Thread started for:

ELLIOT'S MOM


As I was reading the new posts the other day, I came across the following post.

Elliot's mom was responding to "Flops" thread , and in her post, I noted that she had just lost her precious best friend, Elliot Bell . And just before that, her dad had passed away .
I sent a personal message to Elliot's mom to see if she'd like me to start her own thread. There are so many wonderful, caring & thoughtful people here at Lightning-Strike who I know would want to respond to Elliot's mom. She gave me the "OK" to start a thread for her.


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my heart breaks for you. i am so so sorry for your losses. i can "feel" the love you have for elliot. how blessed you both were to have each other. i too, lost my sweet fred not too long ago and can absolutely relate to asking him to wake up. i held fred as he passed away. and when he was gone, i remember screaming on the inside to please please wake up and come back. the pain is excrutiating. but know that elliot is in a beautiful place now. hes running around with his new friends and he no longer has any seizure. i would like to think that he is together with my little fred and riley (who passed away a year ago).please continue to write. it really helped me to know that i wasn't alone, which you are not. please accept my condolences for your father as well. i am truly sorry.

you are in my thoughts and prayers
patricia ((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

Hi, Elliot's Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your dad and your beloved companion Elliot. Two devastating losses in a short period of time is devastating, and your loss of Elliot also compounds the loss of your dad for they had a connection to each other through you. This grief healing journey is never an easy one to travel for it is filled with so many emotions some of which can be very paralyzing at times. Please know you are not alone in your journey, Elliot's Mom. Each of us do understand what you are feeling, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Elliot's Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Elliots Mom, thank you for posting for her Muffins.
I'm so sorry for your loss. We have all been through it, and can help.
My baby was 14 when he passed too. It's hard to be without them, thats for sure.
I hope you're able to heal from this, we are here for you.

Take Care

Dear Eliott's Mom,

I am so very sorry for your losses. There is really nothing new for me to add that those before me have not said. We all just want you to know that we are all here for you and understand your grief. I lost my sweet baby boy (Doberman) 6 weeks ago and I can't believe 6 weeks have passed. I barely remember the first 2 - it was all a blur of tears and regrets and even anger. I hurt so bad I could barely breathe. Thank goodness I stumbled across this website. i was able to put all of grief down in words and the response and support I got was amazing. the writing was very cathartic and it has helped to start the healing process for me. Please write as often as you like - even if it's just to say I FEEL AWFUL! We're all here for you. I'll keep you in my prayers tonight.

Sincerely,
Carol

Thank you Patricia, moon beam, Carol, and Bue's Mommy for your kind words and prayers. I was wondering why I hadn't cried much after my Elliot died, when he meant so much to me. Now I realize that my dear father's recent death had left me numb and that I was in denial about Elliot's passing. Reading all your responses has allowed the gates to open and the tears to flow. I can't stop crying now. I want Elliot back on my table, back on my computer, back on my lap. The kindness of all of your sympathies is overwhelming. That you can give me comfort in the face of your own grief speaks to the best of humanity. I do hope that Elliot is romping with Fred and Riley and the Doberman. It is so hard not having him with me, though. I have no husband or children or significant other. Elliot was my constant companion, and his sudden departure has left me bereft. You all understand, and for that I am grateful.

PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS. I'M TYPING WITH ONE HAND AND IT'S EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...

DEAREST MUFFINS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR MAKING THIS POST ON BEHALF OF ELLIOT'S MOM. GOD BLESS YOU!!!

DEAREST ELLIOT'S MOM, I CAME BY TO CHECK AND SEE IF YOU LEFT ANY MORE WORD ABOUT PRECIOUS FUR BABY SHADOW AND READ ALL THE ABOVE. I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY YOU'RE GOING THROUGH SO MUCH. YOU DO HIDE YOUR GRIEF WELL LIKE MYSELF BUT I KNOW HOW MUCH GOSH AWFUL PAIN YOU MUST BE FEELING. PLEASE ACCEPT MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES UPON THE LOSS OF YOUR CHERISHED BEST FRIEND ELLIOT BELL AND YOUR MOST BELOVED DAD.

PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU REMAIN IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I WING MANY MORE LOVING ANGELS TO SOOTHE AND GENTLY GUIDE YOU THROUGH THIS MOST DIFFICULT TIME IN YOUR LIFE, DEAR ONE.



