on tuesday evening i had to put my precious little crystal to sleep.she was a 16 and a half year old cat. im 39 years old but my mother brought her to the vet for me because i couldnt do it..i said my long goodbye to her all day tuesday.holding hugging and kissing her and telling her how much i loved her. it started in january when she lost her appititite and was sleeping a lot. the vet took blood and she had a thyroid problem.thats why she was drinking a lot too. put her on meds and worked for a few months. then her back legs started giving out from time to time and it looked like she had arthritis. she never fell over but walked off sideways.her heart rate was up too so she was put on meds for that. for the past two weeks she really failed. wasnt eating much,drinking a lot,starring off in the distance.then sunday she would eat and throw up.and had a hard time getting up.so we talked to our vet and decided it was time.well unknown to us he said her skin was turning yellow so she probably was in the final stages of liver cancer. so we put her down to spare her any more pain.i cannot get over this.ive been crying since tuesday and cant stop. i didnt eat for two days and cant sleep.ive never been in this much pain. she was my world.there when i woke up,there when i came home. in bad times would sit on my lap and purr. and when i was sad she would lick my face. she came running when you called her name.i always said she was like a little puppy dog.when she laid beside me in bed she would put her paw over my arm.she was the sweetest thing ive ever known.she was my very best friend and i dont know how to cope.im in pain.i look at her picture and plead for her to come back...but i know i did the right thing. i couldnt watch her be torn down to skin and bones. she already was loosing so much weight.this was the hardest thing ive ever had to do...im so lonely now..i love you crystal....R.I.P.

How we love our dear friends and how painful it is when their time comes.

I have had two kitties pass away in 9 months, first Molly Malone in September and then Mr X just a few days ago. Molly had thyroid problems and was able to stay with me for 2.5 years after her diagnosis. Mr X had 2 types of cancer and was gone in a matter of months. I got them both in 1997 when they were kittens. What a lot of history we shared. So impossible to think that they are truly gone.

Some days I just cry and cry and others I am more able to go about my routine. There is no cure for this deep loss. We must participate in it and allow ourselves to honor these feelings which are an expression of love for our pets. Not an easy time. You will find many others here who know that all too well.

Come back and chat some more, tell us all about your friend, we share the same sense of shock and deep loss. We are here to listen and give you support.

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day for you.

J

jan Eeee,
thanks so much for posting and sharing your story. im very sorry for your loss as well...i ate tonight some after 2 days but not ready to sleep in the bed yet.that was her place...its just so hard looking around and expecting her to come from around the corner. i hope the pain will go away some with time but ill never have her leave my heart.im thankful for the time we did have together but it doesnt make it any easier,,,im just hoping i can sleep at some point. again i thank you so very much!

Dear Scottie,
I'm so sorry for your loss, the next thing I say is, breathe out, then in.......u need to remind yourself to do this otherwise you will most likely not realise you are holding your breathe a lot....happened to me....still happens.....23days ago...i was where you are now....the pain is so intense...your loss fills your whole world....you wont eat, you wont sleep @ first...but then you will, remember BREATHE OUT, THEN IN.......get thru the nxt 1hour, then the nxt......it's how I coped.....it's just such an intense time & it takes quite some time for us to process that when we are looking where they have always been (it seems like it doesn't) that they aren't there, you think well where are they then?....then it all comes back & the pain comes back with such ferocity that you simply cant breathe!!!! You just want to curl up in a ball & just scream for the pain to go away......PLEASE STOP!!!!!! BREATHE OUT....you know how to do that......
{{{HUGS}}} all the way from australia to help you during this awful time......
keep sharing with us if you can....
May Peace come to you
elaine

petmum, thanks so much for taking the time to write to me.i know what you are talking about.when i cry sometimes i cant catch my breath.its awful...its after midnight here and looks like another sleepless night..but im trying. im trying to tell myself that my little friend would not want me to be upset all the time.im just in so much denial. im expecting her to come out of hiding and start playing with me.putting some pictures of her around is helping a bit as im talking to her.i just dont know how to deal with my emotions. but im going to do what you say about breathing in and out. because i do catch myself holding my breath. im so glad i can at least talk to people who know what im going through...god bless you....scott

PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS. I'M TYPING WITH ONE HAND AND IT'S EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...

