Fluffy was the finest pomeranian I knew. I got him when I was six years old, and we were inseperable from the start. He was playful, loving, mischievous, and was always at my side. When I took him for walks, I wouldn't even have to use a leash. I could hear him happily bouncing along beside me, and will forever cherish the jingle sound his tags made when they clanked against each other.
He was a small dog, too. The vet would always chuckle when she weighed him--always in the single digits! But despite his size, he was bold enough to bark at dogs much larger than he. His size was just perfect for me to scoop him up into my arms and cuddle.
Fluffy was there for me all through my childhood and teen years. As time went on, we only grew closer. We mimicked each other's habits as we got a little older. As a teen, I of course dealt with the sleep deprivation of long hours of studying, and would curl up on the couch to sleep. Fluffy would be curled up next to me, also in need of sleep from whatever it was that would tire him out.
And every weekend, I'd watch a black and white movie. Fluffy would be there watching with me, curled up inside my sweater.
The memories I have of Fluffy almost always bring a smile to my face. Because of him being a pomeranian--or as I'd call him, my pommarainbow!--he would have VERY POOFY fur! When it was summer and got too hot out, we'd take him to the groomer to get a shave. After his haircut, his name just became ironic until his fur would grow back. My unfluffy Fluffy!
I was his owner for a smidge over thirteen years. However, as he got older, some health problems began to arise. He had a mild heart murmer, and somehow managed in injure a ligament in his right hind leg. The vet didn't want to put him under anasthesia to operate on it, because the sweetie was too old for that sort of thing. Instead, she gave him some anti-inflammatories, and he seemed better, though he would limp only every now and then. Regardless, Fluffy absolutely despised the vet. Who wants to sit around at the vet's when there's a whole WORLD outside? (One without pesky shots, too!)
Anyhow, I'm 19 now, and out of state for college. Week by week my mother had been calling me complaining about Fluffy's health. In March I came home for spring break, and saw that my Fluffy was just fine--at least in my opinion. Or maybe it was because we were reunited again, and ready for some mischief? He was as sweet and loving as ever. Anytime I'd come back from college, I'd make a beeline for my Fluff and scoop him into my arms. I'd then proceed to carry him around the house for hours; loving the feel of getting to hold my lovely Fluffy again!
Little did I know that spring break would be the last time I'd see him. I wish I'd have hugged him more--said a proper goodbye. When I had thrown my luggage into my dad's car before catching the bus, I of course made the time to stroke Fluffy's fur, coax him out of his basket, and cuddle the daylights out of him--until next time. I had NO idea that this would be our last time together. I had always counted on seeing that happy smile on his face when I'd come home, and it hurts knowing that he won't be there for me; his ashes will.
My Fluffy died on Saturday morning, sleeping in his little basket. I received a phone call from my 10 year old sister, who matter-of-factly told me that "Fluffy died." It couldn't be. Not my Fluffy. I knew this day would come; I've DREADED it for sooo long (especially after seeing Old Yeller, My Dog Skip, and Marley & Me). And it hurts me that I was so far away. When things got rough, I'd cry and cry--burying my face in his fur; but it pains me that this isn't even an option anymore.
My Fluffy was the best friend I ever had, and hands-down the best pet anyone could ask for. If someone shouted at me, he'd spring out of his basket and bark at them--my vicious little guard dog. I'd jokingly call him "Killer," for dramatic effect, haha... When I was a kid and toyed with the idea of running away from home, Fluffy was the FIRST thing I'd pack. I'd place him in an open backpack, and he would stick his head out and ## it to the side; perplexed. At age eight, I orchestrated a version of the "Wizard of Oz" with some of my friends--and he was the most WONDERFUL Toto!
Anyhow, when I found out he died, my sister tearfully ended the conversation after I spoke to my crying mother. I can't seem to face her on the phone at all. I forgot to mention that Friday afternoon she called ranting about his health and flat out asked me if I wanted ashes. Taken aback, I hung up the phone on her. It felt awful to do, but I was horrified that she'd even ask such a thing.
I immediately began venting to my boyfriend, and he listened to me jabber on and on about this mess. He had had experience with pet loss (although this was not what I thought would happen--not anytime soon) after his family had to put his dog down while he was on a vacation with some friends.
I guess in the end, I'm partially glad I wasn't there to see him at his worst. I want to remember him the way I do, but also wish so badly that I WAS there for him, stroking his fur, and at LEAST saying goodbye. Maybe we somehow knew that at the end of my break, as I said goodbye for the time being...I guess I'm glad I at least did that for him. Although I'd be a state away, he'd always, always be in my thoughts. My friends and I show each other pictures of our pets on our cell phones all the time, and I have pictures of my Fluffaroo all over my dorm desk.
Fluffy LOVED to meet new people. He'd get so excited--jumping around all over the place, wagging his tail, warmly tucking his ears back in eager anticipation of a pat on the head.
One of his many quirks was that he'd communicate with me through sneezing. He'd sneeze when he wanted to go outside. My boyfriend would sneeze back at him--Fluffy loved that! I'd joke and say that my boys must have a cold or something...
After ending that painful phone call, I went straight to my friend Maddie's dorm (she lives in the room below mine) and cried, cried, cried. Although it seemed so strange to cry over Fluffy--a fellow who had brought me SO much love and SOO much joy. I didn't feel it was appropriate to cry over him. We talked about how Fluffy probably wonders what in God's name I'm doing weeping about when he has WINGS! And that ultimately, he won, because he got away from my mother's cooking before I did. Ya got me there, Fluff. You win this one!
After making some more phone calls, and being taken care of by my wonderful friends, I felt a little better. My boyfriend joined us (he goes to my school) and when we dispersed, I got sad again, and sort of broke down on him. But he stayed and held me the entire night, while I went through who knows how many boxes of tissues. I'm so grateful to have people around here to support me and listen to me during this really tough time.
I'm also glad to have stumbled upon this site. I seem to be alright at the moment, but I've had tears on my pillow these past few nights. It hurts a lot, but the hurt comes and goes. I never know when it'll hit.
Fluffy made me incredibly happy. I can't remember life without him. I don't even want to. I wish we had had more time together--that I'd have hugged him more, carried him around with me more during my break. It hurts that I didn't know this would happen. But then again, even if we did have a chance to say goodbye, I'm convinced I'd still feel this gaping hole in my heart.
I miss my Fluffy.
Love,
Annette

