Oh my. Help. I can barely type this through my tears.
**Warning: This post has the terrible details of my Britney's death, so if you're already sad about your own loss, you may not want to read it. It might, however, make you feel better because I believe my husband and I are responsible for her death, whereas the majority of people here probably aren't responsible for their pets' deaths.**
Our sweet and obliging 8-yr-old greyhound, Britney Boopers, died yesterday after a 1 hour walk. We're pretty sure she had heat stroke because we measured her body temp at over 106 after she died. We spoke to our vet on the phone, and he thought it was either heat stroke or a heart attack, or both because of how sudden it was.
We went for a walk we had done many times before around a pond in our area. She seemed fine....nothing at all out of the ordinary....just heavy panting which she has always done on longer walks, even in cool weather. But there were no other signs of heat stroke like dizziness, lying down, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. It was 85 degrees with a warmish and sometimes cool breeze, so we weren't concerned about the heat especially since we had gone out and done the same walk in the past in hotter weather and at the same slow pace. It wasn't humid. We took several breaks in the shade and a long water break where we poured water on her back and stomach to make sure she was cool. She seemed totally fine, even running ahead of us to the end of her leash.
So, what happened? About 50 meters from the end of our walk, her right hind leg looked wobbly. We stopped and checked for thorns. Nothing. After I put her paw down, she just collapsed on the grass and wouldn't get up. When she finally did stand after much coaxing, she was wobbly. My husband picked her up and we ran to the truck, cranked up the A/C and doused her with water. We didn't know what was happening, thinking she had a heart attack or stroke.
My husband drove as fast as he could to get us home. Of course, we didn't have our cell phones. STUPID! Not that that would have helped because it would have taken the vet another 30 minutes to come in anyway, and she would have been long gone. But still, it was a stupid move on our part to not have our cell phones. So, I sat with her in the back of the truck trying to comfort her and pouring water on her body. But, she just lay there. Her breathing got slower and more labored and her tongue turned purple. We stopped at the fire station across from our house, thinking they could help, but the doors were all locked and noone heard us banging and screaming.
My husband (a physician) put her on the grass by the fire station entry and performed mouth-to-mouth on her, but it was too late. He felt her heart go into tachycardia and then she died. He kept doing mouth-to-mouth and chest compressions to no avail. Finally, a fireman did come out and he went back in to get an air pumper thing. A few minutes of that did nothing, though. Britney was dead.
I pray for God to forgive us for killing her. I hope she forgives her stupid humans for killing her. Oh help!
I feel so guilty and stupid. At the same time, I know we couldn't have saved her because her symptoms came on just before she died. She looked and acted so normal!!!! What could we have done???? We should never have gone on that walk!!!!!!! Maybe we could have saved her if we had dunked her in the pond. But that didn't occur to us then b/c we thought she had a stroke.
I keep calling out her name. I found a few paw prints in the carpet and places where she scratched and am trying to preserve them. I can't stop smelling her blanket. I keep apologizing to her dead body for our ignorance. I wish we could rewind the day and that we had never taken that one last walk.
I'm a mess. I keep playing this game of blame, no blame, turn back the clock, get on with it she's gone, she's in heaven, where is she, why is it so quiet, why did we go on that walk, what an ignorant and stupid dog owner you were, how could you have known. I need your help! How do I deal with this?
you take it minute by minute. take a slow deep breathe. you will get thru this.
you are going thru the normal grieving process that we all do; the whatifs, the guilt, the sadness, the pain all rolled up into one. im so very sorry for the loss of your wonderful britney. be kind to yourselves. this was not your fault. these tragic events unfortunately, happen. your husbands a physician, he can tell you the same thing. i think it hits us harder because our wonderful furry companions cannot tell us when they dont feel well. you dont need forgiveness from our heavenly father. you both gave britney a wonderful life. you know, its so much easier to blame ourselves than to realize that maybe it was britneys time to go. please be good to yourself. i like to believe that britney is now sitting next to her maker and she is looking down at both of you while our god has her arm around her, welcoming her back home.
she is your new angel and doesnt want you to beat yourself up for something that was out of your control. hold on to her blanket. i know i held on to my little freds toys after he left. i still have them as i built a little memorial for him. maybe you can do the same. although it doesnt take the pain away it does help a little. the thing that helped me the most was coming here and writing. the grief was unbearable and all i could do was write about it and some amazing people lifted me up. its still very hard! i have good days and i have horrible days but i could only get to where i am now with the help of everyone here. you are not alone.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia
you are going thru the normal grieving process that we all do; the whatifs, the guilt, the sadness, the pain all rolled up into one. im so very sorry for the loss of your wonderful britney. be kind to yourselves. this was not your fault. these tragic events unfortunately, happen. your husbands a physician, he can tell you the same thing. i think it hits us harder because our wonderful furry companions cannot tell us when they dont feel well. you dont need forgiveness from our heavenly father. you both gave britney a wonderful life. you know, its so much easier to blame ourselves than to realize that maybe it was britneys time to go. please be good to yourself. i like to believe that britney is now sitting next to her maker and she is looking down at both of you while our god has her arm around her, welcoming her back home.
she is your new angel and doesnt want you to beat yourself up for something that was out of your control. hold on to her blanket. i know i held on to my little freds toys after he left. i still have them as i built a little memorial for him. maybe you can do the same. although it doesnt take the pain away it does help a little. the thing that helped me the most was coming here and writing. the grief was unbearable and all i could do was write about it and some amazing people lifted me up. its still very hard! i have good days and i have horrible days but i could only get to where i am now with the help of everyone here. you are not alone.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia
STOP. For whatever happened, it happened. You will get nothing by going over and over what happened. Blame is a killer, a robber and a liar. You can't say for absolute certainty what actually happened, if you were responsible or not and you can't look ahead if you're looking back.
Pet reincarnation. I know for a fact that it is possible because it has happened to me. Numerous times. At first I had hoped it would be possible but it has been proven to me(and others) over and over again.
I know I posted this in reply to another but I hope it will be accepted to post it again here:
.
Dr. Goldstein has had a holistic veterinary practise in New York for over forty years and says that his pets have repeatedly reincarnated back to him. He talks about each instance in his book The Nature of Animal Healing, pages 297-298(starting at the fifth paragraph), 310-312(starting at the second paragraph down at the bottom of the page), and 314-317( starting at the new paragraph at the bottom of the page). He says not only has it happened for him but it has also happened for numerous clients. He wrote something to the effect that when one of his clients comes up to him with a certain look in their eye he just knows what they're going to say- that their pet reincarnated back to them. He actually was very well heeled in the medical system and was very skeptical that such things could happen until it happened repeatedly to him and his wife, then to his clients.
This also makes for some very easy and informative listening:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/BrentAtwater/...et-reincarnated
Brent Atwater is a credible medical intuitive for both people and animals. As well, she has
various other talents and gifts. If you go to this link and scroll down, she tells about
the reincarnation of her dog back to her. She also talks about it on two blogradio
shows found on that same link. Go to to the link, to the centre right is a blue box. Wait until
the box fills with rectangular strips that list her programs.
There are two programs:
Q & A's Pet Past Lives and Pet Reincarnation
Pet Past Lives and Pet Reincarnation (which is right below)
Click on the one you want. Click on Play. Wait for it to buffer and listen to the program.
Note: if the program won't load. Enter Brent Atwater in the Search box on the site, her links will
come up, find the above links and click on them.
If you listen to the above two programs you will hear that pet reincarnation has happened to other people. People who knew nothing about the possibility of it happening. It can happen within several hours, days, weeks, months, and yes, sometimes it may take several years. If you listen to the two programs you will learn how that happens. The Universe, God, whatever you want to call it, honours the wishes of both the caregiver and the pet, as to whether the pet will reincarnate or not.
You are draining your energies by blaming yourself. I don't know if your dog will reincarnate back to you or not. All I can say is start looking. Start looking for her return to you now. Keep the faith. Look ahead hopefully. You will know when it happens. It will hit you right down to the core of your soul.
(PS. You may also wish to contact a reputable pet psychic communicator. Nedda Whittels is excellent, so is Anita Curtis.Don't pick any off a help-line).
Pet reincarnation. I know for a fact that it is possible because it has happened to me. Numerous times. At first I had hoped it would be possible but it has been proven to me(and others) over and over again.
I know I posted this in reply to another but I hope it will be accepted to post it again here:
.
Dr. Goldstein has had a holistic veterinary practise in New York for over forty years and says that his pets have repeatedly reincarnated back to him. He talks about each instance in his book The Nature of Animal Healing, pages 297-298(starting at the fifth paragraph), 310-312(starting at the second paragraph down at the bottom of the page), and 314-317( starting at the new paragraph at the bottom of the page). He says not only has it happened for him but it has also happened for numerous clients. He wrote something to the effect that when one of his clients comes up to him with a certain look in their eye he just knows what they're going to say- that their pet reincarnated back to them. He actually was very well heeled in the medical system and was very skeptical that such things could happen until it happened repeatedly to him and his wife, then to his clients.
This also makes for some very easy and informative listening:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/BrentAtwater/...et-reincarnated
Brent Atwater is a credible medical intuitive for both people and animals. As well, she has
various other talents and gifts. If you go to this link and scroll down, she tells about
the reincarnation of her dog back to her. She also talks about it on two blogradio
shows found on that same link. Go to to the link, to the centre right is a blue box. Wait until
the box fills with rectangular strips that list her programs.
There are two programs:
Q & A's Pet Past Lives and Pet Reincarnation
Pet Past Lives and Pet Reincarnation (which is right below)
Click on the one you want. Click on Play. Wait for it to buffer and listen to the program.
Note: if the program won't load. Enter Brent Atwater in the Search box on the site, her links will
come up, find the above links and click on them.
If you listen to the above two programs you will hear that pet reincarnation has happened to other people. People who knew nothing about the possibility of it happening. It can happen within several hours, days, weeks, months, and yes, sometimes it may take several years. If you listen to the two programs you will learn how that happens. The Universe, God, whatever you want to call it, honours the wishes of both the caregiver and the pet, as to whether the pet will reincarnate or not.
You are draining your energies by blaming yourself. I don't know if your dog will reincarnate back to you or not. All I can say is start looking. Start looking for her return to you now. Keep the faith. Look ahead hopefully. You will know when it happens. It will hit you right down to the core of your soul.
(PS. You may also wish to contact a reputable pet psychic communicator. Nedda Whittels is excellent, so is Anita Curtis.Don't pick any off a help-line).
awwww.... i am SO sorry. when death happens that fast, it's hard for our minds to comprehend it. we go into shock at what just transpired. many dogs survive in hot weather, so maybe she had some underlying condition?
please..... don't beat yourself up over this. you did all you could to save her at the time. there's nothing more you could have done.
how do you deal with it? well, it's hard. very hard. just take one day at a time.. an hour at a time. tell yourself you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. you loved your dog and would never do anything to harm her.
this will be a very difficult time for you. maybe look at all her pics and see the good times in her life. my dog just died too at 8 yrs old, and that is most definitely NOT enough time to have with them.
god bless and it will get better. hang in there. you've been through a horrible experience. ((hug))
PS:
patricia is right.
everything she said makes alot of sense.
please..... don't beat yourself up over this. you did all you could to save her at the time. there's nothing more you could have done.
how do you deal with it? well, it's hard. very hard. just take one day at a time.. an hour at a time. tell yourself you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. you loved your dog and would never do anything to harm her.
this will be a very difficult time for you. maybe look at all her pics and see the good times in her life. my dog just died too at 8 yrs old, and that is most definitely NOT enough time to have with them.
god bless and it will get better. hang in there. you've been through a horrible experience. ((hug))
PS:
patricia is right.
everything she said makes alot of sense.
Patricia and Jjai, thanks so much for responding. I am trying to take your advice to heart. I keep beating myself up. The GUILT. You are right, though. I can wallow in guilt the rest of my life if I choose to. It's a choice I must make to crawl out of this.
We are burying her in a few hours. I am actually grateful that her body has been with us since she passed almost 24 hours ago. Man, I can't believe it's been 24 hours. Today, her body looks and feels simply like a cold body....at least more than it did yesterday.....and not like our little Boopers. It has helped me realize that her spirit lives on. Yesterday, I couldn't separate her body from her real being as easily. I imagine her looking down and wanting to give me a butt boop with her nose.
I am going to call her name some more. I know she won't come, but a part of me imagines her running in from her "den."
I hope burying her will help me deal with reality a little better.
We are burying her in a few hours. I am actually grateful that her body has been with us since she passed almost 24 hours ago. Man, I can't believe it's been 24 hours. Today, her body looks and feels simply like a cold body....at least more than it did yesterday.....and not like our little Boopers. It has helped me realize that her spirit lives on. Yesterday, I couldn't separate her body from her real being as easily. I imagine her looking down and wanting to give me a butt boop with her nose.
I am going to call her name some more. I know she won't come, but a part of me imagines her running in from her "den."
I hope burying her will help me deal with reality a little better.
Gailie, thank you for the hug. I feel it.
