I have been wanting to talk to someone who understands how I feel about my loss and so glad to find this site. My baby Punk was fifteen when she passed. My girl was a fighter and she went through it all her last year of life. After numerous visits to the vet that she went to for ten years, they could not figure out what was wrong with her and they pretty much wrote us off with a "Your cat is probably obssesive compulsive." Crazy. Punk had me up for three months scratching at me and irritable. I took her to another vet who said she had diabetes. I was happy to know but cried like a baby because scard to give the shots. After months of learning how to give the shots and ear pricks for blood sugars, we got it down. Until the dreaded day at the vet when the vet called me in to say that Punk's skin was tearing. The vet wanted me to put her down that day and said she had a few weeks. I cried and never ever had been hit in the heart so bad in my life. I took her home. I took her to a hollistic vet. I told them to knock her out because she was not good at the vets. They didn't. They brought her out to me with a HUGE tear around her neck. She had CUshings. I took her home and took care of the wound for two months. Punk was my life. I had lost everything last year and being single, I relied on her love. She was my only joy in life. She kept getting constipated and the frustration of taking her to vet was heartbreaking because they were all afraid to do anything with her because of the ripping skin.

Her last day May 27th she was trying to go to the bathroom. She couldn't. I called my vet and they said they were too booked to take her in. I made the mistake of going back to the previous vet and to have the man who owned the place look at her. I called in numerous times that morning to warn them that Punk needed a sedative or something to knock her out for them to see her. THey said no. I was desperate. I warned them that she had the ripping skin and the vet looked at her and asked me if I burned her because of her wound that was a scab. He looked at her and ripped her scab right off. I screamed at him and asked him why he did that. He said, "IT's just a scab!"
I told him that she had Cushings and he said cats don't get that. Stupid me, I should have walked out with her.
I let him take her in the back and the vet called me in. I was HORRIFIED! He ripped her skin all off her back!
He yelled at me and said it was inhumane to keep her alive. I did not ask him to mess with her skin at all. I asked him what was wrong with her constipation and he said that she just had a poop stuck and it's all gone. If he only would have done what I told him in the first place. I felt like there was no way she was going to make it after that. Then when he put her to sleep he euthanized her in the heart. I am so traumatized by that day that I have scheduled to see a therapist. I cannot move. I am so heartbroken that I cannot even get her ashes. I am pretty much scared of myself right now. I miss her so much and everyone keeps telling me that she was an animal and that I should be over it by now. Her sister is still with me and someone gave me two kittens. I feel nothing for them because I am greiving so badly. Everything I did to take care of Punk. But I do not regret one day. I am just scared to get emotionally attached again to another animal.

Oh, I am so sorry for what you have been through, and I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like that vet was terribly insensitive. I know how much it hurts to lose your baby. My kitty was my best friend for many years, and losing her was like losing a part of myself. Don't let anyone tell she was "just an animal." She was your love.

Magdalene

Mary,
I wish I could give you a big hug. I am sitting here in shock!! To start, I am very sorry for your loss of Punk. You should never of had to lose your kitty in such a horrific way. I hope you file a complaint. First he insults you by asking you if you burned your Cat, then he insults your intelligence by telling you your Cat doesn't have what you know she has. Cats do get Cushings. I think it is pretty scary that your vet doesn't know that. He should be under review before he hurts another animal. You were not inhumane to keep her alive. You loved her and were trying to do the best for your baby. You nursed her wounds for 2 months. You lovingly took care of her in her diabetic condition. I hope you don't let this vets words haunt you. He is wrong! Why didn't he ask you to put Punk to sleep before he ripped her skin off and cause her unnecessary pain before her death (He is the one who is inhumane)? I can only hope your love for Punk made that moment feel worse than it really was. Hopefully the vet knew what he was doing.

You didn't deserve an ending like that. I am so sorry. Please don't beat yourself up for not leaving the vets that day...deep in your heart you probably knew it was her time...that's why you stayed. You were on autopilot. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to focus on her transition. You had 15 wonderful years with her, hopefully you can focus on those memories instead. It was just her transition. Try to repeat that often. It wasn't her life, it was just her transition. I once read somewhere...that once one crosses over they no longer care how horrific their ending was, because they were now somewhere beautiful. Punk is healthy and whole again. She is off rolling around in the grass, and purring up a storm. She feels wonderful, and she thanks you.

P.S. I went to therapy after I lost my kitty, and I can honestly say this site has been far more helpful in my recovery.
Chris

Oh Mary I wish I could hug you too {{{HUGS}}}, I am so so so SORRY for the trauma you and your Punk went thru. I'm horrified to think that this can happen especially @ the vets.
I think you are amazing for having the guts to share with us here, you are very practical by the sounds of it, in refereence to seeing a therapist....you need to!!!!!
the fact that you recognize that you are scared of yourself is a truly wonderful gift to have, to be able to admit it and face it & deal with it, you will get thru this.
I will pray for you as you need it, your Punk is finally @ peace & now it's your turn. Your fur companions that are with you now love you just as you are & they will love you just the same when you are feeling better. It's a big step to take opening your heart up when you hve suffered so much, it sounds to me as if you are doing all the right things.
Spend as much time here as you need there is heaps of stuff to read and lots to shed tears over and we all know that your Punk was not just an animal but part of you!!
and when you lose that it's devastating and it can take ages and ages to re adjust.
You will make it, all of us here can testify to that, though I know it may not seem like it, but you will.
I care that you are hurting.
Go gently & you will find peace
{{{HUGS}}} from
elaine

Mary,

That was a horrible story. I am so sorry that you had such awful experiences with vets and am so sorry for your loss of Punk.

I am sorry your friends are not as sensitive as they should be about your terrible loss. I am glad you are seeking therapy. You definitely need to talk to people who can understand your grief.

Perhaps additional kittens were not a good idea at this time? Although I am sure the gift giver was trying to help, it was a bit of an insensitive gift.

Also, maybe you could have a friend pick up the cremains for you? I know how hard that is.

I know how the last moments stick with you. If you can, try to visualize punk with perfect skin and silky fur. She has laser lights and balls of string and mice to play with. When she is tired of playing, she has the warmest softest lap to lay in and the person with that lap knows her favorite places to be scritched and stroked. Think of her at the Rainbow Bridge, happy and healthy and whole.

I really am sorry for your loss.
--Jennifer

Ugh....so sorry to hear this story about Punk. What a cute name! I just lost my cat this week so I know how terrible the pain is, and then to have to deal with a wacko vet would make it even worse. Keep your spirits up and remember Punk in her healthy and strong days. I think that's what they would want us to do.

Sheila