DEAREST SCOTTIE, I'M SO TERRIBLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. PLEASE ACCEPT MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES. I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR YOUR HEART BREAKING. TRULY I CAN. WHAT A PRECIOUS ANGEL FUR KID YOUR CRYSTAL IS, TOO. IT'S SO CLEAR TO SEE HOW VERY LOVED SHE IS. I ALSO WENT DAYS WITHOUT SLEEPING OR EATING WHEN MY LOSS OCCURRED AS WELL AS SCREAMING AND CRYING INCONSOLABLY SO I DO GREATLY EMPATHIZE WITH YOUR GAWD AWFUL PAIN. GRIEF, LONELINESS, VOID AND DEVASTATION. OH, HOW I WISH I COULD WAVE A MAGIC WAND TO TAKE AWAY YOUR PAIN, DEAR ONE.

TIME. IT TAKES TIME. PERHAPS A FEW WEEKS, MONTHS OR EVEN YEARS. BUT, EVENTUALLY OUR PAIN BECOMES MORE BEARABLE AND HOPEFULLY THERE WILL COME THAT ONE DAY WHEN YOU FIND THAT PRECIOUS, LOVING AND HAPPY MEMORIES WILL REPLACE THE VOID YOU'RE NOW EXPERIENCING INSTEAD OF ONLY SERVING AS HURTFUL REMINDERS.

PLEASE TRY TO REMEMBER THAT YOUR SWEET BABY CRYSTAL WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF YOU AND YOU A PART OF HER. AS YOU CARRY HER HEART IN YOUR HEART, SHE CARRIES YOUR HEART IN HERS, TOO ...


PLEASE COME BACK AND TALK AS OFTEN AS YOU'RE ABLE BE IT ANY TIME DAY OR NIGHT. IT'S BY CARING AND SHARING THAT WE GET THROUGH THIS MOST DIFFICULT TIME. PLEASE ALSO KNOW THAT YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS FUR BABY ANGEL CRYSTAL ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I WING MANY LOVING ANGELS TO SOOTHE AND GENTLY GUIDE AND HELP YOU EVENTUALLY FIND THAT HEALING PATH.

MANY COMFORTING HUGS AND I WISH YOU PEACE!!!

Always,
Dottie, xoxoxox

Dear Scottie
It is hard...I am very sorry for your loss.
I had 7 cats and I know how they can develop such unique personalities.
Very sorry is all I can say.....
Hope it gets better, starting a scrapbook or writing about your life together helps, not only about the animal but it also helps you do an inventory on your life and what you were going through during those years ...it is very therapeutic. Everytime you do that..your cat will be visiting you in soul form.

Dear Scottie
It is hard...I am very sorry for your loss.
I had 7 cats and I know how they can develop such unique personalities.
Very sorry is all I can say.....
Hope it gets better, starting a scrapbook or writing about your life together helps, not only about the animal but it also helps you do an inventory on your life and what you were going through during those years ...it is very therapeutic. Everytime you do that..your cat will be visiting you in soul form.

Scottie,
eventually you will sleep, as long as u aren't driving or doing something that needs your full attention, u gotta do wot ever you gotta do to get thru the nxt hour.
I couldn't look @ Buddy's picture, tho I was glad the kids insisted I didn't touch his things or move them or throw them away, somehow it helped. Only 2 days ago I was out side holding his old smelly collar to my nose & inhaling his unique doggie smell & just sobbing my heart out. I so hated that waiting to catch a glimpse of him, like I always did, gosh how I hated that, i just kept saying to myself, breathe!!!!!!. Our fur companions are ok with our grief, they care because we cared for them. All I could say when I was in my raw grief just like you was "this sux", I'm a mum to 3 kids and over 40 & yet that's all I cld say for days.... "well this sux!!!!" You just gotta do & feel what you feel till it changes, there is no time limit on this awful rollercoaster ride of loss.....just know that u r oh so normal to feel what you are feeling, u gotta let it out, holding your grief in will not help....I'm still suffering physical symptoms due to Buddy's loss, I hate it but I'm letting it happen & I'm trying to embrace it (secretly in the hope the whole pain thing will go away quicker that way)
{{{HUG}}}
{{{HUG}}}
Be gentle to & kind to yourself
elaine

thank you all so much for your help...it is really helping me...i did sleep some last night buts its waking u that is very hard..im looking for her to be by my side.i am talking to her which seems to help and i can still hear the little noises she made...this is so much pain. i miss her so much. its the first sunny day here since she passed and there is a sunny spot on the floor and im looking for her to be laying in it...she followed the sun around the house all day.it was so cute.i just miss my friend....

