I'm so torn on what I will have to do. My dog, a now 7 year old golden retriever named Buddy, was diagnosed with heart and kidney problems that were curable by itself, but would affect one another if treated. He also has a possibility of cancer. we were told it was best to put him to sleep that week of March, but he seemed like he was still battling to live, so we didnt. We've had to "force feed" him liquidized dog food for the past 2 months. He's lived longer than the vet said he would, but now he's starting to wear. He's alive but he stands up with difficulty and sometimes refuses to lay down because i'm guessing it hurts, he's really really skinny. I know it's almost his time, but he's been with me for so long that I don't want to let him go. I read on here someone said, taking the final step is the final act of love, and i take that to the heart because i know this is what's best for him, let him go, let him rest. I'm gonna miss him so much, his positive attitude about everything, his greet after school, the wag of his tail (even now that he's so weak, he still manages to shake it when i call his name). I love you Buddy, and I'm going to miss you so much. April 3, 2002 -


In March when we found out buddy was sick, I had gotten a kitten earlier that week. He was like a little beacon of happiness, not meant to replace buddy because no one ever could, but to allow me to cope with what would have to be done. He was a little long haired tuxedo kitten with a pink "button" nose and some wide eyes. It looked like he'd been electricuted or something, he was amazing. When it was time to sleep i would make a triangle with my arm and he would curl up inside of it from day one. He followed me everywhere, he talked to me, i know he loved me and i love him. He began to stop eating his food, which was wierd since he always loved his food, but ate small portions of our cat's food. We didn't really think much of it until he stopped eating that. by this time he was always sleeping, always lethargic. I decided to take him to the vet where the possibility of FIP came up and a test was taken. I wouldnt get the results until the next day, but that night i'll never forget. He was on my bed like usual and he jumped off to use the litterbox, he fell face flat because he was so weak. I knew this wasn't good. the next day after school i recieved news that it was FIP. I knew what had to be done. When I came home i found him on my bed just laying there. I spent time with him until it was time to take him to the vet. I decided to stay in the room when they were going to put him to sleep. He was so anemic that the injection wouldn't go in, it took four times. I wanted to be there for my little boy, I was there when he came home, i wanted to be there when he was at peace. i remember staring into his eyes, and i didnt realize when he was finally gone. I know i did the right thing, I just miss him so much, he really was one of a kind. I love you Rollie Pollie Ollie, I hope your enjoying your new life. January 3, 2009 - May 5, 2009


I cope by telling myself how i gave them the best life i could give them. knowing that they knew i loved them. It's hard losing two pets at such small intervals, but it's for the best. I know i loved them, and im sure they know it too. God works in mysterious ways, currently I've got my hands full with 4 little bundles of joy. my manager found 4 5 week old kittens in her backyard and called me. I decided to take them in and they are just so amazing. I know i'm going to need something to keep a smile on my face when buddy has to leave us, and i'm happy it's them.

Hi, rollie pollie ollie, I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Ollie, and now the anticipatory loss of your beloved Buddy. Euthanasia is never an easy decision to make - - even when we have come to accept the need for it - - for it is comparable to stopping life support for a human family member or friend. Once it is done there is no undoing it. However, it is the last gift of love that we can give to our beloved companions so that they can join the angels and once again be healthy and happy as they wait for us to join them in eternal joy at our appropriate time. I do understand the conflict that is in your heart, for I have walked your journey many times in my life with furchild companions. You know Buddy better than anyone - - even the vet. Follow your heart and you will do what is best for your beloved Buddy even though your heart will be breaking. The most important thing for you to know is that you are not alone in this journey. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and Buddy are doing. And - - congratulations on your new kitty kids. They are adorable.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

So very sorry for the pain you are feeling. I know how it feels. I too just lost two dogs. We lost Lily, an 8-year-old spaniel cross, suddenly and unexpectedly last June 24th. Then just a week later we found out that our 7-year-old golden retriever Hunny had cancer. Losing Lily was devastating, but then finding out that we might lose Hunny too was a nightmare. It turned out that she had a non-spreading cancer, so she ended up having two toes on her front left foot removed. They weren't able to get all the cancer cells though, so it was always in the back of our minds that it would come back. But as the days roll by, you hope for another month or two, then a few more. Well, we noticed the cancer had returned at Christmas. The tumour was growing again. We knew that if it came back, that we would have to make that awful decision to let her go. But I had a very hard time with that, because all she had wrong with her was a bad foot! The tumour kept growing, and by the beginning of March it was getting so big I was afraid that it would split open like it did the first time. We took her to another vet for a second opinion. I knew there was nothing more we could do for her. Her only option, it she was a candidate, was to remove her whole leg. I made a decision last year, that we would never do that. She was now 8, she was overweight and had arthritis in her hips, she would have no quality of life with three legs. No matter how much I loved her, I couldn't just watch her lay around and not be able to get up. Anyway, we took her March 6 to another vet. This time the cancer had spread. It was now in her lymph nodes. She had a huge lump on her chest. There was no hope for her now. The vet wanted to put her to sleep that day, but there was no way I was ready to let her go yet. Besides, my daughter hadn't said her goodbyes. So we took her home, with pain killers. I never knew before if she was in pain or not, I didn't think so, not all the time anyway. But the lump was just getting bigger every day, it must have been uncomfortable.

