Only 8 days ago life was right, sigh!!!! Now it's all weird.
I only just made it down the pet food aisle in the supermarket yesterday by putting my head down & not looking @ the shelves. Thinking maybe I shld avoid that aisle nxt week. I thought that I might feel "better" but sometimes it feels even worse now than when I was waiting for the time to take Buddy to the vets to go to sleep. Things are still difficult. I sat with my 11yr old daughter on Tuesday and showed her this website and stuff cos she was just so overwhelmed she couldn't go to school. I thought missing my Buddy was hard but helping my daughter with her grief was all to tough. By the end of the day she was much better and realised it's ok to cry and feel all these strange sensations, not sleeping, not eating & being really sad & crying......this is just all so INCREDIBLY painful.....YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't bring myself to take our big wheelie bins out for collection this week (my husband did it instead) cos Buddy wouldn't be there for our little ritual of taking the bins out & him getting in the way & tripping me up and then he scarpers off to do his business out the front and hve a sniff around and then back. Nothing really exciting bout the whole thing but it's just another reminder that life has changed so much........I want to cry but finding it difficult to let it happen.....so just waiting for the next set of emotions to roll on in and experience them....SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elaine,

We are in the same boat, my friend. It was 10 days ago and Sammie was running around playing and I was on vacation having a wonderful time. Now, it's ALL wrong and all different. That book I mentioned in my last post, "All Pets Go to Heaven", try to read that. I really think it might give you some relief from the pain and at this point I think we'll take every ounce of relief we can. I have a 12 year old son and daughter, not twins, one is mine and one is my husband's. I thought it would be my daughter that had the roughest time b/c she spent the most time with Sammie but it is actually my stepson. He is taking this hard and he doesn't know what to do with himself during the day now that schools out. He spent a lot of time playing with Sammie outside. I don't even know if he realizes why he is so sad but I do. It is hard to keep it together for them. I have to talk to myself a hundred times a day. First, I had to tell myself to breath and now I'm telling myself that Sammie wouldn't want me to be so sad. I think that if she can see me I want her to see me smiling by remembering all the wonderful times we had. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I have to do something or I'll go to bed and never get up again and cry all day. Hang in there. I'm praying for you and I think about you everyday.
Melanie

So sorry to read about the passing of your good friend, Buddy. He sounds like a very unique family member, no wonder you are all missing him so much.

Grief is a heavy emotion, it comes on like crashing waves, knocking you over and wiping out everything else. My Mom passed away less than 3 years ago, then my kitty Molly Malone in September and now Mr X will be leaving soon. Somehow each one that leaves carries me back to the time of losing the others as well.

Listen to your heart and sit with your feelings, these are inner messages coming from a deep source, honoring the loving bond you shared. Each memory tells you about the love that was your connection with your friend and each is like a scrapbook of snapshots from the life you had together.

When I think about my family members that have gone on I am truly amazed at what an incredible part of my life they were and how much they contributed. I am so grateful for their presence with me, what a joy and comfort, how many funny stories I could tell, how unique each one was, so special and full of personality.

I hope you experience the grace of release and relief as you travel through this very hard time.

Many hugs and prayers are traveling to you from all over the world, from every one who knows what treasures these friends have been and who share your incredible loss.

J

thank you all soo much

I did the same thing today...had to go to the hardware store and the have a pet isle there with food dishes, flea collars, chains...etc. and I went through with my head down trying not to look.

My daughter just moved back home and brought her dog...(my grand dog) with her. He is part yellow lab we have no idea what the other part is. She had rescued him from the pound and they weren't sure either. He used to love coming over and playing with Gemini, he went from room to room looking for him. It was kind of sad to watch. He went over and found the bones he used to share with him took one and started chewing on it and thats when I started to cry again thinking of Gemini and how he loved those bones. He would only decide to chew them while we were watching a movie or going to sleep. crunch...crunch....crunch.
It's been a little comfort having her dog here, he loves to snuggle and he's gotton a lot of my tears on him poor little guy.
I know what you mean you never know where or when the emotions are going to hit.
((((hugs))))

"Greif is a healing journey, and I will trust my heart to lead my head in this journey."

I know what you mean about avoiding rituals like the bins. I haven't been able to put anything up in our attic because the second we would pull down the attic stairs, Sydney would come running from wherever she was in the house and dash up them to investigate. She loved it up there. All of our Christmas stuff is up there and every year I would feel so happy pulling all of our decorations down and putting them around the house for the holidays. Sydney loved to sit and watch me wrap gifts and would always try and chase the wrapping paper and ribbons. I don't know how I'm going to face Christmas this year, and the stockings with each of our names embroidered on them, including Sydney's.

it's all the little things that just add up, sigh!!!!!
nice to know another person was flying thru, head down thru an aisle in the shops, I don't feel so silly. Again thank you for sharing you hurt with me too.

It is nice to hear that you all have feelings like me...We all have out things, I have a hard time going to the garage sometimes because that is where Ceaser used to hang out during the days. ( I turned half the garage into a room and placed carpet and a sofa out there for them, we didn't keep our car in there for that reason) I still have a hard time looking at certain things that reminds me of Ceaser. There are certain spots out in the backyard where Ceaser used to hang out and I still remember and anticipate him there. It is hard....very hard...and I am not the only one. The good thing with you is that at least your daughter has feelings and is aware, believe it or not there are some kids out there that don't care at all. You did well by raising them to appreciate and respect animals to the point where they also form a special bond with them and the fact that they hsrt when the pets die is a good thing. It is very hard....I feel for you.....we all miss our furry friends!

Yes, we all miss our precious little furry babies. It is the first anniversary of Lily's death this Wednesday. And Hunny has been gone 2 1/2 months now. I still have all those waves of emotions. I have found myself lately wondering if Hunny would still be alive if we hadn't sent her to be with her sister Lily. I know we did the right thing for Hunny, but I can't help but wander if it was the right time. I miss them both so very much. I have a memorial website set up for the both of them, but since we lost Hunny, I've been finding it really hard to go there. I still have to bury Hunny's ashes too. Having a hard time with doing that. We have Lily buried in the back yard, and I cry everytime I have to cut the grass there. I cry all the time anyway, but seeing her little cross makes my heart ache so much for her and for Hunny.

My daugther, 13, is doing well. She had a hard time when Lily left and yes that was extremely hard to deal with. It was a little easier with Hunny, in a way, because we knew her time was coming and I think we grieved so much before she had to go. But still she went through all the emotions too. And I know she misses them. She doesn't really talk about them, but she has photos of them hung up all over her bedroom walls, and every once in a while, she'll print out another picture and hang it up.

I wish so much that I could just hold and kiss them. I don't have a hard time with pet aisles, stuff like that, but I find that I do not want to be away from home. I feel closest to them at home and I want to be there for my other dogs. But I have to work. But, one thing is for sure, I do not put work before my family anymore. My outlook on life certainly changed a year ago when Lily suddenly left and then fighting the cancer with Hunny.

I know we're all going though the same heartache and it's comforting to know there are others who understand the pain, the guilt and the longing..... oh, the longing.... that is definitely the worst part.

Take care.

Lynette.

yes the longing Lynette is sure tough.

It is so difficult. Hugs to you.

thx scarlett

Hello friend,

I was just thinking about you today and hope you find something today to make you smile. Stay strong. I'll be thinking about you.

Melanie

that's so sweet of you Melanie & yes I have smiled to-day