I am having so much trouble dealing with whether or not she was actually deceased! I am starting to think I am losing my mind. She was 14 and had cancer, and was very ill towards the end. I woke up at 4 in the morning and checked on her, and just from looking, I could tell she was gone. Of course, I put my hand on her, no breath. My husband went to work that day and I had her in a blanket until he got home. I checked on her a few times. She never moved. She was becoming stiff (I think), here come the doubts . . . If anyone could please help me, I would appreciate it! Thanks!

I am so very sorry to hear about Xyoie.

What you are experiencing, from what I have read and heard, is rather normal. It's like a combination of shock and denial.

I went through the same thing after my dog was euthanized last July; and have felt that way before about my other animals (also when I've gone to the funerals of friends and relatives). I think most people have these thoughts/doubts.

I knew the injection was given; I was sitting right there , with Patsy's head on my lap. The vet said, "She's gone." She listened for a heartbeat and said there was none. I wondered: Did she have the stethoscope in the right spot? I spent at least a half hour w/my dog's body afterwards; still saying goodbye and crying my eyes out. I couldn't believe what I had just had done, but I felt it was the best decision I could have made for her. I remember noticing that her body really didn't get "cold." My husband and son were waiting in the lobby; I didn't want to keep them waiting any longer. A vet tech carried her body away to the back of the hospital (I decided I would have her body cremated and keep her cremains in a box). When we were ready to leave my son asked to see Patsy's body. They brought her body back out to an exam room, where we petted, kissed and said goodbye one last time. I remember touching her ears, thinking, 'they still feel kinda warm...'

I thought of saying something to the staff, but then I thought they'd think I was nuts or something! I believe I read somewhere that the onset of the body's "coldness" can vary...

I shared my experience at a Pet Loss Support Group meeting. I was assured by the group leader that after that injection, my dog was indeed dead, and that my thoughts and feelings were absolutely normal. It still took me a while to accept it.

If you need to talk, you will find a lot of support here. Be kind to yourself. It sounds like you gave Xyoie a good earthly life.

Sincerely,
hope2heal

I am sorry for the loss of Xyoie--I have experienced that and even, while I am transporting them to the vets, so they can be creamated--you still have that last hope----

Nothing is easy about loosing them----it takes time

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Sorry for your loss. My dear cat Hobbes passed away at home too and although I knew she was "well and truly dead" part of me didn't want to believe it. I had to take the remains into the vets and before I handed her body over I just had to look one more time to make sure.

I still feel that there's a cosmic joke being played on me though and that she cannot be gone. She was,even until the end, very much a presence in our family and participated. People tell me that this is normal.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Xyoie, my kitty was 14 too, and died of cancer at home.
I was happy that he wouldn't be in pain anymore, but devastated I would never see him again.
I think alot of people go through this mcase17, and it's normal.
Do you have pics of Xyoie?

Take Care

I want to thank you all for your time and comforting words! Xyoie had cancer and I knew the day was near as I watched her go down hill. That night, I awoke from my sleep for no reason around 4 a.m. Xyoie had been laying in the bathroom for quit some time. I went to the bathroom (never turning the light on) and put my hand on her and knew instantly she was gone. That day I never doubted she had passed. It wasn't until the next day when all of these terrible thoughts came into my mind like, did I check enough times, was she just in a coma. . . oh my, I was sick to my stomach. It was a week ago today that she passed and I miss her even more. After she had passed, I was walking from my kitchen into my living room and tripped over nothing (I saw a shadow near my feet). I want to believe this was Xyoie getting in my way as she always did I will post some pictures of her and I will admit it is hard to look at them. Thank you all again!

even as i told my daughter that our "buddy" was gone, she asked if I was sure...it really made me think.....just like you.....maybe....just maybe....he was still alive...it was hard for me to truly believe what i was telling her......but he has gone & we are waiting for his ashes....the nxt round of feeling horrible and i'm not looking forward to the kids asking me "are you sure they're "buddy's" ashes? What if they got it wrong?" this is such a painful time.......all i keep saying is, "this SUX!!!!!" I hope u r feeling better mcase17. {{{HUGS}}}

Ok thank god I'm not crazy after all. I had the same thoughts too. I was there for the injection and with Gemini after he passed for a while. After I went home I thought ( hoping )I would get a call from the vet saying it was a mistake and Gemini was still alive. Waiting for his ashes but not looking forward to that, he always loved to ride in the car and I'm sure it's gonna hit me hard.

I am so sorry to hear about your cat Xyoie. My prayers are with you, when the night is long may you see beyond the shadows to the sun.
Take Care {hugs}

I am so very sorry for the loss of Xyoie. You are NOT crazy. You are NOT losing your mind. I think it is our hearts wishing it wasn't true and that are babies are still with us. My Sammie girl died while I was on vacation. My friend was taking care of her and took her to the emergency vet hospital and stayed with her most of the time. I never saw her. She was fine when I left. My husband picked her up from the hospital when we got back and put her in the casket he made for her. He saw her and knew she was really gone but I never saw her. I wanted to dig up the casket Friday night just to make sure she was really in there and really gone. My husband assured me over and over again that she was in there and she was gone but it is so hard for me to realize. I keep praying for a sign, a whisper, a vision a shadow something to help convince me she's o.k. But nothing yet. We love them so much and they are such a big part of everything we do that our heart simply cannot accept that they are gone very easily. You are not alone. I think most of us on here have felt very similiar feelings. I will pray for you and I wish I could give you a hug. Hang in there and keep writing.
Melanie