I tried cutting back on the pain killers one day, she didn't do very well. She started coughing and she started this obsessive licking, which really freaked me out. So I upped her pain meds again. The cancer was spreading, lumps were popping up in different places. I couldn't bear the thought of having to let her go, but I knew the time was coming and soon. I could see it in her eyes. She still seemed to be in good spirits, but I think the pain killers were masking her pain very well. Making that final decision was by far the worst thing I've ever had to do. The day we had to make the call, I cried all day long, but I couldn't bear to see her suffer. I've seen a dog suffer with cancer - it is not nice at all. I had been so stressed out since Christmas. We were living day by day. I prayed that she would slip away in her sleep, but she kept hanging on. I believe she didn't want to leave our other pups whom she had just met a few months earlier. We gave Hunny her angel wings April 4, 2009. I choose to believe that Hunny and Lily are together again. That they are playing and running in the fields at the Rainbow Bridge. I hope that one day we will all be together again.

There is nothing easy about putting our babies to sleep. I hope that I never have to do it ever again. But I know in my heart that I had no choice. I don't know how much longer she would have hung on. Maybe just another week or two. And I continue to agonize over whether we did it at the right time. I don't think any time is the right time, but could we have waited another week or two? I don't know. I sure wish we could have. But honestly, I was afraid that she would really begin to suffer and take it out on the other dogs., plus she had a big open tumour. She was constantly licking it. And one more lump had appeared on the back of her neck. It was really spreading fast now. How long before it hit her brain? There would be no way I could handle that!!! No way!

I miss Hunny every day. Even though it was the toughest decision I've ever had to make and I wish I never had to, we were living day by day. Every morning I would wake up and if I didn't hear her, would wonder if she was still with us. Every night I would wonder if she would be with us the next day. It was very stressful. I spent two months last year bandaging her foot at least once every day. And I would gladly do it all again to have her with me again. But, it was terribly hard. That sounds selfish, but it is hard on everyone.

Of course I cried when she left us, but I had cried so many tears since she got sick. Knowing that she is with Lily is the only thing that brings me peace now. I wish that I hadn't put her to sleep, but I could never have watched my baby suffer. She deserved more respect than that. She deserved to die with some dignity. I've heard of people who are so sick that they wish their lives would end. Infact, my husband lost an uncle just a month and a half before we lost Hunny, and he wanted someone to just shoot him. His cancer had taken away his quality of life and his dignity. I could not let Hunny die like that.

I found this website the Wednesday before we let Hunny go, and it was a life saver in a way. There are people here who have such a way with words, it is just like they are here with you with an arm around your shoulder. I know I would have made it through without them, but they very definitely helped me make it through the toughest part which for me was making that final decision.

I know I'm not much comfort to you, I'm still missing my babies so much. I still need to tak about them. But please know that I understand how difficult it is to let them go. I would have held on to Hunny longer if I could have, but she had an open tumour on her foot and there was nothing more we could do. We could have demassed it I guess, but it was just growing so quickly. I didn't want to put her through anymore than she had to. And I knew she missed her sister Lily. I had been telling her for a few weeks before that Lily was waiting for her and that she'd have no more pain or aches. That she could run again. I think Hunny was ready to go. I don't think she wanted to go, but I do think she was ready.

Letting them go with their dignity is probably the greatest final thing we can do for them. It was extremely hard, but I don't think I would want to suffer to the very end.

Loving them means letting them go, I guess. In a way it is the final act of love. Like I said I've watched a dog die of cancer, and I would never have let Hunny go through that. That was so awful. A nightmare. I have no regrets with Hunny or Lily. They both had a great life with us. I just wish we would have been able to say "so long" to Lily. We had many months to let Hunny know how we felt about her. She knew we loved her. They both did. And now they are happy together again.

Anyway, I know whatever decision you make will ba very tough one. Your babies know you love them. You'll be in my thoughts. Take care.