p.s. He was a very pose-able dog. I'd often buy a roll of film, just to spend on him!

Annette,

If you were to stumble onto a place-I'm glad this was the one. It helped me so very very much. The people here are just wonderful and so kind!!!! And most have been in your shoes at some point in time.

Sounds like you two and a very wonderful companionship!!!!

You will miss her terribly, but we have to make ourself go on day by day!!!

Share more stories and pictures when ever you feel like it!!!!

Hugs to you and your new angel Fluffy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks so much for your kind words! I need all the comfort I can get.
By the way, Fluffy was a male. Haha--don't worry, you're not the first to make that mistake! I will definitely keep coming back as much as I need. I know that he isn't in any pain, he's not old anymore, he lived a good long life, and he was MY dog--making him pampered beyond belief!
-Annette

My apologies to MR. FLUFFY I am so sorry!!!

You are right. He is at the Rainbow Bridge with a new body, no cares in the world, no pain,-- waiting for the day you are reunited.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been one whole week since my Fluffy was upgraded with some angel wings.
It feels like much longer, although I don't think it has completely sunk in yet. Not till I go home, and notice how different things will be without him.
No yappy barks. No jingling collar tags. No begging for scraps when I'm eating. No letting him outside. No walks together. No big triangle ears to whisper my troubles to. No cage, no food bowls, no stroking his soft fur.
It won't be the same.
I dread coming home.
Fluffy has been sent away for cremation since then. My family is still waiting for his ashes.
I dread that, too.
I don't know what to do with them.
I thought about burying them in my wildflower garden. But if we don't stay in the house, I wouldn't want to abandon them. I wouldn't want to dig them up either. And I'd hate to think of him alone out there.
At the same time, I hate urns. I think they're all too generic, haphazard, and aren't at all fitting for my Fluff. If I do get one, which I probably will end up doing, I guess I'm going to have to take decorating into my own hands. He deserves it.
I guess I need a little advice on these things.
Either way, he's forever buried in my heart.
The pain hasn't been so bad lately, on my end. I cried myself to sleep a few more nights earlier, but I've calmed down a little more.
Yet every time I see a dog, my goodness. I always think of my Fluffy. And it's only been one week. One week.
One week since I've lost my best friend.
I miss you, Fluffy.
Love,
Annette

You are feeling the (waves). Or what some call a roller coaster of emotions. You will have the better days and the worst day. Gradually the good will outweigh the bad.

