My dog, Isabelle died suddenly. I got her when she was only 7 weeks old. The first night she slept in a box by my bed and was crying. I picked her up and put her on my bed and she curled up next to me and stopped crying. I woke up and looked at her and she was laying with her head on my pillow looking at me and when I looked at her, her tail started wagging. I loved her so much already. From that moment on we had the strongest bond ever. I loved her beyond reason. We had the best time together. She could read my mind. She would wait for me after school. We shared everything. She was intelligent and full of love. When she was less than a year old, I was called down to the office at school. My dad came and got me and told me Isabelle had been hit by a car. I couldn't wait to get home, I just wanted to see her. The first thing I said when I got out of the car "Where is she?" I needed to be with her. When I saw her lying in the back of my dad's truck, the anguish was unbearable. I felt I had died too. I held her and sobbed. I layed with her in her grave and wanted to be buried with her too. To this day, I miss her so much. The grief still burns me. I will never love anything that deeply or share such a special bond. I miss her so much. What can I do? I just wait to see her again.

I can relate to what you're going through. I've been there myself. I've lost animals and months, even years after the fact I still feel the same pain. Time is usually a great healer, but it doesn't always play out that way. We don't suddenly recover and "get over" things like that. They just become part of us. Sometimes living is the hard part of losing a friend. Their pain is over, but for us it isn't. We have to keep going, but that's not easy. A long, long time ago I had to have(or rather the decision was made for me) to euthanize a beloved cat. I still miss him today, and the day doesn't go by that I don't think about him. Our furkids give us such unconditional love and ask for so little in return. Losing them is hell, and going on is sheer torture. By coming here you've taken a big step in the right direction. Remember, what you're feeling is normal, you've lost your best friend, and it hurts. There are no magic words I can say to make your pain disappear, but you're not alone. We're all dealing with the same thing here, and we're here for you. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Remember. You are not alone. And what you're going thru is perfectly normal.

Imarie I am so sorry for your loss, what a wonderful thing you did to be with your Isabelle one last time & I'm glad your Dad got you out of school what a thoughtful thing he did for you. It must hve been obvious that you & your Isabelle had such a special bond.
My heart aches for you, for your loss & your feeling of "lostness", the first few days (even weeks) are just as RobberMofford said 'hell', cry lots, scream if you hve to & then cry some more. Don't bottle all these feelings up, let 'em out it is the only way to get thru & get thru this you will (even tho right now I'm sure it doesn't feel like it), we all understand & share your pain. Come here & talk to us and share with us how you are feeling it will help you, it certainly did for me.
You are in my thoughts & prayers.
elaine {{{HUGS}}}

Thanks everyone. She died a long time ago. It just still hurts so bad because she was just a puppy. She was taken from me way too soon. I was her everything, and she was my everything. I have just been thinking lately that if she had lived, she would still be here today, and would have been with me all this time, through high school and college, and now. She would be old but we would have had so much more time together. Also still I recall the anguish I felt seeing her in that truck. It was utter despair and helplessness.

yes the despair & helplessness takes a long time to process & intergrate in to our lives.
thank you for sharing your feelings with us.
elaine

Oh, sweetie. I know that feeling of wanting to be buried with her. That feeling that you just can't live without her. It's been over three years since my Eileen died, and I still cry, and just ache to hold her. I just want one more time with her. But you know what, you will see your baby again someday. She'll be there waiting for you when it's time. And until then, she'll be loving you from afar.

Magdalene

I feel your pain and can totally relate. My baby Duke was hit by a car this past Friday and died instantly. My husband and two daughters were home when it happen, but I was at work. I did not believe the phone call and kept hoping and praying that it was a mistake. I know my family loves Duke also, but I am his mother and the pain I feel is so deep. He slept next to me every night from the time we got him at 8 weeks. I woke up with him every morning and we were able to have private time before everybody else woke up. I rubbed is neck and his belly, brushed him, and took him outside for our morning walk. He would be in the window every evening waiting for me to get out of the car and come into the house. He jumped up on me a greeted me and waited for his good boy snack. He was my best friend and I ache for him. People who don't have pets really don't understand the grief and guilt you feel over your loss. He was only 9 months old and I feel like I didn't do my job as a mother and protect him. My husband buried him in the backyard and I keep looking out the window at his grave feeling lost. I wake up in tears every morning and go to bed in tears every night. I know time heals all wounds and eventually it will get better but right now it hurts so bad!

yes, she will be there waiting.

like i've said before, the "people" i wanna see the most when i die are my dogs.

just like dukesmom said, people who haven't loved a dog don't know beans about losing one. that's why a site like this is great. we all truly understand each other's pain. and it's a REAL pain, because our dogs meant to much to us.

Dukesmom I am sorry for your loss.
Strange how when you become a mum you don't realise that it's for all sorts of creatures. As a mum I can relate to feeling like you haven't done your job in protecting all those under your care.
I am also sorry that you where away when he died, though as you know even if you were there the out come would possibly hve been the same.
Go gently and the tears hve to stop eventually, dont they?
elaine