Click to view attachmentI lost my beautiful pup shadow after a short 6 weeks.This doesnt sound like very long but i was so in love with him. He was a blue staffy and I bought him from a breeder at 6 months old.He didnt seem to know what to do with humans when he first arrived and wouldnt really let me pat him. After a few days he started to warm to me and my kids, and before long you wouldnt guess he was the same dog.My girls adored him and so did I, probably tooo much as he started to develop separation anxiety when I was gone. He was an angel in every other way, didnt bark at other dogs played great with the kids, had a real loving personality, but started to jump the fence to follow me when I had to go out. I tried giving him bones and toys to distract him but it didnt help so my partner put up an electric fence but that didnt work so my only other option was to build a higher fence. I was halfway through doing this, and had to put shadow on a chain when I had to go out so he wouldnt end up on the road. I had him on a long run and thought I had moved everything out of his way that he could be tangled on, but I had overlooked the boat.I am writing in the hope that others will not make the same mistake as I did...PLEASE BE CAREFUL IF YOU MUST USE A CHAIN!!!! I came home on Wednesday to find my beautiful shadow hanging from the boat. He had managed to just make it up to the boat, jump off and got the chain tangled where the rope ties on. I feel so guilty and angry at myself,I should have checked but it didnt occur to me that he could reach the boat.It seems so unfair!! If the chain had been a little shorter he could have got back up on the boat, a little longer and he could have touched the ground..It would have only taken us another week and the fence was done and he wouldnt have been on that wretched chain!!! All I can think of is that he would have suffered for so long and if I was there he wouldnt have been on the chain...he was so loyal and loving.... I feel like I killed him as I should have checked if he could reach, I havent cried so hard ever. I dont think I deserved to own him. He was an angel and went back to heaven. I dont expect anyone to tell me it wasnt my fault, I just thought if I could stop this happening to anyone else...that it wasnt a total waste of an amazing animal.
I will never forget you shadow, you were so special.

He looks like a real sweetheart, I can feel your pain through your words. I want to express my condolonces to all of your family. God bless you all. You will be in my prayers. Try to stay strong.

I am so sorry for the trauma you are going thru, i cannot offer anything to ease the pain, I wish I cld. PLEASE! PLEASE! go easy on the guilt, I know it's not easy, but accidents happen ALL the time, with ppl as well as our fur companions. I wish I had the right words for you but I don't, please believe me when I say I do NOT blame you,
it was an accident. An accident is just that something unexpected, unplanned even the best laid plains are susceptable to going astray.
Thank you for taking the time to write & share you warning. It is appreciated, you are very welcome here, we do not blame we only want to support each other thru our losses.
please check in whenever you can.
elaine

Thankyou for your warm responses, this is a great site , just reading everyone elses stories helps somehow.

I'm so sorry for your loss of precious fur child Shadow. Such a darling, sweet Angel.

Please accept my deepest condolences. You and Shadow are in my thoughts and prayers.

thinking of you SHADOW {{{HUGS}}}

Thankyou so much, that is a lovely poem, I dreamnt last night that shadow didnt really die but we lloked down the back and his grave was still there, we couldnt work out how this could be.....maybe it was him trying to tell me that his spirit is still alive.I am missing him so much.

i read your story this morning but didnt know what to say to make you feel bettter, even if it was just a little. but all day it has nagged at me to write to you. im so very sorry this happened to you. but elaine (petmum) said it best and so elequently. it wasnt your fault. please stop thinking that. accidents do happen to all of us. just the other day, my little lucy whom i adore and have only had for about four months got away from me and ran across busy streets and a few blocks over. the guilt i felt for days was tremendous. she was ok but i kept thinking what if, what if. i just dont know what i would have done if she gotten hurt or worse. i know that your little shadow would not want you to be killing yourself with guilt. youre so right, hes your angel now. hes giving you angel hugs from up above and he is not blaming you so why are you? i know youre heart is shattered. you miss your beautiful shadow but know that hes ok now and hes looking after you. im sorry i dont have the magical words to take the pain away but please keep writing and let us be there for you.

you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia

Thankyou all for being so caring, every time I read a reply it makes me sad and comforted at the same time, it helps to know that other people feel just as atttached to their animals and that everyone on here has experienced a similar loss. I lost my Mum 4 years ago, she went missing(presumed met with foul play) and it has taken me this long to deal with the pain of that, now I dont deal with death or loss very well, I hate that we can have someone we love taken from us so cruelly without warning. I know that I need time to grieve the loss of shadow and I will give myself the time to do that, however if there is one thing Ive learnt in the last 4 years its to not stop trying and even though shadows death has brought me a lot of pain, he brought me a great amount of joy while he was here with me.I refuse to give up on the joy that comes with having a dog companion, down the track I will welcome another doggie into our lives... I know shadow would have wanted this. I will not be beaten by this. I think to give up on experiencing love is to give up on life.

i coudnt have said it better myself. i truly admire your strength. youve been dealt some not so good cards and yet you have such amazing fortitude and wonderful positive outlook amidst your grief. when you are ready, i know that your shadow will send you a new little one to make you smile again.
big hugs! and thank you for your wonderful words. keep writing. we are here for you.
patricia

I'm so impressed with your strength, sometimes you don't realise how strong you are. As Patricia said you've been dealt some very rough cards to deal with.Thank you for sharing you feelings, it truly does give strength to others.
I'm sure u r right in that your dream of Shadow was to let u know he doesn't blame you for what happened, & he truly is alive & well in the spiritual realm.
{{{HUGS}}}
elaine