My sympathies too...know how this feels.
When you lose someone so precious and so much a part of your life it's like a big chunk gets ripped out of your heart. Always remember that you gave her the best life possible and that she was so happy. The pain does start to recede eventually and that you have to keep going. I'm still weepy over Hobbes...it's been only three months...but the physical pain has started to go away.


But it's fricking hard on a body.

((Hugs))Cathy

thank you cathy....yes it is hard on the body..i never knew the pain id be in..headaches,pit in my stomach...just very weak in general...ive always been a very upbeat guy with a smile on my face...the only time i smile now is when i think of crystal. she was so loved. i know she had a wonderful life and was very lucky health wise until about 5 months ago.i so looked forward to coming home everyday because i knew she would be there waiting for me..it was one of lifes joys. now there is nothing to look forward to. its going to be a long time till i smile again.........

Scottie,

I am so sorry for your pain and loss of your baby. It's been 28 days since my sheltie dog, Sammie passed away and she was 3 1/2 years old. Six months ago I had to put my cat of 8 years, Lewis to sleep. I still have his brother Clark. There are no words to describe the pain. My Sammie was my world, my best friend, companion, cuddler, everything. I have a husband and three kids but it was different. I've never been one to open up completely to anyone but the moment I laid eyes on Sammie as a puppy I fell into a love I've never know before. And she loved me back the same way. It isn't like the love we have for our people it's better. And that's why it hurts so freakin much when they leave us. Everything you are feeling is normal and will be hard on you. It's the grieving process. I thought I was losing my mind, literally. I cried the first week so hard, I hyperventilated, threw up, passed out and didn't eat or sleep much at all. I crawled around the floor just trying to smell her scent where she laid. My husband truly thought I was having a nervous breakdown. That week was a complete blur. The second week was slightly better. I could eat and with the help of Ambien could sleep again (with Sammie's collar under my pillow). This site is the only thing that truly helped me cope. My friend and family love me but they couldn't understand the depth of my pain because although they loved Sammie girl they didn't have the same bond with her as I did. Co-workers and clients did NOT understand at all and made some snide comments. And in my mood I wanted to knock their block off. The third week was a mission for me to honor her and get my mind on something. I was having a major time thinking clearly and accomplishing anything. Just showering seemed a trying task. Here's what I did. I started a journal. I actually write letters to Sammie. Sometimes I tell her what I'm feeling or just what I'm doing. Then I printed out every picture I've ever taken of her and I am making a scrapbook of her life. I also made a shadow box for my office with her pictures, a piece of her fur, paw print and a copy of the rainbow bridge. My husband made her a casket and we buried her in the backyard at our house. I orderd her a headstone that has her picture and name engraved in it. Very, very cool and I made her a pretty little resting spot. I guess that was my way of letting her know somehow how much I love and miss her. It truly helped me and still does help me everyday. I still cry almost everyday but not the sobs that take my breath away. I also read a book entitled "All Pets Go to Heaven". Besides the first 40 pages it was awesome and gave me a really cool feeling and sense of peace knowing she can visit me in this Earth plane and that she is so happy now. She know I am sad and she understands that my tears are just my way of healing and I have to do that. She knows this because God explained it. That's my belief and it gives me a lot of comfort. Keep writing, venting, yelling, crying, whatever you need to do because it's necessary and normal. We are here for you and we feel the pain you do. We will be praying for you and will keep checking on you. God bless you.
Melanie