QUOTE (gailie @ Aug 3 2009, 03:01 PM) 
awwww.... i am SO sorry. when death happens that fast, it's hard for our minds to comprehend it. we go into shock at what just transpired. many dogs survive in hot weather, so maybe she had some underlying condition?
please..... don't beat yourself up over this. you did all you could to save her at the time. there's nothing more you could have done.
how do you deal with it? well, it's hard. very hard. just take one day at a time.. an hour at a time. tell yourself you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. you loved your dog and would never do anything to harm her.
this will be a very difficult time for you. maybe look at all her pics and see the good times in her life. my dog just died too at 8 yrs old, and that is most definitely NOT enough time to have with them.
god bless and it will get better. hang in there. you've been through a horrible experience. ((hug))
PS:
patricia is right.
everything she said makes alot of sense.
please..... don't beat yourself up over this. you did all you could to save her at the time. there's nothing more you could have done.
how do you deal with it? well, it's hard. very hard. just take one day at a time.. an hour at a time. tell yourself you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. you loved your dog and would never do anything to harm her.
this will be a very difficult time for you. maybe look at all her pics and see the good times in her life. my dog just died too at 8 yrs old, and that is most definitely NOT enough time to have with them.
god bless and it will get better. hang in there. you've been through a horrible experience. ((hug))
PS:
patricia is right.
everything she said makes alot of sense.
QUOTE (britneysmom @ Aug 3 2009, 04:03 PM)
I hope burying her will help me deal with reality a little better.
Start listening to the two blog radio programs, read the pages of Dr. Goldstein's book as mentioned, then
decide what you want your reality to be. At least then you will be a little more informed when you make your choice.
as you lay britney to rest know that we are all there for you in spirit. myself and my little best friend lucy ( (my new puppy) from california) send you big big bear hugs. visit the gravesite often and talk to britney. she will hear you.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia
Britany's mum.....breathe out........then breathe in......breathe out......
I wish I cld be there for you. It is awful when this suddenly happens.....I think it was wonderful your husband tried to resus. her, what a hero...lots of ppl wouldn't hve bothered.....I just posted some similar thoughts a moment ago....we are only human & for the most part cannot see in to the future....you did what you did....it can never not happen....you can hounour your beloved Brittany by knowing that she loved & still does love you for everthing you did & for everything your tried to do to save her.
Unconditional love is something only our fur companions can offer us in it's truest & purest form...your Brittany loves you. She wld'nt want to be causing you pain.....
it is just so early on in your loss....you hve progressed by being able to write here & share with us....a very positive sign that you are starting to work thru your grief....
The only piece of advice "toss out the guilt" it takes up to much energy, use what little emotional energy you have (& I'm sure it doesn't feel like much @ all) in being thankful for Britany's life with you.....
Go gently
elaine
I wish I cld be there for you. It is awful when this suddenly happens.....I think it was wonderful your husband tried to resus. her, what a hero...lots of ppl wouldn't hve bothered.....I just posted some similar thoughts a moment ago....we are only human & for the most part cannot see in to the future....you did what you did....it can never not happen....you can hounour your beloved Brittany by knowing that she loved & still does love you for everthing you did & for everything your tried to do to save her.
Unconditional love is something only our fur companions can offer us in it's truest & purest form...your Brittany loves you. She wld'nt want to be causing you pain.....
it is just so early on in your loss....you hve progressed by being able to write here & share with us....a very positive sign that you are starting to work thru your grief....
The only piece of advice "toss out the guilt" it takes up to much energy, use what little emotional energy you have (& I'm sure it doesn't feel like much @ all) in being thankful for Britany's life with you.....
Go gently
elaine
just thought i'd give you another ((hug)) because i know how heartbreaking it is to lose a dog we have loved so much. mine's been gone 2 weeks today, and there's a big void without her. i keep picturing her walking in the room and smiling, or sleeping in her bed.
pick an outlet for your grief, whether it be collecting pics, writing, or just sitting and crying. like i said, it's a very sad time for you right now.
we're here for you.
pick an outlet for your grief, whether it be collecting pics, writing, or just sitting and crying. like i said, it's a very sad time for you right now.
we're here for you.
I'm very sorry for your loss. Please know that you did not cause Britney's death. I think we all, at one time or another, have questioned how we could have prevented our babies from dying and have tortured ourselves with the what-ifs, beating ourselves up over what we could have done differently in the moments leading up to the end. I can completely understand the heart ache you feel right now, but please know that Britney does not blame you. She has nothing but love for you for giving her a wonderful life, and if you are open to receiving signs from her, I believe she will find a way to show you that.
(((HUGS))) to you.
(((HUGS))) to you.
PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS. I'M TYPING WITH ONE HAND SO IS EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...
DEAREST BRITNEYSMOM, I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS AND THAT I DIDN'T GET HERE SOONER. MY DEEPEST AND MOST SINCERE CONDOLENCES. I DID READ YOUR ENTIRE POST AND CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU'RE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR BRITNEY BOOPER'S DEATH. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT MYSELF SO YOU'LL KNOW THAT I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE ...
I'VE SERVED IN ANIMAL RESCUE AND REHABILITATION FOR ABOUT 30 YEARS AS WELL AS BEING A RETIRED NURSE AFTER ALMOST 27 YEARS OF SERVICE IN THE HUMAN MEDICAL FIELD. IN THE YEAR 1987, I MADE GREYHOUND RESCUE MY PRIORITY AND KEPT TWO GREYHOUNDS AS PETS: FIRST MAIDEN (FEMALE) THEN TRADER (MALE) AFTER MAIDEN PASSED AWAY. THERE ARE VETERINARIANS THAT SUB-SPECIALIZE IN GREYHOUNDS.
THEY CAN TAKE THE HEAT BUT WILL STOP WALKING OR RUNNING IN ORDER TO REST. WHAT I JUST STATED DOES NOT APPLY TO THOSE AT THE RACETRACK WHEN ... WE DON'T NEED TO GO THERE SO I'LL CONTINUE ABOUT BRITNEY. AS AN INTERJECTION, 85 DEGREES WITH A WARMISH TO COOL BREEZE IS VERY PLEASANT FOR A GREYHOUND THAT HAS NO CONTRAINDICATIONS DUE TO PAST OR PRESENT MEDICAL HISTORY. SHE WOULD HAVE PRESENTED WITH SYMPTOMS MUCH EARLIER AS IN DAYS, WEEKS OR MONTHS. YOU'D HAVE NOTICED THAT FOR SURE AND GOTTEN HER THE MEDICAL ATTENTION SHE REQUIRED. ALSO, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU WERE NOT PUSHING HER TO CLOCK A 41 MILE PER HOUR RACE TO THE FINISH LINE. ON THE CONTRARY, IT WAS A LEISURELY ROMP AND GREYHOUNDS DO LOVE TO RUN ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SEE ANY CRITTER THAT'S MOVING. IF THEY DO CATCH UP TO A RUNNING CAT, SQUIRREL OR BUNNY AND THAT CRITTER STOPS AND STAYS VERY STILL, YOUR GREYHOUND WILL LOSE INTEREST AND WALK AWAY. THAT'S THEIR NATURE AS SIGHT HOUNDS. NOW, IN YOUR WORDS YOU SAID ...
THERE WERE NO SIGNS OF DISTRESS AS YOU DESCRIBED AND SHE SEEMED FINE. YOU TOOK MANY BREAKS IN THE SHADE AND POURED WATER OVER HER. THERE WAS A POND VERY CLOSE AND BELIEVE ME, IF SHE FELT HOT, SHE WOULDN'T HESITATE TO JUMP IN. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS IS TRUE.
YOUR FUR KID WAS FEELING SO FRISKY THAT SHE WAS EVEN RUNNING AHEAD OF YOU TO THE END OF HER LEASH. YOU DIDN'T MENTION BUT I SUSPECT IT WAS AN EXTENDER RECOIL LEASH, HOWEVER THE KIND OF LEASH AND COLLAR DO NOT FACTOR INTO WHAT HAPPENED. SUDDENLY, HER RIGHT HIND LEG GOT WOBBLY THEN WITHIN A SURPRISINGLY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME, SHE COLLAPSED AND WAS UNABLE TO GET UP. I CAN TELL YOU A FEW THINGS THAT MAY HAVE CAUSED THAT EPISODE, HOWEVER NONE OF OUR "BEST GUESSES" CAN BE CONFIRMED UNLESS A NECROPSY (SAME AS AUTOPSY) WAS PERFORMED TO DETERMINE WHAT ACTUALLY CAUSED YOUR FUR BABY'S DEATH. SO TRAGIC AND I CAN BARELY SEE MY PC MONITOR AS MY TEARS ... I'M SO VERY SORRY! I'M TAKING A BREATH ...
THE REASON I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING THUS FAR IN THE MANNER I DID IS THAT YOU SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY NEED, NEED, NEED TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU AND/OR YOUR HUSBAND WERE IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE ... AND THE ANSWER IS NO. ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NO. HER AGE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PLAYED A PART BY EXACERBATING WHAT DID CAUSE YOUR PRECIOUS BRITNEY TO SUDDENLY PASS AWAY AND IN THE MANNER THAT SHE DID. THE NORMAL LIFE SPAN EXPECTANCY FOR A GREYHOUND IS AROUND NINE YEARS. SOME LIVE AS SONG AS TWELVE YEARS. THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE RACERS WHO USUALLY DO NOT MAKE IT PAST SEVEN YEARS.
AGAIN, I CAN ASSURE YOU WITH UTMOST CERTAINTY THAT NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR HUSBAND DID ANYTHING ADVERSE IN THE LEAST TAKING YOUR SUBJECTIVE DESCRIPTION OF THE FACTS INTO VERY THOUGHTFUL CONSIDERATION. OH, I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY THIS HAPPENED! MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.
PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU, YOUR HUBBY AND SWEET BRITTANY ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I WING MANY LOVING ANGELS TO SOOTHE AND GENTLY GUIDE YOU THROUGH THIS GOSH AWFUL DIFFICULT TIME.
THIS CANDLE AND ROSES ARE FOR BRITNEY. HER BEAUTIFUL SOUL'S FLAME WILL BURN BRIGHTLY FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
MANY COMFORTING HUGS AND I WISH YOU PEACE!!!
ALWAYS,
DOTTIE xoxoxox
EDITING: I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE MOST COMMON CAUSE OF DEATH IN GREYHOUNDS IS CANCER WHICH PRACTICALLY ALWAYS PRESENTS IN ONE OF THEIR FRONT HAUNCHES (HIPS). I FELT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING THAT. WHEN I RESCUED MAIDEN, SHE WAS SIX YEARS OLD ACCORDING TO THE TATTOO IN HER EAR. THE VET WAS AMAZED THAT SHE REACHED 13 YEARS OLD AND EVEN MORE AMAZED THAT SHE PRESENTED WITH (FATAL) CANCER IN HER LOWER JAW. SHE (THE VET) HAD NEVER, EVER SEEN A GREYHOUND WHO GOT CANCER IN THE JAW AND SHE TREATED MOSTLY GREYHOUNDS. LOTS AND LOTS OF THEM.
OH, BUT MAIDEN HAD BEEN A CHAMPION RACER, VERY MUSCULAR UNLIKE MOST GREYHOUNDS I KNOW. AND, SHE WAS LARGER IN HEIGHT, WIDTH AND LENGTH THAN MOST GREYHOUNDS. MY GUESS IS THAT THE TRACK TRAINER(S) ASSIGNED TO HER KNEW IT WAS IN THEIR BEST INTEREST TO KEEP HER FIT AND THAT'S MOST LIKELY WHAT SAVED HER LIFE. I WON'T SAY WHERE, HOW OR IN WHAT CONDITION THAT MAIDEN AND A BUNCH OF OTHER RACERS WERE DISCOVERED. IT IS COMFORTING TO KNOW THAT SHE WAS SO VERY LOVED AND PAMPERED FOR THE SECOND HALF OF HER LIFE. I STILL MISS HER SO MUCH. KISSES TO MAIDEN.
ON THE OTHER HAND, MY LATE HUSBAND AND I ADOPTED TRADER AT THE AGE OF AROUND TWO AND A HALF TO THREE YEARS OLD AND HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY ISSUES LIKE POOR SHELL SHOCKED MAIDEN. TRADER DID DIE AT AGE NINE FROM CANCER IN ONE OF HIS FRONT HAUNCHES. GOD REST THEIR SWEET SOULS AND KISSES TO THEM BOTH.
DEAREST BRITNEYSMOM, I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS AND THAT I DIDN'T GET HERE SOONER. MY DEEPEST AND MOST SINCERE CONDOLENCES. I DID READ YOUR ENTIRE POST AND CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU'RE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR BRITNEY BOOPER'S DEATH. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT MYSELF SO YOU'LL KNOW THAT I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE ...
I'VE SERVED IN ANIMAL RESCUE AND REHABILITATION FOR ABOUT 30 YEARS AS WELL AS BEING A RETIRED NURSE AFTER ALMOST 27 YEARS OF SERVICE IN THE HUMAN MEDICAL FIELD. IN THE YEAR 1987, I MADE GREYHOUND RESCUE MY PRIORITY AND KEPT TWO GREYHOUNDS AS PETS: FIRST MAIDEN (FEMALE) THEN TRADER (MALE) AFTER MAIDEN PASSED AWAY. THERE ARE VETERINARIANS THAT SUB-SPECIALIZE IN GREYHOUNDS.