Hi Rollie...
I am so sorry for all you are going through. Unfortunately, everyone here has lost a furbaby so we feel your pain and understand how awful the choice is you have to make. I've had to have 2 pets euthanized and it never gets any easier, but it truly is the best you can do for Buddy. I wish I had a copy of the Dogs Prayer because it addresses this issue in the final paragraph. If you can find it please read it because it makes so much sense. Lynette is right, this forum is a great place to find strength and comfort. Everyone is very supportive. It has been 5 weeks since I lost my dog Austin and I think the first 2 weeks my grief was so overwhelming I could barely function. they passed in a haze of tears, Xanax and sleep. And yes, I know - sleep is an escape mechanism - but I couldn't stand the pain when I was awake. When I found this site and was able to pour out my grief in writing i found it very cathartic. the number of people who responded really touched my heart and it helped me to start healing. I still cry often, mostly at night when his spot on the bed is empty, but have started thinking of him and smiling occassionally. Now when I get notices that someone new has had to join us I rush to read the post and try to offer some comfort as I was comforted. Please know that we are all thinking of you and Buddy. I know you will do what is best for him and he knows how much you love him. Come back and write and let us know how you are doing. Hopefully your new kittens will help to ease the burden of grief you are now feeling.

Wishing you peace,
carol

youre story really made me cry. im so so sorry for what you are having to deal with. what a beautiful dog buddy is! how hard this must be for you!!! i realize how fortunate ive been that ive never had to wait before putting my little ones down. its always been so quick and the decision to relieve them of their pain has been overnight. i cannot imagine the pain you are dealing with. and to lose tuxedo, i dont think ive ever seen a cuter kitten, well please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. you are doing the right thing. im so glad you have new little kittens. i like to think that when that happens, they were sent from up above to help us cope. almost three months ago, i lost my cat fred whom id had for 14 years. i was devastated! a week later, my friend spoke to me about a little dog that had had a rough life (she was only 6.5 months old) and needed a forever home. although it was really hard as i went thru the normal guilt feelings and it was soooo soon, im happy to report that little lucy was my little angel sent by fred to help mom smile again. it hasnt been easy thats for sure but i know that fred is looking out for me, just like tuxedo and buddy willbe looking out for you. give your new little kittens extra hugs and kisses as they will help you get thru this most difficult time.

my thoughts and prayers are with you!!!!
patricia

thank you for all your kindness and support. I'm sad to report that we had to put buddy down yesterday May 26, 2009. He wasn't doing very well this weekend, he stayed in one spot the whole day. He would only look up at us. I knew it was time. We made the phone call the next day and were to come in at 2:45. He looked so elegant walking through those doors. He wagged his tail the whole time. When they put him on the table, they sedated him so it wouldn't be as bad. the doctor said it would take 10 minutes for buddy to be sedated, but buddy stayed awake for 20 minutes. As he laid there i rubbed his belly and he shook his leg like he always did. He wagged his tail like he always did, till the very end - that's the part that makes me the saddest. He looked at me like he always did. I miss him so much. I want to thank him for giving us those two extra months to be with him. I know he's better now. no more suffering, i just wish i'd had more time with him. He's the father of our two other dogs. He was the huggable teddy bear when I needed him. He was my pillow when we both laid down on the couch. He was the hyper puppy from 7 years ago, the one that chewed up all of the shoes. The dog that always showed kindness to anything or anyone. but most of all he was my best friend. the dog that grew up with me. I'm missing you buddy bear. April 3, 2002 - May 26, 2009

my heart is broken for you. i am so sorry! take comfort in knowing that buddy is ok now. hes not suffering any longer and more importantly he knew how much you loved him. he is looking down on you right now!
you are in my thoughts and prayers!
patricia

I'm so sorry. I cried when I read this because I know how painful it is to let the one you love go. I was with Hunny to the very end. She earned her angle wings just 7 weeks ago and it still is very hard.

He is so beautiful. I hope he meets my babies up there at the Bridge and I'm sure they'll become best of friends.

Take care.

PLEASE PARDON ALL CAP LETTERS. I'M TYPING WITH ONE HAND AND IT'S EASIER FOR ME. THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING ...

DEAREST ROLLIE POLLIE OLLLIE, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT HAVING POSTED TO YOU YET. I'VE READ YOUR POSTS SEVERAL TIMES, HAVE TRIED MY DARNDEST TO SAY SOMETHING OFFERING COMFORT TO YOU BUT EACH TIME FIND MYSELF IN A PUDDLE OF TEARS. PLEASE FORGIVE ME! YOU SEE, MY DOG IS ALSO NAMED BUDDY AND IS A LAB (MIX) BUT LOOKS NOTHING AT ALL LIKE YOUR BUDDY AND ... WELL ...

