walked slowly for a quarter of a mile, and then she just stood at the end of the road in the ditch for a few minutes. She just looked around quietly. I'll never forget that image. She looked peaceful (I guess) but she looked just so weary. She knew it was time for her to go be with Lily. I still cry when I see that image in my head. And then we walked home. A while later I drove her to my parents so that she could walk around the farm for one last time and say goodbye to their dogs.

The ground was frozen here in April, so we had no choice but to have her cremated. I'm glad we did. And I wish we would have done the same for Lily. Lily is buried out back. And I had promised Lily that I would lay Hunny to rest next to her, but I haven't been able to yet. Hunny is on my wall unit in the living room next to a photo of her. I don't know if I will ever bury Hunny outside, I think I want to keep her close. If we ever move, she can come with us. But I feel like I'm being disrespectful to Lily by not laying her next to her. I wish we'd had Lily cremated so much.

Anyway, I understand your pain. We all do. And there is not a day goes by that I don't miss them. And for a long while I would always wonder if we let Hunny go too soon. Of course, I had hoped she would slip away in her sleep, but she didn't. I hope that she understands that what we did we did out of love for her. I'm glad she's with Lily now. When I look into the distance I can see them both walking along the ditch side by side. I hope they're happy and healthy. And I hope someday I get to wrap my arms around them and tell them how much I've missed them so.

It's not an easy decision that's for sure. But for me - I knew in my heart that we had to let her go. Lumps were popping up in other places. My husband found one on the back of her neck so it was only a matter of time before it hit her brain. And we had pups in the house that we had to think of too.

You've had a good long life with your baby and you've got many good memories of him. Cherish every one. And yes, take lots of pictures. (I never printed any of the photos I took since she got sick though. Looking back at them now I can see the pain or the sadness in her eyes. Plus I don't think that's how she wanted us to remember her.) Both my little angels were only 8 when they had to leave. Lily's leaving was devastating. We had time with Hunny and for that I am so very grateful.

I'll be thinking of you. It'll be tough but you'll make it through. I did. It just takes time. I have good days and I have bad days. I'm happiest when I'm home though - when I'm close to them.

Take care. This is a great place to come. I found this site a few days before we lost Hunny. I wish I'd found it last year when we lost Lily.

Lynette.

Hi Lynette-Please forgive me if anyone finds this offensive but I did want to share this with Lynette and could not see a way to private message her.
Lynette I know what you are saying about wishing you had not buried Lily. That happened to my neighbour-she buried her doggy in the back garden then was moving away unexpectedly. There was a service she hired to do an exumation and they took little Willy's remains to be creamated and delivered back Willys creamins in a lovely little oak box with his name on it. So she did not have to do anything or see anything unpleasant but she was able to take Willy with her as she could not bear to leave him esp. thinking her house might be torn down and rebuilt with a new home thus her whole yard might be chewed up and disturb Willy's resting place. I know it cost her quite a bit...it was nearly $400. but to her it was worth it and they did all the work all she had to do was show them the resting place-she went out for the hour they were working as it was upsetting to her. They did a great job, filled in where they had dug etc and made it all as peaceful and respectful as possible. For her it was a good option. I am just mentioning this in case you had not heard of such a service. I will try to find out the name or title of what such a firm is called if you are at all interested.

This is why I am so worried about what to do with little Sweep as I could not stand to leave him yet the idea of creamation also bothers me since I love his little body so much. He's so soft and sweet and his little smell...his sweet little smell....can I let them creamate him? Oh I am a nut.

Again I sincerely hope I have not offended.

Hello,
I am very sorry to hear about your situation.My advice is to take many pictures, one thing that helps me these days is my scrapbook and his urn.I wish I had more pics. He did visit me a few times but we just moved and lately due to the move,I have not had a visit so far but that is fine, i know he will visit.
I wish I can say that Ceaser died peacefully but he didn't and I still feel awful thinking about it and it is still painful for me.
I am also still in mourning and you can never be prepared or ready to let them go. It will hurt no matter what. Whether it was a quiet death or planned or unexpected...it will hurt. The feeling is something you can never imagine until it happens. A very uncontrollable awful pain in which you wish you could reverse the even but you can't.
You will develop a new spiritual relationship with your dog and you will know what I am talking about when the time comes.
It is just normal to feel depressed and hurt so take your time and write as much as you want to.

Rita

Thanks for the advice. No, I'm not offended. I don't know that I could ever do that though, but you never know. I certainly understand how someone could.

I have one baby buried in England and that's thousands of miles away. Mitzy was my first little angel. I had her when I was two. She was about the same age. She died quickly of a heart attack when we were both 13. So she's buried in England. Then we moved to Canada 3 1/2 years later. It was tough. I swore I would never get another dog - ever. But I've had nine of my own since then. Plus the dogs that my parents have had since we moved here.

We now have four little furbabies. Izzy, 5, a beagle - a puppy mill rescue. George - one +???, full blood border collie, Barney, one, a beagle and Casey, also one (well next week) a beagle x cavalier. Izzy was surrended on the day that Lily died - so sometimes I like to think that Lily (also a rescue back in 2001) gave up her place here so that Izzy could have a chance. Hunny met the three beagles. She never met George - he showed up three weeks after she passed. We like to think that she sent him to watch over the beagles.

They have all helped me with losing Hunny and Lily. I don't think I could ever NOT have a dog in my life. I know it hurts so much when they have to go, but look at all the good times!! I have to admit though I had forgotten what it was like to have a puppy in the house. Now we have two!! Man, they're a lot of work, but they are so worth it.

I had to let Hunny go. I couldn't bear the thought of her going through the awful pain and suffering. And this part is selfish I know, but it was time for me to let her go. I didn't want her to go of course, but I was so stressed out. Don't get me wrong, I would have taken care of her forever, but there was nothing more we could do for her. And I was tired and crying all the time. I worried constantly about her, about our other dogs. I would wake up every morning wondering if she was still with us or not. The stress of taking care of a sick one is unbelievable as I'm sure you know. I know she's in a better place now. I'm happy that she is with Lily. Having them both together again is a tremendous relief for me. I miss them both so much every day.

An uncle on my husband's side just passed away yesterday from liver cancer. The third family member this year to die from cancer. And each time it drags up all the pain and memories of what we went through with Hunny. I hope some day that I can get past all this bad stuff. It has been nothing but pain and sadness for the past 14 months for us. Two dogs, and three relatives have lost their lives in that time. I sure hope that's it for a while.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling on and on.

I think our little angels realize that what we do we do out of love for them. How many humans wish they had the option of "being put to sleep'? I know of a few who would have wanted to miss all the pain and suffering. I know it's hard on us, but we do what we have to right? Cos we love them so much.

Sorry for the rambling.

Lynette.