THEY CAN TAKE THE HEAT BUT WILL STOP WALKING OR RUNNING IN ORDER TO REST. WHAT I JUST STATED DOES NOT APPLY TO THOSE AT THE RACETRACK WHEN ... WE DON'T NEED TO GO THERE SO I'LL CONTINUE ABOUT BRITNEY. AS AN INTERJECTION, 85 DEGREES WITH A WARMISH TO COOL BREEZE IS VERY PLEASANT FOR A GREYHOUND THAT HAS NO CONTRAINDICATIONS DUE TO PAST OR PRESENT MEDICAL HISTORY. SHE WOULD HAVE PRESENTED WITH SYMPTOMS MUCH EARLIER AS IN DAYS, WEEKS OR MONTHS. YOU'D HAVE NOTICED THAT FOR SURE AND GOTTEN HER THE MEDICAL ATTENTION SHE REQUIRED. ALSO, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU WERE NOT PUSHING HER TO CLOCK A 41 MILE PER HOUR RACE TO THE FINISH LINE. ON THE CONTRARY, IT WAS A LEISURELY ROMP AND GREYHOUNDS DO LOVE TO RUN ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SEE ANY CRITTER THAT'S MOVING. IF THEY DO CATCH UP TO A RUNNING CAT, SQUIRREL OR BUNNY AND THAT CRITTER STOPS AND STAYS VERY STILL, YOUR GREYHOUND WILL LOSE INTEREST AND WALK AWAY. THAT'S THEIR NATURE AS SIGHT HOUNDS. NOW, IN YOUR WORDS YOU SAID ...
QUOTE
We went for a walk we had done many times before around a pond in our area. She seemed fine....nothing at all out of the ordinary....just heavy panting which she has always done on longer walks, even in cool weather. But there were no other signs of heat stroke like dizziness, lying down, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. It was 85 degrees with a warmish and sometimes cool breeze, so we weren't concerned about the heat especially since we had gone out and done the same walk in the past in hotter weather and at the same slow pace. It wasn't humid. We took several breaks in the shade and a long water break where we poured water on her back and stomach to make sure she was cool. She seemed totally fine, even running ahead of us to the end of her leash.
So, what happened? About 50 meters from the end of our walk, her right hind leg looked wobbly. We stopped and checked for thorns. Nothing. After I put her paw down, she just collapsed on the grass and wouldn't get up. When she finally did stand after much coaxing, she was wobbly. My husband picked her up and we ran to the truck, cranked up the A/C and doused her with water. We didn't know what was happening, thinking she had a heart attack or stroke.
So, what happened? About 50 meters from the end of our walk, her right hind leg looked wobbly. We stopped and checked for thorns. Nothing. After I put her paw down, she just collapsed on the grass and wouldn't get up. When she finally did stand after much coaxing, she was wobbly. My husband picked her up and we ran to the truck, cranked up the A/C and doused her with water. We didn't know what was happening, thinking she had a heart attack or stroke.
THERE WERE NO SIGNS OF DISTRESS AS YOU DESCRIBED AND SHE SEEMED FINE. YOU TOOK MANY BREAKS IN THE SHADE AND POURED WATER OVER HER. THERE WAS A POND VERY CLOSE AND BELIEVE ME, IF SHE FELT HOT, SHE WOULDN'T HESITATE TO JUMP IN. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS IS TRUE.
YOUR FUR KID WAS FEELING SO FRISKY THAT SHE WAS EVEN RUNNING AHEAD OF YOU TO THE END OF HER LEASH. YOU DIDN'T MENTION BUT I SUSPECT IT WAS AN EXTENDER RECOIL LEASH, HOWEVER THE KIND OF LEASH AND COLLAR DO NOT FACTOR INTO WHAT HAPPENED. SUDDENLY, HER RIGHT HIND LEG GOT WOBBLY THEN WITHIN A SURPRISINGLY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME, SHE COLLAPSED AND WAS UNABLE TO GET UP. I CAN TELL YOU A FEW THINGS THAT MAY HAVE CAUSED THAT EPISODE, HOWEVER NONE OF OUR "BEST GUESSES" CAN BE CONFIRMED UNLESS A NECROPSY (SAME AS AUTOPSY) WAS PERFORMED TO DETERMINE WHAT ACTUALLY CAUSED YOUR FUR BABY'S DEATH. SO TRAGIC AND I CAN BARELY SEE MY PC MONITOR AS MY TEARS ... I'M SO VERY SORRY! I'M TAKING A BREATH ...
THE REASON I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING THUS FAR IN THE MANNER I DID IS THAT YOU SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY NEED, NEED, NEED TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU AND/OR YOUR HUSBAND WERE IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE ... AND THE ANSWER IS NO. ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NO. HER AGE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PLAYED A PART BY EXACERBATING WHAT DID CAUSE YOUR PRECIOUS BRITNEY TO SUDDENLY PASS AWAY AND IN THE MANNER THAT SHE DID. THE NORMAL LIFE SPAN EXPECTANCY FOR A GREYHOUND IS AROUND NINE YEARS. SOME LIVE AS SONG AS TWELVE YEARS. THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE RACERS WHO USUALLY DO NOT MAKE IT PAST SEVEN YEARS.
AGAIN, I CAN ASSURE YOU WITH UTMOST CERTAINTY THAT NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR HUSBAND DID ANYTHING ADVERSE IN THE LEAST TAKING YOUR SUBJECTIVE DESCRIPTION OF THE FACTS INTO VERY THOUGHTFUL CONSIDERATION. OH, I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY THIS HAPPENED! MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.
PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU, YOUR HUBBY AND SWEET BRITTANY ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I WING MANY LOVING ANGELS TO SOOTHE AND GENTLY GUIDE YOU THROUGH THIS GOSH AWFUL DIFFICULT TIME.
THIS CANDLE AND ROSES ARE FOR BRITNEY. HER BEAUTIFUL SOUL'S FLAME WILL BURN BRIGHTLY FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
MANY COMFORTING HUGS AND I WISH YOU PEACE!!!
ALWAYS,
DOTTIE xoxoxox
EDITING: I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION THAT THE MOST COMMON CAUSE OF DEATH IN GREYHOUNDS IS CANCER WHICH PRACTICALLY ALWAYS PRESENTS IN ONE OF THEIR FRONT HAUNCHES (HIPS). I FELT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING THAT. WHEN I RESCUED MAIDEN, SHE WAS SIX YEARS OLD ACCORDING TO THE TATTOO IN HER EAR. THE VET WAS AMAZED THAT SHE REACHED 13 YEARS OLD AND EVEN MORE AMAZED THAT SHE PRESENTED WITH (FATAL) CANCER IN HER LOWER JAW. SHE (THE VET) HAD NEVER, EVER SEEN A GREYHOUND WHO GOT CANCER IN THE JAW AND SHE TREATED MOSTLY GREYHOUNDS. LOTS AND LOTS OF THEM.
OH, BUT MAIDEN HAD BEEN A CHAMPION RACER, VERY MUSCULAR UNLIKE MOST GREYHOUNDS I KNOW. AND, SHE WAS LARGER IN HEIGHT, WIDTH AND LENGTH THAN MOST GREYHOUNDS. MY GUESS IS THAT THE TRACK TRAINER(S) ASSIGNED TO HER KNEW IT WAS IN THEIR BEST INTEREST TO KEEP HER FIT AND THAT'S MOST LIKELY WHAT SAVED HER LIFE. I WON'T SAY WHERE, HOW OR IN WHAT CONDITION THAT MAIDEN AND A BUNCH OF OTHER RACERS WERE DISCOVERED. IT IS COMFORTING TO KNOW THAT SHE WAS SO VERY LOVED AND PAMPERED FOR THE SECOND HALF OF HER LIFE. I STILL MISS HER SO MUCH. KISSES TO MAIDEN.
ON THE OTHER HAND, MY LATE HUSBAND AND I ADOPTED TRADER AT THE AGE OF AROUND TWO AND A HALF TO THREE YEARS OLD AND HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY ISSUES LIKE POOR SHELL SHOCKED MAIDEN. TRADER DID DIE AT AGE NINE FROM CANCER IN ONE OF HIS FRONT HAUNCHES. GOD REST THEIR SWEET SOULS AND KISSES TO THEM BOTH.
QUOTE (patricia @ Aug 3 2009, 04:16 PM)
as you lay britney to rest know that we are all there for you in spirit. myself and my little best friend lucy ( (my new puppy) from california) send you big big bear hugs. visit the gravesite often and talk to britney. she will hear you.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia
Patricia, those bear hugs are the best. You know I've never used a forum like this, but I can really FEEL your gentle but firm support and hugs. It means so much to me. Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I have a feeling it's doing something. In fact, I know it's doing something. I'm posting a more general response to everyone here later below explaining the huge weight that's been lifted off of me due to the support I've received here and elsewhere from wonderful people like you.
QUOTE (petmum @ Aug 3 2009, 05:10 PM)
Britany's mum.....breathe out........then breathe in......breathe out......
I wish I cld be there for you. It is awful when this suddenly happens.....I think it was wonderful your husband tried to resus. her, what a hero...lots of ppl wouldn't hve bothered.....I just posted some similar thoughts a moment ago....we are only human & for the most part cannot see in to the future....you did what you did....it can never not happen....you can hounour your beloved Brittany by knowing that she loved & still does love you for everthing you did & for everything your tried to do to save her.
Unconditional love is something only our fur companions can offer us in it's truest & purest form...your Brittany loves you. She wld'nt want to be causing you pain.....
it is just so early on in your loss....you hve progressed by being able to write here & share with us....a very positive sign that you are starting to work thru your grief....
The only piece of advice "toss out the guilt" it takes up to much energy, use what little emotional energy you have (& I'm sure it doesn't feel like much @ all) in being thankful for Britany's life with you.....
Go gently
elaine
I wish I cld be there for you. It is awful when this suddenly happens.....I think it was wonderful your husband tried to resus. her, what a hero...lots of ppl wouldn't hve bothered.....I just posted some similar thoughts a moment ago....we are only human & for the most part cannot see in to the future....you did what you did....it can never not happen....you can hounour your beloved Brittany by knowing that she loved & still does love you for everthing you did & for everything your tried to do to save her.
Unconditional love is something only our fur companions can offer us in it's truest & purest form...your Brittany loves you. She wld'nt want to be causing you pain.....
it is just so early on in your loss....you hve progressed by being able to write here & share with us....a very positive sign that you are starting to work thru your grief....
The only piece of advice "toss out the guilt" it takes up to much energy, use what little emotional energy you have (& I'm sure it doesn't feel like much @ all) in being thankful for Britany's life with you.....
Go gently
elaine
Go gently......Oh, Elaine, you are so wise. This is a lesson I've needed to learn all my life. Do I sound like I'm hard on myself? Guess what, I used to always be hard on myself for everything. Clearly, the lesson hasn't fully taken, but I've sure come a long way.
Thank you so much for your encouraging and kind words and helping me reset my thinking. You are right, Britney wouldn't want me to wail and weep forever and blame myself. She'd say, "Come on. Get over it. Let's go chase rabbits!"
QUOTE (gailie @ Aug 3 2009, 05:39 PM)
just thought i'd give you another ((hug)) because i know how heartbreaking it is to lose a dog we have loved so much. mine's been gone 2 weeks today, and there's a big void without her. i keep picturing her walking in the room and smiling, or sleeping in her bed.
pick an outlet for your grief, whether it be collecting pics, writing, or just sitting and crying. like i said, it's a very sad time for you right now.
we're here for you.
pick an outlet for your grief, whether it be collecting pics, writing, or just sitting and crying. like i said, it's a very sad time for you right now.
we're here for you.
Gailie, I am taking your advice and starting a Britney photo book. It does help to remind me of all the good times, and show me that, yes, her life was good with us and, yes, we were good doggie parents. Thank you! And.....I hug you back.
QUOTE (Jess @ Aug 3 2009, 06:31 PM)
I'm very sorry for your loss. Please know that you did not cause Britney's death. I think we all, at one time or another, have questioned how we could have prevented our babies from dying and have tortured ourselves with the what-ifs, beating ourselves up over what we could have done differently in the moments leading up to the end. I can completely understand the heart ache you feel right now, but please know that Britney does not blame you. She has nothing but love for you for giving her a wonderful life, and if you are open to receiving signs from her, I believe she will find a way to show you that.
(((HUGS))) to you.
(((HUGS))) to you.
Keep the hugs coming, Jess! I am surrounded by them! I feel them coming thru the computer!
Thanks to you and the other posters I am slowly but surely realizing that this was not in my control and that I (we) did the best we could under the circumstances. How arrogant of me to think I could control everything in my life (more on that in my post below).
QUOTE (AngelCareOne @ Aug 3 2009, 08:25 PM)
PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS. I'M TYPING WITH ONE HAND SO IS EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...
DEAREST BRITNEYSMOM, I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS AND THAT I DIDN'T GET HERE SOONER. MY DEEPEST AND MOST SINCERE CONDOLENCES. I DID READ YOUR ENTIRE POST AND CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU'RE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR BRITNEY BOOPER'S DEATH. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT MYSELF SO YOU'LL KNOW THAT I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE ...