MANY COMFORTING HUGS!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Hi, Elliot's Mom, I truly empathize with how you are feeling. I am a single older woman - - never been married, do not have human children. As the youngest of 5 older siblings the furkids we had in the household while I was growing up were my younger brothers and sisters who needed my love and protection from a very abusive biological father. Now my companions are my furkids. I am the "weirdo" of the family because of the bond I have with my furkids and Nature in general. Whenever I have lost a furchild I never could count on the support of my older siblings. Most people do not understand the bond connection between humans and animals because they do not know what it is like to be loved unconditionally, and in response, to surrender oneself completely without reservation to another living, breathing person of a different life form. And when we lose our beloved companions we lose a part of ourselves because they take the better part of us that we committed to them with them to heaven's perfect garden. This is one of the many reasons why our grief so deep, and it is only others who share this kindred relationship with their beloved companions - - like each of us here in this forum - - who can truly understand how we feel. Elliot's Mom, it is healthy to cry in your grief as often as you need to, for your tears are cleansing tears to rid your body of the toxic chemicals that build up in the body due to the stress of grieving. Please know we are here for you to share the pain for your sorrow and to try to be a source of encouragement and comfort to you as you begin to rebuild your life in loving memory of your precious Elliot. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Elliot's Mom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

dear elliots mom
i too am single and (ehem) older and have never had two-legged kids. my babies have always been of the four-legged kind. i so understand the grief you are going thru. it seems to be of the deepest kind. it comes from the very core of your soul. you are going thru something unimaginable right now what with the death of your father as well. what helped me was to build a little memorial for my fred. i have his bowl, his needles (he was diabetic) his photos and his ashes up in a book shelf. i talk to him everyday. time will heal the open wound. and one day you will be flooded with wonderful and happy memories of your dear elliot. please please keep writing. that helped me so much. write about your grief and about your memories. we are here to listen and to support you because we all know what you are going thru.

god bless and i continue to keep you in my prayers, that your pain will lessen and that thinking of little elliot will bring you a little smile.
(((a big hug from patricia)))

You are all so intuitive. I guess that gift precludes one's ability to love animals. I've had cats all my life, even had one illegally in my college dorm room many years ago. I've loved them all, of course. and grieved terribly after each one passed or disappeared. All were my "favorites." My sweet, skinny, autistic Frankie, a grey and white stray adopted as a kitten, died in my arms at 17 years of age three years ago due to an undiagnosed neurological process. He had never once bitten or scratched a human or fellow animal in all his years. And not once did another cat ever lay a paw on him. That skinny little guy was well respected for whatever reason, and just a slight hiss from him every now and then kept any would-be troublemakers at bay, including Elliot. After Frankie died, I put him in the cat bed that I had bought for him just two days earlier and that he loved, and played a tape over and over that a friend had made for me years before that had the song "My Buddy" on it.

Another cat I had during Frankie and Elliot's reign was Othello, a black cat that was a real Mama's boy. He responded to no one but me, and would have been perfectly happy to have been carried around in my arms for his entire life. He was the baby I never had. At eight he developed a sarcoma in a rear leg, the result of the previous year's rabies shot. The shots are now given in the shoulder blade area because of so many incidences of cancer occurring from when they were given in the hip. I had his rear leg amputated, and he bounced back to health, playing like a kitten again. We had a wonderful year together before the cancer returned and the vet put him down on the windowsill in my kitchen, the same windowsill that Elliot spent years happily looking out from. After Othello was put to sleep, I let forth wails from the gut and sobbed for hours. It was hours more before I buried him. A strange note: the day before I had him put down, I let him outside. Then he disappeared. He had never strayed far from me. I searched for hours with no luck. I sat on the porch as night fell, realizing that he had probably gone off to die. I was beside myself with grief, unable to bear not seeing him again. In the darkness, he suddenly appeared. I was overjoyed to see him and believe that he had felt my anguish and had come back to comfort me. I am forever grateful to him for that.

