I see this question often on here - people are wondering why the universe is so cruel... why God is punishing them... What they did to deserve such pain... "Why me"?

This is a true story. About ten years ago I was diagnosed with a manageable, yet terminal, illness. Thanks mostly to the wonders of modern medicine, my life span has been extended to an indefinite period of time. I live a normal life in every respect - expect for twice daily doses of chemical therapy - and my quality of life is wonderful.

When my illness was diagnosed, I had the unfortunate task of advising my new boyfriend of this fact. We had been ****** a month, and it was pretty obvious to both of us that this was going to be a long term partnership.

We came to terms with my illness together, and four months later were living together.

One night, as we were lying in bed reading (me a Stephen King novel and him some sort of classic) I noticed that he was very quietly crying.

When I asked him what was wrong he said this. "I have spent years trying to find someone to spend my life with. I used to think I would grow old with the person I loved and someday we'd be sitting on a porch somewhere, watching the sun set, both of us old and gray and waiting to pass into another life together. I just don't think this is fair and can't believe God would be so cruel."

He used, you see, to be a franciscan monk and had a great deal of spirituality left - despite having left the church years earlier. The hurt of having to give up his devotion in order to live what he felt was a "fuller" life had never really healed.

Well - I thought about it for a second. And I realized that he actually was wondering why God was punishing him for sending him the "love of his life" - with a defect. So I looked him directly in the eyes and told him how I felt.

"Maybe it is my destiny to die - and no matter who I am with, or where I happen to be, perhaps this is what is destined to happen to me. Perhaps God saw this - and decided that this wasn't fair. Maybe instead of punishment, our relationship is the act of a loving God who is determined to make sure that my few years on Earth are the happiest they can be. Maybe this isn't a punishment at all - maybe this is a kindness."

A life of misery on the streets, living day to day in freezing rain and snow, heatwave and fear - if that was your life, what would you trade for a hug or a moment of kindness? If it was your destiny to pass on at a certain moment in time - would you want your last days or years to be filled with the coldness and harshness of our world - or filled with hugs and cuddles and a feeling of family?

Please remember this when you lose someone - a pet, a child, a spouse, a friend... Perhaps this isn't a punishment at all.

Perhaps you have both been blessed.

Hugs,

What a beautiful post, and a great reminder. Thank you!

dee dee

Awww, DJ - Edgar, Jesse, Tom's Mom,

thank you so much for that, that made me cry.

I have been feeling just what you said, that I am being punished somehow by God, it seems like a lightning bolt come down out of heaven and made Jake have that seizure which ended his life.. it was that sudden and dramatic, like God just decided on a whim to take him from me, the thing I loved the most. I have been rolling that thought around in the back of my mind, thinking of all the sinful things I've ever done and thinking, is it really true?!! and thinking it is really unfair because our other dog is almost 16 and still ticking along pretty strong - Jake should not have died so young, other breeders say their male setters live to 14 or 16 also, so I was feeling awful, exactly like I was being punished..... yet I have never believed in a punishing God.

I am glad to hear you are surviving well on your 2 doses of chemicals a day -- I hope you have a few more of these 10 year reprieves.

Thank you for your message.

ps. This site has become my favorite pitstop on the web, sending a big hug to everyone who writes here.

Thank you for the wondful reminder!!

Vicki (Stymy's Mom)

Yes, blessed we have all been -- this is for sure, I believe. Thank you for sharing that with us. I remember you told me a little bit about your illness when I first came on the site a long time ago. I too am glad to hear you are doing well and I am glad you two found each other. Some people never do find the human"love" of their life or any love at all. It's like I said in my post earlier tonight, I KNOW I have been blessed, but sometimes that just doesn't stop the tears. But that is okay, I know that too. I heard a message on the radio today that basically said, "It doesn't matter that you got down on the ground -- it only matters if you stay there and don't get up."
Marcia

Thank you so much for that beautiful reminder!!! I'm glad to hear that you're with the love of your life and doing well with your disease, too

Dear dj, edgar, jesse, and tom's mom,
My hats off to you, you truly are an inspiration to us all, and Lord knows we all needed to hear you tonight, just to remind us that there are so many people out there suffering horrible illnesses, as you, it is great to hear that you are doing good with your chemo and you are feeling good, i only wish i could be as strong as you are, in time i know i will be, Godspeed to you.
Sherry (littlebitsmom)

What you wrote touched me a great deal. You have given me hope and inspiration. Thank you.

And another thread . . .

Dear DJ - Edgar, Jesse, Tom's Mom,

I'm sort of new here and was not aware that you were facing your own physical problems. How wonderful for you that your meds are working and that you have met your soulmate!!! You have a terrific outlook on life.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Sincerely,

Lynn

Your life is an inspiration to us all. I hope you're still posting inspirational insight for us ten years down the road. We'll add another ten when the first ten expire. Thank you.

Well DJ i missed this first time round while sunning myself in Cyprus.

I know why God spared you, you have no idea how you helped me after having Jude put to sleep and i have over and over again seen your spiritual way with words make magic on one person after another.

I know that we would all 'get there in the end' but you smouth off the rough edges and give us food for thought.

Even those of us that doubted Rainbow Bridge, you bought it alive so we had to believe.

I know why God spared you

Love you
Sue

I am so glad that you are with us and hope that you will be able to live a long life. It is so hard to live with our illnesses and our losses but that is even more reason to embrace life and love to the fullest. I too have at times wondered what I have done so wrong that I would have horrible things happen but I guess it is only part of life, terrible things can befall any of us. God bless you.
Love, Ann