QUOTE (jasonsmom @ Jul 17 2009, 09:22 PM)

It doesn;t get easier for a long time, unfortunately. Especially when it is an unexpected thing. When you know they are sick, you are semi-prepared (but not really). When it is a total surprise, it is a shock to the system. Plus there is always the guolt factor either way. I am feeling guilty for scheduling the euthanasia of my cat, who still shows some interest in life, despite the dire prognosis of the vet.
Do the scrap book It really does help. They live on in our memories. Record it before you forget the little details............
Jasonsmom,
Thank you for saying what you did. I really felt that my boys sudden illness didn't even allow me to think about living without him. His last vet visit became his final vet visit. I thank God that I did not take him to the APA here. I watched when a friend had to have a cat euthanized. The woman had a leather apron & leather gauntlets on. It was violent, and my friend could only watch thru the glass. My boy's last vet first gave him a sedative. I had about ten minutes more with him, to comfort him & tell him how much I loved him. Then they shaved a leg, and the barbituates were injected. I stood there, stroking him, trying to offer some kind of comfort.
I loved your idea about the scrapbook. I had created a silly website for the boy, and that has given me something to work on while all of the details are so fresh in my mind. I'm blessed to have numerous other hobbies that also help. Please don't take offense, but I hope you're wrong about grieving taking a long time. Feels like my heart has been cut in two. I don't really understand how the rest of you have survived this. Some days it just feels so hard to continue.
Regards,
Albert