Hugs tou you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, he looks a lot like my Pom CoCo. I hope they are playing together at the Bridge. Blessings.

I've come back from college, and am finally coping with the absence of Fluffy. The house isn't the same anymore. I doubt it ever will be. I miss his barking whenever someone opened up the garage. I can't stand the sight of the vacant spot where his cage & basket used to be. Instead, there are pictures of him on the wall in that area, and his leash & collar. I miss him terribly. Sometimes I think I hear him barking, and get up to let him in from the backyard, and then I remember. Other times, I'll save a scrap from my plate and look for him under the table, but he's not there. And there are days where I just want to pet him--but I can't. I will never be able to.
Fluffy was cremated. I stumbled across the box of his ashes in the garage today. No one really bothered to tell me they were there; it was sort of the elephant in the room since I got back. I'm not sure what to do with the cremains. I don't think I can bring myself to take them down from the shelf just yet. I'd give anything to hold my Fluffy again; but not like this. I wish we'd have had more time together.
I miss you, Fluffy.
Love,
Annette

Dear Annette, I feel for you losing your little Pom. Our little Pom has been gone since Sat. he too was actually our daughter's. She is 20 and moved out last Nov. She had to leave him with us because he could not have handled the move. However she will be here Friday....and I know how hard it is going to be for her. She is already so distraught. She was lucky to have been able to spend time with our little boy before he was put down but it is different when you are here, home, and he is not.
Take Care. Sounds like you were a Wonderful friend to your little one.
BK59

BK, thank you so much for your words. Although the loss is terrible, I think that both of us can find comfort in the fact that we are not alone in the pain.

I've finally made up my mind, and have a spot to bury Fluffy's cremains in. I've settled on my wildflower garden, conveniently located in the backyard he loved so much. I'm going to beautify the spot some more, probably plant many more flowers, and get a small stone marker with his name on it.

My Fluffy passed on April 4th of this year, and I don't think I've outrightly had contact with him. But, then again, I don't think that I have not.
Fluffy was a pomeranian, and although he was small in size, he was large in loyalty. I still think of him as my little guard dog and best friend, only upgraded.
Sometimes he finds his way into my dreams. Other days he crosses my thoughts, only to make me smile and value the thirteen years we had with each other. Others aren't so lucky.
But there are also the days in which I am so painfully aware of the lack of his presence. I'll set aside a scrap for him during dinner and look for him under the table, but he's not there. I'll come home from work and anticipate his enthralled behavior that always surfaced upon my return, but I no longer hear the light and quickened pattering of his paws rushing to me on our floor anymore. I'll think I'm hearing him bark outside, and I go to let him in, but he no longer dances through the door. Nor will he.
And there are tougher days when all I want to do is bury my face into his fur and cry for some comfort, or whisper my thoughts into those big triangular, ever-listening ears of his. But I can't.
What hurts the most is that I never properly said goodbye to him. The last moment I spent with him was petting his thick fur on my last day of spring break, just before leaving to catch the bus to go back to school. I attend college out of state, you see. About three weeks later, I got the dreaded phone call that he had died. I was thoroughly, thoroughly depressed, and angry that I never said goodbye to him. I wish I'd have spent more time with him. I wish I could have held him more, and been there for him near the end. But I guess I never saw it coming. And I never said goodbye.
But why say goodbye? Do our loved ones ever really leave us? No. Not in my opinion. I believe that my Fluffy is always close to me, and always buried in my heart. When I would take Fluffy for walks, I wouldn't have to use a leash. He would always be walking beside me, wherever I led him. When I walk the routes we used to take, I feel it's the same way. Although I'll forever miss the jingling sound that his license tags would make whenever he took a step, the more I realize that he's free, and has no need for a leash and collar anymore. But wherever I go, be it in my thoughts, hearing things, or simply memories, I believe that Fluffy is trailing along beside me, like the sweet companion that he was.
I miss you, Fluff.
Love,
Annette