Hi Scottie, I'm so sorry for your loss of Crystal. Great name for a beautiful cat. How I understand what you are going thru...She lived a good long happy life because of your love for her. Someday your tears WILL turn into smiles when you think of her. She sounds like she was your shadow, and it makes it all the more difficult. However, let me tell you from experience, as hard as it was for you to say good-bye, you did not let her suffer..For that, you should never be guilty of letting her go and guilt has been a difficult hurdle for a lot of us.. But now comes the hardest part, the emptiness.
It's been 1yr and almost 1 mo since I lost my Arthur. My head spun all year.. I can count all the days I didn't cry on 1 hand..Grief is such a rough road..You WILL move on from this. When?, Well, everyone is different, but it will happen. In the meantime, here is the best place to be. We're all here to pick eachother up..You are so blessed to have had her in your life for such a very long time..Keeping fingers crossed that we all get to be with our furbabies again one day....Tears to Smiles..Hugs to you and Crystal...Ann

PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS AGAIN. I'M STILL TYPING WITH ONE HAND CUZ I WAS AN IDIOT, BROKE MY LEFT ARM AND IT'S EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...

DEAREST SCOTTIE, EVERYONE HERE WHO KNOWS ME IS AWARE THAT I EXPRESS MYSELF WITH IMAGES, PHOTOS, GRAPHICS AND THE LIKE FAR BETTER THAN I DO WITH THE SPOKEN WORD. I ALSO COMPOSE LOTS OF POEMS, A FEW STORIES AND I USE SONGS TO SAY WHAT I CANNOT PUT INTO WORDS MYSELF. WELL, THERE'S ONE SONG THAT BRINGS MOST PEOPLE COMFORT AT THESE GAWD AWFUL TIMES AND MAKES THEM FEEL SO MUCH CLOSER TO THEIR MOST PRECIOUS FUR KIDS WHO HAVE CROSSED OVER TO THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. YOU SEE, YOUR FUR BABY IS ONLY A BREATH AWAY AND A BREATH AWAY IS NOT FAR AT ALL TO WHERE CRYSTAL IS TO YOU AT THIS VERY MOMENT. HONEST AND FOR TRUE. I'LL POST THAT VIDEO AND LYRICS AT ANOTHER TIME THOUGH ...

YOU, LIKE SO MANY OF US, ARE IN A VERY FRAGILE EMOTIONAL WAY DUE TO YOUR OVERWHELMING GRIEF, PAIN AND LONELINESS. SO, I WISH TO SHARE WITH YOU WHAT IS TO ME JUST ABOUT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SONG I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE AND I'M A PRETTY OLD LADY, TOO. "SLEEP SONG" BY SECRET GARDEN SPEAKS OF ALL THE MOST SIGNIFICANT AND MEANINGFUL BLESSINGS ONE CAN EVER GIFT TO ANOTHER PERSON, FUR CHILD, FEATHER CHILD OR ANY CREATURE BE THEY HERE WITH US ON THIS EARTHLY PLANE OR IN THE NEXT REALM WHERE THEY PATIENTLY WAIT FOR US.

IT'S MY STRONG DESIRE TO BESTOW EACH OF THESE BLESSINGS AND MORE TO YOUR CHERISHED FUR CHILD AND TO YOU ALSO, DEAR ONE. I HOPE AND PRAY THAT THE LYRICS, MELODY AND IMAGES IN THIS VIDEO WILL HELP SOOTHE YOUR BROKEN HEART IF EVEN FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES. MAY YOU AND YOUR BELOVED CRYSTAL BE BLESSED MOST ABUNDANTLY.

PLEASE TURN UP YOUR VOLUME AND CLICK ON HER IMAGE THAT I ENHANCED. {{{{{SCOTTIE}}}}}






Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby. Back to the years of Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow. Bless you with love for the road that you go.

May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune with diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet and may you need never to banish misfortune. May you find kindness in all that you meet.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May you bring love and may you bring happiness. Be loved in return to the end your days. Now fall off to sleep. I'm not meaning to keep you. I'll just sit for a while and sing Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

May there always be Angels to watch over you. To guard you each step of the way. To guard you and keep you safe from all harm. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley. Loo-Li,Loo-Li,Lai-Ley.

MANY COMFORTING HUGS, BLESSINGS AND PRAYERS TO YOU AND YOUR ANGEL FUR BABY CRYSTAL!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

a very happy 4th to everyone and the special people who have taken the time to send their wishes my way..this site has been a god send to me...im still not doing very well but i got through today better than the last few. in my heart i know crystal had to be spared the pain and suffering. and im sure she would have decided the same if she were able to.its just so hard looking around and seeing empty spaces. when im sitting in my recliner i still hang my arm off to the side and close to the floor expecting her to rub up against it.im going to try to sleep in my own bed in the next few nights.i just want to say thank you very much for comforting me...bless u all...

