I am not completely positive, but this may have been the site that I used after my first cat, Max, was poisoned and had to be put down. I was devasted, and so young. Now, 13 years later, here I am again after having to put down my Bailey. Bailey was just supposed to be a playmate for Max. But, he turned out to be the animal I have felt the deepest connection with. I was reading some posts here and the difference is, they do love you unconditionally. That was so true. Just looking into his eyes made me feel better when I was feeling down. Now, mind you, I do, including Bailey, have four cats and a dog, so you would think, ah, you still have three more cats, what are you whining about? But no, sometimes that bond you have is so special, so spiritual, that you can't explain it. And although my sister is helping me out, I feel so alone. My son doesn't understand. He is only 7. My husband couldn't stand Bailey since towards the end he had so many issues and would puke and throw up and sometimes pee on his clothes he left on the floor. He is completely no help at all. It's like there is a gaping hole and remembering is supposed to help, and I don't want to hide all my grief inside like I did when my dad was killed. It always comes out eventually. I want to feel the grief. I want to be able to remember and smile someday. Someday. Right now, it is just bouts of random crying. It hasn't even been a week, so I guess that is normal. I know my other animals know something is wrong, and they are staying by me more than they normally do. But Bailey, he was a snuggler. Used to, long time ago, sleep on my pillow, on my hair, or more recently, right next to me in bed, with my arm over him. God, I miss him.

im so sorry! it is truly one of the hardest decisions that we have to make. the decision that you made was out of love. and bailey knows that. i understand about that connection. two years ago i was so happy with my little cats fred and riley. both were rescues, riley literally pulled out from underneath a car. at the time i had them for twelve years. they were my babies, my heart. but there was a special connection that i felt with riley. maybe it was because he was so cuddly. he loved to get u'neath the covers and lay close to me at night. he loved to be picked up and held and yet he was my little trouble maker. fred on the other had, although just a little doll, didnt like to be held, didnt like to sleep close to me and was just a bit distant. on the day that i was moving. the very same day, my riley passed away. then i had to come home and wait for the movers. needless to say i was a wreck. fred and i made it to our new place and i dont know how it happened. perhaps we were so heartbroken but him and i became inseperable. the love i already had for him just doubled and tripled. he was diagnosed with diabetes not too long after and passed awy from complications about four months ago. my heart broke again especially when we had bonded so. give your other little cats extra love now. they are grieving just as much as you do and you may find that they in turn will help you heal, like my fred helped me get thru one of the toughest times. i wish i could give you a big hug in person but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. i know the pain you are going thru. please keep writing as it is very healing. it helped me get thru freds passing when i thought my world was coming to an end. you are not alone!
patricia

I am so sorry you are hurting so much.I know how you feel.I lost my kitty boy Sox three years ago to kidney failure.We had the same special connection that you had with your baby.It never goes away but it does get better with time.You'll learn to draw on your memories of him when your feeling sad and lonely.That sucks that you don't have anyone who understands what your going thur.I wish your husband would be more understanding.Don't be too hard on him,he's the one who missed out on the love of a beautiful animal.I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope it gets better for you soon.I care,and so do lots of other pet lovers on this site. Sincerely,Renee (Sox's Mom)

Dear Bailey88's mom I am sorry for your loss.
it's hard when you don't get support from those closest to you.
I found that watching my kids getting upset over the loss of Buddy was a real heart wrencher, we made it thru tho, just like you will.
{{{HUGS}}}
elaine