I feel better knowing that I am not the only one who have had a pet die unexpectedly.
I thought for sure that my 12 year old Beage Ceaser whom I have shared a decade with, would quietly go in peace with his head resting on my lap under a tree from natural old age....But no...it didn't end up that way.
Ceaser started to vomit one afternoon and would not stop, I decided to give it the night thinking he was just ill from too much srapfood...
( I had fed him Chineses food..and is I swear I will never eat Chinese again. In the past, he had alwasy been fine but this time the portion was too much. )
Ceaser started to vomit friday afternoon and I called the vet that day to schedule an appointment, they were full and recommended the emergency vet. I decided to just give it the night.....and to check him in the morning.
When I woke up the next day, he was in horrible shape and I rushed him to the emergency vet...things happend so fast and I was in severe denial when the Dr was telling me how bad he really was. Too much grease and oil for his pancreas to handle resulted in an acute Pancreatitis whith a possible perfurated ulcer which resulted in overall severe perontitis and shock. He died a few hours later with me there. I had to go home real quick thinking he was going to make it but rushed right back per the Vet's order. He was waiting for me to pass. I got there and spent some time with him, spoke to him and petted him and then he went into a cardiac arrest. Long story short....I witnessed his soul leave his body and I believe that Ceaser waiting for me was his gift to me. He confirmed that our connection was real...our bond was real and that we truy loved and cared for aach other unconditionally.
It has been a month now and the acute emotional pain is slowly going away but I do miss him very much.
The guilt of why I didn't take him in sooner is still there and the guilt and regret of feeding him the chinese is even bigger.
The heavy feelings of loss and longing for the dog is greater than ever. First comes the initial attack of pain then the steady pain...then pain at times and then guilt, regret and the that pain leaves but another pain called longing starts; burdened by guilt and regret. So it is not easy and I know he is in Heaven and I enjoy his visits and when I get those "visits"...I feel much better and feel very blessed to be able to enjoy this relationship at another level!

I just wanted to share......I am working on his scrapbook and other projects that helps me re-live Ceaser's life.


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I am so very sorry. Isn't grief just positively overwhelming - the shock, the pain, the guilt - all the things that we have to deal with. And missing our loved one can hurt so much. My grief is still pretty new, having lost my kitty under 2 weeks ago. I too am working on a scrapbooking project and am finding it very therapeutic.

Hugs are being sent your way.

I'm so sorry for your loss and I can completely relate to the feelings you described - shock, anger, pain, all of it. I have a friend who lost her 7-year old dog the same way - too much grease for his system to handle. So very sad.

Wishing you peace.

Oh ceaserthings,

I am so sorry for your loss. It is so, so hard I know, especially when you are blaming yourself so much. Please try not to, that too I know is hard under the circumstances.

Giving him his treat of chinese food was something that you did because you knew he loved it so, you were in no way to know that it would have this effect, if indeed it was that that caused his illness.

Guilt and grief are so hard to bear, but think of what you had with each other and cherish those lovely memories. You said he waited for you to go to him, so you know he loved you and didn't hold you to blame.

I lost my little pet of 12 years suddenly, I found he had died when I went to him in the morning. We had been playing the night before as we usually did. I feel he waited for me to go to bed and not be there, then went to the bottom of his cage and passed. So our little ones have their own ways of helping us through it. I too felt guilty though because I thought I should have known there was something wrong with him, but he was playing and acting just as cheekily - that was his name too Cheeky - as he always did so to find him next morning broke me completely.

Hang in there, it will be hard and will hurt and hurt, I know this too well but hopefully time will help the healing. The support from the rest of the lovely caring people here will help you too.

Take care,
gossamerwings

I am so very sorry about your Ceaser.

Please realise how fortunate you were to have been able to be there with him when he passed. When my border collie died suddenly due to cardiac arrest, I did not make it back to the vets in time. I know she tried to wait, but her heart was too weak. My golden retriever, however was able to wait for me when his time came.

I can tell you with absolute certainty, that losing them without being there with them makes the death a seeming impossibility to get over. It's been five years since my border collie passed, and I still feel intense pain when I think of her dying alone.

I hope that the fact that you were with Ceaser will bring you a bit of peace during these heartwrenching times.

Oh...gosh! Thank you sooo much for your wonderful support!!!

I feel for ALL of you when reading your experiences. Yes, the fact that I was there really helped! The scrapbooking is also another good thing but me being there was the best way but that is difficult for some and I feel for those who coulnd't be there.