I'VE SERVED IN ANIMAL RESCUE AND REHABILITATION FOR ABOUT 30 YEARS AS WELL AS BEING A RETIRED NURSE AFTER ALMOST 27 YEARS OF SERVICE IN THE HUMAN MEDICAL FIELD. IN THE YEAR 1987, I MADE GREYHOUND RESCUE MY PRIORITY AND KEPT TWO GREYHOUNDS AS PETS: FIRST MAIDEN (FEMALE) THEN TRADER (MALE) AFTER MAIDEN PASSED AWAY. THERE ARE VETERINARIANS THAT SUB-SPECIALIZE IN GREYHOUNDS.
THEY CAN TAKE THE HEAT BUT WILL STOP WALKING OR RUNNING IN ORDER TO REST. WHAT I JUST STATED DOES NOT APPLY TO THOSE AT THE RACETRACK WHEN ... WE DON'T NEED TO GO THERE SO I'LL CONTINUE ABOUT BRITNEY. AS AN INTERJECTION, 85 DEGREES WITH A WARMISH TO COOL BREEZE IS VERY PLEASANT FOR A GREYHOUND THAT HAS NO CONTRAINDICATIONS DUE TO PAST OR PRESENT MEDICAL HISTORY. SHE WOULD HAVE PRESENTED WITH SYMPTOMS MUCH EARLIER AS IN DAYS, WEEKS OR MONTHS. YOU'D HAVE NOTICED THAT FOR SURE AND GOTTEN HER THE MEDICAL ATTENTION SHE REQUIRED. ALSO, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU WERE NOT PUSHING HER TO CLOCK A 41 MILE PER HOUR RACE TO THE FINISH LINE. ON THE CONTRARY, IT WAS A LEISURELY ROMP AND GREYHOUNDS DO LOVE TO RUN ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SEE ANY CRITTER THAT'S MOVING. IF THEY DO CATCH UP TO A RUNNING CAT, SQUIRREL OR BUNNY AND THAT CRITTER STOPS AND STAYS VERY STILL, YOUR GREYHOUND WILL LOSE INTEREST AND WALK AWAY. THAT'S THEIR NATURE AS SIGHT HOUNDS. NOW, IN YOUR WORDS YOU SAID ...
THERE WERE NO SIGNS OF DISTRESS AS YOU DESCRIBED AND SHE SEEMED FINE. YOU TOOK MANY BREAKS IN THE SHADE AND POURED WATER OVER HER. THERE WAS A POND VERY CLOSE AND BELIEVE ME, IF SHE FELT HOT, SHE WOULDN'T HESITATE TO JUMP IN. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS IS TRUE.
YOUR FUR KID WAS FEELING SO FRISKY THAT SHE WAS EVEN RUNNING AHEAD OF YOU TO THE END OF HER LEASH. YOU DIDN'T MENTION BUT I SUSPECT IT WAS AN EXTENDER RECOIL LEASH, HOWEVER THE KIND OF LEASH AND COLLAR DO NOT FACTOR INTO WHAT HAPPENED. SUDDENLY, HER RIGHT HIND LEG GOT WOBBLY THEN WITHIN A SURPRISINGLY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME, SHE COLLAPSED AND WAS UNABLE TO GET UP. I CAN TELL YOU A FEW THINGS THAT MAY HAVE CAUSED THAT EPISODE, HOWEVER NONE OF OUR "BEST GUESSES" CAN BE CONFIRMED UNLESS A NECROPSY (SAME AS AUTOPSY) WAS PERFORMED TO DETERMINE WHAT ACTUALLY CAUSED YOUR FUR BABY'S DEATH. SO TRAGIC AND I CAN BARELY SEE MY PC MONITOR AS MY TEARS ... I'M SO VERY SORRY! I'M TAKING A BREATH ...
THE REASON I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING THUS FAR IN THE MANNER I DID IS THAT YOU SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY NEED, NEED, NEED TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU AND/OR YOUR HUSBAND WERE IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE ... AND THE ANSWER IS NO. ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NO. HER AGE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PLAYED A PART BY EXACERBATING WHAT DID CAUSE YOUR PRECIOUS BRITNEY TO SUDDENLY PASS AWAY AND IN THE MANNER THAT SHE DID. THE NORMAL LIFE SPAN EXPECTANCY FOR A GREYHOUND IS AROUND NINE YEARS. SOME LIVE AS SONG AS TWELVE YEARS. THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE RACERS WHO USUALLY DO NOT MAKE IT PAST SEVEN YEARS.
AGAIN, I CAN ASSURE YOU WITH UTMOST CERTAINTY THAT NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR HUSBAND DID ANYTHING ADVERSE IN THE LEAST TAKING YOUR SUBJECTIVE DESCRIPTION OF THE FACTS INTO VERY THOUGHTFUL CONSIDERATION. OH, I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY THIS HAPPENED! MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.
PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU, YOUR HUBBY AND SWEET BRITTANY ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I WING MANY LOVING ANGELS TO SOOTHE AND GENTLY GUIDE YOU THROUGH THIS GOSH AWFUL DIFFICULT TIME.
THIS CANDLE AND ROSES ARE FOR BRITNEY. HER BEAUTIFUL SOUL'S FLAME WILL BURN BRIGHTLY FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
I WISH YOU PEACE!!!
ALWAYS,
DOTTIE xoxoxox
DEAREST BRITNEYSMOM, I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS AND THAT I DIDN'T GET HERE SOONER. MY DEEPEST AND MOST SINCERE CONDOLENCES. I DID READ YOUR ENTIRE POST AND CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU'RE IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR BRITNEY BOOPER'S DEATH. PLEASE ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT MYSELF SO YOU'LL KNOW THAT I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE ...
I'VE SERVED IN ANIMAL RESCUE AND REHABILITATION FOR ABOUT 30 YEARS AS WELL AS BEING A RETIRED NURSE AFTER ALMOST 27 YEARS OF SERVICE IN THE HUMAN MEDICAL FIELD. IN THE YEAR 1987, I MADE GREYHOUND RESCUE MY PRIORITY AND KEPT TWO GREYHOUNDS AS PETS: FIRST MAIDEN (FEMALE) THEN TRADER (MALE) AFTER MAIDEN PASSED AWAY. THERE ARE VETERINARIANS THAT SUB-SPECIALIZE IN GREYHOUNDS.
THEY CAN TAKE THE HEAT BUT WILL STOP WALKING OR RUNNING IN ORDER TO REST. WHAT I JUST STATED DOES NOT APPLY TO THOSE AT THE RACETRACK WHEN ... WE DON'T NEED TO GO THERE SO I'LL CONTINUE ABOUT BRITNEY. AS AN INTERJECTION, 85 DEGREES WITH A WARMISH TO COOL BREEZE IS VERY PLEASANT FOR A GREYHOUND THAT HAS NO CONTRAINDICATIONS DUE TO PAST OR PRESENT MEDICAL HISTORY. SHE WOULD HAVE PRESENTED WITH SYMPTOMS MUCH EARLIER AS IN DAYS, WEEKS OR MONTHS. YOU'D HAVE NOTICED THAT FOR SURE AND GOTTEN HER THE MEDICAL ATTENTION SHE REQUIRED. ALSO, IT IS OBVIOUS THAT YOU WERE NOT PUSHING HER TO CLOCK A 41 MILE PER HOUR RACE TO THE FINISH LINE. ON THE CONTRARY, IT WAS A LEISURELY ROMP AND GREYHOUNDS DO LOVE TO RUN ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SEE ANY CRITTER THAT'S MOVING. IF THEY DO CATCH UP TO A RUNNING CAT, SQUIRREL OR BUNNY AND THAT CRITTER STOPS AND STAYS VERY STILL, YOUR GREYHOUND WILL LOSE INTEREST AND WALK AWAY. THAT'S THEIR NATURE AS SIGHT HOUNDS. NOW, IN YOUR WORDS YOU SAID ...
THERE WERE NO SIGNS OF DISTRESS AS YOU DESCRIBED AND SHE SEEMED FINE. YOU TOOK MANY BREAKS IN THE SHADE AND POURED WATER OVER HER. THERE WAS A POND VERY CLOSE AND BELIEVE ME, IF SHE FELT HOT, SHE WOULDN'T HESITATE TO JUMP IN. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS IS TRUE.
YOUR FUR KID WAS FEELING SO FRISKY THAT SHE WAS EVEN RUNNING AHEAD OF YOU TO THE END OF HER LEASH. YOU DIDN'T MENTION BUT I SUSPECT IT WAS AN EXTENDER RECOIL LEASH, HOWEVER THE KIND OF LEASH AND COLLAR DO NOT FACTOR INTO WHAT HAPPENED. SUDDENLY, HER RIGHT HIND LEG GOT WOBBLY THEN WITHIN A SURPRISINGLY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME, SHE COLLAPSED AND WAS UNABLE TO GET UP. I CAN TELL YOU A FEW THINGS THAT MAY HAVE CAUSED THAT EPISODE, HOWEVER NONE OF OUR "BEST GUESSES" CAN BE CONFIRMED UNLESS A NECROPSY (SAME AS AUTOPSY) WAS PERFORMED TO DETERMINE WHAT ACTUALLY CAUSED YOUR FUR BABY'S DEATH. SO TRAGIC AND I CAN BARELY SEE MY PC MONITOR AS MY TEARS ... I'M SO VERY SORRY! I'M TAKING A BREATH ...
THE REASON I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING THUS FAR IN THE MANNER I DID IS THAT YOU SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY NEED, NEED, NEED TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU AND/OR YOUR HUSBAND WERE IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE ... AND THE ANSWER IS NO. ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NO. HER AGE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE PLAYED A PART BY EXACERBATING WHAT DID CAUSE YOUR PRECIOUS BRITNEY TO SUDDENLY PASS AWAY AND IN THE MANNER THAT SHE DID. THE NORMAL LIFE SPAN EXPECTANCY FOR A GREYHOUND IS AROUND NINE YEARS. SOME LIVE AS SONG AS TWELVE YEARS. THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE RACERS WHO USUALLY DO NOT MAKE IT PAST SEVEN YEARS.
AGAIN, I CAN ASSURE YOU WITH UTMOST CERTAINTY THAT NEITHER YOU NOR YOUR HUSBAND DID ANYTHING ADVERSE IN THE LEAST TAKING YOUR SUBJECTIVE DESCRIPTION OF THE FACTS INTO VERY THOUGHTFUL CONSIDERATION. OH, I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY THIS HAPPENED! MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.
PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU, YOUR HUBBY AND SWEET BRITTANY ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I WING MANY LOVING ANGELS TO SOOTHE AND GENTLY GUIDE YOU THROUGH THIS GOSH AWFUL DIFFICULT TIME.
THIS CANDLE AND ROSES ARE FOR BRITNEY. HER BEAUTIFUL SOUL'S FLAME WILL BURN BRIGHTLY FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!
I WISH YOU PEACE!!!
ALWAYS,
DOTTIE xoxoxox
OH DOTTIE!! I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sorry to make you feel sad. Your tears intermingled with mine to rain on Britney's grave and grow the wide-blade sweet grass she liked to chew on.
As a greyhound lover, you know what I am going through. So sweet. SO SWEET. She was a sweet, frisky, freaky, mellow, wild, lady-like, flatulent, sweet-smelling, bull in a china shop! Boy, could she play and romp! Man, could she sleep! I can hear her teeth chattering right now!
Ex-racers don't make it past 7 years???????? What have I been reading? I had it stuck in head that Britney would probably live to 12! What?????
She is an ex-racer. I remember how skinny, stinky, full of dandruff, and AFRAID she was when we brought her home.
Regarding her leash, it was just a regular one. I think it was 6 feet long. She normally stays pretty close to us, but every now and then would kind of gallop ahead to the end of it.
So, I am curious.....what do you think caused this???? It was just all SO SUDDEN. I mean, I watched her die before my eyes in a span of about 20 minutes. I am at a loss. We decided against a necropsy because our vet (not a board-certified examiner) said his guess was either heart attack or heat stroke. When we took her body temp, though, it was 106! So, wouldn't that be heat stroke? Heat stroke with a sudden onset leading to death?
Hi, Everyone. I just wanted to make a general post to THANK EVERYONE here for the immense, immense help you have all given me.
The woman typing this now and the woman who started this thread are so different, we even look different. Nearly gone is the puffiness from my eyes, gone is the headache from crying. My internal fortitude is back. I can now think and talk about my Boopers without falling apart at the seams.
This is all because of you guys here. I read, re-read, and re-read your posts. I also spoke with a good friend of mine who gave me the same sage advice to knock off the self-blame game. I also drew incredible strength from my husband, who summoned the will and strength to go to work and perform several surgeries today. I don't know how he did it. He didn't have the luxury of grieving all day today in private like me, and I hope he will get to do that later this week.
After wailing, throwing myself on the floor like a baby, calling out Britney's name, watching Animal Planet dog shows, repeatedly visiting Britney's dead body, reading your posts, and wailing some more until my contacts clouded up, a cloud suddenly lifted. It was gone. Just like that. It happened after I read these posts, spoke to my friend and husband, and got the news that we could bury her today.
It was amazing. But, I think I was able to process enough of my bad feelings and let go of enough guilt to say goodbye to the Boopers.
