I lost my cat, Dawg, one week ago. He had to be put to sleep because his heart murmur had gotten so bad that it had caused one of his lungs to fill up with fluid and he couldn't breath,and there was nothing the vet could do for him. He was only 4, and we had adopted him when he was 6 months old. He was such a beautiful boy, and when I had cancer, he never left my side. He would wait until the kids got home from school to eat, or go to the litterbox, because he wouldn't leave me alone. If we left the house, he'd be right there at the door waiting for us when we got back. And when friends or family came over, he would "talk" to them until they said hi to him.
About a month ago, we adopted another cat, a kitten named Baxter. For the first couple of days, Dawg didn't want anything to do with him, and then, by the third day, they were thick as thieves. Wherever Dawg was, Baxter was right there with him.
The day I had to say goodbye to Dawg was the hardest day of my life, and a week later it's still hard. I still cry for him, I still feel like I did the day it happened. And, I know this sounds bad, but I still can't stop comparing Baxter to Dawg. When I walked into the house after buring Dawg, Baxter was right there. I picked him up to cuddle him, but I couldn't take it...he wasn't the one I wanted to hold, he wasn't the one I wanted to see in the morning, he's not Dawg. What do I do now?

What do you do now? You keep hugging Baxter and you keep missing Dawg. You never forget the love and never forget the pain. You let the loss fade over time but try to hold on to the memories that make you smile and laugh. You make sure Baxter doesn't miss him too much and when he does, you give him all the hugs TWO cats should get.

You move forward, living your life as fully and as completely as you can. You do all the things you ever wanted to do and some of the things you thought you've never get the chance to try. You live one day at a time, one love at a time - the world belongs to you and you alone and it's yours to take advantage of. The sun on your face, the wind in your hair, the birds flying by, the sounds of children laughing, the whole damn world around you - you are it's master and it's yours for as long as you are here.

Just like a Dawg.

Sounds like Dawg hung on till he knew you would be ok and with Baxter there to look after you he knew he could leave in peace.

The way he stayed with you and to him looked after you till someone came home to take over, he must have been a very special cat indeed.

Its hard for a while but think of Dawg at Rainbow Bridge with all our babies looking down on you knowing youll be ok eventually and that Baxter is there for you to cuddle and kiss and love.

Comparing Baxter to Dawg is a fruitless exercise he is a soul in his own right and eventually you will have a very different but very special bond with Baxter.

Take care
Love Sue

I love Electra in her own right. But she will NEVER be Saki. Saki was my soul mate. She just was.... Some might say the love is just different... to me, it feels like MORE. I can't describe why she was so special. But she really was that special to me. She was MY cat. I was her mommy.

And she left, and Electra stayed...

And to be honest, sometimes that pisses me off. Not that I would ever wish any harm on Electra. But if it had been MY choice.....

But DJ and Sue are right: you just go on. You love Baxter your own way, a different way than you loved Dawg (was Dawg, by chance, Siamese? Saki was and they are very dog like breeds is why I ask)...Maybe you love Baxter less than you love Dawg... but I think that is ok, too.

In addition to just going on, I think you have to -- deal with the fact that Baxter is not Dawg. Don't try to love Baxter as much as you love Dawg. Love Baxter like you love Baxter and BE OK with that. I like some people more than others. I like some people in my family more than I like other people in my family. That's just life.

Have you ever noticed that dogs have friends? I pondered this on one of my posts once. But-- dogs have friends, dogs they like, dogs they love, dogs they are indifferent to, dogs they hate... It's kinda weird. But I try to think of it like that. I am not any worse than any of the wonderful dogs out there for having stronger affections for some more than others... so don't feel guilty.

I am really sorry your Dawg died. It's hard to lose that very special companion. I believe that someday you will be together again.

Love,
Jennifer

Try not to burden Baxter by expecting him to be Dawg. That is a difficult task for anyone to live up to. When I lost Scott I was so angry at Chibi because she was there because Scott wasn't, but that's irrational. Chibi had nothing to do with Scott departing. I went through a number of others that didn't work out either and finally decided to not look for horses anymore. Because nobody will ever replace Scott, and I don't think I can ever accept another because Scott was so perfect it really brings out the worst of the others I've tried. I don't know if this is helpful but I thought I'd share my feelings in that we all tend to be disgusted that we can never have our perfect children again-in any package.

P.S.
One exception, when Hennie died, Kiwi came into my life and it was like Hennie never left. Don't give up hope, there are miracles.

Everyone,
Thank you for all of your advice and help. I am trying to deal with losing Dawg ( now it's only been three weeks), but I am trying to get closer with Baxter. He's not very happy right now, as he has just gotten back from the vet after being neutered and de-clawed. But he is slowly creeping into my heart. I know now that no cat will ever be able to live up to my memories of Dawg, I even thought about adopting another orange and white cat who resembled him, but when I picked him up I knew, it wasn't the same, and it never would be. I will always love Dawg the best, and no other will ever replace him in any way. And no, Baxter isn't Dawg, but he is his own cat..and the only one I know of who likes to play fetch!
Again, thank you all for your support.
Nancy