Elliot was a special case. He was ornery from the start, his own man, or cat. He originally belonged to the vet across the lane, and I first spied him playing among her children as they were sledding down the hill in the yard outside my window. I was struck by his sociability as he held his own among the children. His joy of living was obvious. He would sleep at night in a depression in the yard, or under a certain tree. It was a while before I realized that the vet did not allow her cats into her home. They were left to fend for themselves outdoors. Elliot was fine with that, sleeping in one of his special spots all night long in open view of any would-be predators but apparently care-free and tough. One day he made his way into my second-floor apartment in an old house, and that was the start of a long friendship. It lasted for thirteen years. He slept with me every single night. My kitchen window was always open for him to go in and out as he pleased. I set up wood boards that he could use to climb down from the roof and back up. He was a great hunter and in the summer often brought me presents that he would drop by my bed in his middle of the night forays.

In all the years he lived with me, he never used a litter box until the last few months. Before that, he always went outside to do his business. I never had a cat that played until the day he died, but Elliot did. Even at 14 he was chasing a ribbon, batting at a pea## feather, or grabbing a pen with both paws. I feel guilt, guilt, guilt that I didn't protect him from what I believe were environmental sources that caused his sudden seizures and death. My landlord has been working in the hallway for months, and has left all the detritus of his work lying around: paint chips, paint thinner, spackle, etc. Plus, I found a container with some kind of poison that he had been spraying in the apartment above me. Elliot used to hang out in the hallway sometimes, and although I didn't let him since my landlord has been tearing it up, I did let him out there one night shortly before he died when he was extremely restless. The vet did not do toxicology studies and said that Elliot's kidney and liver function tests came back normal. She said he must have had bleeding in the brain that caused his seizures but couldn't determine the cause. She said it could have been due to a brain tumor, but he was perfectly normal until two days before he died. So I suspect it had something to do with my landlord's use of chemicals in the hallway and all the containers of stuff he's left laying around there. If that is the cause of Elliot's death, then I cannot forgive myself.

Elliot's Mom
I'm so sorry for your loss of Elliot. Your love for him really touched my heart. I was moved to tears when you wrote that Elliot was on your table in his carrier and later that you wished he was still with you on the table, computer, and your lap. I instantly thought of Nicole, my beloved cat companion, who died on Dec.7/08. She used to sit on the table and give me the 'ham' look that she knew I understood. She loved ham. I'd open the fridge and say, 'ham?' She'd answer back 'ham'. And she'd take it in her mouth from my fingers. She only got a few pieces that I flaked for her cuz I was worried about nitrates and other ingredients in it, but there was always a taste of ham for my baby.
And me, too, like you and Patricia, I have no spouse or human children. My cat companions are my intimate family. Thank you for sharing your grief for Elliot. Peace and comfort be yours.

Dear Nicole's Mom,

Thank you so much for your heartfelt words. I was grieving something awful for Elliot tonight when I came home and he was not there to greet me. This pain seems like it will never go away. About ham: my father had a cat named Pretty Girl who went crazy for tavern ham. The minute he walked in the door with groceries that included tavern ham, she knew it. How a nose could smell out tavern ham all wrapped up amid other groceries, I don't know. She was wild about it and practically attacked all the bags until we gave her some. She ate it with gusto. Thank you for reminding me of this memory. Both my dad and Pretty Girl are gone now, but both are hopefully enjoying tavern ham sandwiches wherever they are, along with your kitty. There must be a special place in heaven for ham lovers.

Elliot's mom

{{{{{HUGS}}}}
I know how much it hurts & it's awful, I am going thru this too.

Dear Petmum,

I am so sorry about your Buddy. There are no words I can give that will console you. As everyone else has said on this forum, they have gone through the same experience. That is the only consolation, but it is a huge one. Here are the lyrics to the song "My Buddy." A friend of mine had made a tape for me years ago that included this song. When my cat Frankie died, I instinctively reached for this tape and played it over and over before I buried him. It was so fitting.

You will cry upon reading the lyrics, but know that I am crying with you.

"Life is a book that we study
Some of its leaves bring a sigh
There it was written by a buddy
That we must part, you and I.

Nights are long since you went away
I think about you all through the day
My buddy, my buddy
Nobody quite so true.

Miss your voice, the touch of your hand
Just long to know that you understand
My buddy, my buddy
Your buddy misses you.

Your buddy misses you, yes I do."

Petmum, you are not alone.

Elliot's mom

Great big hug to your Dad and Pretty Girl. My condolences on the loss of your dad and his Pretty Girl. Thanks for sharing that, Elliot's Mom.

Thx elliot's mum, it brought tears of love for my "buddy"