I just knew you wld get a bit of sleep, I'm so glad you did.
My heart aches for you Scottie.
It's the physicallnes of our losses I wasn't ready for, I still feel "delicate".
{{{HUGS}}} to help you thru the nxt day.
elaine

Sending good thoughts to all of you who have lost a pet. People who love animals are the "salt of the earth." And as we save these precious animals, they save us right back, time and time again.

Sending love to you all and wishing for you peace and many blessings.


XOXO,

Kathy (had to put two elderly cats to sleep last summer a month apart, went through a tornado this past April, missing kitty cat since June 5 and heartbroken over it)

hi to all out there who have taken the time to write to me....today was the first day i didnt cry all day...choked up a few times but am remembering how much i loved her and the neat things she used to do..like give me head buts..tap me on my leg like to say "hey, look at me"...the way she talked to me and answered every question.i miss my sweets like crazy but i know it was for the best as she no longer has to live in pain.she was so active i could tell the past few months she looked very depressed.its almost like she was hanging in there for me...i miss the hugs,kisses,purrs...i miss her being by my side..her sleeping on the table on my newspaper as i tried to read it.she was a wonderful and special kitty..i miss my pooh bear...i so miss her.......love you crystal!!!!! kiss,kiss......

it has been 8 days since i said goodbye to my best friend....although the pain of loosing her is still there it has become easier too look at her picture and smile instead if crying..i miss her so much though..coming home will never be the same ...she was always there...i talk to her ev ery day which is a comfort to me...i so wish she could still be with me...even though she was 16 and a half i felt she was still too young to go.

i wish i was there to give you a big bear hug. how beautiful crystal was. your life may never be the same again but know that your baby will always live in your heart. and there will come a day when your heart wont feel like it has a huge open wound in it because it will be filled with wonderful memories of your loved one. i lost my fred and riley within a year. riley was going on 14 and fred was 14. i know how you feel. i thought they would be with me forever. they may not be physically but they are in my heart. i still talk to fred and riley too. i know that my little fred had something to do with the coming of lucy. and everytime that little puppy does something naughty i know that fred is "upstairs" laughing. you know, he is probably laying next to your crystal now, enjoying the sunshine.
dont rush your grieving, take it one day at a time and know that we are always here to listen.
you are in my thoughts and prayers.
patricia

8 days is so early on that your grief will still be quite raw, It's amazing how the world keeps on going when your own world has just fallen apart, I'm gald you can look @ pics now, it took me nearly 3 weeks b4 i cld look @ a photo of my Buddy.
u r in my prayers.
elaine

Well it will be 3 weeks tomorrow i lost my baby girl...the pain is not any less but the coming to grips that i did the right thing is easing my pain..because i know my girl is no longer in any pain..i just miss her so much..im not dealing with it well at all...im lonely...

Hi Scottie,
I just happened to be on google tonight and I entered my little baby's name "Wally Baxter" (was his nickname). He died last September. I posted twice here. At first when he died and a few months later when I had burst into tears remembering him. Anyways, I found my old posts and went in there. I saw his photo and I started to cry again, though not as bad as before.

The thing is, the pain will probably never go away completely, but it does get easier with time. I too had to put my Wally to sleep and he died in my lap. He had epilepsy really bad and I had to choose to end his suffering (he was having 13 attacks a day).....he had gone blind the night before from the brain damage the epilepsy had caused him. I loved him more than life itself. He was a little white fluffy Bichon Frise, though when he went his hair was all matted from all the drool from his attacks. I didn't mind. I loved him. I even let him go potty on the carpet the night before as I didn't want to drag him outside, he was having such a miserable time as it was. He was only 6, so he died before his time.

I think you can thank God for a few things. Your baby got to live a full life. 16 is old for a kitty. I still have a kitty and he gets all the attention now (though he misses Wally too.....they used to play hide and seek together). My kitty is maybe 12 (we aren't sure as he was a rescue kitty), so he probably only has a few more years.