EVERYONE HERE WHO KNOWS ME ALREADY REALIZES THAT I EXPRESS MYSELF FAR BETTER WHEN USING IMAGES, SONGS, VIDEOS, POEMS, COMBINATIONS OF ALL OF THOSE ...

I VERY MUCH WANT TO EXPRESS HOW TERRIBLY SORRY I AM FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR MOST CHERISHED FUR CHILD BUDDY DOG AND THEN THE SWEET, DEAR, LOVING KITTEN. BOTH SO UNTIMELY AND I CAN TRULY HEAR YOUR HEART BREAKING AS WELL AS FEEL YOUR GAWD AWFUL GRIEF AND DEVASTATION. PLEASE ACCEPT MY MOST SINCERE DEEPEST CONDOLENCES.

UNTIL I CAN FIND MY WORDS WHICH PRACTICALLY ALWAYS ELUDE ME AFTER HEARING ABOUT YOUR 7 YEAR OLD DARLING BUDDY DOG AND PRECIOUS CUDDLY KITTEN, ALL I CAN THEN DO IS TO SAVE TO MY FILES THE PHOTOS YOU'VE BEEN SO DEAR TO SHARE, TAKE THEM TO MY PROGRAMS, ENHANCE THEM ADDING GLITTERING ANGEL WINGS, SPARKLING, LOVING HEARTS, TEDDY BEARS, STARS, GLITTER BUTTERFLIES AND MUCH MORE ALONG WITH SEVERAL DIFFERENT FRAMES AND PERHAPS A CAPTION AS TO WHAT I KNOW IN MY SOUL THAT THEY WOULD WANT TO TELL YOU RIGHT THIS MOMENT IF YOU COULD HEAR THEM ...

OLLIE, THEY ARE ONLY A BREATH AWAY FROM YOU RIGHT NOW AT THIS VERY MOMENT ... AND A BREATH AWAY IS REALLY NOT TOO FAR AT ALL FROM WHERE YOU ARE. HONEST AND FOR TRUE. I HAVE PROOF OF THAT WHICH I CAN SHARE WITH YOU TOO, ROLLIE.

HOWEVER, YOUR GRIEF, SORROW, PAIN AND DEVASTATION GIVES ME PAUSE UNLESS I KNOW IT WILL COMFORT YOU INSTEAD OF DOING JUST THE OPPOSITE AND GAWD KNOWS WHAT GOSH AWFUL DIFFICULT TIME YOU'RE HAVING AS IT IS ALREADY.

WELL, THAT WASN'T ANY COMFORT AT ALL. ROLLIE, I AM SO VERY, VERY SORRY THIS HAPPENED TO YOUR FUR BABIES, YOU AND I WISH UPON WISH THAT I COULD WAVE A MAGIC WAND TO TAKE AWAY AT LEAST ONE TENTH OF ALL YOUR PAIN.

YOU ARE A WONDERFUL FUR KID PARENT!!! PLEASE, DON'T EVER FORGET THAT!

UNTIL THAT POINT IN TIME THAT I FEEL OR I'M TOLD THAT I MAY USE THEIR PHOTOS IN HOPES TO BRING YOU SOME SMALL COMFORT AND HOPE IN ORDER TO SHOW YOU THAT LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU AND BOTH YOUR CHERISHED FUR BABIES ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AS I WING MANY, MANY LOVING ANGELS TO SOOTHE AND GUIDE YOU THROUGH WHAT MUST BE JUST ABOUT THE MOST DIFFICULT TIME IN YOUR LIFE, DEAR ONE.

I WISH YOU AND YOU FUR BABIES PEACE!!!



MANY COMFORTING HUGS!!!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Hi, Buddy's Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Buddy. Even though your mind knows that he is now healthy and happy playing with the angels in heaven's perfect garden, I know your heart is breaking from the temporary physical absence of him. You gave Buddy the last gift of love you could for him during his journey on this side of eternity by releasing him from his failing physical body. His sweet living Spirit continues to be with you and will always be with you in your heart and your memories wherever you go and whatever you do. Buddy's Mom, please know that we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I am so sorry for both of your losses. We lost our kitty cat, Joey, to FIP as well. That was last Tuesday, 5/19. Isn't it a horrible disease? He was also very young, just about 8 months. We adopted him in late January, so only had the honor of knowing him for about 4 months. Maybe our little guys will meet up there in heaven! I loved seeing your pictures, thanks for sharing. What sweeties. I'm sorry to hear that you had to put Buddy to sleep this week. You are in my thoughts. Please continue to share your feelings. This is a great place to let it all out. I don't know what else to say, but you are not alone. Take care.