I joined this website the other day when my ferret passed away.If you don'y know my story, Kismet was happy and playing three days ago before I went to work. When I got home I went to get him out of his cage and he had died. I was freaked out because it was such a shock. The vet said it looked like he had a tomor on his spleen that ruptured and there was nothing I could have done to help him. I've felt so bad becuase I wasn't with him when he passed like with my other animals and I was afraid he may have thought I neglected him because a month ago I had to put my oldest schnauzer to sleep and I 've been having to spend alot of time taking care of her. I moved his cage because I couldn't look at it but the table where it was looked so bare so I framed 2 pictures of him and put there. This morning I woke up very early because I couldn't sleep and noticed one of the pictures was turned at a different angle. I thought maybe it was a sign or I was losing my mind. I laid back down but couldn't go back to sleep and got back up and the same thing happened with the other picture. Ive been hoping for a sign because I've been so distraught i just want to die but I can't do that because my other animals need me. Most of them are rescues who have already been abandoned and I can't do that to them too. I work at a pet boarding facility taking care of special needs dogs and since April we've lost 4 dogs and I was extremely close to them and right now I feel like I'm drowning in grief. Yesterday at work we spread one of the dogs ashes and it was all I could do not to collapse. I'm sorry if I'm rambling I just felt the need to get all this out.

dear kismets mom, i am so sorry for your loss. i know the pain that you are going thru and everything else that comes with it. please be kind to yourself now and dont let the guilt eat you up. i believe that kismet knew how much you loved him even if you werent there. you gave him a wonderful life. maybe he passed while you werent there so he could spare you pain that he knew you were already going thru. you are an amazing person. to work with special needs dogs is amazing. i believe you are a gift from heaven, sent here to care for those that need so much love. i know what it feels like to to hurt so bad but you are right; your other animals need you. they would be lost without you. and kismet and the others that have passed recently would want you to keep going. they are looking down at you now and taking care of you. they are your new angels. i will pray for you, for strength and for peace. please come here often and keep writing. its so very healing.

youre in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia

Kismet's mom if the moving of the pictures brought you comfort, then take it.....you need it right now....what an amazing person you are to care for these special animals, thankyou from the bottom of my heart for the job you do....it's ppl like you who make a hug difference in this world and all your grief as awful as it is, is well founded because of your special gift.....i hope that by coming here we can all help you thru this traumatic time....you deserve the comfort.....
{{{HUGS}}} to help you thru.
elaine

I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes it's hard to believe the sun can still rise when our babies are gone, isn't it? But I'm sure your little one knew you loved him. Don't feel guilty for not being there when the time came. You had no way to know it would be that day. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Magdalene