Gossemerwings....I really feel for you! That must be hard but I know that she waited and sometimes I think they already know you know and the fact that you were rushing back was good enough for her to let go.....the fact that we are here writing ad talking about them in such positive light is wonderful for them, that is what I tell myself because if I died and through my soul I watched people write about me and make scrapbooks and collect pics, seek for support etc....I woud be very very happy to see how loved I was and am.


Thank you again for your support!!

I am so glad I found this website!

(jess..did the dog get similar symptoms..? I haven't found anybody who had the same thing happened yet so...I was curious when I read your reply)

I don't know all of the details, but he somehow got into some greasy food. Some of it she fed him, I think, and then he got into more of it that was in the garbage. He started throwing up and she thought that had cleared out his system. When he still wasn't acting quite right, she took him to the vet. I don't know what kind of treatment they gave him, but I know at one point they decided to go ahead with surgery and when the vet opened him up, they found abcesses throughout his digestive system (I believe) from the "overdose" of grease. My friend made the decision at that point to put him to sleep while he was under the anesthesia because there was so much damage. Very, very sad story.

That sounds very close to what happened with Ceaser....I still can't beleive it!
He was vomiting and I thought also that he just needed to clear out of his system and just give him water.
He just got worse and just as I approved the Dr. to go ahead with all the treatment and surgery, he started to crash.
So sorry for your friend, please let her know of that.
Thanks for answering my question!

Im so very sorry.it is indeed a very hard thing to go trough this ,but this place has a lot of support ,please give your self time, and know that people here know what its like going trough this take care of your self and hope you feel better . THANKS JAY

So sorry for your loss. I have beagles too.

We lost Lily unexpectedly last June (almost a year ago). We are not sure exactly what happened, whether she choked on a bone or she swallowed a bee. I don't know, but I know we tried everything to keep her with us, but unfortunately nothing worked and we watched the life leave her eyes, and her soul leave her body. I feel so much intense pain and guilt for the way she died. The thought that she choked on a bone haunts me (we checked her throat and could feel nothing, so we are not sure what happened.) All I know is that I am so paranoid now about everything my babies get into.

I know how you feel, except we didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her, she slipped away so fast. It'll be a year this June 24th. I can't believe how time has flown. I still cry for her so much. Then to top things off, less than a week after we lost Lily, we found out our other dog, Hunny, had cancer. We put her to sleep April 4th of this year. It's been a very tough year, and I understand too well the pain you describe. All the flucutations in feelings, and then the longing. I find the longing the worst part. It hurts so much to know that you can't hold them or kiss them. And my babies have only visited me once. I just hope that they are not mad at me, and hope that they are just too busy to think about me.

I only hope that my beagles (3 of them) live to be a ripe old age. Hunny and Lily were both only eight when they flew to heaven.

My condolences to you.

Take care.

yes, they certainly do think they are people don't they?

Hope today is a little better than yesterday.

Take care.

I'm sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your new angel!

I am so so sorry about Ceasar. I just lost my Sammie (3 1/2 year old black and white sheltie) on Saturday unexpectedly. Sammie, also had a serious pancreatitis attack due to table surfing at my daughter's birthday party a few years ago. We were lucky the first time. The hospital saved her but it weakened her immune system so bad that she developed Addison's disease and had an Addison's Crisis attack which took her life away from me.

The raw unbelievable pain is indescribable. You described exactly how I feel right now. My emotions don't even make sense half the time. I am so thankful that you are doing better. I am going to have one of my friends help me put together a book about Sammie and all the things we did together and all the hundreds of pictures we have of her. I think I have more pictures of the dog than my 3 kids. She's my screen saver on my computer and my wallpaper on my phone. I am thankful that Ceasar was in your life for the time he was to bring you so much love and joy. What an amazing gift he was to you. I will lift you up in prayer today for your continued healing.

Melanie

I have been meaning to write a reply to you about Sammie.
I am very sorry to hear about that.... I am also aware of Addison's disease and knowing that your dog got that...makes me feel better that I did let him go, well he let go....he could have easily gotten that as well, the Dr mention the possibility of an underlying cause of Addison's disease.
Isn't Addison's, Pancreatitis and Peritonitis just awful?? I am so happy to hear that you were able to get some more time with your dog after the actual pancreatitis attack! That was nice....but I am very sorry for your loss and I truly know Sammie is watching over you! Thank you so much for your sympathies and prayers...and when I scrapbook next time I will remember Sammie!