AngelCareOne, thank you for the sweet response. Fluffy passed two months ago today, and your message defintely gave me some comfort.
Miss you Fluffy,
Love, Annette

Dearest Annette, I'm so pleased to hear you were comforted. My gosh, it's only been two months. Hugs!!! Your most precious fur baby Angel Fluffy would tell you this. I just know it!

Please Click on the Golden Glittering Heart



"I Am Your Angel"

No mountain's too high for you to climb.
All you have to do is have some Climbing Faith.
No river's too wide for you to make it across.
All you have to do is Believe it when you Pray.

And then you will see the Morning will come.
And every day will be Bright as the Sun!
All of your fears cast them on me.
I just want you to see.

I'll be your cloud up in the Sky.
I'll be your shoulder when you cry.
I'll hear your voices when you call me.
I Am Your Angel!

And when all hope is gone I'm here.
No matter how far you are I'm near.
It makes no difference who you are.
I Am Your Angel! I Am Your Angel!

I saw your teardrops and I heard you cry.
All you need is time ...
Seek me and you shall find.

You have everything and you're still lonely.
It don't have to be this way.
Let me show you a better day.

And then you will see the Morning will come.
And all of your days will be Bright as the Sun!
So all of your fears just cast them on me.
How can I make you see?

I'll be your cloud up in the Sky.
I'll be your shoulder when you cry.
I'll hear your voices when you call me.
I Am Your Angel!

And when it's time to face the storm ...
I'll be there by your side.
Grace will keep us safe and warm.
And I know we will Survive!

And when it seems as if your end is drawing near ...
Don't you dare give up the fight.
Just put your Trust beyond the Sky!

I'll be your cloud up in the Sky.
I'll be your shoulder when you cry.
I'll hear your voices when you call me.
I Am Your Angel!



Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

It's already been a bit over 2 years since my Fluffy passed away, and I still find myself grieving for him. Granted, the pain is not as great as it was initially, but I will always miss him. That's just life. Everyone thinks the world of their pet, and I definitely miss our bond. They give us so much joy and comfort, and there is no satisfactory way to lose a pet. I miss him terribly, and still deeply regret not saying goodbye to him. I hate that I was not there for him in his final moments, but I was stuck at college. Once he was gone, it was over. It happened so quickly. How could I live with myself? How could I deal with the fact that this sweet animal who had given me so much constant happiness had faced death without me at his side? I will forever despise myself for that. I wish that death were eliminated altogether, but sadly, it's a part of life. And I'll always miss my Fluffy.
I am so, so grateful for the existence of this community. You have given me so much comfort and it helps to know that I am not alone in my sorrow over losing a pet. It hurts, it always will, but going through the pain alone is terrible. I'm so glad that we're all here for each other, even though it's over the commonality of loss. As sad as the situation was, I definitely need to thank everyone on this forum for being a source of comfort.
Thanks, everyone. I hope I can comfort you just as much!

Dear Nettybo,

I do hope that someday you manage to find some peace within yourself. I do understand how you're feeling -- I wasn't there for my baby's last moments, and felt terrible guilt over it. However, I now truly believe that our babies understand why we weren't there, and they do not hold it against us. That's what makes our furbabies so special -- their love for us is unconditional. I know your Fluffy is hoping that you forgive yourself -- it would make him sad to know that you're carrying all of this guilt. You say that he had to 'face death' without you by his side, but please know that animals do not fear death, like us humans do. I'm sure that his transition to the angels was a peaceful one and that he had lots of friends to meet him at the Bridge. He's in a wonderful, beautiful place now, where there is no sadness, no pain, no suffering. Here, he will wait for you, until it's your time to be reunited for all eternity. In the meantime, he is with you always, in your heart and memories.

Take care of yourself,
Cheryl xx