We buried her this evening, approximately 24 hrs after she passed. The cemetery is probably 2 miles away, so we can visit her easily. I had never visited it before, but was surprised and RELIEVED to see that it's lovely. Britney is on a little hill that overlooks some fields where some horses romp and play. There's plenty of tall grass for her to hunt around. There are LOTS of squirrels. I imagine her little doggie spirit playing all day there and resting under the shade of the trees.
We were able to actually shovel the dirt on her, which was important to me. I didn't want to just see her body laid in the ground and then leave. Thankfully, the landowner made an exception and allowed us to cover her with it.
The sense of lightness I feel is incredible. I was so burdened down and heavy....and stuck in a hole of self-pity and blame. I feel that I've climbed out of it. I'm still on the edge, though, and looking in. I still cry when I read posts here.....but so much of the blame game is over. My husband and I spent the evening remembering Britney's quirks, funny looks, love, and richness she brought into our lives.
So, what I am trying to say after all of this is [font="Arial Black"][/font][size="3"][/size]THANK YOU!!!! I wouldn't be feeling so much better if it hadn't been for all of you!
The woman typing this now and the woman who started this thread are so different, we even look different. Nearly gone is the puffiness from my eyes, gone is the headache from crying. My internal fortitude is back. I can now think and talk about my Boopers without falling apart at the seams.
This is all because of you guys here. I read, re-read, and re-read your posts. I also spoke with a good friend of mine who gave me the same sage advice to knock off the self-blame game. I also drew incredible strength from my husband, who summoned the will and strength to go to work and perform several surgeries today. I don't know how he did it. He didn't have the luxury of grieving all day today in private like me, and I hope he will get to do that later this week.
After wailing, throwing myself on the floor like a baby, calling out Britney's name, watching Animal Planet dog shows, repeatedly visiting Britney's dead body, reading your posts, and wailing some more until my contacts clouded up, a cloud suddenly lifted. It was gone. Just like that. It happened after I read these posts, spoke to my friend and husband, and got the news that we could bury her today.
It was amazing. But, I think I was able to process enough of my bad feelings and let go of enough guilt to say goodbye to the Boopers.
We buried her this evening, approximately 24 hrs after she passed. The cemetery is probably 2 miles away, so we can visit her easily. I had never visited it before, but was surprised and RELIEVED to see that it's lovely. Britney is on a little hill that overlooks some fields where some horses romp and play. There's plenty of tall grass for her to hunt around. There are LOTS of squirrels. I imagine her little doggie spirit playing all day there and resting under the shade of the trees.
We were able to actually shovel the dirt on her, which was important to me. I didn't want to just see her body laid in the ground and then leave. Thankfully, the landowner made an exception and allowed us to cover her with it.
The sense of lightness I feel is incredible. I was so burdened down and heavy....and stuck in a hole of self-pity and blame. I feel that I've climbed out of it. I'm still on the edge, though, and looking in. I still cry when I read posts here.....but so much of the blame game is over. My husband and I spent the evening remembering Britney's quirks, funny looks, love, and richness she brought into our lives.
So, what I am trying to say after all of this is [font="Arial Black"][/font][size="3"][/size]THANK YOU!!!! I wouldn't be feeling so much better if it hadn't been for all of you!
WOW!!!! Britenysmom it can happen like that with the cloud so to speak lifting, it has lifted & will never be the same, though watch out for some of those other pesky little emotions that may show up, that's ok to feel down, though to me it certainly sounds like you hve processed a heap of your grief & I can so sense your relief, I am glad for you.
I had to consciously remember to breathe just like i said in my other post, we just don't realise just how tensed up we are.......I am so please for you.
I am glad you were able to come here and share with us, it truly is an amazing healing experience being able to post so openly & not feel alone.....
Please keep in touch to let us know how u r getting on.
{{{HUGS}}}
elaine
I had to consciously remember to breathe just like i said in my other post, we just don't realise just how tensed up we are.......I am so please for you.
I am glad you were able to come here and share with us, it truly is an amazing healing experience being able to post so openly & not feel alone.....
Please keep in touch to let us know how u r getting on.
{{{HUGS}}}
elaine
Oh no. Last night I thought I had climbed out of that hole, but I knew deep inside that it couldn't have been for good because the clouds lifted so quickly yesterday. I was sitting on the edge looking in, and I must have fallen back in last night. I'm clinging my fingertips trying to fight falling back in the well of blame and self pity. Someone throw me a rope!
I woke up this morning trying to blame myself again. I asked my husband to repeat to me over and over that it's not our fault, not our fault. He's having a MUCH easier time not getting sucked into the blame and questioning. Maybe it's personality differences. Maybe it's because he's had to deal with death at work (he's in the medical field and treats a lot of elderly and infirm).
I do wish now that we had figured out how to get an in-depth necropsy done. There's noone in our area that specializes in that sort of thing. I need to know. I need to know. I know that's a part of my personality. I've noticed this sort of obsessive need to know in myself before. I need to stop being so fact-based and start being more faith-based. Blame it on my former profession (law) or blame it on my personality, but I need to learn. Maybe this in one of the life lessons I am supposed to work on.
I have to drive 2 hours to a neighboring town today to pick up my wedding ring, which was being repaired. Oh, I dread that long drive!! I hope I can hold it together and not dwell. Crap.
It's a cloudy day for me.
You have all had such sage advice. Please teach me again.
I woke up this morning trying to blame myself again. I asked my husband to repeat to me over and over that it's not our fault, not our fault. He's having a MUCH easier time not getting sucked into the blame and questioning. Maybe it's personality differences. Maybe it's because he's had to deal with death at work (he's in the medical field and treats a lot of elderly and infirm).
I do wish now that we had figured out how to get an in-depth necropsy done. There's noone in our area that specializes in that sort of thing. I need to know. I need to know. I know that's a part of my personality. I've noticed this sort of obsessive need to know in myself before. I need to stop being so fact-based and start being more faith-based. Blame it on my former profession (law) or blame it on my personality, but I need to learn. Maybe this in one of the life lessons I am supposed to work on.
I have to drive 2 hours to a neighboring town today to pick up my wedding ring, which was being repaired. Oh, I dread that long drive!! I hope I can hold it together and not dwell. Crap.
It's a cloudy day for me.
You have all had such sage advice. Please teach me again.
QUOTE
OH DOTTIE!! I AM SO GLAD YOU POSTED!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sorry to make you feel sad. Your tears intermingled with mine to rain on Britney's grave and grow the wide-blade sweet grass she liked to chew on.
As a greyhound lover, you know what I am going through. So sweet. SO SWEET. She was a sweet, frisky, freaky, mellow, wild, lady-like, flatulent, sweet-smelling, bull in a china shop! Boy, could she play and romp! Man, could she sleep! I can hear her teeth chattering right now!
Ex-racers don't make it past 7 years???????? What have I been reading? I had it stuck in head that Britney would probably live to 12! What?????
She is an ex-racer. I remember how skinny, stinky, full of dandruff, and AFRAID she was when we brought her home.
Regarding her leash, it was just a regular one. I think it was 6 feet long. She normally stays pretty close to us, but every now and then would kind of gallop ahead to the end of it.
So, I am curious.....what do you think caused this???? It was just all SO SUDDEN. I mean, I watched her die before my eyes in a span of about 20 minutes. I am at a loss. We decided against a necropsy because our vet (not a board-certified examiner) said his guess was either heart attack or heat stroke. When we took her body temp, though, it was 106! So, wouldn't that be heat stroke? Heat stroke with a sudden onset leading to death?
As a greyhound lover, you know what I am going through. So sweet. SO SWEET. She was a sweet, frisky, freaky, mellow, wild, lady-like, flatulent, sweet-smelling, bull in a china shop! Boy, could she play and romp! Man, could she sleep! I can hear her teeth chattering right now!
Ex-racers don't make it past 7 years???????? What have I been reading? I had it stuck in head that Britney would probably live to 12! What?????
She is an ex-racer. I remember how skinny, stinky, full of dandruff, and AFRAID she was when we brought her home.
Regarding her leash, it was just a regular one. I think it was 6 feet long. She normally stays pretty close to us, but every now and then would kind of gallop ahead to the end of it.
So, I am curious.....what do you think caused this???? It was just all SO SUDDEN. I mean, I watched her die before my eyes in a span of about 20 minutes. I am at a loss. We decided against a necropsy because our vet (not a board-certified examiner) said his guess was either heart attack or heat stroke. When we took her body temp, though, it was 106! So, wouldn't that be heat stroke? Heat stroke with a sudden onset leading to death?
HELLO, DEAR ONE. THIS IS ONLY A QUICK INTERIM POST TO LET YOU KNOW I READ YOUR RESPONSE AND WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS TO THE VERY BEST OF MY ABILITY. IT JUST TAKES ME A WHILE TO COMPOSE A MESSAGE SO I'LL DO THAT NOW THEN COME BACK, EDIT THIS OUT AND SPEAK WITH YOU.
THERE ARE THREE THINGS I DO WISH TO TELL YOU NOW THOUGH AND WILL REPEAT THEM IN MY EDITED POST WHEN I RETURN.
1. YOU SAID ...
QUOTE
Ex-racers don't make it past 7 years???????? What have I been reading? I had it stuck in head that Britney would probably live to 12! What?????
MY APOLOGIES BECAUSE I DIDN'T WORD MYSELF WELL AT ALL. I WAS NOT REFERRING TO EX-RACERS. I AM REFERRING TO THOSE RACERS THAT LIVE, TRAIN AND RACE RIGHT THERE AT THE TRACK, ARE NOT ADOPTED OUT. DO BECOME ILL WHILE LIVING AND WORKING AT THE TRACK OR ... I JUST DON'T WANNA TELL YOU ... THE ONLY LIFE THEY'VE EVER KNOWN OUTSIDE THE TRACK IS WHEN THEY WERE PUPS UNTIL THE AGE OF APPROXIMATELY 1 TO 1 AND 1/2 YEARS. PLEASE DON'T HOLD ME TO THAT AGE THOUGH. I'LL CHECK WITH AN ASSOCIATE SO I CAN BE MORE EXACT.
MY POINT IS THAT IT'S MUCH DIFFERENT FOR THOSE GREYHOUNDS WHO ARE ADOPTED INTO A LOVING HOME AFTER THE TRACK NO LONGER WANTS THEM .... AND, THERE ARE A FEW REASONS THE TRACK SO LONGER CAN USE THEM, THE NUMBER ONE REASON IS THAT THEY'VE OUTLIVED THEIR USEFULNESS. OH, BUT IT'S SO VERY DEAR OF THE TRACK TO PLACE THEM WITH ORGANIZATIONS WHICH WILL THEN FIND THEM LOVING HOMES. HOLY COW, ALL THE PAPERWORK, BACKGROUND CHECKS REGARDING YOUR PAST PETS AND MANY OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED ... I DO BELIEVE IT MAY HAVE BEEN EASIER TO ADOPT A HUMAN CHILD WHEN I RESCUED MAIDEN. THEY ALL KNOW ME AND WERE SO PLEASED THAT I WISHED TO TAKE HER INTO MY HOME AS FAMILY, BUT THE ORGANIZATION NEEDED TO GO BY THE BOOK. MOST UNDERSTANDABLE.
IT WAS DIFFERENT WHEN ADOPTING TRADER DOG SINCE HE WAS HOUSED ALONG WITH ABOUT 125 OTHER GREYHOUNDS AT THE HUMANE SOCIETY IN THE NEST CITY OVER FROM ME. EACH HAD THEIR OWN SEPARATE PEN. LOVELY! TRADER WAS ONE OF THOSE "HAS BEENS THAT NEVER WAS." PLEASE PARDON MY SMILE BUT SO DEAR. HE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE THE CUT AT THE TRACK AND I LATER FOUND OUT WHY. IT WAS HIS HEART. I'LL GO INTO MORE DETAIL LATER BECAUSE I KNOW FOR CERTAIN YOU'LL WANT SPECIFICS ABOUT TRADE'S HEART DUE TO WHAT HAPPENED TI YOU NOSE PRECIOUS BRITNEY. YES, I WILL COME BACK, DO AN EDIT AND GO INTO DETAIL.
2. I AM SO HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY THAT WE HERE AT LS WERE ABLE TO HELP YOU IN COPING WITH YOUR LOSS. I CRIED ... UT OH, HERE COME THE TEARS AGAIN BUT THEY ARE TEARS OF HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT THAT WE WERE ABLE TO HELP YOU, SWEET BRITNEYSMOM. YOU'RE ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT WHAT GREYHOUNDS MEAN TO ME AND WHY. SUCH WONDERFUL, LOVING, COUCH POTATO POOCHES!
3. WHEN I SIGNED ON, A WINDOW POPPED UP INFORMING ME OF YOU PM. I'VE NOT YET READ IT AND WILL DO SO AS SOON AS I'M ABLE. BLESS YOU!!!
MANY MORE COMFORTING HUGS, LOVE, ANGELS AND PEACE TO YOU AND YOURS!!!
ALWAYS,
DOTTIE xoxoxox
PS. PLEASE PARDON ALL TYPOS. I WAS TYPING AS FAST AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE I SAW YOU WERE ONLINE HERE.
I'LL FIX THOSE WHEN I COME BACK TO EDIT. MORE HUGS!!!