We lost another kitty about a year before Wally, and she died because of diabetes. She was probably older (we aren't sure of her age either), but she was overweight and a little fluffy cutie too.

Wally was the one that broke my heart though.
My reasoning is that God values love and Wally loved unconditionally, and I loved him back dearly. So, I have to believe that he lives on in some form in heaven. For him not to, would mean that God doesn't value love. I don't believe this.

So, by the same reasoning, your baby must also be alive in heaven too. Who knows, they may even be friends there...:-)

Take comfort in the fact that you loved her so much, that this love survived, and that she loved you back in turn.....and probably still does.

I think whats important is that we remember our pets even when we get new ones. I'm not quite at the point where I'm ready to get a new one, but I feel that Wally would say it's OK now to move on. I do know that when you replace your pet, the pain gets a lot less and you build up a new relationship.

One thing not to do is to be afraid to love again for fear of the pain the loss causes. It is always better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Just don't confuse your new baby with your old (some people do this, and I don't think it's right).

I think it's best to remember your pets and continue with new ones. There are so many animals that need responsible loving homes.....too many to count.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The time WILL come when you'll be ready for another kitty. You aren't there yet....but it will come. Don't be surprised if you cry for a few months from time to time. That happened to me. Even today I shed a few tears and it's been almost a year.....but it's no longer the uncontrollable loss like it was a few months ago.

I also pray to my pet and imagine him hearing me. Another thing I did that allowed me to offset a lot of my pain is to tell God that Wally is his pet now....and to take care of him.....

I don't know if you believe in an afterlife or not, but that surely does help.

Again, take solace that time does heal, and you will find love again, just as intense as before, if you give it a chance....just don't rush it and give it time.

I hope you heal fast.
-Donald

hello all...i want to thank each and everyone who has taken the time to write to me...its been 5 weeks since loosing my dear friend.i know she is at peace and i couldnt do any more for my rapidly failing friend crystal...she was 16 1/2 and really lived a life full of love and fun times. i just still feel guilt sometimes. wishing i could have done more for her. im still so very lost. i have days that are ok and others that are filled with tears. its so hard going through each day knowing i wont see her...she looked out for me..when i was sick she would jump on m,y bed and lay next to me and watch over me. i felt protected with her near me when i was ill..i miss her talking to me. purring on my lap...putting her paw on my hand...i should be thankful i had such a wonderful friend...but its so hard letting go...i talk to her pictures each day...saying good morning and goodnight..life is not very good for me right now.....

Dear Scottie
the only thing you hve to let go of is your pain, nothing else, you keep the memories, they are what helps us to get thru each day.
I know that feeling of not feeling protected, it's awful.....you cld let of that feeling if you can....remember moving on isn't bout throwing away crystal's stuff, or not crying, but how we can get thru a day without blaming ourselves for not doing enough to help our beloved companions...I'm glad you came back to let us know how u r going here's a {{{HUG}}} to help you thru.
please keep in touch
elaine

Hi Scottie,
Thank you for your thank you :-)

I have finally passed a barrier. Whenever I let myself go before, I would cry...not just tears, but bawling out loud sobbing aloud. However, in the last few weeks, I've had one or two encounters with pictures of my baby (Wally Baxter) and I now only get a little tears (but only if I let myself). What has happened is I've come to terms that Wally is happy in heaven, and I can visualize this. My tears aren't for Wally, but for me, because I miss him. Before the tears were for him. I also know that Wally knows I'll always love him and he wants me to move on.

I'm pretty sure your Crystal wants you to do the same. It takes time though. I lost my Wally in September 2008, so it's almost a year, and only now am I down to just minor tears.....and I'm a guy! (We aren't supposed to cry :-)

Your pain will decrease in time. Make sure you get other activities in and to not isolate yourself too much. Go for a walk and pray to your higher power (whatever that may be). I must say that believing in God has certainly helped me. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I'm absolutely certain, beyond a doubt, that our pets are there for us in the afterlife.

Rest assured, Crystal is not in pain and is enjoying whatever animals get to enjoy.

So, don't weep for her. Don't blame yourself (you did nothing wrong)....so make sure there is none of that going on. The only thing you should be weeping for is because you miss her. Thats perfectly normal.
It just takes time.

