Oh..this is tough! I bought my sweet baby Chloe 17 years ago and lost her yesterday. In all of those years she was never sick. Yesterday during the day she was her normal self, still acting like a kitten. I left for a awhile and came home and noticed she had thrown up a hair ball..which is not uncommon. I was eating dinner and she came over to see if I would share. After dinner I went to change my clothes and heard a noise and then her cry. She was in the bedroom also so I went to her to see if she was hurt. She cried one more time and then she was gone. I always thought that she would eventually get ill and I would have to make the decision to put her down. I never thought that it would happen so fast and unexpectedly. The vet said that her little heart must have just stopped. For all of those years..it was just me and Chloe. I am not married and did not have any children. She was my first pet...and my best friend. The tears have not stopped and I cannot sleep. I am just sitting here wrapped in the blanket that I took her to the vet in. I just want to feel close to her. Since she was a baby, she always nursed on my arm when she was getting sleepy. She did this up until she passed. Alot of people around me do not understand that she was more than just a 'pet' to me, and are telling me to get another one to get my mind off of her. The problem is I don't want to try to replace her. I know that I will get another...but it is too soon. I am grateful that she did not suffer, but my heart is just broken. I don't know how to feel ok with this. She is everywhere in the house. Everytime I go near my bedroom I just break down. I feel so lost without her. If anyone reads this..thank you for you time in letting me share my feelings. I lost my job last November after 24 years (still have not found another), broke my ankle in 3 places in April and am still in a cast, and now I lose Chloe. I have to say, this is the worst of it all. When I took her to the vet yesterday, it was so hard to say goodbye. I kept petting and kissing her and getting up to leave but kept going back. I did not want to leave her there. I am having her cremated so at least I will be able to bring her home soon. If anyone has any advise to help get me through this awful time..I would really appreciate it. I can't try and shove my feelings under the carpet and I know that I need to grieve. I just feel like it will not get any easier, although I know that it will. I miss her more than I can say and love her so much.

Dear Cheryl,
I am sooooo sorry and I KNOW how you feel!
I also lost my dog unexpectedly and I am still not over it...I still feel the way you do.
Some days are harder and some days are good because it has been about two months now but still.
When it happened I was in denial and I just wished so badly that it was just a big nightmare...and that I would
wake up. I couldn't believe that that would happen and sometimes even now, I feel that way.
I also have an old blanket that I keep and other things....I recommend being there for the cremation, I was there so I knew for sure that it was Ceaser's ashes that I brought home. I also could have one more chance to see him before he went in and you can do that as well.
I recommend that you start a scrapbook for your kitty that really helps. i work on it everyday and I am taking as much time as possible
because every time I work on it...I remember the good times.
She will be there whenever you work on it....her soul is there with you but you will really feel that when you work on the book
Well....It takes time and I will encourage writing and such...
Take care and hugs....
you are not alone!

Cheryl,
I know how you feel, somewhat. I had to put my cat of 16 years down last Friday. Complications of diabetes. I sleep with the blanket he went to the vet in. I too, would like to just lie in bed and cry, or just sleep and wake up in six months to see if I feel better and can remember without crying. But I can't. I have a life and a kid and three other kitties and a dog to take care of. And, I guess, I am lucky to still have my job as I read some on the site that don't. I had a problem leaving Bailey at the crematorium. I couldn't wait to get his ashes back and put them next to my other cat that died 13 yrs ago in the curio cabinet. I have their urns, pictures of them, and I got a pawprint from Bailey too. I did ask my husband to watch my kid last night because I just needed some time to be alone and just bawl. Luckily, about a month ago, I got some video of Bailey on the lease outside in the yard. I watched that last night. My one orange kitty, Louie, would not leave my side last night. Some animals are more keen on emotions. I don't know how many people do this, but about five years ago, besides just a scrapbook which I have of my animals, I started a diary where I just write about them. I read when Bailey was well, before he got heart problems and chronic pancreatitis, where he liked to stick his tail in the bath water when I was taking a bath like he was fishing. And then, I also wrote about how he got sick, and I plan, when I have the courage to, write about when he had to be put down.
Cheryl, I wish you luck. There are people out there who think of animals as more than just possessions, of more than just pets, but of members of your family. You may have to look places like here to find them, but we are here. I feel your pain. It's OK to cry, to bawl, to wail. I do. And I probably will for awhile. And I don't think really, you ever feel whole again after someone you love leaves you. A little piece of you dies too. You just go on.

Boy do I know how you feel! I lost my 17+ year old Flossie last October and it is so difficult having them that long and all of a sudden they are gone. Flossie was not "all of a sudden" but yet she was here one day and gone the next. I did have lots of time to "prepare". Now that was the difficult part for me.

I think it is so wonderful to have this site (and others) that people can talk about their loss as well as all the things that made their precious ones so special to them and know that everyone here understands. Many people you come in daily contact do not understand the bond we had or why the loss is so personal to each of us.

This is not an easy road you are traveling now. I knew my trip would be tough but we do have a dog and cat to divert some of the grief for me. They have in no way replaced my Flossie but they do make me smile at all the things they do that just melt your heart even though I still miss her terribly.

Having the other bad things happening to you during this time makes your loss even more difficult as you do not have her physically there to get you through each day. But her spirit is there so take comfort in remembering the wonderful years she was there for you. Most of all, remember that you also were there for her! Come here often as there is much support and no one judges how you feel, how long it should take or tells you to "just get another one.... it was just a cat!" We all know she was not just a cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ginger

im so sorry for your loss. and im so sorry you are going thru a really hard time with your job loss etc. i lost fred my cat of 14 years to complications of diabetes about four months ago. i thought i would have him forever and fourteen years was too soon. in my life boyfriends come and go but our furry friends have been our constant companion. they are the ones that truly love us unconditionally, that never leave our side and that love us for who we are. so when we lose them they take a big piece of our heart with them. its so hard. even four months later i have really bad days. but when i do, i try and remember some of my favorite memories and of course ill cry or ill shut my eyes real tight and image him in my arms. its just so hard! i saved his ashes and i have a little memorial for him on the bookshelf. that always makes me feel better and right next to my bed is a candle that i will never ever throw away because its the one i light for him. its not easy but if you can, try and imagine him in a wonderful place where he can run free and doesnt have any pain. i too slept with his toys. in fact i still do. although i have a little puppy lucy now that has helped me heal so much, but she will never replace my fred. take all the time you need to grieve Like ginger so wonderfully said 'But her spirit is there so take comfort in remembering the wonderful years she was there for you. Most of all, remember that you also were there for her! Come here often as there is much support and no one judges how you feel" you are not alone we are here for you

you are in my thoughts and prayers
patricia

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through. Yesterday I lost my ferret unexpectedly. It's important to let your emotions out cry, scream, do whatever you feel like doing. It's not good holding it in. I'm new here and I came here looking for support also. Even though our furkids are no longer physically with us I like to think they are watching over us and know how much we love them. I will be thinking of you.

Please could you post again to let us know if you are alright?

I have read your story and am a little worried that you have not posted in a while because I know how devastated you are.

Come back and talk to us. We all understand and sympathise here.

hope you are ok cheryl24.
{{{HUGS}}} to help you with the shock of your sudden loss.
elaine

Im so sorry ,when our pets pass the pain can seem overwhelming ,its very hard how so many things remind us of them after they leave ,i know how hard when i look around it just seems so different now since my jeannie passed .please give your self time over it no matter how much time ,knowing that they are in a better place now watching over us ,i hope that comming here can help you feel better ,we all know how this feels thats why we come to talk about it .please be well and take care again;hope it goes ok and you begin to feel better as the time goes on