So sorry for your loss.
Patricia - you wrote some wonderful words. About Britney sitting with God's arm around her, and watching from above. What you wrote is so beautiful. I wish I had found this site when we lost Lily last year. Like you, Britney's Mom, we lost her so suddenly, and there was nothing we could do. It all happened so fast. We don't really know what happened to this day. It looked like she was choking, but we couldn't feel anything in her throat and all our efforts to save her were in vain - we watched the light fade from her eyes. I live with the guilt of thinking that if she did choke it was our fault for giving her the bone. My husband thinks that maybe she swallowed a bee. Either way, there was nothing we could do and there was not enough time to get her to the vets. She died June 24th last year and the tears are streaming down my face as I write this. I'm sorry - I know this is about you and your precious little angel. But just a few days after losing Lily, we found out our other baby had cancer. We lost her this April 4th. We still haven't buried her ashes, and sometimes I think that we are being disrespectful to Lily by not burying Hunny's ashes next to Lily. Lily was buried not cremated. I don't think I could handle bury Hunny's ashes yet though.
Anyway, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm glad you found this website. I wish I had found it last year when Lily left us. But I did find it a few days before we had to give Hunny her angel wings and I am truly grateful for the kind and wonderful words that were offered. People here are wonderful. I wish I could have met some in person - I really could have used that hug in person.
So, I'm sending a hug your way.
Take care.
Lynette.
Patricia - you wrote some wonderful words. About Britney sitting with God's arm around her, and watching from above. What you wrote is so beautiful. I wish I had found this site when we lost Lily last year. Like you, Britney's Mom, we lost her so suddenly, and there was nothing we could do. It all happened so fast. We don't really know what happened to this day. It looked like she was choking, but we couldn't feel anything in her throat and all our efforts to save her were in vain - we watched the light fade from her eyes. I live with the guilt of thinking that if she did choke it was our fault for giving her the bone. My husband thinks that maybe she swallowed a bee. Either way, there was nothing we could do and there was not enough time to get her to the vets. She died June 24th last year and the tears are streaming down my face as I write this. I'm sorry - I know this is about you and your precious little angel. But just a few days after losing Lily, we found out our other baby had cancer. We lost her this April 4th. We still haven't buried her ashes, and sometimes I think that we are being disrespectful to Lily by not burying Hunny's ashes next to Lily. Lily was buried not cremated. I don't think I could handle bury Hunny's ashes yet though.
Anyway, I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm glad you found this website. I wish I had found it last year when Lily left us. But I did find it a few days before we had to give Hunny her angel wings and I am truly grateful for the kind and wonderful words that were offered. People here are wonderful. I wish I could have met some in person - I really could have used that hug in person.
So, I'm sending a hug your way.
Take care.
Lynette.
P.S.
This is Hunny in the picture. I have not been able to upload a photo of Lily. Lily was a gorgeous blond spaniel cross whom we rescued back in 2001. She died on the very same day that Izzy was surrended by a puppy mill. We rescued Izzy just ten days after Lily left us. I like to think that Lily gave up her place on this earth so that we could shower our love on another needy dog. Not that it makes things a whole lot easier, but Izzy is so precious to us - I could not imagine life without her now. Maybe things happen for a reason!!! Who knows?
This is Hunny in the picture. I have not been able to upload a photo of Lily. Lily was a gorgeous blond spaniel cross whom we rescued back in 2001. She died on the very same day that Izzy was surrended by a puppy mill. We rescued Izzy just ten days after Lily left us. I like to think that Lily gave up her place on this earth so that we could shower our love on another needy dog. Not that it makes things a whole lot easier, but Izzy is so precious to us - I could not imagine life without her now. Maybe things happen for a reason!!! Who knows?
QUOTE (lynette @ Aug 4 2009, 11:01 AM)
Hi, Lynette. Thank you for sharing your wonderful photos of Lily and Hunny. How beautiful and precious! I can sense their loving and eager personalities in their photos.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you sharing.....and no, this is not just about me here. We must all share and help each other. You helped me with your post because it helps me realize that I am not alone in this and that people can and do move forward with their lives after such sudden loss.
You know a lot about how I feel. I felt powerless, helpless, responsible. Watching her die before my eyes without being able to help her was the worst possible thing.
What did you do to process this and come out on the other end? I've been trying to remind myself that Britney is now happier than she ever was here on earth. I hope to someday see her again.
Thank you for writing.
I have to head out for a few hours, but was just reading something on guilt. It appears that I am suffering from "imagined guilt" according to this blog I found at: http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quips...our-pets-death/
I am going to keep reminding myself that this guilt and questioning that keeps creeping back in is a destructive force on my path to healing that I need to bash out of the way. I know I was a good doggie mom. We took excellent care of her and gave her all of our love and affection, were always gentle with her, and tried to enrich her life experience with fun and new activities.
I'm pasting the article here so I can read it along with everyone else's input. Maybe it will help someone else too.
I just have to say --- I must have a very strong imagination. Plus a strong need to be in control (but my husband already knew that!) ;-) Just trying to perk myself up here.
I'm also arrogant, as nearly all humans are (especially us Americans), thinking we can control everything that happens. We can control a lot of things, but not everything.
Okay, now if only I could keep this fleeting feeling of strength and clarity with me all day!
Here it is:
4 Ways to Cope With the Guilt of Your Pet’s Death
1. Remember that it’s normal to feel guilty. Whether your guilt is real or imagined, know that it is a normal grief reaction. Even the most “innocent” of pet owners feel guilty about the death of their dog or cat. I cringe when I recall how angry I was at my beloved cat, Zoey, for scratching the basement door (I didn’t realize the door to her litter box was shut tight, and she couldn’t get in). That was over 12 years ago, and I still feel guilty! Some pet owners feel guilty about their cat or dog’s death - or how they treated the pet while alive.
2. Identify “real” guilt. Real guilt may spring from your feelings that you neglected your dog or cat’s annual vaccinations, daily food intake, exercise habits, and “quality time” with you. If you’re struggling with real guilt, remember that you had reasons for doing what you did. The stress of money, work, kids, marriage, and daily life may have taken precedence over how you treated your pet. Maybe you didn’t make the best choices. Dealing with the guilt of your pet’s death involves accepting that you wish you would’ve done things differently - and talking this through with your family, friends, or loved ones.
3. Remember what you did right. Your dog or cat loved you beyond all reason - so you must have done something right! How did you love and take care of your pet? Balance your real guilt with the real ways you loved your pet. You took good care of your dog or cat in many ways; don’t wave that away. Coping with pet loss isn’t just about mourning; it’s about cherishing the best parts of your life with your dog or cat.
4. Identify “imagined” guilt. Not recognizing that your Yorkie, ##apoo, or Siamese cat was ill doesn’t mean that you weren’t paying attention or taking good care of her! This is imagined guilt. Animals can’t always communicate their physical health; we can’t see inside their bodies and brains. If you’re dealing with imagined guilt because of your animal’s death, remember that sometimes illness or disease overcomes our dogs, cats, and other beloved pets…and there’s nothing we can do. This loss of control is a very painful part of life; unfortunately, it permeates everything we experience.
I am going to keep reminding myself that this guilt and questioning that keeps creeping back in is a destructive force on my path to healing that I need to bash out of the way. I know I was a good doggie mom. We took excellent care of her and gave her all of our love and affection, were always gentle with her, and tried to enrich her life experience with fun and new activities.
I'm pasting the article here so I can read it along with everyone else's input. Maybe it will help someone else too.
I just have to say --- I must have a very strong imagination. Plus a strong need to be in control (but my husband already knew that!) ;-) Just trying to perk myself up here.
I'm also arrogant, as nearly all humans are (especially us Americans), thinking we can control everything that happens. We can control a lot of things, but not everything.
Okay, now if only I could keep this fleeting feeling of strength and clarity with me all day!
Here it is:
4 Ways to Cope With the Guilt of Your Pet’s Death
1. Remember that it’s normal to feel guilty. Whether your guilt is real or imagined, know that it is a normal grief reaction. Even the most “innocent” of pet owners feel guilty about the death of their dog or cat. I cringe when I recall how angry I was at my beloved cat, Zoey, for scratching the basement door (I didn’t realize the door to her litter box was shut tight, and she couldn’t get in). That was over 12 years ago, and I still feel guilty! Some pet owners feel guilty about their cat or dog’s death - or how they treated the pet while alive.
2. Identify “real” guilt. Real guilt may spring from your feelings that you neglected your dog or cat’s annual vaccinations, daily food intake, exercise habits, and “quality time” with you. If you’re struggling with real guilt, remember that you had reasons for doing what you did. The stress of money, work, kids, marriage, and daily life may have taken precedence over how you treated your pet. Maybe you didn’t make the best choices. Dealing with the guilt of your pet’s death involves accepting that you wish you would’ve done things differently - and talking this through with your family, friends, or loved ones.
3. Remember what you did right. Your dog or cat loved you beyond all reason - so you must have done something right! How did you love and take care of your pet? Balance your real guilt with the real ways you loved your pet. You took good care of your dog or cat in many ways; don’t wave that away. Coping with pet loss isn’t just about mourning; it’s about cherishing the best parts of your life with your dog or cat.
4. Identify “imagined” guilt. Not recognizing that your Yorkie, ##apoo, or Siamese cat was ill doesn’t mean that you weren’t paying attention or taking good care of her! This is imagined guilt. Animals can’t always communicate their physical health; we can’t see inside their bodies and brains. If you’re dealing with imagined guilt because of your animal’s death, remember that sometimes illness or disease overcomes our dogs, cats, and other beloved pets…and there’s nothing we can do. This loss of control is a very painful part of life; unfortunately, it permeates everything we experience.
QUOTE (britneysmom @ Aug 3 2009, 08:08 PM)
Patricia, those bear hugs are the best. You know I've never used a forum like this, but I can really FEEL your gentle but firm support and hugs. It means so much to me. Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I have a feeling it's doing something. In fact, I know it's doing something. I'm posting a more general response to everyone here later below explaining the huge weight that's been lifted off of me due to the support I've received here and elsewhere from wonderful people like you.
well then you keep on taking those big hugs from lucy and i whenever you need one all the way from california. how are you doing today? i was reading the posts and if i may, would like to offer you some advice: dont speed up the greiving process and dont expect it to be over from one day to the next. as someone who has lost many of her wonderful fur companions i can relate to how youre feeling. you want to be ok again because the pain is so deep. but you will go thru ups and downs. i lost my riley, freds little brother, over a year ago and i still lose my mind when i see pix of his sweet face. i have good days and bad days. with time, the good days overpower the bad. logic will take over and you will feel yourself getting better one day and the next logic goes out the window and we fall into that black hole again. but your britney does not want you to be unhappy and we must find a way to keep going. its not easy by any means. know that its ok to have bad days. you just lost britney. its going to take time. i love how you and your husband walk thru memory lane and remember the wonderful happy times that you had with her. keep doing that. and i love elains (petmum) advice to you: "you can hounour your beloved Britney by knowing that she loved & still does love you for everthing you did & for everything your tried to do to save her." so when you feel upset and the guilt tries to win, remember her words to you. words we should all live by. youre doing great britneys mom. i can assure you that britney is watching you and will always be with you...
you are in my prayers. may the lord continue to heal your pain and your sadness and give you peace.
patricia
lynette, than you for the kind words. i truly believe that our pets are a gift from god. and i also believe that our heavenly father misses them just as much as we do and when he calls them back into his kingdom, he rejoices. your hunny (what a beautiful dear one) and lily are there too. when they arrived at his feet, he embraced them and welcome them back into his arms. dont you ever for one minute think you are being disrespectul to your sweet lily. our dear ones are 100% love and all they know is how much we love them. so you keep hunny's ashes as long as you need to. i have all of mine still. dear lynette, i feel as though i should give you a big hug. i think you are needing one right about now. please know that my lucy sends one as well. and please write. there is no reason for us to hold this grief inside. the more we let it out, the easier the days become…and most importantly the more our pets smile from up above. they want us to be happy again. so please if youre having a bad day, know that we are here for you.
you are in my thoughts and prayers
patricia
Lynette.[/quote]
Hi again.
I don't know that I have made it through. When Lily died I cried all the time. It took a very long time to accept her death. I would cry all the way to work and back every day. But at the same time I had to deal with Hunny's cancer. There was two months of cleaning and bandaging her foot every single day - at least once a day. And last year was so wet here. Poor Hunny - she absolutely hated having to wear the bandages and the plastic bag to keep it dry. And she especially hated the collar. Hunny didn't have much time to grieve for her sister either because we decided that we couldn't lose Hunny either. She fought such a courageous battle. She seemed to be doing well for a few months and then we noticed the tumour growing again at Christmas time. I cried so many tears when we found out Hunny had cancer. I have no regrets with Hunny. And the thought of knowing that we would more than likely have to put her to sleep haunted me daily. I would play over and over in my mind what would happen. I've never had to go through this before so I didn't know how it "worked". I felt guilty for "planning" her final moments, but I just couldn't help myself. The day that we had to make the call, I cried non-stop all day. That's when I found this website. But I woke up on the actual day with a sense of calm or acceptance - I don't know what it was. I took Hunny for a walk that morning. I let her lead the way and we walked slowly. We got to the end of the road and she just stood there for a few minutes. Walking had become difficult for her because of her foot, she tried, but could never go too far. I remember thinking that she looked just so weary standing there. I think she was ready to meet Lily. I think she was only holding on for us and our other dogs.