So, my prayers are with you and I hope your grief passes soon.
-Donald

just wanted to say hello to all who have helped me over these past 8 weeks..im so glad this site is here...im still having a hard time saying goodbye...but i talk to her picture each and everyday.it helps. its just so lonely...

I know we all understand how lonely we are when are friends leave us. I wish I could comfort you, but there is nothing to take the pain away. I hope you can find peace.

donald you said it so well. i think that my biggest comfort has come from visualizing my fred and riley in heaven. and that can only come from believing in a higher being, whatever that may be, as its different for everyone. but when my heart feels like it cant take it anymore i see them playing in the fields that they didnt have with me. bathing in the sun, sleeping together and that brings my heart joy. i pray that your heart will find peace.
patricia

well its been 3 very long months since i lost my best friend. the pain comes and goes but never fades. i miss her every minute of everyday. i cant stop thinking about the last time i saw her and said goodbye,and "i love you"...im just so lonely.the holidays wont be the same and i dont even care to celebrate anything. i miss you crystal....love scott

Good morning Scott,

All those "firsts" that come along are indeed very difficult to cope with. Especially the Holidays. I've been where you are now, and I promise you in time the pain of missing Crystal will lessen. One day you will find yourself able to think of her and smile once again.

My first Christmas without Goliath was very foggy and unfestive. In all honesty, when it was over I wasn't able to remember even what we did or where we went, no tree, no laughter with friends and family. The first couple of months I was in a complete mental breakdown unable to function at all. My world had completely collapsed and turned upside down and I didn't want to live anymore. The downward spiral of dark depression kept sucking me deeper and deeper into a place that I had little hope of returning from.

Eventually, I came to realize that Goliath would die all over again if he thought all he left me with were tears and unhappiness. He loved me just as much as I loved him and it was important to him to see me happy and well. I didn't find LS until about 2 months after Goliath passed away. It was here that I found hope, inspiration, and a new will to move on in my life. Working through deep grief is no easy task. We can only work through it because there is no way around it. I came to LS in those days pretty much 24/7 and found that the more I shared and exchanged with others, the better I began to feel. Eventually, I came to realize that Goliath's loving spirit never left me. Though a body may perish, a loving spirit stays very much alive and well. As we nuture that love through the many memories that are left, their loving spirit shines for us. How very blessed we were to have lived in the love these sweet babies brought us. Had there been no death, there would be no life for us to remember. Letting go of the grief doesn't mean letting go of the love and memories.

Accepting Goliath's death was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Learning to live a new and different kind of life wasn't easy. It was like learning to walk all over again. I just didn't know how to live without him. Today, I don't look at Goliath as a loss. Instead I think of him as the greatest blessing I ever had and feel fortunate that it was me who he lived his life with. It's been nearly two years now and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him many times over. I will love him til the day after forever and know that one day he and I will see each other again. So will you and Crystal. This separation is temporary. Life is short while eternity isn't.

Scott, please keep coming back and sharing your sorrow. LS is such a Godsend for those of us who have lost such a precious love in our lives. This is a place we can let it all out and nobody ever has to be alone. We walk with each other through our journeys and gradually pick up the pieces of our broken hearts along the way.

Peace, love, and hugs of comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth

It's been a week since I lost my 13-year old cat Franklin and I have determined that the grief comes in waves. Some days I feel like I will get through this and other days I feel like there is such a huge hole in my heart that it will never heal. I think the hardest thing is when I subconsciously look for him. He used to wake me up every morning and sit on the edge of the tub while I took a bath. So every morning I can feel this void. He used to greet me at the door every time I came home and so I feel a void every time I walk into the house. Some days I can get past the void and other days it seems to consume me. Today it is consuming me.

I do try to think of happy times with Franklin or something goofy that he used to do. It makes me smile. I also try to think that perhaps he would be sad to think that I am so sad. He seemed to sense my grief and would often lick my face when I was crying. That always cheered me up.

I think the most remarkable thing about losing him is this realization of just how unbelievably hard it is to lose him. On some intellectual level I understand that unless you have a life span of less than 20 years, you are going to outlive your pet and so being a pet owner will almost always involve a tremendous loss. And the reason that we do it, is that the collective joy that our pets bring to us far outweighs the agony of their loss.

I am terribly sorry for your loss and believe me you are not alone.