I think it was just before Christmas sometime that I think I finally let Lily "go". It just popped into my head one day that "what if Lily was caught between worlds because she couldn't leave us yet, because I couldn't let her go?" I couldn't bear the thought that she could be trapped somewhere and not be happy. That's when I "let" her go. This might sound crazy, but I told her to fly to heaven, if she hadn't already. To be happy and healthy and to be with all of the other pets that I have lost over the years. She knew Bruno and Pooch would be waiting for her. I told her that we would be okay and that Hunny would be there soon. It wasn't until I did this that I was able to move on. I still cry for Lily - I am now. Writing this makes that emptiness in my heart seem even emptier. And I wish so much that I could see them again. I imagine that they are walking along the ditches and across the fields together - side by side - like they always did here on earth. I hope that they are happy together. And that both are healthy again.
A few days after Hunny left, I was walking our other dogs with my daughter when I said to her - "look, there's Hunny and Lily. Do you see them walking up ahead?" She looked for a few seconds, with a serious look on her face, then said no. That was a sad moment, for her not to see them. But I saw them (in my mind's eye I know). It was actually a very peaceful feeling to see that. Knowing that they are both together again. And happy and healthy.
I guess time is the answer. It just takes time. Time doesn't stop for anyone unfortunately. And I miss both of them so much that it still hurts. But there is nothing I can do and I am just grateful that I have other furbabies to love. I can talk about Hunny and Lily sometimes without crying - sometimes. I know there will come a time when the memories will all be good ones. But for now, all I can do - or any of us - is to just take it one day at a time.
I know I'm rambling again. But it is getting easier. It's not often that I cry all the way to and from work anymore, just for a few minutes at a time now. Anyway, I hope that you can find some peace soon. After the guilt comes the longing and the aching for them. That one lasts a very long time or at least it has for me. I still have that feeling. Sometimes, out of the blue it's just like a wave washes over you and you have such an empty longing for them. That's the saddest and the hardest part I think. Cos you know they can never come back. Sorry for telling you this, but this part I think hurts the most.
Anyway, I better go. Thanks for listening.
Hope to talk to you again soon.
I don't know that I have made it through. When Lily died I cried all the time. It took a very long time to accept her death. I would cry all the way to work and back every day. But at the same time I had to deal with Hunny's cancer. There was two months of cleaning and bandaging her foot every single day - at least once a day. And last year was so wet here. Poor Hunny - she absolutely hated having to wear the bandages and the plastic bag to keep it dry. And she especially hated the collar. Hunny didn't have much time to grieve for her sister either because we decided that we couldn't lose Hunny either. She fought such a courageous battle. She seemed to be doing well for a few months and then we noticed the tumour growing again at Christmas time. I cried so many tears when we found out Hunny had cancer. I have no regrets with Hunny. And the thought of knowing that we would more than likely have to put her to sleep haunted me daily. I would play over and over in my mind what would happen. I've never had to go through this before so I didn't know how it "worked". I felt guilty for "planning" her final moments, but I just couldn't help myself. The day that we had to make the call, I cried non-stop all day. That's when I found this website. But I woke up on the actual day with a sense of calm or acceptance - I don't know what it was. I took Hunny for a walk that morning. I let her lead the way and we walked slowly. We got to the end of the road and she just stood there for a few minutes. Walking had become difficult for her because of her foot, she tried, but could never go too far. I remember thinking that she looked just so weary standing there. I think she was ready to meet Lily. I think she was only holding on for us and our other dogs.
I think it was just before Christmas sometime that I think I finally let Lily "go". It just popped into my head one day that "what if Lily was caught between worlds because she couldn't leave us yet, because I couldn't let her go?" I couldn't bear the thought that she could be trapped somewhere and not be happy. That's when I "let" her go. This might sound crazy, but I told her to fly to heaven, if she hadn't already. To be happy and healthy and to be with all of the other pets that I have lost over the years. She knew Bruno and Pooch would be waiting for her. I told her that we would be okay and that Hunny would be there soon. It wasn't until I did this that I was able to move on. I still cry for Lily - I am now. Writing this makes that emptiness in my heart seem even emptier. And I wish so much that I could see them again. I imagine that they are walking along the ditches and across the fields together - side by side - like they always did here on earth. I hope that they are happy together. And that both are healthy again.
A few days after Hunny left, I was walking our other dogs with my daughter when I said to her - "look, there's Hunny and Lily. Do you see them walking up ahead?" She looked for a few seconds, with a serious look on her face, then said no. That was a sad moment, for her not to see them. But I saw them (in my mind's eye I know). It was actually a very peaceful feeling to see that. Knowing that they are both together again. And happy and healthy.
I guess time is the answer. It just takes time. Time doesn't stop for anyone unfortunately. And I miss both of them so much that it still hurts. But there is nothing I can do and I am just grateful that I have other furbabies to love. I can talk about Hunny and Lily sometimes without crying - sometimes. I know there will come a time when the memories will all be good ones. But for now, all I can do - or any of us - is to just take it one day at a time.
I know I'm rambling again. But it is getting easier. It's not often that I cry all the way to and from work anymore, just for a few minutes at a time now. Anyway, I hope that you can find some peace soon. After the guilt comes the longing and the aching for them. That one lasts a very long time or at least it has for me. I still have that feeling. Sometimes, out of the blue it's just like a wave washes over you and you have such an empty longing for them. That's the saddest and the hardest part I think. Cos you know they can never come back. Sorry for telling you this, but this part I think hurts the most.
Anyway, I better go. Thanks for listening.
Hope to talk to you again soon.
Oh, honey. You didn't kill her. You took her for a walk. That's what people do for their dogs, they take them for walks. 85 degrees doesn't seem that hot to me. You don't even know if it was heat stroke or a heart attack or what. You couldn't predict it. You just went for a walk, that's all. People take their dogs for walks every day.
You did everything you could to save her. Not your fault she just could not be saved. Hard as it is to accept, it was just her time, that's all. It's not fair, and it hurts like hell, but there you have it.
How do you deal with it? Well, you grieve, and you cry, and you hold her blanket and smell her smell. You talk about it to people who can understand what you're going through, and you ignore all the people who try to tell you to get over it already. You take it minute by minute, that's all.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Magdalene
You did everything you could to save her. Not your fault she just could not be saved. Hard as it is to accept, it was just her time, that's all. It's not fair, and it hurts like hell, but there you have it.
How do you deal with it? Well, you grieve, and you cry, and you hold her blanket and smell her smell. You talk about it to people who can understand what you're going through, and you ignore all the people who try to tell you to get over it already. You take it minute by minute, that's all.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Magdalene
thinking of you right now britneysmom.
{{{HUG}}}
{{{HUG}}}
QUOTE (lynette @ Aug 4 2009, 01:42 PM)
Hi again.
I don't know that I have made it through. When Lily died I cried all the time. It took a very long time to accept her death. I would cry all the way to work and back every day. But at the same time I had to deal with Hunny's cancer. There was two months of cleaning and bandaging her foot every single day - at least once a day. And last year was so wet here. Poor Hunny - she absolutely hated having to wear the bandages and the plastic bag to keep it dry. And she especially hated the collar. Hunny didn't have much time to grieve for her sister either because we decided that we couldn't lose Hunny either. She fought such a courageous battle. She seemed to be doing well for a few months and then we noticed the tumour growing again at Christmas time. I cried so many tears when we found out Hunny had cancer. I have no regrets with Hunny. And the thought of knowing that we would more than likely have to put her to sleep haunted me daily. I would play over and over in my mind what would happen. I've never had to go through this before so I didn't know how it "worked". I felt guilty for "planning" her final moments, but I just couldn't help myself. The day that we had to make the call, I cried non-stop all day. That's when I found this website. But I woke up on the actual day with a sense of calm or acceptance - I don't know what it was. I took Hunny for a walk that morning. I let her lead the way and we walked slowly. We got to the end of the road and she just stood there for a few minutes. Walking had become difficult for her because of her foot, she tried, but could never go too far. I remember thinking that she looked just so weary standing there. I think she was ready to meet Lily. I think she was only holding on for us and our other dogs.
I think it was just before Christmas sometime that I think I finally let Lily "go". It just popped into my head one day that "what if Lily was caught between worlds because she couldn't leave us yet, because I couldn't let her go?" I couldn't bear the thought that she could be trapped somewhere and not be happy. That's when I "let" her go. This might sound crazy, but I told her to fly to heaven, if she hadn't already. To be happy and healthy and to be with all of the other pets that I have lost over the years. She knew Bruno and Pooch would be waiting for her. I told her that we would be okay and that Hunny would be there soon. It wasn't until I did this that I was able to move on. I still cry for Lily - I am now. Writing this makes that emptiness in my heart seem even emptier. And I wish so much that I could see them again. I imagine that they are walking along the ditches and across the fields together - side by side - like they always did here on earth. I hope that they are happy together. And that both are healthy again.
A few days after Hunny left, I was walking our other dogs with my daughter when I said to her - "look, there's Hunny and Lily. Do you see them walking up ahead?" She looked for a few seconds, with a serious look on her face, then said no. That was a sad moment, for her not to see them. But I saw them (in my mind's eye I know). It was actually a very peaceful feeling to see that. Knowing that they are both together again. And happy and healthy.
I guess time is the answer. It just takes time. Time doesn't stop for anyone unfortunately. And I miss both of them so much that it still hurts. But there is nothing I can do and I am just grateful that I have other furbabies to love. I can talk about Hunny and Lily sometimes without crying - sometimes. I know there will come a time when the memories will all be good ones. But for now, all I can do - or any of us - is to just take it one day at a time.
I know I'm rambling again. But it is getting easier. It's not often that I cry all the way to and from work anymore, just for a few minutes at a time now. Anyway, I hope that you can find some peace soon. After the guilt comes the longing and the aching for them. That one lasts a very long time or at least it has for me. I still have that feeling. Sometimes, out of the blue it's just like a wave washes over you and you have such an empty longing for them. That's the saddest and the hardest part I think. Cos you know they can never come back. Sorry for telling you this, but this part I think hurts the most.
Anyway, I better go. Thanks for listening.
Hope to talk to you again soon.
I don't know that I have made it through. When Lily died I cried all the time. It took a very long time to accept her death. I would cry all the way to work and back every day. But at the same time I had to deal with Hunny's cancer. There was two months of cleaning and bandaging her foot every single day - at least once a day. And last year was so wet here. Poor Hunny - she absolutely hated having to wear the bandages and the plastic bag to keep it dry. And she especially hated the collar. Hunny didn't have much time to grieve for her sister either because we decided that we couldn't lose Hunny either. She fought such a courageous battle. She seemed to be doing well for a few months and then we noticed the tumour growing again at Christmas time. I cried so many tears when we found out Hunny had cancer. I have no regrets with Hunny. And the thought of knowing that we would more than likely have to put her to sleep haunted me daily. I would play over and over in my mind what would happen. I've never had to go through this before so I didn't know how it "worked". I felt guilty for "planning" her final moments, but I just couldn't help myself. The day that we had to make the call, I cried non-stop all day. That's when I found this website. But I woke up on the actual day with a sense of calm or acceptance - I don't know what it was. I took Hunny for a walk that morning. I let her lead the way and we walked slowly. We got to the end of the road and she just stood there for a few minutes. Walking had become difficult for her because of her foot, she tried, but could never go too far. I remember thinking that she looked just so weary standing there. I think she was ready to meet Lily. I think she was only holding on for us and our other dogs.
I think it was just before Christmas sometime that I think I finally let Lily "go". It just popped into my head one day that "what if Lily was caught between worlds because she couldn't leave us yet, because I couldn't let her go?" I couldn't bear the thought that she could be trapped somewhere and not be happy. That's when I "let" her go. This might sound crazy, but I told her to fly to heaven, if she hadn't already. To be happy and healthy and to be with all of the other pets that I have lost over the years. She knew Bruno and Pooch would be waiting for her. I told her that we would be okay and that Hunny would be there soon. It wasn't until I did this that I was able to move on. I still cry for Lily - I am now. Writing this makes that emptiness in my heart seem even emptier. And I wish so much that I could see them again. I imagine that they are walking along the ditches and across the fields together - side by side - like they always did here on earth. I hope that they are happy together. And that both are healthy again.
A few days after Hunny left, I was walking our other dogs with my daughter when I said to her - "look, there's Hunny and Lily. Do you see them walking up ahead?" She looked for a few seconds, with a serious look on her face, then said no. That was a sad moment, for her not to see them. But I saw them (in my mind's eye I know). It was actually a very peaceful feeling to see that. Knowing that they are both together again. And happy and healthy.
I guess time is the answer. It just takes time. Time doesn't stop for anyone unfortunately. And I miss both of them so much that it still hurts. But there is nothing I can do and I am just grateful that I have other furbabies to love. I can talk about Hunny and Lily sometimes without crying - sometimes. I know there will come a time when the memories will all be good ones. But for now, all I can do - or any of us - is to just take it one day at a time.
I know I'm rambling again. But it is getting easier. It's not often that I cry all the way to and from work anymore, just for a few minutes at a time now. Anyway, I hope that you can find some peace soon. After the guilt comes the longing and the aching for them. That one lasts a very long time or at least it has for me. I still have that feeling. Sometimes, out of the blue it's just like a wave washes over you and you have such an empty longing for them. That's the saddest and the hardest part I think. Cos you know they can never come back. Sorry for telling you this, but this part I think hurts the most.
Anyway, I better go. Thanks for listening.
Hope to talk to you again soon.
Lynette, thank you so much for sharing. Keep you've helped me feel so much better. Keep writing.......I'm praying that you feel better, too. Like you said, "It's getting easier."
Wow. Magdalene. Your words are powerful! "You didn't kill her. You took her for a walk. People take their dogs for walks every day." That is my mantra for today and any others days when guilt tries to creep back in.
Thank you so much for coming to my aid.
Thank you so much for coming to my aid.
QUOTE (magdalene @ Aug 4 2009, 02:27 PM)
Oh, honey. You didn't kill her. You took her for a walk. That's what people do for their dogs, they take them for walks. 85 degrees doesn't seem that hot to me. You don't even know if it was heat stroke or a heart attack or what. You couldn't predict it. You just went for a walk, that's all. People take their dogs for walks every day.
You did everything you could to save her. Not your fault she just could not be saved. Hard as it is to accept, it was just her time, that's all. It's not fair, and it hurts like hell, but there you have it.
How do you deal with it? Well, you grieve, and you cry, and you hold her blanket and smell her smell. You talk about it to people who can understand what you're going through, and you ignore all the people who try to tell you to get over it already. You take it minute by minute, that's all.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Magdalene
You did everything you could to save her. Not your fault she just could not be saved. Hard as it is to accept, it was just her time, that's all. It's not fair, and it hurts like hell, but there you have it.
How do you deal with it? Well, you grieve, and you cry, and you hold her blanket and smell her smell. You talk about it to people who can understand what you're going through, and you ignore all the people who try to tell you to get over it already. You take it minute by minute, that's all.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Magdalene
QUOTE (petmum @ Aug 4 2009, 06:15 PM)
thinking of you right now britneysmom.
{{{HUG}}}
{{{HUG}}}
Hi, Petmum Elaine! I felt your hugs all yesterday when I was driving to get my ring. I felt so reassured.
Patricia, you are just so THERE for me. Your presence is very strong. THANK YOU for your advice about not trying to rush things. Yeah, I'm an impatient one. Two lessons I am learning the hard way -- be patient, and you can't control everything.
QUOTE (patricia @ Aug 4 2009, 01:09 PM)
well then you keep on taking those big hugs from lucy and i whenever you need one all the way from california. how are you doing today? i was reading the posts and if i may, would like to offer you some advice: dont speed up the greiving process and dont expect it to be over from one day to the next. as someone who has lost many of her wonderful fur companions i can relate to how youre feeling. you want to be ok again because the pain is so deep. but you will go thru ups and downs. i lost my riley, freds little brother, over a year ago and i still lose my mind when i see pix of his sweet face. i have good days and bad days. with time, the good days overpower the bad. logic will take over and you will feel yourself getting better one day and the next logic goes out the window and we fall into that black hole again. but your britney does not want you to be unhappy and we must find a way to keep going. its not easy by any means. know that its ok to have bad days. you just lost britney. its going to take time. i love how you and your husband walk thru memory lane and remember the wonderful happy times that you had with her. keep doing that. and i love elains (petmum) advice to you: "you can hounour your beloved Britney by knowing that she loved & still does love you for everthing you did & for everything your tried to do to save her." so when you feel upset and the guilt tries to win, remember her words to you. words we should all live by. youre doing great britneys mom. i can assure you that britney is watching you and will always be with you...
you are in my prayers. may the lord continue to heal your pain and your sadness and give you peace.
patricia
you are in my prayers. may the lord continue to heal your pain and your sadness and give you peace.
patricia
I'm just making a quick post here to let anyone reading this know that I am also starting a new thread on signs and messages from God and/or our deceased pets. I am sure there are several like that, but I'd love to start a new conversation on it.
Yesterday and the day before, I experienced 2 very powerful things that I believe were answers to prayerful requests I made to Him.
By the way, this morning, I woke up and didn't feel guilty. Sad and missing her, but not guilty. :-)
Yesterday and the day before, I experienced 2 very powerful things that I believe were answers to prayerful requests I made to Him.
By the way, this morning, I woke up and didn't feel guilty. Sad and missing her, but not guilty. :-)
thats go great to hear! guilt is one of the hardest things to let go. One day i thought, "my fred and riley, they know how much i loved them and what i would do for them. im the one who is making myself so awful inside". its almost like a requirement isnt it? perhaps its because only when they leave us, do we understand the magnitude of the love that they gave us during their short and borrowed life with us. its bad enough our hearts are broken into a million pieces and now we add guilt to it? i realized that fred and riley want me to be happy again. and if i released the guilt, i would honor them in life and death. releasing guilt, not so easy, but you took your first step. and when you feel yourself backtracking, remember what everyone here has told you: you were nothing but a wonderful, caring and loving mom to britney. its so wonderful that even when they are not here, they continue to teach us so much. so much of my own life, i owe to all of my furry friends. they taught (and continue to teach) me to love wholly, patience, tolerance, and so much more. (lord knows i need the patience with lucy;) but although britney isnt here with you physically, she is still teaching you so much about yourself: she is teaching you to love and to forgive yourself. she wouldnt want anything else for you...
thats why i love all animals. they werent put here for decoration, they were put on this earth to teach us all a little something about love.
you are in my prayers always
patricia
thats why i love all animals. they werent put here for decoration, they were put on this earth to teach us all a little something about love.
you are in my prayers always
patricia
so true Patricia
elaine
elaine
QUOTE (britneysmom @ Aug 3 2009, 04:03 PM)
Patricia and Jjai, thanks so much for responding. I am trying to take your advice to heart. I keep beating myself up. The GUILT. You are right, though. I can wallow in guilt the rest of my life if I choose to. It's a choice I must make to crawl out of this.
We are burying her in a few hours. I am actually grateful that her body has been with us since she passed almost 24 hours ago. Man, I can't believe it's been 24 hours. Today, her body looks and feels simply like a cold body....at least more than it did yesterday.....and not like our little Boopers. It has helped me realize that her spirit lives on. Yesterday, I couldn't separate her body from her real being as easily. I imagine her looking down and wanting to give me a butt boop with her nose.
I am going to call her name some more. I know she won't come, but a part of me imagines her running in from her "den."
I hope burying her will help me deal with reality a little better.
We are burying her in a few hours. I am actually grateful that her body has been with us since she passed almost 24 hours ago. Man, I can't believe it's been 24 hours. Today, her body looks and feels simply like a cold body....at least more than it did yesterday.....and not like our little Boopers. It has helped me realize that her spirit lives on. Yesterday, I couldn't separate her body from her real being as easily. I imagine her looking down and wanting to give me a butt boop with her nose.
I am going to call her name some more. I know she won't come, but a part of me imagines her running in from her "den."
I hope burying her will help me deal with reality a little better.
Hi,
I am sorry for your sudden loss. I know how painful that is. They're here and then they're gone. A huge punch to the gut reminding us how fragile life is. Then comes the guilt, the what if's...I am trying really hard to crawl out of this too. I have come along way since January. Here is something that helped me. Hopefully it can help you to. HOPEFULLY IT CAN HELP EVERYONE ELSE TOO! Please read: "Breaking the power of guilt," by Moria Anderson Allen, M.Ed. www.pet-loss.net/guilt.html
Hope all is well. It was not your fault.
Mouses Mommy
Hi,
I am also one of those who feel very guilty for my dog's death.
I feel bad because my dog started to vomit and I didn't take him to the vet right away...
we thought he just ate too much. We wanted to wait a night and wait until the morning which was a HUGE mistake...
Had I just taken him in right then he would have been alive!! My husband event took the car to
get his stupid brother who was stuck while Ceaser was dying and sick because we thought he was just a little ill from eating too much!
Instead of rescuing his idiot brother , I should have rescued my dog instead!! I should have taken my dog in!
I am very very upset and I know how you feel about this...I know it isn't my fault nor yours...they go when they go...and there is a reason for it!
I still am NOT over it but I have wonderful support from Dottie!
Hang in there...
how are you doing britneys mom?
Ceasersthings, I am so sorry for your loss! Try, try to not blame yourself. You did nothing wrong and everything right.
Reading what you wrote helped me understand my situation better. I am so grateful that you shared your feelings here. You see, when I read your post, my reaction is, "This person should not be blaming herself. How could she have known? She did what any great pet mom would have done. She did nothing wrong. I would have done the same thing. I hope she can get past her guilt and see that she did nothing wrong."
I hope you can read my post and think the same thing. Then, when you feel pangs of guilt, remember that and apply it to yourself.
When I feel the guilt creeping in, I am going to remember your post and how there is no blame. And then I am going to try my best to apply that to myself.
Ceaserthings, I will keep you at the forefront of my thoughts. Hang in there and try to go easy on yourself. Your baby would want you to. There is no blame except that which we make up in out minds. ***HUG***
Reading what you wrote helped me understand my situation better. I am so grateful that you shared your feelings here. You see, when I read your post, my reaction is, "This person should not be blaming herself. How could she have known? She did what any great pet mom would have done. She did nothing wrong. I would have done the same thing. I hope she can get past her guilt and see that she did nothing wrong."
I hope you can read my post and think the same thing. Then, when you feel pangs of guilt, remember that and apply it to yourself.
When I feel the guilt creeping in, I am going to remember your post and how there is no blame. And then I am going to try my best to apply that to myself.
Ceaserthings, I will keep you at the forefront of my thoughts. Hang in there and try to go easy on yourself. Your baby would want you to. There is no blame except that which we make up in out minds. ***HUG***
Mouses Mommy, I am so sorry for your own loss. I hope your feelings of guilt give way to great memories of your loved one.
Wow, that was POWERFUL article. I read it with my hubbie just now. Thank you so much!!!
It helps reinforce the newfound strength I have found and am trying to hold onto 24/7.
The guilt does creep in still. Today, though, it happened just once -- in the morning. Morning seems to be my weak time.
The next time it happens, I am going to remember this article, as well as the fact that guilt is a normal part of the grieving process. I am going to practice some mental discipline and stop myself from wallowing in those thoughts. Wish me luck!
Thanks again and stay strong!
Wow, that was POWERFUL article. I read it with my hubbie just now. Thank you so much!!!
It helps reinforce the newfound strength I have found and am trying to hold onto 24/7.
The guilt does creep in still. Today, though, it happened just once -- in the morning. Morning seems to be my weak time.
The next time it happens, I am going to remember this article, as well as the fact that guilt is a normal part of the grieving process. I am going to practice some mental discipline and stop myself from wallowing in those thoughts. Wish me luck!
Thanks again and stay strong!
QUOTE (I miss mouses @ Aug 6 2009, 03:26 PM)
Hi,
I am sorry for your sudden loss. I know how painful that is. They're here and then they're gone. A huge punch to the gut reminding us how fragile life is. Then comes the guilt, the what if's...I am trying really hard to crawl out of this too. I have come along way since January. Here is something that helped me. Hopefully it can help you to. HOPEFULLY IT CAN HELP EVERYONE ELSE TOO! Please read: "Breaking the power of guilt," by Moria Anderson Allen, M.Ed. www.pet-loss.net/guilt.html
Hope all is well. It was not your fault. Mouses Mommy
I am sorry for your sudden loss. I know how painful that is. They're here and then they're gone. A huge punch to the gut reminding us how fragile life is. Then comes the guilt, the what if's...I am trying really hard to crawl out of this too. I have come along way since January. Here is something that helped me. Hopefully it can help you to. HOPEFULLY IT CAN HELP EVERYONE ELSE TOO! Please read: "Breaking the power of guilt," by Moria Anderson Allen, M.Ed. www.pet-loss.net/guilt.html
Hope all is well. It was not your fault.
Mouses Mommy
Patricia, I am doing so much better. I have yet to have a day without any feelings of guilt. But, today, I had just one, so that's a good sign. I re-read posts here, as well as articles such as the one Mouses Mom sent when the feelings are especially strong. Since Tuesday, I've been able to smile and feel happy when I think and talk about her, and I'm trying to keep that momentum going. When I do feel bad again, I just let myself feel it and try to move on without becoming obsessed.
My husband and I took at short trip to the mountains and have been spending nearly every moment reminiscing about Britney. We stopped at a small chapel and prayed, took a long hike, and did things that are helping us unwind, relax, and hopefully put our feelings into perspective.
Being able to share this process with my husband has been great. When he's sad, I try to comfort him, and that helps me heal as well, and vice-versa.
Thanks for checking up on me. It's so good to know that someone out there cares. Thanks so much!
My husband and I took at short trip to the mountains and have been spending nearly every moment reminiscing about Britney. We stopped at a small chapel and prayed, took a long hike, and did things that are helping us unwind, relax, and hopefully put our feelings into perspective.
Being able to share this process with my husband has been great. When he's sad, I try to comfort him, and that helps me heal as well, and vice-versa.
Thanks for checking up on me. It's so good to know that someone out there cares. Thanks so much!
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